411 MLW Report – 02.14.04

The views and opinions expressed herein are those solely of the author and may not necessarily reflect those of the rest of the human race.

Well, I’m sure you’ve heard the news. MLW is pretty much history, and this time it’s for good. Two main investors have backed out and three’s no money left to run the promotion. We’ll see then if they go out with a bang on television since they seem to be leaving with a whimper overall. Look at the bright side – this is one less report I’ll be clogging up the site with…

Sad thing is, I could have skipped this one altogether. Chances are this is the final MLW Underground TV show and, come on, how many of you will have seen it? 2? 3, tops? It’s not like anyone would have known any better…

But I decided to stick in with this one because it IS probably the last show. And, truth be told, I’m going to miss MLW. Some of these guys I’ll be able to see on TNA Xplosion (now that Sunshine’s finally carrying that), but many I won’t. Goodbye Steve Corino, Gary Hart, Homicide, Los Maximos, Teddy Hart, the Stampede Bulldogs…damn.

Oh well – that’s enough of my boo-hooing. Besides, I already cried about it once. Time to get on with the abbreviated pimping for Friday, complete with the customary repeat from the SmackDown Report…

First, as always, is the Rick Martel to my Tito Santana, Stephen Randle and the News Experience. You notice it’s strictly a tag team deal, although Gagnon’s handling the TNA gig well enough so far.

The BlackLogs seem to be the place for breaking news here lately. Matt Biscuiti may have gotten the drop on Kerry’s office games before it becomes dirt slung (created? More on that in a moment) by those who want Bush to have 4 more years. Mind you, that’s if any of this is true – which brings me directly to—

Eric’S BlackLog (no, that’s not a typo – see, there’s even a link), wherein he gives Biscuiti a gentle backhand in re: the source of the Kerry report. This was also the first place I found out about the Windows 2000 Source Code. Then Daniels threw in a sect about it in his Friday Black Report. Between the two, I’m afraid of MyDoom looking like a minor glitch in the soundcard if somebody pissed off enough at Bill Gates gets a hold of it. This could be a hot time in the old town tonight.

All sorts of congratulations go out to Cameron for his son Jalen, his wife’s continued health after a scary episode, and for the one year anniversary of The Bootleg. Talked with Aaron earlier and the family is doing fine. Good to hear.

I forgot to mention yesterday that Will Helm has set his sights on Excalibur as the latest Misunderstood Masterpiece. Which, in defense of Excalibur, I have to say is at least more accurate than First Knight. That movie just blew dog. Richard Gere is about as exciting as a brick and Julia Fucking Gap Tooth Ormond is the woman that divides a kingdom?! Since when??

…and that about covers the pimping. What do you expect – not much else has gone up in the last day and a half. And besides, there’s Rasslin’ to get to!

MLW – 021404

Show opens with last week’s main event, joined in progress. (Which means yes, this replay is pasted from last week’s report.) Both Horsemen down in the ring and the Samoans working them over. Samu and Anderson take it outside as Mana chops Diamond in the ring. Samu posts Anderson crotch-first on the outside steel post. Ow. Mana punches Diamond in the corner, but the corner-whip-and-charge misses. Diamond with a superkick and Anderson slides in to deliver one as well and cover for 2. Diamond slams Samu and puts a chair in his ribs as Anderson works Mana with the ring bell on the outside. Diamond comes off the top to eat a chair thrown by Samu. Corino breaks away from the broadcast station now and jumps Samu. Double flapjack by Corino and Diamond on Samu. Corino comes with the lariat but Samu ducks and Diamond takes it instead. Samoan Drop on Diamond but the cover is broken by Anderson and a chair. Anderson drills Mana coming in the ring and it takes 3 unprotected shots to drop Mana. I heart granite skulls. Corino fetches the announcer’s table and hands it to Anderson to set up in the ring. Mana punches Anderson into having a seat in the chair and comes off the ropes but Anderson pops up and nails the Spinebuster~! through the table for 2~! Superkick by Diamond on Samu as Anderson tackles Mana. JJ Dillon (!!) is out to give Anderson a chair, and Anderson shoves him down! JJ’s pissed, so he gives the chair to Mana instead and I’m hoping Mana isn’t stupid enough to fall for it. Alas, he is and Dillon hits him with his shoe before Anderson superkicks the chair into Mana’s face and Diamond assists with the cover for 3. Horsemen retain the titles with a piddly finish.

Opening credits, still with generic music (which I guess is a moot point now), takes us to:

Commercial.

Back to
Chris Hero vs. Chad Collyer
Damn, I’m going to miss Eric Gargiulo and Steve Corino on commentary together. These two should be on Raw. Collyer starts off with a go-behind and the reversal sequence in on, won by Collyer with the armbar. Arm wringer by Hero and a top wristlock reversal by Collyer. Test of strength and Hero gets the side neck vise, but Collyer escapes and goes to the front facelock on the mat. Hero is back up and is back to the side neck vise but Collyer is out again and on the hammerlock. The crowd, at this point, is dead silent, and so are the commentators. Scary. Collyer with the headlock into the side Russian legsweep, then the Irish whip and dropkick for 2. Side suplex gets 2 for Collyer again. Corner-whip-and-charge by Collyer eats boot and Hero gets a side neck breaker off the second rope for 2. Throat thrusts in the corner by Hero and Hero ties Collyer’s legs up on the ropes in Shattered Dreams position, but hero runs off the opposite side with the Mafia Kick. Owch~! Hero back to the side neck vise and Collyer elbows out to start the slugfest. Irish whip by hero and Collyer slides under and hits a dropkick followed by an inverted DDT for 2. Collyer clotheslines Her over the top and hits the tope. Back in the ring, a German suplex by Collyer gets 2. Collyer goes for the vertical suplex, but Hero floats out and hits the Hero’s Welcome (aka the Last Rites) for 3.

Corino, upset at harping on Teddy Hart, leaves Gargiulo at the broadcast booth as Gargiulo promises to ask Teddy Hart if he’s ducking Corino (which he did – FOUR WEEKS AGO) and we go to:

Commercial.

Back to The Shane Twins vs. Rick Criado and Chad Hart
This is the first time I’ve ever seen the Shane Twins and no one on the commentary team is bothering with first names, so therefore they are now 1 and 2 for simplicity’s sake. Criado is out in a suit that he takes off before the match, and Chad is Gary’s son.
1 starts out beating on Hart in the corner. Northern lights suplex and an elbowsmash to the back of Hart’s head by 1, and Hart retaliates with a kick to the gut and a side headlock. Criado tags in for the Irish whip and the side headlock takedown. 1 flattens Criado and tags in 2, commencing the beatdown in the corner. 2 hits a power vertical suplex and tags in 1 who continues the punishment with a hard corner whip and a clothesline. Clothesline by 1 misses but he still gets the spinning Neckbreaker. Hart finally tags back in and he’s on fire~! Hiptoss by Hart, double whip and double back body drop on 1. Hart whips 1 to the corner, knees him in the back, and gets the schoolboy rollup and the 3-count assisted by the feet on the ropes. Afterward, Criado and Hart argue over the glory and seemingly make up, but Hart jumps Criado, leading the 2 to fight outside and us to:

Commercial.

Back to Chad Hart vs. Rich Criado – apparently an impromptu match
JJ Dillon (!) is now on commentary with Eric. Collar-and-elbow tie-up to start and Hart breaks to slap the taste out of Criado’s mouth. Collar-and-elbow again and Criado gets the hammerlock. Hart escapes and taunts Criado some more, and Criado answers that shit with a brainbuster! Deeamn! Snap mare and a scoop slam before the legdrop gets 2 for Criado. Criado has the knee-assisted chinlock, but Hart escapes. Criss-cross along the ropes and Criado goes down. Running legdrop by Hart gets 2. Criado off the ropes and gets a backslide for 2. Criado gets 2 with a feet-on-the-ropes cover. Hart hits a high knee (ala Harley Race) and gets the 3 on Criado. Two wins in one night – not bad, Gary’s kid.

Commercial.

Back to a music video of Vampiro’s return (thought he was in the Screwface match with Raven a couple of weeks ago…?) before we go to:

Commercial.

Back to
PJ Friedman, Mike Modest, & Chris Hero (again?) vs. Bobby Quance, “M-Dogg 20” Matt Cross, & Matt Martel (with Party Girls)
Gargiulo is flying solo on commentary and the Party Girls dance with anything in sight, including ring announcer Stephen D’Angelis (sp?) before we go to:

Commercial.

Back to Modest and Martel in the ring to start. Collar-and-elbow tie-up and Martel breaks in the corner to strut. Modest objects to Martel’s dancing, and he ain’t alone there. Modest with the side headlock and sends Martel of the ropes for the Battle of The Shoulders. We have a standoff until Modest ends it with a suckerpunch. Martel answers with a backbreaker and a back elbow off the ropes before he dances some more. Okay, that’s enough. Modest ducks outside and chases after one of the Party Girls, Persephone. Martel comes to the rescue and Friedman nails him from behind, sending Persephone down in the process. Back in the ring, Modest with the corner-charge-and-miss and Martel takes advantage with a deep armdrag and armbar. Hero tags in and gets the same. Quance tags in and gets Hero in a hammerlock. Off the ropes and Hero gets the shoulder but two more attempts results in 2 armdrags for Quance. Shoulders in the corner by Hero, but Quance with the reversal and the armbar (and THERE’S your Move Of The Night~!). Irish whip reversed by Hero but Quance still gets the backbreaker. Hero is up with a standing frog splash (almost) and the side neck vise before tagging in Friedman. Friedman hits a release German suplex on Quance and gets the armbar. Off the ropes, Quance makes the blind tag to 20 and takes the knee by Friedman, but 20 comes off the top with a dropkick. The doubleteam is on now with kicks and a double Irish whip but Friedman storms back and clotheslines both men out of their boots. Tag to Modest and a slam on 20 gets 2. Modest dumps 20 on the top rope and hits a schweet fisherman’s suplex off the top for 2! Quance and Friedman are on the floor, total chaos everywhere and Modest hits the Reality Check on 20 for 3.

We go now to Low Ki and Homicide walking down the street looking for an address. Homicide asks if Funk is really quitting, saying that he was an idol of Homicide but he’s quit so many times it’s sick. Funk’s days are numbered as Low Ki finds the house. They pay “the boss” a visit as the show ends.

The sad lack of continuity would otherwise bother me, but who cares? It’s not like we’ll see a follow-up to any of the storylines. Most action I’ve seen on an MLW show (and that’s saying something), but it’s all for naught now. R.I.P. MLW.

L8.

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For more interesting (?) reading, click here.

Be sure to visit EdWolf for all of your (non-video) gaming needs and also Rehab Radio for some ‘net surfing music.