wrestling / Video Reviews
The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (3.2.1994)
Loading...Originally aired March 26, 1994.
-We’re in Dungannon, VA.
-Your hosts are Bob Caudle & Dutch Mantell. Mike Sampson gets pulled for Beat the Champ.
WELL DUNN vs JASON WEST & BOBBY BLAZE
-The wire from last week’s discount ladder match is apparently going to be there through this entire TV taping.
-West shoulderblocks Well down. Well comes to life, but takes time out for a water break with his partner. Dunn tags in and gets a belly-to-belly on West. Dunn connects in the corner with a spinning heel kick. Double DDT finishes West off.
-We go back to last week, with the Dirtywhites ripping Brian Lee’s clothes off. Bob Caudle is live with the happy couple, who have the shredded remains of Brian Lee’s clothes.
BEAT THE CHAMP TV TITLE: MIKE FURNAS (Champion) vs MIKE SAMPSON
-Football tackle finishes Sampson in seconds. They need to bring Mike Furnas out of retirement to face Brock Lesnar.
-Bob Armstrong hypes the upcoming Loser-Leaves-Town match. Pretty funny, the gist of it is he’s taking the Rock & Roll Express’ word for it that they’re retire if they lose, but he actually made Cornette put it on paper, and he promises the SMW fans that the losers really will no-fooling leave the territory. He veers into his match against Cornette’s mystery man and promises to face any opponent Cornette offers him, even if it’s “Oka Zuma.”
-Cornette storms out. He says that Armstrong’s promo proves that the entire wrestling establishment is against him. April 1, Bob Armstrong’s opponent MAY be Abdullah the Butcher or Kevin Sullivan, or it may be someone meaner, someone tougher, someone that Armstrong has never heard of.
-The Thrillseekers lift weights. There are two women waiting for them when they get to their hotel room, and both of them give “The Office” shrugs at the camera before going in there.
-We hear from USWA promoter Eddie Marlin, who offers a spot in his company to whoever loses the Loser-Leaves-Town match. VINCE MCMAHON shows up and says he’s going to be watching the Bluegrass Brawl closely and that either team is welcome in the WWF. Vince calls Jim Cornette “a cross between Rhett Butler , Red Barber, Colonel Sanders, and Ted Turner,” which is the goddamn weirdest insult I’ve heard so far in 2017 and will probably hang onto that title for a while.
-Heavenly Bodies are here, and they promise not to let Jim Cornette’s mama down.
DOWN AND DIRTY WITH DUTCH
-Dutch is with the Rock & Roll Express. Ricky Morton does an awesome promo here, as the idea of losing his career in a wrestling match has him so emotional that he says he has trouble articulating it, so he had to write everything he wanted to say before he came out here. Ricky pulls out some notebook paper and reads his entire promo from the notebook paper while trying not to cry, and you can hear a pin drop in the building as he’s cutting this promo. That’s fantastic. Robert Gibson gets so upset that he has to walk away for a few seconds to collect himself before promising to do his best.
-We go back to last week to see Tracy Smothers getting beaten with a ladder by Chris Candido. We go to footage of a house show rematch where a fan in the front row is almost accidentally killed by a wayward ladder. Smothers says they’ve been going about 50/50 at the house shows, but the one that REALLY counts is that match at the Bluegrass Brawl. Because.
-Darryl Van Horne gleefully announces that Prince Kharis has signed an SMW Heavyweight Title match. He’s had Kharis in heavy training for the match, by having him watch snuff films inside an opium den to get him ready for the bout.
DIRTY WHITE BOY (SMW Heavyweight Champion, with Dirty White Girl) vs KILLER KYLE
-White Boy gets the advantage early until Kyle goes to the eyes. DWB comes back with an uppercut that sends Kyle straight out to the floor. Back in, Mark Curtis gets bumped and here comes Brian Lee to interfere. DWB sees him coming and hits the Bucksnort Blaster. He gets on top of Lee for a pin as Mark Curtis starts to come around, and Curtis is so dazed from the bump that he doesn’t notice it’s Brian Lee, so he actually counts the pin.
ROCK & ROLL EXPRESS vs INFERNOS
-As the match starts, Jim Cornette suddenly shows up with “that $250 that I owe you,” and Dutch suddenly remembers he has to go make a phone call.
-Infernos get double-teamed for a spell while Cornette only promises that he expects this match to get a little more interesting. Double dropkick finishes as Brian Lee & Chris Candido suddenly show up to attack the Rock & Roll Express. Express actually hold their own and the Express clamps on simultaneous figure fours, but Tammy puts a stop to that with her loaded purse. Actually, I would have had the Infernos unmask before the match ended to reveal the Heavenly Bodies to make this 5-on-2. But, you know, I wasn’t there.
