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It’s-a me…TONY! My fingers are still green from last night, and the amount of green beer I poured yesterday should be outlawed. Aside from that, I’d say I’m about as ready for RAW as I’ll ever be!
Cody Rhodes and his dumb ass dog showed up earlier.
We start RAW live with Jey Uso YEETING his way into our heart.
Jey knows The Bloodline is here, so he calls them out. Out come Jimmy Uso and Solo Sikoa.
Jimmy enters the ring slowly as Jey scans him up and down. They go face to face in the middle of the ring. Jimmy sizes him up, then the crowd chants for USO. Jey says they always get into it and shake right back, but this feels a little different. Regardless of the bad blood, he misses Jimmy. He does. Say what you want, they don’t talk no more, ride with him, or see him anymore. Just come back. Come back to him.
Jimmy says he never left Jey, he protected Jey. Jey’s so dumb he cant see it. It was Jey’s idea to leave The Bloodline, but he helped because he’s the brother. So he leaves, and what happens? Lil Bro goes off to be the biggest star on the RAW roster, becomes the top merch seller, goes off and becomes tag team champions without Jimmy. Who left who? Everything Jey did big is because of big bro. Listen loud and clear. His biggest moment of Jey’s career is because of Jimmy.
No, his biggest moment of his career will be at Mania 40, whne he knocks the Yeet out Jimmy’s ass.
Jey gives Jmmy a right, attacks Solo on the apron, then turns into a Superkick. Solo enters, grabs Jey, and locks his arms up. Jimmy grabs him by the chin, screams some shit talk, and here comes
Cody Rhodes. Jimmy meets him at the bottom of the ramp, right hand, enters the ring. Cody Cutter to Solo! Solo leaves the ring. Cody checks on Jey and helps him stand under the Mania sign.
We are backstage with Adam Pearce, who is seemingly yelling at Aldis. Here comes Paul Heyman to say that he owes Pearce an apology. The attack was not authorized by The Rock or by Roman. There have been flights delayed all day. He’s not even dressed to be here, he doesn’t even have makeup. Jimmy and Solo came on a different plane. Jimmy and Solo are gone, out for the night. He has Reigns’ word. Heyman is here on official business. He will handle that, then he will be gone for the night as well.
But when he does his business, everyone will be caught off guard. And that’s a spoiler.
#DIY vs The Creed Brothers
We start with Ciampa and Julius. They get some mat wrestling then Ciampa backs him into the ropes and chops him hard. Julius shoots for the legs, picks the ankle, gets in a lock, but Ciampa gets to th ropes. Kick from Julius. Ciampa rolls outside. He comes back in, and Julius gets a quick fireman’s carry takedown. Tag to Brutus. He arm drags Ciampa and holds on. Front fae lock, then waist lock, Ciampa gets a headlock, releases and hits a right hand. Brutus hits one of his own, lifts up, whip to the orpres, misses a right, Gargano with a tag. They go back and forth with some moves finally dropping Brutus then hitting an assisted blockbuster to the incoming Julius. They dive over the top rope to the outside onto the brothers as we go to break.
We are BACK from break and Julius eats an elbow from Ciampa. Drop toe hold by Ciampa, but Jules kicks him away and tags in Brutus who drops Ciamap, then dorps Gargano. He does the same to Ciampa. Both men in the corner. Brutus crawls then splashes the corner, locks the waist, rolls Ciampa up for a pin, then grabs Gargano and hits a Northern Lights while still having Ciampa stacked. 1..2..NO!!! They double team Ciampa once, twice, then cover for 1..2.NO!!! Ciampa wih a throat thrust. Ciampa tugs at the ear, but JUliusvlooks to suplex Ciampa, only he’s seated! HE STANDS TALL!!! HOLY SHIT! BRUTUS COMES IN, grabs Gargano. SUPLEX FROM BOTH! KIP UP! Standing moonsaults from both!!! Julius gets the cover for 1..2…NO!!! Tag to Brutus. He knees Ciampa into a knee from Julius, then they lift him and drops Ciampa onto some knees. Tag to Julius. Tag to Brutus after Julius corners Ciampa. They try for the Brutus Ball but Gargano is here to stop the move. Gargano tries for. Standing blockbuster but Brutus is there to catch him, Julius runs with a knee to the face of Gargano!
Outside the ring, Brutus with a pounce, sending Ciampa over the table! Julius runs out to celebrate wit Brutus and Pat McAfee.
Back from another break, and Gargano is in control. He hits a spear off the apron into the ring and covers jules for 1.2…NO!!! Gargano corners Julius. He lifts Jules up onto the buckle, tags in Ciampa. Chop to the chest, Gargano with a suicide dive to Brutus outside. Ciampa climbs, chops again, gets Jules to his shoulders then hits a White Noise from the 2nd rope! Cover! 1….2….NO!!! A chop to Julius, again, a third. Julius wants more! He drops the straps! They go back and forth with hard rights then a slugfest starts. Ciampa spins for a punch, but Julius headbutts the stomach then gets an ankle lock! Gargano in! Kick from Julius, he lifts Gargano and powerbombs him down hard! Ankle lock back on Ciampa! In comes Brutus! Ankle Lock to Gargano! Ciampa looks to tap! But he and Gargano reverse and they each get their own submission!!!! Crowd is alive! But Creed Bros escape! They shoulder their respective opponents then launch Gargano and Ciampa into one another!!! Moonsault to Julius, one from Brutus! COVER! 1..2……NO!!!! HOLY SHIT!
Tag to Julius! He gets Ciampa up top! Brutus to the top rope! Brutus B—-NO!!!!! Ciampa with a rollup!! 1..2….NO!!! Brutus reverses the roll! 1..2…NO!!! Gargano in to kick the rollup back in favor of Ciampa! 1..2…3!!!!
Winners: #DIY
A bit of a slow start, picking up steam in the second third with moments that were supposed to be impressive but came off a bit too choreographed, and a solid third that tied it all together. I wish a rollup isn’t what ended it, but here we are.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 18:28
Backstage, The Judgment Day is with Andrade. Dominik and Rhea Ripley let him know that things have changed, and they’re in charge now. Andrade will have to impress them, because the club is exclusive. Finn Balor says Andrade has a match next week, and Andrade says he’ll see Finn then. Damien Priest comes in and he and Andrade have a moment. Priest talks about DIY winning. He then points out that JD sucked last week. Ricochet made a fool out of him last week. Tonight, Dominik will make things right by beating Ricochet.
Dom wants to go talk to Pearce to make it official.
Candice LeRae and Indi Hartwell vs Kayden Carter and Kitana Chance
We go over evil Candice’s prior week before watching her beat down on the back of Kayden. A cover gets 1. She tries for a senton, but Kayden rolls out th wy and tags in Kitana. Tag to Indi, who misses a back fist. Dropkick corners Indi. She rushes the corner with a Miz clothesline. Chance flips out and tweaks her knee. Ref holds Indi back as Kayden checks on her. Candice wants a tag. Ref checks on her. Blind tag from Candice. Running baseball slide to Kayden, then she grabs Chance’s boot and swings her leg into the ring post.
Candice grabs the leg, gets. Submission, and Chance taps immediately, getting the win.
Winners: Indi Hartwell and Cnadice LeRae
This turn is going to be rough due to the awkward and out of nowhere complete character alteration last week. I hope it’s something they can rectify. This neither helped nor hurt.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 1:56
Indi looks concerned, unsure about the win, while Candice hops around happily, mocking Chance and her leg injury.
Recap of The Rock doin what Rock does.
We come back to Cody Rhodes getting all the love.
He says that in less than three weeks’ time, he will stand opposed in the main event of Mania, challenging for the title yet again, against Roman Reigns.
This Friday, he and Roman will have a little conversation. But, there are complications. Namely, The Rock. The Rock took to Instagram, then followed u with a Rock concert. Too bad he didn’t want to be here tonight. Something he took from IG, he referred to himself as “Our Favorite Heel.” That means he’s the bad guy, right? He’s known some heels – Heenan, Arn, Flair. He doesn’t think Rock is a heel, he just thinks he’s an asshole. There’s no crying in wrestling, Jimmy, but hasn’t The Rock been crying behind the scenes the whole time? Didn’t he cry to TKO, saying he needs to save WWE. TKO told him yes, yes, yes, because they are yes people, enablers, and don’t tell Rock like it is, so Cody will.
The Rock is a lot of things, a lot of wonderful things – The Great One. The only guy that cody will ever stand with in the ring who belongs on Mount Rushmore, but he is also a whiny bitch. Please don’t think for two seconds that this locker room needs Rock more than he needs it. He brought up his mom, making it fair game. Ok.
Cody: “I know your mom.”
Cody calls her a wonderful lady, he has nothing but respect for his mom. Something Rock should do the same. He talked about whipping Cody, and Rock thought she’d cower and tremble. She’s not afraid of anything. She isn’t afraid of The Rock. He has been asked how he will get passed all of them. Will it be a fair fight? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know if he’ll finish the story. But what does The Rock know? How can he be so sure of his own self. He keeps forgetting that he hasn’t been in the ring in years, and April 6, the bell will ring, and what happens then? Will The Great One show up? Will it be Big Dwayne Energy? Or will it be LDS? Little Dick Syndrome?
Rock has referred to himself as The Final Boss. Kudos to Gerwitz for the name. Maybbe Cody is too naïve to see this to be true, but at Mania, he doesn’t think Rock will be the final boss, he’ll just be Roman’s sidechick.
Paul Heyman!!!! is here!
Hey wonders if Cody hates it when someone comes out to demand an apology? Not that Cody did that, but Heyman has one for him. He came out here a few weeks ago with the PD, and that was dumb on his end. The plan didn’t work, and it was plain dumb. For that, he is sorry.
Cody didn’t want an apology, but he offers Heyman permission to step in the ring. Heyman thanks him, but he is fine on the apron. He carries a message from Roman. Cody can think anything of Heyman he wants, he’s not a trustworthy individual, but Reigns is a man of his word. This Friday, Reigns will go face to face with Cody. When this happens, there will not be a single other member of The Bloodline in sight except for Heyman, and he is no threat.
Cody says deal.
One more thing, says Heyman. If Reigns shows up alone on Friday, then Rhodes shows up alone, too.
Cody says deal. They shake on it.
Well that took forever…
Nia Jax promo about breaking faces and taking places.
Ricochet vs Dominik Mysterio
My coverage starts after the commercial break. We’re about five minutes in and Dom bounces Ricochet off the top rope. Face plant to Ric and a cover for 1..2.NO!!! Dom kicks Ric a few times. Dom tries for the Three Amigos, but after the first one, Ricochet reverses, hits his own suplex, then hits a high kick to the head. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Cole calls Ric “quick as a Puma.” Nice. Ric kicks high, then heads to the top rope! They’re really pressing the Puma thing. He rolls through as Dom rolls out of the way. Big kick to Dom, a springboard kick to JD on the apron.
Dropkick from Dom, he tries for 619, RECOIL to Dom! Cover! 1.2…..3!!!!
Winner: Ricochet
About half of the match was during the break, bu Ricochet getting a win is better than Dom getting it.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 7:17
JD tries to attack but Ric walks up his body and flips outside. Bad ass. Know what else is bad ass….?
Backstage, Sami Zayn walks up to Chad Gable to thank him for taking him to the limit last week. They get into ana argument as Sami takes offense to Gable thinking his quest for the title is more important and Gable says it’s not about that. Sami wonders what it’s about, then, and Gable says Sami cannot beat Gunther then walks away.
We come back to Pearce in the ring, getting ready for a contract signing.
Sami is announced first, then Gunther.
Gunther wants to establish what this is, the biggest and most important contract signing for the biggest and most important match in the history of the title, so why is Sami dressed like a bum, like everyone in the audience?
Sami points out his smug smile, and how it’s starting to piss him off. This isn’t just another day at the office. Respect to Gunther, he’s beaten everyone, and done it on his own. He doesn’t think Sami can do it. A lot of people didnt believe in him at many points in his career. He will end the longest IC title reign of all time.
Sami leaves.
Gunther tells Sami he should listen to his new friend Chad Gable. People love him, but we don’t believe that he can beat Gunther. Sami needs to be honest with himself – not even he thinks he can beat Gunther. What Sami is doing is standing on his doorstep begging him to receive the beating of a life time. SO whatever Sami needs to do, dream, believe, keep doing it. Come Mania, his dreams will meet reality.
Gunther signs.
He goes to leave, but Sami tells him to wait. Gunther doesn’t see belief in his eyes?
Sami stands, gets in Gunther’s face, and tells him to look again. Get a good, long look because he is looking into the eyes of the man who will take him down at Mania.
Sami leaves.
Sami is walking in a straight line, focused, backstage. The Miz and R-Truth are with #DIY. The Miz tells Truth that type of focus is how they need to be. Indus Sher walk by, scowling. Truth tells Miz he’d hate to be the guys facing them.
The Miz tells #DIY he’ll let him know.
WE follow them through Gorilla to the stage where Truth starts his entrance rap, and they rap to the ring.
The Awesome Truth vs Indus Sher
Miz starts off with Sanga. Some basic wrestling with tags until Truth gets the hot one, then goes full Cena. Five Knuckle Shuffle gets the crowd hyped as Jinder watches unamused. Truth tries for an AA, but Veer slinks off. Truth with an STF! In comes Sanga. Miz fights him away, but that boy is HUGE! Good God. Whip to the mig guy, and a double dropkick sends him into the ropes. Veer up, Miz with a Full Nelson and gets a Flatliner/Skull Crushing Finale combo. Miz dropkicks Jinder.
Sanga hits a back elbow to Truth, falls onto Veer, and gets the 1..2….3!!!
Winners: The Awesome Truth
Nothing to write home about, but also what more would you want/expect?
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 3:10
Backstage, DREW MCINTYRE IS WALKING!
CM Punk returns to RAW next week. We also get some video of him saying he’ll be at Mania in some way, shape, or form.
DREW IS STILL WALKING!
He makes his entrance and before he can even get all the way down t he ramp, Seth Rollins has his music play, and he follows Drew down into the ring.
Seth apologizes, says he didn’t even see Drew, sorry.
Drew tells Seth to enjoy the spotlight, because after mania, it’s all his.
Seth says he doesn’t like Drew, he thinks he’s stupid and thinks he’s a hypocrite, bute he wants to admit that one thing he said is absolutely correct and he wanted to do it to his face.
The first step to recovery is the hardest, so give him some time, it’s going to be difficult. His name is Seth Freakin Rollins, and he’s a spotlight junkie.
The crowd tries to start a what chant for Drew, and he says each time they say What it just means they’re happy for him injuring Punk. They try to get a punk chant, but Drew recovers well.
Seth tells Drew to shut his trap. He loves this shit, all of it. It gets better every single time. The people singing his song, the rush he gets in the ring. This is his fix. Drew has been too busy making memes, not listening.
Night One of Mania, he takes the biggest star Hollywood and his side chick and make them his bitches.
Night Two, the biggest spotlight possible will be shined down on him, Drew, and the title.
All hail our savior, says Drew. He wants this passion, not the laugh and dance and outfits. He had Drew, they’ve given their lives to this industry, and that’s what the title is all about. The wrestler’s title, the workhorse championship. He had Drew until he mentioned the spotlight? Why cant it just be about hard work? Why cant that be the reason? Seth’s priorities are all wrong. He doesn’t care about the BS now. Just make it to the ring, and if he cant walk, he’ll get wheeled down. He’ll even carry Seth down. He wont get the moment he deserves, he’ll get the moment he earned.
Seth says Drew won the title in an empty warehouse, and all we’ve heard is how that wasn’t good enough. That Drew deserves better and more, but when the lights got bright again, what happened? Drew fumbled the ball. That’s the difference between them two. When the lights are the brightest, Seth shines. At Mania 40, the lights will be as bright as they have ever been, and Drew will find out he’s not as good as he thinks he is.
Becky Lynch is sitting backstage and she wants us to know that all she knows is taking risk, is fighting, and tonight she will be the last woman standing.
The New Day vs The Alpha Academy (Otis and Akira Tozawa)
Otis and Woods to start. He shoves his stomach into the head of Woods. Again. He hits the ropes and runs with a knee. Otis tags in Akira. Kick from Woods. He works the wrist, tags in Kofi, double whip and Akira kicks, right hand to Kofi, kick to Woods sending him outside. Kofi sends him into the corner, Akira kicks out, rana off the top rope. Akira with a suicide dive to New Day!
We come back to Otis trucing through Kofi. Big elbow to Kofi, Woods comes in, hits the ropes, big clothesline to Woods! Damn. Kofi flies, Otis catches him and hits a huge slam! Otis rips the shirt, then calls for the caterpillar. He goes for it, hits it! Cover! 1..2….N!O!!! Tag to Akira, he tries for a cover. Kofi tags in Woods, who comes in with a DDT to Akira! Cover! 1..2…NO!!! Woods to the top rope. Akira is up too, attacks the mid. Woods locks the head, Akira tries for a superplex, but Woods gets Akira on his shoulders. Akira spins with a ranaa, sends Woods flying off the top! Akira to the top rope! He rips his shirt! HUGE SENTON OFF THE TOP! COVER! 1..2…NO!!!! Geeeez Akira got high. Kofi breaks the pin uP! Otis drags Kofi out, sends him to the steps, Kofi steps off of them and hits a tornado DDT! Akira kicks him off the apron, Woods tries for a clothesline, Akira ducks under, hits the ropes, tries for a rana but Woods hits a powerbomb!
Woods to the top rope! He flies with an elbow drop!!!! COVER! 1..2…..3!!!
Winners: The New Day
Another match that lacked drama and was divided by a break, but still entertaining.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 9:29
Liv Morgan comes up to Becky to tell her that tonight she has Nia all to herself.
Backstage, Cody is walking his dog. Here comes Seth to question his decision for Friday. Cody says yup, one on one.
Last Woman Standing Match
Becky Lynch vs Nia Jax
Nia is quicky sent out of the ring in hilarious fashion. Becky dropkicks her then flies off the apron with a fist. Becky climbs back up and flies off but Nia ducks under, lifts up and bangs Becky into the post. She does it again, this time to the barricade.Ref starts a count and gets to 4. Becky stands, and Nia drops her down again. Ref to 5, and Becky stands, pulling herself up with the edge of the barricade.
We are back and Becky is trying to set a table up outsid the ring. Nia grabs her and sends her into the ring then tries to set up the same table. The table seems to buckle and collapse, so Nia grabs a bunch of chairs and sends them all into the ring. Becky grabs one of the chairs as Nia realizes the table is broken. She enters the ring and Becky hits her with a chair, again to the ack. She tries for The Manhandle Slam. Nia stops it, fireman’s. SAMOAN DROP ONTO THE PILE OF CHAIRS!
The ref starts the count as Nia stands. He gets to 7 and Becky is up. Nia sets up a chair, Becky with a sleeper! Nia bashes her into the corner a few times. Becky with a bulldog to the chair! Nia is up, grabs a chair, and attacks Becky with it a few times. She grabs a kendo stick, another, and sends those into the ruing. She attacks the back of Becky a few times. Nia with a body slam onto the chairs. Ref with the count. Gets to 6. Nia grabs a chair, attacks the back, then sets the chair up on Becky and sits on the chair. The ref starts the count, but Becky reaches for a kendo stick and attacks with it. Nia stands, Becky stands, and she swings over and over until Nia runs away out of the ring. Becky follows and Nia hits a sloppy clothesline. Nia goes for the steps. She grabs the top one, and hits Becky right in the face. Nia on the apron, goes for a leg drop, lands on her ass.
Becky grabs a table as the ref starts the count for Nia. She is up at 7 as Becky slides the table into the ring.
We come back from a break and Becky hits the fire extinguisher spot, chasing Nia around the ring. She attacks the mid section, then the back, with the extinguisher. Nia crawls into the ring, the table is set up against the corner. Becky runs, and Nia catches her. Samoan Drop through the table! Nia drags Becky to the corner and hits the ANIAlator. Becky, unable to stand, but still able to roll, rolls out of the ring and lands on her feet, breaking the count. Nia follows and talks some shit to Becky by the steps.She shoulders Becky then walks up the steps onto the apron. There is a table set up below. Becky elbows out of the hold over and over and over. She sets up for Manhandle Slam. HITS IT! THROUGH THE TABLE! The ref starts the count. Ref hits 8 and Nia starts to stir!!! Nia is up at 9!!!
Becky walks up a ladder as Nia stumbles across the barricade. She ends up falling onto the announce table just as Becky flies off with a leg drop through the table!!! The ref hits 10! Becky wins!
Winner: Becky Lynch
I’m sorry, but I did NOT enjoy this at all. Nia just aint it.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 18:30
Just as the match ends, Rhea Ripley’s music hits, and she comes down with a smile. Her and Becky have a staredown to end the show.
End Show
