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Death Kiss Review
Loading...Death Kiss Review
Robert “Bronzi” Kovacs– The Stranger
Eva Hamilton– Ana
Daniel Baldwin– Dan Forthright
Richard Tyson– Tyrell
Stormi Maya– Tanya
Leia Perez– Isabel
Directed by Rene Perez
Screenplay by Rene Perez
Distributed by Uncork’d Entertainment
Not Rated
Runtime– 87 minutes
https://www.facebook.com/DeathKissMovie/
Death Kiss, written and directed by Rene Perez, is a low budget action revenge flick starring Robert “Bronzi” Kovacs, a guy that really, really, really looks like the legendary Charles “Big Chuck” Bronson. In fact, I’d imagine that the only reason the movie exists is because Kovacs looks like Bronson. Death Kiss isn’t a bad low budget action flick. It isn’t necessarily a good one, either. It’s a solid piece of entertainment that could have used a simpler story (there’s an unnecessary mystery at the heart of the plot that, on paper, is cool, but in practice is just too convoluted).
So what the heck is Death Kiss about? Kovacs plays a guy named The Stranger, a guy in a suit and trenchcoat who walks around an unnamed, crime infested city, blowing away random bad guys. Child rapists, human traffickers, drug runners, and any and all other scumbags are fair game for the Stranger’s .44 magnum. When he isn’t walking the streets, killing bad guys, or hanging out in a decrepit apartment that has a busted window, the Stranger is keeping an eye on Ana (Eva Hamilton), a single mother who lives out in the country and has a young daughter, Isabel (Leia Perez), in a wheelchair. The Stranger sends Ana envelopes of money that he steals from the bad guys that he kills, which she accepts (and why wouldn’t she? She’s broke as fuck and needs the money). Ana does wonder where the money comes from, though. Why would someone send her all of this money?
One day, Ana ends up meeting the Stranger and tries to find out what his deal is and why he keeps sending her money. The Stranger doesn’t give up any information, at least at first. They keep meeting throughout the movie and, eventually, we find out what the Stranger’s deal is. It’s kind of touching. The bit where the Stranger teaches Ana how to use a shotgun is kind of touching, too, but not in the same way.
Now, while all of that is going on, the Stranger is also trying to take down a vicious biker gang run by a douchebag named Tyrell (the great Richard Tyson). Tyrell likes to watch people get beaten to death with baseball bats, among other horrible things (he also likes to cover people in barbecue sauce, tie them to trees out in the woods, and attract wolves and bears and shit to eat them). And while the Stranger does all of that, Daniel Baldwin shows up every now and then as Dan Forthright, a right wing radio host that delivers stirring speeches about why it’s okay to kill criminals. I don’t know if you’ll be surprised how Forthright figures into the bigger story, but I was. I didn’t think Forthright would have anything to do with anything. I thought he would just show up, talk, and provide some justification for what the Stranger was doing, just in case the audience wasn’t totally behind what the Stranger was doing. Forthright provides way more than that.
The action scenes are generally good. There are no real show stopper scenes, no real set piece moments, but they all work and are somewhat exciting. I do wish some of the shootouts were more thought out, but then I’d suspect that Perez and company just didn’t have the time to do more elaborate stunts and whatnot. The CGI blood that appears in the movie looks good, though. The movie also has a dark and sleazy atmosphere throughout most of its running time, which is hard to do with digital film. The scenes where the Stranger is walking the streets are disturbing because, really, who the hell would want to live in this city? It’s a terrible place.
Kovacs does a good job as the Bronson like Stranger. He doesn’t have the same charisma or acting skill as the real Big Chuck, but he’s good enough to do what he has to do here. He looks scary and imposing in his trenchcoat and wielding his .44 magnum, he knows how to strike the stoic pose of a sad killer, and he’s a champ in the action and fighting scenes he has to do. Kovacs also knows how to wear a knit hat like Bronson did in Death Wish II. Kovacs’s voice, which is dubbed, is ridiculous. I get why he’s dubbed, but Perez couldn’t find a better voice to use? Again, the voice used for Kovacs is ridiculous. I hope that Death Kiss isn’t the last time we see Kovacs as a Bronson type character in a movie.
Eva Hamilton does a nice job as Ana, the single mother trying to figure out what the Stranger is all about. I’m not sure if I totally buy the bit where she tries to seduce the Stranger (at no point does the Stranger give off a “I’m doing this because I want to bang you” vibe, so why would she show him her breasts?), but she reacts in a believable way most of the time in a situation that’s kind of insane.
Richard Tyson brings on the sleaze as biker gang leader Tyrell. He makes the guy so despicable you can’t wait to see him get his comeuppance, and, man does he ever. I’ve been a fan of Tyson’s since I saw him on the short lived NBC show Hardball back in the late 1980’s (and who could ever forget him as bully Buddy Revell in Three O’Clock High?) so it’s always a treat to see him in anything. I wonder how many more awful bad guys he has in him in his career?
And Daniel Baldwin is hilarious as right wing radio host Dan Forthright. Baldwin clearly relishes his scenes, which consist of him sitting in a dank room and talking into a microphone about killing criminals. I’d love to see the outtakes for these scenes and see how many times he messed up the various speeches, as some of them are pretty complicated. And did he make any of them up on his own? That should be a special feature on the eventual DVD.
Death Kiss is a fairly entertaining low budget action flick. It isn’t as good as any of the Charles Bronson movies it’s trying to ape, but it’s a good start to what could be a terrific series of Bronson like revenge movies. I’m totally on board if writer/director Rene Perez wants to do something like that. And Robert “Bronzi” Kovacs is awesome. He needs a better voice dub guy, but other than that he has a bright future ahead of him if this “Bronson-like” series works out.
See Death Kiss. See it, see it, see it.
So what do we have here?
Dead bodies: At least 20.
Explosions: None.
Nudity?: Yes, and it’s not bad.
Doobage: A fat guy smoking, cigarette lighting, gun to the back of the head, a child crying, fat guy killing, getting the mail, money counting, robbing dead criminals, multiple blood geysers, gold watch and necklace burning, gut punch, a lack of interest in domestic abuse, tea, woman menacing, blatant racism, a baseball bat beating, some serious bondage, rape, a threat to shove gasoline down a guy’s throat and setting his guts on fire, a guy trying to shoot everyone in a room, a shootout and a chase, machine gun hooey, slow motion running, using a car door as armor, bullet to the dick, a fire, a fat ex-wife, some gardening, lunch, a how to use a shotgun montage, exploding soda bottles, an old picture, a hidden dumpster gun, a restaurant robbery, a soccer field murder, attempted seduction, tree bondage, a shootout in the woods, rock throwing, more tree bondage, barbecue sauce hooey, and multiple instances of badass walking in slow motion.
Kim Richards?: Almost, implied, and off screen.
Gratuitous: A guy who really, really, really looks like Charles Bronson, sickening talk of child prostitutes, Daniel Baldwin, Daniel Baldwin playing a right wing radio host, Charles Bronson guy dressed in a suit like in the first Death Wish movie, Richard Tyson, cherry pudding, slow motion running, healthy food, Ray Ban sunglasses, a how to use a shotgun in slow motion montage, a hidden dumpster gun, barbecue sauce, and a wardrobe homage to Death Wish II.
Best lines: “You here for… cheese pizza? Yeah,” “Do you know what a keister bunny is?,” “Run,” “I’m just a delivery guy,” “It’s just a gift,” “My daughter and I call you the fairy godmother,” “Good tea. Thanks,” “I do some questionable things, and giving you money helps me even things out. I should go,” “Hey, come on, boss, you cut this guy’s dick off I’m gonna be sick,” “I’m a stone cold killer,” “I’ll fucking kill him. I don’t know him,” “You’ve seen my face,” “Fucking whore. Fucking dirty ass whore,” “Now I can believe you,” “Clean? A pressure washer couldn’t get you clean,” “I know you’re out there,” “I didn’t want to leave this in your mailbox,” “Do you have a big dog?,” “Is that a keyboard case?,” “For your coyote,” “I think I understand,” “If you know what I do you’ll never want to see me again,” “Cops haven’t grabbed you yet?,” “This should do the trick. Bye, bye, Beaver,” “It’s you. What the fuck?,” “Remember the first time?,” and “No law. Justice.”
