wrestling / TV Reports

411’s NWA TNA Report 10.15.03

October 15, 2003 | Posted by Jack Daniels


— Hey fellas, Jack Daniels, TNA recapper here. My hobbies include eating cookies, ogling babes, and setting nursing homes ablaze with supernatural lightning.

— And I start laughing my ass off as during the pregame show, the audio from the director mic checks and dark matches go over the air for a good two minutes. I’m sorry, but shit like that has NOTHING to do with the switch to HDTV or any type of other technical problems. That’s just incompetence, pure and simple. Do you think shit like this would be happening on WWE pay-per-views on a regular basis?

— I’d also like to take the opportunity to thank all those people who have written in with their support. I can still count you on two hands, but it’s still heartwarming, and I’m gratified. My goal is to get the feedback from my reports up above the amount of porn spam I receive on a daily basis. A daunting task, I know, but within the realm of possibility.

— By the way, if you happen to write a flame, and it consists of nothing more than “you suck,” from now on, don’t expect a response. If you have a legitmate gripe about the way I do my recap and wish to bring it to my attention, or have an idea on how I can improve it, that’s cool. Otherwise, the delete key on my keyboard works just fine, thank you.

— Last but not least, I _will_ be flipping to the Cubs game at certain points during this broadcast. And I _will_ be cheering for the Cubs. And there’s not a damn thing you can do to stop me. No obligatory football cursing, though, because the Bills are beyond help.

— And we’re LIVE from the TNA Asylum in Nashville, TN and my three room hole in Buffalo, NY, respectively. Lots of interesting stuff on the docket tonight, so here we go!

— We open with a recap of the Jarrett/Dusty/Styles stuff, then the Redshirt security hijinx, then the Raven/New Church stuff, then the Styles vs. Dusty match, which was the atrocity we expected, for the most part.

— Yanks/Sox is still on, Boston with a 9-6 lead.

— We finish the opening package with Dusty making his six-man tag challenge and Russo and Styles going after Jarrett.

— And it looks like they kept the same dancers from last week, which pleases me mightily. Don West wearing a midnight blue tonight, for those who have money riding on it. They open talking about the Jarrett/Hogan stuff from Japan. Apparently, Hogan drew 47,000 to the Tokyo Dome and pinned Masa Chono. Jarrett bloodied Hogan in the post-match press conference, and we’re going to see the video footage later.

— West runs down the card. Raven vs. Slash, Christopher Daniels vs. Michael Shane, AMW/Rhodes vs. Siaki/Ekmo/Russo, Erik Watts vs. Kevin Northcutt, Kid Kash vs. Abyss.

— And we cut to the back, and Raven dragging Father James Mitchell into the Asylum by the neck with a dog collar, and he’s going to try to hang Mitchell from the balcony. New Church minus Synn makes the save quickly and gain the upper hand with some trash can shots, and FOR THE PISSING PUKING LOVE OF GOD! Slash puts Raven through a table with a chain-assisted elbow from the balcony! The Gathering makes the save, and all four men get to the ring and start brawling.

— Cut to Hudson with Russo. Joe E. Legend has returned, and is taking Russo’s place in the six-man, because Russo has business elsewhere. AJ is confused, as usual.

— Six-man tag match: Sonny Siaki, Ekmo and Joe E. Legend with Trinity America’s Most Wanted and Dusty Rhodes: Dusty comes out with his knee taped. Dusty is a little peeved at Russo not being there, and it’s Siaki and Harris to start. The heels calling for Dusty to start, and the crowd giving a Dusty chant. Dusty tagged in to start, lock up and a quick bionic elbow. Dusty pounding on Siaki on the ropes, irish whip and another elbow. Arm wringer on Siaki and a tag to Storm, elbow to the shoulder, then Harris, then Storm, etc., etc., until Storm gets the arm wringer, Siaki tosses Storm, but Storm avoids an attack from Ekmo, dumps Siaki onto Ekmo, then jumps on both. Legend and Harris in the ring, Siaki and Ekmo pull down the ropes and double team him outside. Harris rolled in by the heels for two. Legend with some Raw 2 stomps for another 2 count. Tag to Ekmo and a running leaping forearm gets two. Ekmo baits Dusty so Siaki can hit a rolling kick for 2. Harris trying to battle out of the heel corner and gets a sunset flip, but Ekmo gets tagged in and leg drops Harris for two. Harris tries to fight out, but Ekmo pulls him down by the hair and tag in Legend. Suplex for 2. Legend with a headlock, and Harris gets out with a couple of elbows and hits a SWEET flying lariat, and Storm gets the hot tag and starts cleaning house. All six men in now and brawling. Storm gets dumped by Siaki and Ekmo, but Dusty gets Bionic Elbows on Ekmo and Siaki, and tries to get a figure four on Legend, but Ekmo jumps him, and he tries to go up top but gets pushed out by Harris. Action breaks down, leaving AMW and Legend in the ring. Death Sentence gets 3! WINNERS: America’s Most Wanted and Dusty Rhodes.

— Another Shane Douglas promo. Apparently his open call for Franchise level talent yielded two hot babes.

— Cut to Hudson with Michael Shane. Shane says no one in the X-Division can beat him, and he wanted a parade, but instead he got a match with Christopher Daniels. Shane says he will prove no one in the X-Division can beat him.

— X-Division Title Match: Christopher Daniels w/HUD Home-level Brood vs. Michael Shane (c): Michael Shane comes out with both the X-Division title and the Super X Cup trophy. Tenay puts over Shane as the ultimate opportunist. “Fallen Angel” chant. Lockups to start, Shane works Daniels into the corner, Daniels ducks a forearm and start pounding on Shane until Shane gets an eye poke. Daniels with a headlock, and uses the hair to hold up, Daniels flips out of a back suplex attempt and a hair pull gets 2. Shane fights back and starts pounding on Daniels in the corner. Daniels reverses and hits a _huge_ chop. Crescent kick gets 2. And Shane Douglas is scouting the match. Daniels dumps Shane, but Shane takes control outside and hits a slingshot senton plancha to the outside. Daniels with an elbow, hits a nice Asai moonsault bodyblock to the floor! Douglas is as impressed as I am. Back in the ring, Daniels in control until Shane throws Daniels shoulder into the ringpost and Shane goes to town on the shoulder. Daniels’ left arm is just totally limp, he tries to mount a comeback, but Shane cuts it off. Daniels blocks a couple of suplexes, flips out of a third attempt and an Asai moonsault bodyblock gets two. Shane with a flying burrito for 2. Back to working the arm with a chicken-wing. Another Fallen Angel chant. Daniels gets out with a couple of elbow. Sleeper by Shane, then reversed into a sleeper by Daniels, and a double short-arm clothesline gives me a chance to catch my breath. Shane up first, going up top, but Daniels hits an f’n POP UP BUTTERFLY SUPERPLEX! DAMN! Two running lariats and an enzuigiri and Daniels is in control. Daniels with a uranage, and the Double Jump Moonsault gets two! Shane stops that damn floatover counter (about time someone did that), Daniels almost counters with Last Rites, and Shane gets a rollup for 2, Daniels counters Sweet Chin Music with a rollup for 2. Double backslide attempt, Daniels gets an Angel’s Wings for 2. Daniels going for the kill, but Shane goes low and bails. Shane tries to get the title to use it, one of the followers steals it, and Daniels gets a rollup, but Shane kicks him off head first into the title belt, and hits Sweet Chin Music for 3! WINNER: Michael Shane. Shane does the heel beatdown, but Chris Sabin makes the save! And we actually get a “Hail Sabin” chant. Daniels takes exception to Sabin interference and they go nose to nose in the ring.

— “Bound for Glory” promo.

— Cut back to Tenay and West talking about the Jarrett/Hogan stuff.

— Top of the first, Marlins 3, Cubs 0. FUCK.

— Cut to video of the NJPW show that Hogan beat Chono on. Hogan didn’t win with the legdrop, but with a running lariat. Jarrett just blew in threw a side door and labelled Hogan with a guitar shot. Hogan bleeding all over Jarrett until Chono makes the save. Kind of a cool angle, actually. I highly approve.

— Tenay in the ring, introducing Jeff Jarrett for an in-ring interview. Jarrett’s theme music would be cool if it didn’t degenerate into that country rock crap. Tenay gets right to the point and asks Jarrett “whatsupwithdat??” Jarrett ignores Tenay’s question, and says when he lost the title, no one beat him but Russo. Jarrett says he overcame every obstacle Russo threw at him. Jarrett says that in order to become an icon you must become a self-serving sonuvabitch. Jarrett said Dusty’s challenge convinced him to act first. “Hogan” chant, and from the crowd reaction, it looks like Hogan is going to be the face in this feud. “We Want Hogan” chant. Says Hogan takes all the money, power, and credit. Jarrett says he will damned if Hogan takes his spot, and tells Tenay to never bring up “Bash at the Beach.” Russo Pearl Harbors Jarrett… and starts beating the hell out of him? Way to build up your top heel worker, guys. Russo beating on Jarrett with a chair. And Jarrett getting _no_ offense in return. Russo setting up a table and runs Jarrett into it. Jarrett _finally_ fights back and labels Russo with three chairshots. Jarrett continuing to beat on Russo. Crowd now chanting “One More Time.” I’m really hoping this is a way to write Russo out of the fed. Jarrett whipping Russo…

— Bottom second, Marlins 3, Cubs 0. DAMN.

— Back to Jarrett and Russo. Jarrett hanging Russo on a fence with his belt… actually, restraining him, and IT’S FREE SHOTS ON RUSSO!! Jarrett didn’t like the feel of the original chair, so he grabs another one! Then trashcan shots, and Jarrett takes out the Blackshirts! Jarrett destroying Russo., and Ekmo, Siaki and Legend make the save, and AJ Styles is in the ring. Russo is dead, and AJ is pissed!

— Hudson backstage with the Redshirts. Northcutt says Watts made a mistake last week, he booked this match. Redshirts say Roddy Piper’s interviews will not be seen.

— Grudge match: Kevin Northcutt w/Ryan Wilson vs. Erik Watts w/Blackshirt security.: I stand corrected, it looks like different dancers tonight. I’d still throw it to either of them. Watts getting good cheers, actually. Brawling to start. Northcutt gains control and starts beating Watts in the corner, and Watts hits a spinning headscissors? It was maybe 0.2 Guerrero, but it still was a spinning headscissors. Fight goes outside, Watts runs Northcutt into the guardrail as Russo gets put into an ambulance. Action back in the ring, now. Northcutt eats a boot on an idiot charge, then Thesz Press and pounding. Wilson with the distraction, allowing Northcutt to go low, then hit a reverse neckbreaker and a pumphandle suplex for 2. Northcutt drapes Watts across the bottom rope then hits a legdrop to the back of the head on the apron and gets another 2 count. Shoulder lock by Northcutt and Watts fights out but Northcutt plows over him with a clothesline. Watts fights out of an arm wringer and hits a running forearm and hits a chokeslam! Wilson up on the apron and Watts puts him down, but Northcutt pulls out his handcuffs and nails Watts with it for the win! The Redshirts handcuff Watts, fight off some Blackshirts, and Heavy D Don Harris runs out with a Blackshirt security shirt, and Goldilocks is back!

— And the Cubs just tied it up on a Kerry Wood homerun!!!!!!! CUBS! WOO! CUBS! WOO! CUBS! WOO!

— X-Division tag team match: Eric Young and Sonjay Dutt vs. El Fuego and Jerelle Clark: Fuego and Dutt to start. Fuego puts Dutt down with a shoulderblock and a spinning headscissors, and Dutt responds in kind, then hits an armdrag and dropkick, and we get tags for Young and Clark. Clark takes control with an armwringer, and we get lots of flippy floppy. Tenay pimps and interview with Styles later, and Young hits a nice belly to belly on Clark. El Fuego with some kicks from the apron, allowing Clark to take control, and Fuego hits a partner-assisted Sliced Bread #2 and a Pumphandle Stunner, then a Handspring StarDust splash???? HOLY F’N SHIT! Fuego with an armbar, but Young pulls him up and Clark tries to go up top, and Young hits a _very_ contrived Double DVD, but Clark cuts off the tag. Young finally makes the hot tag to Dutt. Ropeflip hurricanrana by Dutt on Fuego and counters a tilt-a-whirl powerslam with a tornado DDT. This is all contrived spots. They do the continuous plancha spot from a couple of weeks ago, with Dutt hitting a springboard corkscrew plancha to finish it off! Fuego hits a 630 senton on Young. Dutt hits a combo of moves called the Calcutta Cutter, but Clark makes the save. Dutt tries a back superplex, but Dutt fights him off and hits a twisting 450 moonsault (Hindu Press) for the win. WINNERS: Eric Young and Sonjay Dutt.

— Hudson backstage with Kid, Redshirts try to convince him not to fight with Abyss, but Kid is having nothing to do with that.

— Tag Team match: Simon and Swinger (c) w/Glen Gilberti and David Young vs. DANNY DORING AND ROADKILL?????: ROADKILL!!!! Swinger and Doring to start, and West says it’s non-title. Match quickly breaks down, Simon whipped on top of Swinger in the corner, and Doring whips Roadkill onto both of them. Simon and Swinger bail, and Doring jumps on both on the outside. Roadkill goes for the Amish Splash on the outside, but Simon and Swinger move out of the way and Roadkill hits the rail. Back in the ring. Doring beats on Swinger in the corner, and AMW is on the ramp. Diamond interferes and Doring is in bad trouble in the corner. Simon Diamond hits the Simon Series (two vertical suplexes followed by a front suplex) for two. Back to the corner and Doring getting worked over. Doring finally gains control with the Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am DDT, and the hot tag to Roadkill. Boss Man slam, then a side slam on Diamond gets two. Doring ducks a double clothesline, and Roadkill hits a flying clothesline on Simon and Swinger for 2. Roadkill with a powerslam on Diamond, Doring hits an Alabama Jam, then David Young interferes, and Gilberti tries to interfere, but AMW stops him and Doring gets a roll up for the 3 count. WINNERS: DANNY DORING AND ROADKILL!!!!

— Cut to backstage with Hudson and the Gathering. Raven trying to speak, but having trouble doing so. Raven tells the Gathering to stop interfering, leaving the two of them speechless. They start to cut a promo, but TNA must be running long, so they get cut off. Oh well, the perils of live TV.

— Abyss vs. Kash package. I’ve seen this three times, so I’m flipping to the Cubs game.

— And IT’S CUBS 5-3 IN THE TOP OF THE FOURTH! CUBS! WOO! CUBS! WOO! Moises Alou home run!

— Grudge match: Kid Kash vs. Abyss: Kash talking trash to start, and hits a kick to the gut and tries an Irish Whip, but Abyss is having nothing of that, and he’s just throwing Kash around. Kash gets a slap and leads Abyss on a couple of chases, and tries to throw a chair at Abyss, but it has no effect. Gorilla Press flapjack, then a Bearhug belly to belly suplex by Abyss. Kash desperately trying to hold onto the ropes, but Abyss pulls him off and slaps Kash in the corner. Kash with a quick eye poke to get some offense in, until Abyss starts no selling Kash’s slaps. Big bodyslam by Abyss, but Abyss misses a second rope splash. Kash tries to go up top, but Abyss catches him and spikes him with a powerbomb. Abyss tries to go for the chokeslam, but Kash takes out the ref and grabs a chair, and two chairshots only put Abyss down to one knee. The Smashmouth puts Abyss down, but Kash can’t roll him over! He finally does, but only gets 2! Kash tries for another Smashmouth, but Abyss puts his boot in Kash’s face. Abyss tries a torture rack, Kash gets out, but Abyss nails him with a Black Hole Slam for the win! WINNER: Abyss. Abyss tries to do a beatdown, but Kash uses powder to blind Abyss and Kash hits a chairshot and a running boot to the gonads. Redshirts just watching on the ramp. Abyss gains control again, and hits a sitout Torture Rack backbreaker to finish Kash off.

— Cut to the back with Hudson, Simon, Swinger, Young and Gilberti. Gilberti says Doring and Roadkill get a title shot next week.

— Tag team grudge match: The New Church Disciples (Slash and Vampiro) vs. The Gathering (CM Punk and Julio Dinero): Slash gets things started with a running over the top rope plancha and it’s mass chaos right away. Vampiro puts Punk into the rail, Dinero counters a flying bodypress with an Ace Crusher. Dinero and Punk try to set up a Doomsday Device, but Vampiro throws Punk off. Folks, this is barely qualifying as a match. Punk already opened up. Once again, I’m shocked, shocked I say, that someone is bleeding in a TNA main event. Vampiro and Slash working over Punk in the corner. Father James Mitchell seems to be looking out for Raven, not even paying attention to the match. Punk makes a comeback and both men down, tags to Vampiro and Julio, and Julio puts down Vampiro with a superkick and hits Slash with a spinning full nelson slam, but Vampiro saves. Vampiro misses a twisting moonsault, and a Doomsday Device buts Slash down, and Mitchell interferes. Vampiro with a red mist to the face, and the Nail in the Coffin finishes it. WINNERS: The New Church Disciples. Raven makes the save and starts beating on Vampiro and takes out both Vampiro and Slash. Mitchell tries to escape to the back, Raven catches him but Vampiro saves and they all go to the back.

— West runs down next week’s card. Simon and Swinger vs. Roadkill and Doring, a surprise tag team vs. AMW, Slash vs. Raven, Christopher Daniels vs. Chris Sabin vs. Michael Shane for the X-Division Title, and Jeff Jarrett beating… I mean, Jeff Jarrett vs. AJ Styles for the NWA Championship.

— Jimmy Hart on the phone, asking Jarrett if he expected to do what he did without Hogan getting revenge. Hart says Hulkamania will come to the Asylum, and he’s armed and dangerous. Tenay creams himself, and Jarrett snatches the mic from him, and says is “damn sure” Hogan and no one else is going to stop him from getting the title next week. AJ Styles runs out and we get a brawl between the two to end the show as Dusty waddles his fat ass out.

— And the Cubs are up 5-3 in the top of the fifth, but Wood’s getting wild. And I think the Sox won, too. And, seeing as I never switched over to the Cubs game during a match, and only three times overall, I believe, I think we can safely say that this was a pretty damn good show from the TNA boys.


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