411s NWA:TNA Xplosion Report 07.04.04

TNA’S GOT IT GOING ON!!!!

They really need to add new footage to the Xplosion opening video. It’s been what, five months since that opening package was first created?

Mike Tenay and that blonde ferret are your hosts.

Danny Jaxx vs. Dallas – Whether or not this Kid Kash has actually left TNA, I knew Dallas would end up on Xplosion for a couple weeks. Dallas looks awesome tonight, complete with soaking hair and what appear to be new tights. Jaxx leads Dallas through some wrestling holds. Big shoulderblock from Dallas. Jaxx lands a sidekick, but Dallas retaliates with a big boot. Kneelift! He’s becoming more and more like Nash as the weeks go on. Side slam! More and more… Dallas puts the boots to Jaxx. He follows up some hard side elbows in the corner with a back suplex that gets two. Wow, Dallas’ back tattoo looks absolutely ridiculous. Big legdrop is only good for two. Choking and other assorted generic offense to Jaxx. Dallas tries a chokeslam, but Jaxx escapes. He ducks under a clothesline, but Dallas catches him off a crossbody block attempt. Dallas brings him up, and it’s Blackout (crucifix powerbomb) time for the win at 3:10. Wow. His finishing move is the only thing this guy can do correctly. If Kash is actually gone, however, he should be kept around in some type of bodyguard capacity, though.

Tenay recaps what occurred between still NWA-TNA Heavyweight Champion Jeff Jarrett, Ron Killings, Vince Russo, and Ken Shamrock.

Hype for the Monte/y rematch this Wednesday. D-Lo got knocked out thanks a completely unneeded tope chairshot spot, and as a result, the match turned out pretty terrible the first time around.

TNA Cam shows Scott Hudson interviewing Monte Brown, who has a D-Lo Brown bobblehead in hand. Well, that’s one way to get rid of unwanted merchandise. Monte promises to knock D-Lo’s head off this Wednesday. And how he is going to do that? “With the PUOOOOOOOONCE!”

TNA Cam shows Scott Hudson interviewing D-Lo Brown. “It takes a big man to talk to a bobblehead.” Well, you learn something new everyday.

Mikal Adryan, Dirk Ciglar, and Austin Lane vs. The Elite Guard – Ciglar was last seen jobbing to Skipper on this program last month. The Elite Guard attack Austin Lane as his partners are leaving the ring. Collyer and Lane get into a slugfest that sees Collyer rock Lane with a German. Onyx and Collyer do a sloppy double team move that sees them double hiptoss Lane, keep him in a cradle position, then flip him backwards. I’m placing the blame on Onyx for that one. Onyx slams Lane into the corner. Stiff clothesline from Onyx. Onyx works over Lane with a kneelock. Lane tries to come back, but after screwing it up the first time, Onyx brings him to the mat with a spinebuster. Hernandez in now, and he shows his inexperience in tag team wrestling by whipping Lane into his own corner. Lane tries to sunset flip Hernandez, but he gets broke up in the air by his throat by Hernandez. Hernandez then, still holding Lane by his neck, just launches Lane up and over his head. Nice. Enziguri from Lane allows him to nearly make a tag, but the rest of The Elite Guard run in to stop him. Ciglar and Adryan aren’t too happy about this, so they run in. It doesn’t take long for Collyer to dispose of Adryan over the top rope, and for Ciglar to get press slammed to the floor by Onyx. And how about a HUGE powerbomb from Hernandez for the win at 4:15? Just an absolute squash, with Ciglar and Adryan getting all of five seconds of ring-time. Onyx has no business being on national TV, but Hernandez and (especially) Collyer are perfectly acceptable.

Nice video hyping TNA’s Tag Team Division. Triple X is mentioned. Hmmm….

TNA Cam shows Scott Hudson with The Naturals. They appear to be trashed, but it may just be fatigue.

Lash F’N LeRoux and Ray Gordy vs. Johnny Devine and Eric Young – Ray is actually Terry “Bam Bam” Gordy’s son. LeRoux physique looks to have improved a bit since I last saw him. Young and Gordy start off. Gordy goes to work on Young’s back with some kicks. Devine tags in, and he gets met with the same. Gordy has a ton of intensity as he runs Devine into the corner and tags in LeRoux. Dropkick to Devine. LeRoux tries to flip over Devine in the corner, but not only does he get punched in the head by Young, Devine also flapjacks him. Young comes in without a tag being made. He chokes LeRoux briefly in the corner, and then tags Devine back in. Young backbreakers LeRoux after tagging Divine in, who springboards in with a legdrop. Snap suplex on LeRoux gets two. Divine taunts Gorgy, which allows Eric Young to fly in with a top rope elbowdrop without a tag being made. LeRoux fights back, but gets met with a knee to the stomach. Young tags Divine in. Divine comes in with a top rope crossbody that is only good enough for two. LeRoux gets a boot to Divine’s face, and he flips off the second ring rope, Carpet Munching Divine. Hot tag! Enzuguri for Young, and a clothesline for Divine. Bridging German suplex to Young gets two. All four men are in the ring now. LeRoux gets dropkicked to the floor. Gordy is now left to be double teamed. Spinning neckbreaker to Gordy by Young. Now, with Young holding Gordy up in a vertical suplex, Divine goes off the top rope with a move that essentially pulls your legs apart called the Maple Leaf Splitter. What in the hell??? That gets them the win at 4:50. Terrible finishing move, but a decent enough match. Hopefully Gordy and Lash will continue to be brought back.

TNA Cam shows Scott Hudson interviewing The King of the Mountain, Jeff Jarrett, who invites Shamrock and 3LK to try and take the gold back.

TNA Cam shows Scott Hudson interviewing Ken Shamrock. Shamrock promises to break Jeff’s bones.

This Wednesday on TNA…
Gauntlet for the Gold time! World Champion Jeff Jarrett will defend against Ken Shamrock, 3 Live Kru, and The Elite Guard.
The Naturals will finally get their shot at the NWA World Tag Team Titles when they take on America’s Most Wanted.
In some sort of crazy X Division Tornado Tag Team Match, men like Chris Sabin, The Amazing Red, and members of Team Japan and Canada will compete.
A winner is guaranteed in the match between D-Lo Brown and The Alpha Male.
In a Mixed Tag Team Match, Big Vito & Trinity will face Sonny Siaki & Desire.
D-Ray 3000 & Shark Boy will take on Frankie Kazarian and, ugh… Primetime.
We’ll find out if Jeff Hardy has singed a contract with TNA.

See yah next week.