411’s OVW TV Report 5.01.04

Hello, OVW fanatics, this is Mitch Foist, posting last week’s OVW TV Report.

The teaser? Only 411 would allow you to miss as much as I have and still have a job (it’s not a job, really, as I don’t get paid. I really need a job. But I’m bunny trailin’ here).

Why am I doing May the report for May 1st on May 9th, you may ask? I lost the paper I wrote everything down on. No more complex reason than that, just I lost the paper.

This week’s OVW TV Report will be written by the OVW webmaster and is 100% not my work, I just feel guilty for missing OVW this week because I was with my dad (my parents are divorced and rarely see him). So, soon after this report is posted, I will give you all the writing skills of the OVW Webmaster.

I will get right into it, because I just woke up from a nap and am in danger of falling under at any minute.

Album of This Week’s Report: Dave Matthews Band “Under the Table and Dreaming”.

LAST WEEK:

You all can look it up. :$

THIS WEEK:

YOUR Venue: The Davis Arena

YOUR Commentators: Jim Cornette and Dean Hill.

YOUR Commentator: Late, as usual.

A little note, because so much goes on during matches with Adrenaline, I will revert to my old ways of recapping for their matches, which is talking about the spots and such that I enjoyed. Less stress on me.

Match 1: Carlos Colon (w/ Kenny Bolin and Nurse Lulu) vs. Mike Taylor

Match: Carlos started out with a headlock on Taylor, but Taylor rolled out. Colon attempted a waistlock, but Taylor got a side headlock in. Colon rolled out of it and Taylor shoved him down. Taylor got a ugly, ugly headlock takedown for 2. Tay locked in ANOTHER headlock, but Colon forearmed out of it. Taylor hiptossed him. Taylor knocked him down and hiptossed him yet again. Taylor scoopslammed Colon. Taylor did another headlock takedown, this one not nearly as shitty. Taylor managed to get in ANOTHER sideheadlock, much to my chagrin. Colon got out and ‘accidentally’ punched the ref, then he tossed Taylor out of the ring. Colon slammed Taylor’s ribs into the ring apron. Colon pushed him into the ring, then pinned him for a 2. Carlos repeatedly booted Taylor, then whipped him into the ropes. Colon charged and gave him a shoulder to the gut. Colon gets a waistlock in on the ground, but Taylor rolled him into a pin for 2. Colon goes for another shoulder in the corner, but misses. Taylor chopped him three times, he whipped him into a corner and gave him a back elbow. I just realized, the way I type it makes it sound like Colon is politely unwrapping a birthday present from Taylor, and it turns out inside is just an elbow to his face. Fantastic. Bunny trailin’ again, back to the ‘action’. And by action, I mean headlocks. Ah, fuck it, all thats left is a bunch of rollup attempts, where Colon got the pin by holding onto the ropes.

Match Rating: When I watched this match, I gave it **1/2, but after typing it up, it feels about *.

Commercial.

Jillian Hall collected money for the Crusade for Children. There is no use keeping her if there is going to be no women’s division.

Recap of everything with Morgan from the week of his title win as well as the week post title win.

Commercial.

Matt Morgan came to the ring for an interview with Jim Cornette. He said he received a call from Nick Dinsmore. Dinsmore said next week he is sending his best friend to give a message to Impact. No clue. He talked about his upcoming match with Benoit, saying he never has tapped. He also said that, and I quote, ‘Never been in a submission he’s never out strengthed out of.’ Such a verbose champion. Impact came to the ring. He said that last week he gave Morgan a choice, a guarantee. He said he doesn’t like Morgan, but Lauranitis thought he would be a good member of the Team Players. He makes the offer again. Morgan said he would rather rot. Impact points out that the champ has to defend every thirty days, and that he has to defend before his match with Benoit. Impact tries to pick an opponent, but Cornette cuts him off. Cornette said that next week, Morgan will face a challenger that has beaten him before. That challenger: “The Giant Killer” Mike Mondo. If you don’t know who he is, just think OVW’s Crash Holly.

Clips are shown of Benoit.

Commercial.

Recap of Danny Inferno (new Jersey Shore Crew member) and The Idol vs. The Disciples of Synn some time not too long ago. Must’ve somehow missed it. Odd.

Seth Skyfire’s theme music is “Headstrong” by some band I forget. Blah. Heard the song, it’s not the best.

This match will be recapped under Adrenaline rules.

Match 2: Seth Skyfire and Matt Johnson vs. The Idol and Danny Inferno

Noteable Spots: Armdrag into monkey flip by Seth Skyfire onto The Idol. The Idol and Danny Inferno hit a double back suplex. Johnson hit a beautiful dropkick that got full leg extension on Idol. Synn threw in a chair while Skyfire was down to make it look like the Jersey Shore Crew cheated, and this got a DQ.

Match Rating: *1/2 Not enough time.

Commercial.

The Jersey Shore Crew got a #1 Contender’s match with Adrenaline next week. Adrenaline have Synn in their corner.

Commercial.

Recap of the Troubleshooters reign of terror.

This match will be recapped under Adrenaline rules.

Main Event: Adrenaline vs. Johnny Nitro and Joey Matthews.

Notable Spots: Tank did some of his normal righteous offense on Nitro early on. Tank’s awesome offense isn’t anything flashy, he just makes it look so damn convincing. Tank hit a pretty awesome bulldog as well, which looks like it could’ve broken Matthews’s nose. Cage hit a DDT where they both went down face first. The final spot was when Matthews was going for a superplex but Cage pushed him off the top rope, he hit a crossbody for the pin.

The Troubleshooters came to the ring to beat down Adrenaline, but The Jersey Shore Crew ran to the ring and saved them. The Jersey Shore Crew then beat down Adrenaline for themselves. Synn attacks Trudi DeNucci and then Seth Skyfire and Mat Johnson ran in.

Match Rating: **1/4

Final Thoughts: Man, I love OVW’s tag team division. It’s the best they have, their main event has turned to shit with the WWE calling them up. The women’s division is nonexistant, and the tag team division is just filled with such great and talented guys. I love it.