411’s TNA Impact Wrestling Report 2.14.13

Championship Roll Call:
TNA WORLD CHAMPION: Jeff Hardy
TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: Rob Van Dam
TNA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Austin Aries and Bobby Roode
TNA KNOCKOUTS CHAMPION: Tara
TNA KNOCKOUTS TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Eric Young and ODB
TNA TELEVISION CHAMPION: Devon

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Previously on Impact Wrestling: Roode and Aries’s first step in winning all the gold in TNA is complete, Bully Ray and Sting top Aces & Eights’ Devon and D.O.C. in a tables match, and Rockstar Spud makes his TNA debut.

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We’re back in Merry Old London, England in the Wembley Arena with Todd Keneley introducing us to the show as we are on the Road to Lockdown. We kick off the show with the Hulkster, who the London crowd is popping BIG time for. Hulkamania is alive and well in the UK.

Hulk welcomes his London TNA-Maniacs and says this all sounds pretty sweet. He’s got a couple big things to take care of. First, the TNA Championship situation. He’s found 8 hungry guys, who will compete tonight to determine the new #1 Contender. RVD goes against James Storm, Christopher Daniels versus Britain’s own Magnus, Kurt Angle versus Samoa Joe(!), and the tag team champions square off, as it will be Bobby Roode taking on his “friend” Austin Aries! Hogan will come out at the end of the night, after all the matches are done, to make his decision.

The next situation concerns Aces & Eights, who called out the ENTIRE TNA locker room, and challenged them at Lockdown to a “war to end all wars.” Hulk agreed, and he wants to bring out the man who stood up and offered to take the lead against the renegade group: STING! The Icon makes his way down to a massive pop. He hypes the crowd, is ready to take it to the Aces & Eights “scumbags”, and plans to find three “killers” to tear them apart. “Whatcha gonna do, Aces and Eights?”

We recap the four big matches tonight, including Daniels versus Magnus, which is next!

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-Commercial Break-

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Match #1: Magnus vs. Christopher Daniels w/Kazarian

Man, even for a home reception, Magnus is getting a HUGE pop tonight.

Lock-up, Daniels takes over with an arm wringer, runs off the ropes into a Magnus shoulder block, but pushes him back into the corner with shoulders. Magnus with a few rights, catches Daniels on a cross body and makes a nice transition from the fall away position into a vertical suplex for two. Daniels back up, misses a corner charge, but Kazarian knocks Magnus down from behind and Daniels hits a running STO. Daniels locks in a head vice, Magnus fights out, but Kaz trips him up again.

Daniels locks in another hold, but Magnus fights out with clotheslines. Kaz tries to get involved again, but the ref sees it this time, and chucks Kaz out, ALONG with his manager’s pass! Hey, that cost him 20 bucks! Magnus back body drops Daniels into the ring, Daniels tries to surprise with a BME off the ropes, but Magnus ducks, hits a misdirection clothesline off the ropes that decapitates Daniels, and Magnus polishes him off with a NICE top row elbow for the big home win!

Winner: Magnus (5:30ish)

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Mr. and Mrs. Bully Ray backstage, with Bully moping how his leg injury from last week has hindered his pursuit of the TNA Heavyweight Championship, and butters up Brooke saying how he wanted to be a “warrior of the ring” like her father. Despite all the chaos, he’s happy they’re married and wants to make the most of Valentine’s Day with her. Italian food, dancing, the works. Brooke agrees, but reminds him watch his leg and to wear his wedding ring this time, since he left it on the sink earlier this morning. Trouble in paradise already? Imagine that…

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Magnus tells us how the veterans at TNA have treated him like a “pup”, but wrestling has been all he’s had since he was 19. Aces & Eights took that away from him for three months with a hammer, but now he’s back, and Magnus plans to prove it on the biggest stages in the biggest arenas that he can be Heavyweight Champion!

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Match #2: Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

Before the match, we get Kurt’s twitter comments on the outrage behind the IOC eliminating amateur wrestling as an Olympic sport, which I agree is frankly ridiculous; it’s been a solid foundation of Olympic sport since ancient times.

Joe with the headlock, Kurt shrug shim off, but gets a shoulder from Joe. Kurt to the apron, but gets back in and delivers some right hands to Joe, who fires right back with some jabs, backs Kurt into the corner, then blasts him with a snap kick. Kicks to Kurt’s front and back, and Joe drops a knee for two. He picks Kurt up, goes off the ropes, but Kurt catches him with a belly-to-belly to stop the momentum for Joe. Kurt with right hands to Joe, hits a snap suplex for two. Kurt with a modified chinlock. Joe fights out with jabs to the midsection, but Kurt pops him in the face to knock Joe down as we go to a mid-match break…

-Commercial Break-

Kurt with Joe in a front headlock, but Joe fights out with jabs and chops. Joe blocks a German attempt, grabs the ropes on a whip, and sends Kurt to the floor. Joe revs up…ELBOW SUICIDA!

Joe rolls Kurt back in, hits the Atmoic Drop, boot, and senton back splash for a near fall. Joe misses a right, and here’s Kurt with the three Germans! Angle Slam countered by Joe with jabs, Kurt shoves him off and charges, ST-JOE in the corner! Muscle Buster attempt, Kurt shoves Joe off and hits a big missile dropkick! Angle Slam connects…but Joe locks in the Coquina Clutch on Kurt despite the pain! Kurt reverses in the corner…ANKLE LOCK! Nice rhythm between these two. Joe counters out, and the two wipe each other out with a clothesline! Aces and Eights’ WES BRISCO and GARRETT BISCHOFF hit the ring, and the match is thrown out.

Winner: No Contest (12:30)

Wes and Garrett lay into Joe and Kurt with rights and kicks, but the two veterans shake it off and take the fight to the two renegade youngsters, who retreat to the crowd!

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Dixie Carter backstage with Party Marty and the Blossom Twins. She tells them that despite Rockstar winning the British Boot Camp, they still have the chance to show everyone what they can do in a TNA ring tonight, and to make her proud.

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-Commercial Break-

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Match #3: The Blossom Twins & Party Marty vs. Gail Kim, Knockouts Champion Tara & Jessie Godderz

As far as a wrestling litmus test goes, can’t get much better than the longest-reigning Knockouts Champion and the current Knockouts champ. A former Big Brother star? Eh, not so much.

Jessie showboats with Marty in a headlock, but Marty counters with a nice snapmare and roundhouse kick to Jessie’s head for a two count. Jesse knocks Marty into the corner, but Marty blocks a charge and hits a crisp springboard moonsault for two as we go to break…

-Commercial Break-

Jessie don’t wanna party no more, and tags out to Tara. Hanna Blossom in with a clothesline to Tara, and Holly tags in, they hit a double team sidewalk slam for two on the current champ. Gail tags in, and pulls Holly’s hair. Holly comes back with a roll-up, but Jessie distracts the ref. Gail with a clothesline to Holly, and Tara tags in. Hair snapmare to Holly, and Gail tags in. She hits the backbreaker on Holly for a two count. Gail whips Holly to the corner, hits her modified charge to the midsection, and gets a near fall. Tara tags in, hits a standing moonsault, but Holly kicks out yet again.

Tara shakes the booty for Jessie, but Holly gets the knees up on the moonsault. Hot tag to sister Hanna, who comes in afire with clotheslines to Tara. Holly and Gail in, Gail knocked down. Blossom twins with the double flap jack, splashing Gail on Tara. Hanna puts Holly on her shoulders, ELECTRIC CHAIR SPLASH! 1…2..Gail breaks up the pinfall! Jessie in now, but Party Marty with a sky high dropkick to send Godderz out of the ring, then takes him out with a suicide dive! Back in the ring, Gail surprises Hanna with Eat Defeat for the 1…2…3!

Winners: Gail Kim, Tara & Jessie Godderz (11:34)

Gail on the mic. She has once again proven why she is the most dominant Knockout in the world today, thanks Taryn Terrell for doing her job for once, and lets Tara know she’s coming for the championship. She knows the championship is on the line, and tells Ms. Hogan to make it easy for everyone and give her the title shot.

Brooke out now to a very mixed (more on negative) reaction, and she actually agrees with Gail and gives her the match…however, she’s also giving a shot to Miss Tessmacher…and Velvet Sky! It’s a four-way elimination match next week for the Knockouts title, and she’ll be at ringside for the match to prevent any likely Jessie-related shenanigans. Everyone but Tara and Jessie are happy campers about this.

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We recap Dixie’s big announcement concerning TNA (FINALLY!) going on the road full time, including a stop in Corpus Christi, Texas. She also lets us know that TNA Champion Jeff Hardy has been resigned to a long-term deal, and he will return in two weeks.

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James Storm versus RVD is NEXT!

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Aries and Roode discuss how their plan to have all the gold is coming along smoothly, and that Hogan is only trying to divide them because he knows they’re a threat. They discuss who’ll be going after what titles, but can’t agree on who will go after the Heavyweight championship. They eventually “agree” that both will do what’s best for business.

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-Commercial Break-

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Match #4: “The Cowboy” James Storm vs. Rob Van Dam

The two exchange some quick holds and square off. RVD floats over Storm, Storm back RVD to the corner, Van Dam sends him over the ropes, Storm hits the enziguri. Storm off the ropes, but RVD lays him out with a spin kick. RVD sets him up for a monkey flip and connects. Van Dam with a cross backbreaker and hits a split-legged moonsault for two. Storm and RVD exchange rights, but Storm gets a kick to the gut of Van Dam. Storm whips RVD into the corner. He runs and RVD flips up, but Storm grabs the legs, spins around and does an Alabama (Tennessee) Slam.

Storm stalks RVD as he gets up. He goes for the Back Stabber, but RVD holds onto the ropes. He bounces off the ropes and tries to leg drop James’ chest, but he moves. Storm hits the Closing Time. He gets ready. RVD gets up, and Storm goes for the Last Call Super Kick, but RVD blocks it and kicks him in the face. RVD goes for the Five Star Frog Splash, but Storm gets up and pushes RVD off the corner. RVD lands on the apron. Storm fights RVD on the corner, but RVD knocks Storm back. Storm is knocked all the way back to the corner. RVD jumps to the top and goes for Coast to Coast, but Storm moves and RVD lands on his back, neck, and head. Both get up and Storm, out of nowhere, hits the Last Call Superkick. He covers and wins.

Winner: James Storm (5:49)

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Joseph Park finds Hulk backstage and lets him know that he’s “politicking” for a heavyweight championship shot at Lockdown. He’s even got buttons, flyers, and a political manager! Hogan lets him know the others are “ribbing” him and “promises” him a vote for Parks, Heavyweight Champion in 2013!

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-Commercial Break-

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Hulk arguing with Brooke over Bully wanting in the championship hunt. Brooke laments how Bully’s never been champion. Hulk feels for Bully, but he’s got eight other men to consider and another match to watch. He understand Bully’s plight, and will take it under advisement. Looks like Parks’s not the only one “politicking”…

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Match #5 (Main Event): Bobby Roode vs. Austin Aries

Roode on the mic, and he knows Hogan’s trying to screw with them only one week after they won the tag belts. They plan on winning every ounce of gold and bringing some class back to the belts. Aries says the plan is so transparent, he and Roode are on the same page. and asks the ref to ring the bell.

DOUBLE FINGERPOKE OF DOOM! Aries says Roode was supposed to go down, Roode says otherwise. Aries says he’ll be the bigger man and lay down for Roode…Aries counters the pin into a rollup! 1…2..kickout, and Roode is pissed! The tag champs get in each other’s face as we go to commercial…

-Commercial Break-

Aries and Roode locking up in the corner, clean break, but Aries shoves Roode off and they’re still arguing over who should take the fall. Roode reverses a whip, but Aries cartwheels past him. Roode counters a roll-up into a pin and holds the ropes for two. Aries floats over Roode in the corner, and he tries a roll-up with feet on the ropes, but Brian Hebner catches him.

Aries gets the better of an exchange of right hands, but Roode plants him with the Double R spinebuster for a near fall. Roode tripped into the turnbuckle, but Aries misses a charge, Roode pulls him up to the top and decks him with a right. Roode up now for a superplex, but he and Aries exchange rights. Aries knocks Roode off with a stiff forearm, 450 attempt, Aries rolls through, spear by Roode…ARIES COUNTERS INTO THE FRONT CHANCERY! Nice! Roode nearly taps, but rakes the eyes of Aries. Roode traps Aries in the Crossface! Aries stuck in the middle of the ring…he rolls up Roode! 1…2…kickout! Kick to Roode, Brainbustah countered and Hebner gets knocked down.

Roode goes out, grabs a chair, gets ready…and fakes a shot and hands it off to Aries. Aries is like, “Are you kidding me?”, fakes a shot as well, and both men are “down.” Hebner doesn’t know what to call as both men argue they were hit as the crowd is just eating this up, as am I. Chavo and Hernandez, the former champs, out to a mild negative reaction, and they walk towards the ring. Roode and Aries confront them and ask who should ward them off. Hebner’s counting all this time, and by the time Roode and Aries realize this, they’re falling over each other and it’s too late! Double countout, but only Chavo and Hernandez are happy with the results.

Winner: No Contest, Double Countout (13:22)

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We go to Hulk and Sting. Hulk compares what Brooke’s been on him about Bully and the TNA Title to his war with Sting at Starcade back in the day. Sting’s only glad he doesn’t have to make the decision, but he knows for sure that’s Bully out and Hogan’s got 8 great choices under the TNA umbrella to make. Hogan is WALKING…the wrong way, and Sting turns him around.

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-Commercial Break-

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Hogan out to another BIG pop from the London crowd. He says their energy has really been driving this show and helping him come to a decision about the heavyweight title. A big “HOGAN” chant rings through, but Hulk says it’s not about him anymore. As he’s about to make the announcement…

Aces and Eights hits the ring. They surround Hulkster and he looks trapped…but here comes Bully! Chain and all! He ward them off from the ring for a minute, until the STINGER makes his presence known…with a cricket bat! FANCY A GAME OF CRICKET, BOYS? Sting, Hulk, and Bully, bats in hand, chase off Devon and company, as we still don’t know who the new #1 contender is as we fade to black…

My Thoughts: Something’s definitely up with the newest member of the Hogan family: Bully gripes about being out of the title hunt, Brooke brings the matter to Hulk, and Bully’s the first out to defend Hulk before he can make the call on the new #1 contender. Seems a little too obvious, but then again, TNA’s never been known for subtlety, has it? That aside, pretty solid showing in the UK.