411’s WWE Smackdown Report 04.16.10

Hello, and welcome to another edition of 411’s WWE Smackdown Report! I’m your reviewer, Michael Uphoff! As someone was kind enough to point out last week, I will change some things in how I review. I enjoy feedback from people who read this, so don’t be afraid to leave your thoughts in the comment section. With that out of the way, let’s review another exciting show of Smackdown!

Todd Grisham and Matt Striker welcome us to Friday Night Smackdown, which tonight hails from London, England! I dig the double-decker bus and the mini-cooper on the stage.

Chris Jericho’s music hits and he makes his way down to the ring. Striker informs us that Jericho is a disgruntled former World Champion. RAW’s guest host, David Hasselhoff, made a match at Extreme Rules between Randy Orton and Jack Swagger for the World Heavyweight Championship to be contested under Extreme Rules! Awesome.

Jericho says that I will say this slowly so that you slovenly parasites can understand me. Randy Orton is on RAW. Randy Orton is facing Jack Swagger at Extreme Rules for the World Title. The World Title that should exclusively be defended on Smackdown. A title that I brought to prominence and glory because I am the greatest in this, or any other generation. Do you understand what I am saying to you right now? Jack Swagger cashed in his MITB briefcase on me, which means I should be entitled to a rematch, yet I don’t have one. Why don’t I have one? I’ll tell you why I don’t have one: it’s because Teddy Long, the general manager of Smackdown, is the most incompetent buffoon that’s ever held a position of power. James Buchanan? He needs to rectify this situation immediately by doing two things. One, he needs to hand in his resignation, and second, he needs to ensure that I face the winner of Orton-Swagger as soon as that match is through. Even you hypocrites can understand that I have been unfairly treated and vilified, and I deserve something better as the most valuable performer in this company. EDGE’s music hits! He gets a mic and says it’s strange. He does find himself agreeing with some of Jericho’s points. I do, I do. The title does need to stay here on Smackdown. You do deserve a rematch. You also deserve a swift kick to the cobblers. Ha. Chris, let me get straight to the point. I don’t think that you’re the guy to save the title for Smackdown. You’re damaged goods. How many times have I speared you over the last month? How many times have I stood over you at the end of the show, as you clutch your ribs, wondering if they’re broken? Chris, if you really care about Smackdown, if you really care about this show, give up on the rematch clause, because in the condition that you’re in, I don’t think you can beat Orton or Swagger. “And you think you can beat Orton and Swagger?”- Jericho. Chris, I know I can. And if you want to argue that point, I can spear you right now and prove it. They stare each other down as Teddy Long’s music hits. He says that he doesn’t appreciate Jericho hating on him out here, playa. Jericho says,” listen to me. If you would do your job, I wouldn’t have to be hating on you, player. What you’re doing is unacceptable, and I demand that you give me what I deserve right now.” Teddy says,” well now, if I were to give you what you deserve right now, I’d have security throw you right out of the building. Now, Chris, I do know that you have a rematch clause, but you don’t get to decide it. That’s my job. So I guess tonight’s your lucky night. So Chris Jericho, you will be getting your title rematch tonight!” “Well, well, well, Teddy. It’s about time that you decided to do the right thing. Congratulations, and I guarantee that I am going to beat Jack Swagger tonight and take back my championship, beat Orton at Extreme Rules, and Edge, since I beat you at Wrestlemania, I’m gonna make sure that you never get another title shot as you long as you work here. Do you understand me?”- Jericho. Teddy interrupts, saying “Wait, wait, wait. Chris, just because you walk along in a fancy suit doesn’t mean you have any power, playa. Now, I believe Edge when he says that he can become World Champion and keep the title on Smackdown. So tonight, in our main event, Jack Swagger will defend the World Heavyweight Championship against…Chris Jericho! And Edge! In a Triple Threat Match!”

Grisham and Striker put over the unknowns in a triple threat match.

Drew McIntyre’s music hits. He gets some boos from the crowd, but that’s only because he’s in England. Drew says you people don’t like me. Could it be because I’m young? Handsome? Maybe it’s because I’m the Intercontinental Champion, or it’s because I’m the chosen one. You people don’t like me, and I don’t like you either.

Drew McIntyre (c) vs. Kane- Non-title match

Kane throws a punch, misses, and Drew with some corner offense. Kane with some clubbing blows and rights. He then just tosses Drew across the ring. Side headlock by Kane, followed by a headlock takedown. Drew to his feet, whips Kane off the ropes, and Kane hits a shoulderblock for a quick one count. Kane grabs another headlock, snapmares him down, and hits a low running dropkick for 2. Irish whip to the turnbuckle, Kane charges and misses, Drew off the ropes and hits a big boot! Neckbreaker by Drew for 2. Corner offense by Drew, with a corner lariat. Off the ropes and Drew eats a big boot! Corner clothesline by Kane, followed by a sidewalk slam for 2! Kane goes up top and hits the flying clothesline! He calls for the chokeslam! Drew bails to the outside. He walks off but Matt Hardy is out and throws him back in! Apparently that’s enough for a DQ, which is bullshit. Kane chokeslams Drew. Matt realizes what he’s done, and Kane is not happy. Chokeslam to Hardy! Kane does his pyro thing.

Winner: Drew McIntyre via DQ- Okay match for what it was, but nothing I haven’t seen before. *1/2

We see Teddy Long in his office, and Jack Swagger comes in, not looking all too pleased with Long’s decision. “Who do you think you are? This is the most unfair ruling you’ve ever made!”-Swagger. Teddy responds by saying that he is the GM of Friday Night Smackdown, and that as long as Jack holds the World Heavyweight Championship, he’s going to deal with Teddy’s rulings about that championship.

Dolph Ziggler makes his way to the ring. He grabs a mic and says that the GM has demanded that I publicly apologize for abusing a television announcer. So therefore, from the bottom of my heart, from the deepest depths of my soul, blah blah blah, I sincerely and humbly apologize to Josh Matthews. Great douche heel promo there by Ziggler. R-Truth’s music hits. He does his normal entrance. R-Truth says Ziggler has no heart, no soul, and that you have never been humble or sincere in your life, and that’s the truth. Truth is, you didn’t mean a word you said. In a few minutes, you’re about to find out that the truth hurts!

Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth

The bell rings, and they almost lock up, and Dolph cheapshots Truth. He hits some offense, and then hits an inverted body slam! That was pretty cool. That gets 2. Side headlock, Truth throws him off, ducks a punch, and hits a clothesline. Running forearm by Truth, followed by a right. Irish whip to the corner, reversed by Ziggler, Truth cartwheels away, does the splits to avoid a clothesline, and hits a leg lariat. BIG hiptoss by Truth, and he goes for the Lie Detector! Ziggler ducks under! He grabs a sleeper hold! Truth fights, but Dolph scissors the body! The ref stops the match as Truth passes out, I guess.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler via submission- It was a match. That’s about it. I get that they’re putting over the sleeper hold, but the match was barely there. ¾*

DID YOU KNOW…that last month over 100 million photos of WWE Divas were viewed on WWE.com? I guess someone’s got a little too much time on their hands.

Mickie James comes out to the ring. She seems over in London. Michelle McCool, however, is not.

Mickie James vs. Michelle McCool (c)- Non-title

We get a James gang gag from Striker. The bell rings, and they lock up. Striker asks if you can tell me any other Diva that has accomplished what McCool has. Lita, Trish Stratus, Victoria, and Maryse off the top of my head, dumbass. Michelle mocks Mickie by doing pushups, but Mickie gets right down and does some with her. Dropkick by Mickie, Pat O’Connor roll by Mickie gets a close 2! Jacknife roll by Mickie gets another close 2! Kick to Mickie, but Mickie reverses an Irish whip with a back elbow. She climbs up top, and goes for a tornado DDT, but gets hung up on the ropes by McCool. McCool throws her into the ring post. McCool drags her in and grabs her by the hair and slams her head into the mat again and again. Headscissors now by McCool. She rolls Mickie over, slams her head into the mat again twice, and then rolls over again with the headscissors! Nice I guess. McCool uses the ropes, which forces her to break the hold. McCool signals the end, but Mickie fights back with some rights, but McCool hits a knee to the face, followed by another. She hits a running knee. Mickie counters another move in the corner, and hurricanranas McCool! Mickie with some clotheslines and a leaping forearm! McCool rolls out of the ring, though. Mickie follows her and tosses her into the barricade. She climbs on top of the barricade and hits a Thesz press on McCool! One for Layla as well! Vickie backs off, though. Mickie rolls McCool into the ring and off the ropes hits a SWANK neckbreaker! Layla distracts the ref, though, and Mickie turns around and eats a big boot from Michelle! 1…2…3!

Winner: Michelle McCool via pinfall- Well, I thought at the beginning it would suck, but it picked up pretty nicely as it got going. Nice breath of fresh air in the women’s wrestling department. **1/4

Post-match, McCool beats down Mickie until Beth makes the save. Beth chases Team Laycool into the crowd and stands tall.

A video package hyping a match between Rey Mysterio and The Hart Dynasty and CM Punk, Luke Gallows, and Darren Young is shown.

Grisham and Striker hype the draft in a week or so, and Striker says that they may actually be split up. Grisham says God Save the Queen. A replay of Swagger winning the title and having to defend in a triple threat match is shown.

Backstage, Luke Gallows is seen talking to Darren Young. He says, “Listen rookie. Don’t let that upset victory on NXT go to your head. Because if I get another opportunity, I’m going to beat you to a pulp and shave your head, personally.” Young asks him what it feels like losing to an NXT rookie. Punk breaks it up, saying Gallows fights when and where he says. We fight out in the ring to show straight edge means I’m better than you.

CM Punk, Luke Gallows, and Darren Young vs. Rey Mysterio and the Hart Dynasty

Apparently Miz is on commentary because the Hart Dynasty is in a match. The Hart Dynasty make their way out, and then out comes Rey Mysterio! He’s over in London. Miz’s commentary is pretty good.

David Hart Smith and Luke Gallows to start. Luke fakes a lockup and kicks Smith in the gut. Rights and uppercuts follow. Irish whip to the turnbuckle follows, and Gallows charges and corner clotheslines Smith. Knee to the gut again, but Smith blocks a turnbuckle smash. He gets one of his own on Gallows. Corner offense by Smith, Irish whip, Smith charges into a boot by Gallows, but Smith catches him with a powerslam for 2. Smith tags in Mysterio, and he and Kidd double dropkick Gallows’ head after Smith droptoeholds him! That was NICE. Apparently Kidd is the legal man. Punk tags himself in. They lock up, and Kidd grabs a keylock. He rides Punk down and transitions to an armbar. Punk fights, Kidd transitions back to the keylock. Punk rolls out of it and legsweeps Kidd into a cover! Quick kickout, not even a 1 count. Greco-Roman test of strength, and Punk kicks Kidd in the stomach. Snapmare, and Punk kicks Kidd in the back. Ouch. Punk covers for 1. Irish whip by Punk, Kidd counters off the ropes with a hiptoss! Kidd tags in Smith. Smith tags in Mysterio, as he comes over the top rope and grabs Punk and goes down as the Hart Dynasty double suplexes Punk! That was SWANK. Rey covers for a close 2. Rey with some corner kicks on Punk. Punk drags Rey and throws him into the turnbuckle. Punk with rights and kicks to Rey. Miz’s burial of Grisham during the match is priceless. Corner offense by Punk. Basement dropkick to Rey’s back gets 2! Rey fights back, but Punk headbutts him. Punk Irish whips Rey, goes for a hiptoss, but Rey reverses into a DDT! Rey off the ropes, dropkick to Punk sets him in the 619 position! Punk slides out of the ring. Commercial! I’m gonna get some graham crackers.

Back from commercial, we see Young and Rey locked up in the turnbuckle. Rey dominates with some kicks, and tags in Smith. Smith with some corner offense on Young. Smith tags in Kidd, and they do a double shouldertackle on Young. Front headlock by Kidd on Young transitioned to an armbar. Young backs Kidd into his corner and tags in Gallows. Gallows with some big rights, tosses Kidd over the ropes, but Kidd hangs on, kicks Gallows in the head, and springboards into a big boot! OUCH. Kidd rolls out of the ring. Gallows rolls him back in and lands some elbows for 2. He tags in Young, who hits a nice neckbreaker for 2. Young tags in Punk, who dominates Kidd. Backbreaker by Punk gets 2. Headscissors by Punk now. Kidd bridges and forces Punk’s shoulders down for a 2 count! Huge scoop slam by Punk, and he tags in Young. He goes up top, and misses a leg drop! Young tags in Punk, who comes in and knocks off Rey. Kidd hits a spinning wheel kick on Punk! Kidd makes the hot tag to Smith! He cleans house with some shoulderblocks and clotheslines, and boots Young off the apron and goes after Gallows. Punk with an O’Connor Roll! Smith reverses! 1…2…NO! Smith goes after Gallows, who backs off. Cannonball senton by Kidd onto Gallows! HUGE kick upside the head by Punk to Smith! 1…2…2.89! Knees to the head, Irish whip, Smith droptoeholds Punk into the turnbuckle! Serena comes in to distract the ref, and Rey uses the ringpost to hit the 619! Smith with the running powerslam! SHADES OF THE BULLDOG! 1…2…3!

Winners: Rey Mysterio and the Hart Dynasty via pinfall- Great match between these two. I love the fact that the Hart Dynasty worked the majority of the match, and Rey helped provide some innovative stuff. Each man worked hard and it paid off. Miz’s commentary was gold. ***1/2

Jericho is backstage talking to his NXT rookie, Wade Barrett. He says one day, I hope you get the chance that I have, the chance to show everyone that you are the best at what you do. But when you get that chance, you need to be ready. Take advantage of it, like I am tonight. Lucky number 7. Chris Jericho, world champion for the seventh time. Can you see it? Can you feel it? Barrett says he’s in awe of Jericho’s presence. “You should be”- Jericho.

Caylen Croft vs. JTG

Striker with some great pop culture references at the start. The bell rings, and they lock up. Shad comes out, which distracts JTG. Croft clotheslines JTG. Croft lays the boots to JTG. Irish whip by Croft followed up by a back elbow for a 1 count. JTG fights back, but Croft grounds him again. Croft hits a modified side Russian legsweep for 2. JTG fights back, but again gets knocked down by Croft and covered for 2. Ortonlock by Croft, JTG fights out, but Croft back suplexes him back down to the mat for 2. Rollup by JTG gets 2! Croft drops a knee on the head of JTG, and that gets 2. Ortonlock again by Croft, JTG fights out with some big rights, and hits a modified neckbreaker! Not really sure how to call that. He spun him twice, then hit a neckbreaker. JTG ducks a clothesline, and comes off the ropes with a forearm! A clothesline by JTG, followed by a leaping back elbow! JTG goes for a monkey flip, but Croft tosses him off. Croft with a neckbreaker of his own for 2! Irish whip to the corner, Croft charges and eats a boot, and JTG hits his modified swinging neckbreaker! 1…2…3! Shad comes in post match, and drills JTG with a clothesline. Shad punches him in the face then talks some trash. He whips JTG across the ring and hits a leaping X-Factor off the top rope! He then dropkicks Shad out of the ring!

Winner: JTG via pinfall- Nice short match between the two. Croft was all right, but he worked well with JTG in this match. **

Backstage, Edge is talking with Josh Matthews. He says he can relate to Josh Swagger. They both cashed in MITB the same way. Triple Threat means that Swagger is in a tough position. Edge can either pin Jericho or pin Swagger, but either way, he’s walking out of here the new World Heavyweight Champion.

A video package hyping the Last Man Standing Match between John Cena and Batista for the WWE Championship, a Street Fight between HHH and Sheamus, and Rey Mysterio vs. Punk.

Jack Swagger (c) vs. Edge vs. Chris Jericho for the World Heavyweight Championship

Swagger does not look pleased. Jericho comes out to boos. Edge comes out last, to some pretty big pops. We even get the super SPECIAL ring announcing by Tony Chimel.

The bell rings, and Jericho goes after Edge and backs him into a corner. Swagger follows and they doubleteam Edge in the corner. Swagger throws Jericho off and lays some more rights, and Jericho rolls up Swagger with a schoolboy for 2! Oh, you devilish little heel, you! Swagger is none too enthused, and plants Jericho with a belly-to-back suplex. Edge hits Swagger from behind and goes after both guys. Irish whip by Edge to Swagger to the turnbuckle. Edge lays the boots, but Swagger comes back with a knee to the gut of Edge. Clubbing blows to the back follow. Swagger chokes Edge in the ropes. A right by Swagger precedes an Irish whip. Reversed by Edge, and Edge sends Swagger over the top rope and out of the ring! Jericho attacks from behind, and takes the advantage. Jericho works over Edge, then chokes him in the ropes. Jericho misses the running knee into the ropes! Edge with some rights in the corner, Irish whip, reversed by Jericho, off the ropes and Swagger grabs Edge, pulls him down to the mat. Jericho then hangs Edge up on the bottom rope with a Decapitator, I think. Swagger and Jericho work over Edge some more. Belly-to-back suplex by Swagger! Double Irish whip, but Edge grabs the ropes to counter! Edge sends Jericho over the top rope, then low-bridges Swagger over the top rope! Edge hits a double baseball slide to both men! Edge throws Jericho back-first into the barricade! Edge goes after Swagger now and throws him into the barricade, and then rolls him into the ring. Jericho stops him from going in, however, and lays him out. He goes after Swagger next, but Swagger counters, and tries to suplex him back into the ring! Jericho and Swagger trade blocking the suplex, and Edge comes in and drags Jericho off the apron , and Jericho hits his head on the apron in the process, while Swagger is hung up on the top rope! Nice double move there. Commercial.

Back from commercial, Edge Irish whips Swagger into the turnbuckle, charges, and misses the corner spear! Swagger covers for 2. Swagger grabs an armbar and works over the arm. Edge fights out, and goes off the ropes, ducks under two clotheslines, but gets a backbreaker by Swagger! 1…2…NO! Swagger opts to after Jericho, and knocks him off the apron. Swagger goes for the Vader Bomb! GOT IT! 1…2…2.776! Swagger backs Edge into the corner, and lands some forearms to the back and some shots to the ribs of Edge. Swagger celebrates in the ring, then goes after Edge. Edge slams Swagger’s head on the announce table, and then does it again. Jericho comes in with a right to Edge. He opts to go for Edge, and rolls him into the ring. Kick to the ribs by Jericho, followed by a back suplex! That gets a long 2. Jericho works over the back, then transitions to the Ortonlock. Edge fights out with rights, but Jericho cuts him off with a knee to the head. Irish whip to the corner, and Jericho misses on the charge! Swagger comes from behind and goes for either the gutwrench powerbomb or the Oklahoma Stampede, not sure which. I’d guess the Stampede. Edge counters with the Edge O’Matic, and tosses Swagger into Jericho’s ribs! He comes off the 2nd turnbuckle with a double clothesline for both men! He takes down both men with rights, then big boots Swagger! One for Jericho as well! He knocks Swagger off the apron and onto the announce table! Jericho rolls up Edge with the schoolboy from behind! 1…2…NO! Jericho hits Edge with a back elbow, and goes for the Lionsault! Edge moves, and Jericho lands on his feet, only to get hit with the Edge O’Matic! 1…2…2.887! Edge charges and eats a boot, Jericho goes for the bulldog but gets thrown into the turnbuckle! Edge sets for the spear! Jericho counters the spear to the Walls of Jericho! HOLY SHIT! Edge fights, but gets dragged to the middle! Swagger in, and Jericho relinquishes the hold. He locks the Walls on Swagger! Edge grabs Jericho and hits the Edgecution DDT! Swagger with a boot to the gut of Edge, goes for the Doctor Bomb! Countered by Edge to the Edgecution DDT! Edge sets for the Spear! Jericho cuts him off and covers him! 1…2…NO! Swagger with the Oklahoma Roll! 1…2…NO! CODEBREAKER BY JERICHO TO SWAGGER! Swagger rolls out of the ring. Jericho sets for the spear on Edge! Edge leapfrogs him, and goes off the ropes and hits the SPEAR! 1…2…Swagger pulls Edge off the cover and throws him into the barricade! He covers Jericho! 1…2…3!

Winner and STILL World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger via pinfall- This was a great triple threat match. Nearfalls and counters galore. It’s as if we got to see a PPV triple threat match for free. Each of the men worked hard, everything was great, and nice to Swagger get the convincing win. ****1/4

Swagger celebrates after the match. He goes after Edge and gutwrench powerbombs Edge to send a message to Orton. Jericho gets in the ring and works over the leg of Edge in between the post and steps. That looked brutal. Edge lies in the ring as Jericho looks on, walking up the ramp to end the show.

FINAL THOUGHTS: This show was great. It started out with a great promo, got sidetracked a little with two bad matches, but after that each match and each promo delivered and built towards the Extreme Rules PPV. Once again, the Blue Brand dominates, and shows RAW how it’s done. Definite thumbs up.