wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 11.15.13
Image Credit: AEW
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It’s Wednesday, you know what that means…
After a recap of the attack on MJF last week, we head straight into action with…
Orange Cassidy and Hook vs The Blackpool Combat Club (Wheeler Yuta and Jon Moxley)
Bwefore Jon and Wheeler can fully make their entrance, both Hook and Orange fly into the crowd to fight. OC takes Jon up the stairs and bites his forehead. Jon with some fists to the face. They go at it some more until Yuta gets Hook to the ring, and the match officially starts.
Yuta hits a body slam as Jon continues to beat OC down in the crowd. Yuta covers for 1..2..NO!!! Hook with a hard arm drag to Yuta. Yuta tags in Jon. Jon enters, and Hook aint scared. Hook gets the hips! GERMAN! Jon kicks out of the corner and slams Hook down then tags in Yuta. They double team with Yuta hitting a dropkick. OC is still in the crowd, presumably hurting. Yuta covers. Tag to Jon, he hits a release suplex just as Orange Cassidy makes his way over the barricade. Jon with a short clothesine attempt but Hook ducks under and tries to submit him! Jon gets to the apron, Yuta slams Hook into the barricade and here comes OC flying out of the ring! Hook gets Jon into the ring. Big T-Bone! Tag to OC! Diving DDT! OC kips up, Jon on his knees. Soft kicks from OC to the shoulders! Another! Harder, harder, harder, Jon eats them! OC goes for a DDT, Jon holds on, Yuta in, sends Hook flying, then hits a clothesline to OC!
We come back to Jon Moxley mocking OC with the cheap kicks. OC holds his hands in the air, and places them in the pockets. Jon goes to hit, but OC hops up and hits a dropkick. He reaches for a tag. Got it! Hook in! Yuta in! They meet in the middle of the ring. Hard rights from both back and forth! Like back and forth for a minute. Hook finally gets the upperhand, driving elbows into the corner, big headbutt, hooks the hips, Northern Lights! Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Jon on the apron and Hook just gives him a hard right. Hook with another right, Yuta slings back into the ring, drops under, German to Hook! Roll through from Hook and he hits his own! Yuta rolls through this time, spins for a right elbow. Hook and he collide with a clothesline! The ref starts the count.
Both men rise around 8, holding each other up by the head. Jon comes in to attack Hook, but here comes OC to send Jon outside and send him into the barricade. In the ring, Hook rolls Yuta up for 1..2…NO!! Big lariat. Hook wants to finish it. Jon in. CUTTER from Jon! He grabs Hook, Yuta rolls out. Jon underhooks but OC in with an Orange Punch! JON DOESN’T GO DOWN!!! HE EATS IT! OC turns! He looks at his fist, Jon with a huge kick to OC, sending him outside! Hook is up. REDRUM!!!!
Jon walks Hook over to Yuta, Yuta hits a right hand, Death Rider from Jon! SEATBELT FROM YUTA! Pin for 1..2….3!!!!!
Winners: Jon Moxley and Wheeler Yuta
WE love an Orange Cassidy opener.
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: Stopwatch Issues (the issue is I did not start it)
Jon on the mic. He tells OC he’s nothing, he’s never been nothing. This weekend, Jon will put the world back on its axis. He will grind OC into dust and win back the title.
Up next, the face-to-face of Swerve and Hangman! Apparently, there is a no contact clause, or their match will be called off.
Swerve is out first with Prince Nana, the dancing fool.
Hangman is out next.
Tony asks Swerve how he can justify going into a man’s house, but Swerve rips the mic from Tony only from Hangman to take the mic, saying he has an answer. Swerve is a fraud, a phoney, a dumbass. Dumber today than he was two years ago when his dumbass got fired. He told Page two months ago that he wanted to be World Champ, but Page says Swerve doesn’t have it in him. He cant cut it. He is not the man that he thinks he is. This is why his fiancé left him, why his kids wont talk to him. Swerve wanted to make it personal? Swerve is a coward. He doent surround himself with friends or family, but with yes men, and if he wasn’t such a dumbass, he’d know that Prince Nana is just using Swerve. Nana comes out, dances, sells t-shirts, and makes his living off of Swerve’s back. When the show is over, he goes down to the hotel parking lot to buy weed from a high school kid. After he beats Swerve’s ass, he’s going to beat Nana’s ass and steal his weed. Swerve, yells Page, look at him. Swerve is a child. He has taught kids a lot of lessons, and this Saturday, he will teach Swerve the last lesson of his life. Swerve should have never ever come into Page’s house. WE don’t need lawyers, the cops, because at Full Gear, he is judge, jury, and executioner. He will take Swerve to spend an eternity in Swerve’s house at the bottom of hell.
Swerve goes for the mic, but Page ain’t done. Tonight’s stip was that they couldn’t touch one another, but they didn’t say shit about Nana.
Hangman with a hard right to Nana. He mounts and punches over and over. Security comes down, and Swerve grabs Nana, then pulls him out the ring. Page continues to beat up security, complete with a Buckshot as Swerve and Nana stand at the bottom of the ramp.
Backstage, we are with Roderick Strong and The Kingdom.
Strong wants to call Cole. We get the screen again, and Adam Cole is chillin in bed. Strong tells him that he knows who the devil is. It’s definitely Max. Cole says this is tiresome, maybe Strong is The Devil. Strong says on his life, Max is the devil. Cole hangs up.
Skye Blue vs Red Velvet
We get a bit of a staredown then a lockup. Red works the left arm, Blue flips out and reverses. Skye switches to a hammerlock, locks the waist, Red switches, Skye does too. Red kicks back, hops off the bottom rope with a crossbody. Skye with an arm drag. Red hits her own. They both try for an arm drag, but Red stops it. They stand, stare each other down some, Skye looks at her like Michael Myers. Skye hits the ropes, jumps up, Red sweeps her out of the air, and drops a moonsault. Int othe corner with some rights and lefts. Red kicks Skye down in the corner. Boot to the chin with a split. MSnapmare out of the corner. Red hits the ropes, big kick to Skye, cover for 1..2..NO!!!
We come back from the break, and the girls are rolling each other up for a bunch of pins. After several, both ladies up and kick, only to knock each other out. The ref starts the count. Both up about four. Red hits a clothesline, then a back elbow, she runs the ropes, wheelbarrow and a sloppy bulldog. Red hits the rope, dives with double knees ot the back of Blue’s neck. Red misses an enziguri, Skye hits the ropes, tries for Coee Blue, Red escapes, tries for the wheelbarrow, but Skye locks the arms up, spins Red and slams her down on her face with a Skyefall! Cover for 1..2….NO!!!! Skye runs with a high knee, but Red catches her and hits a powerbomb to Skye! Cover! 1..2..N!O! Red corners Skye, sits her up top, hits some rights, then alys her back and chops the stomach. Red stands up, hops onto Skye, spins, gets a destroyer off the top rope! Red tries to end it, Skye holds on, rolls through, big kick to Red’s head.
Skye hits the ropes, big kick from Red. Kick to the shin, tries for a spinning kick, Skye catches, hits a knee. Code Blue! It is NOT pretty. Pin for 1…2..3!!
Winner: Skye Blue
They got really sloppy there near the end, but one thing I have to give both girls props for is the fact that they are trying their damnedest to be better, and – for the most part – they are getting better. So good for them.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 10:34
We get a Miro video package covering his happenings over on Collision.
Backstage, we are with Mariah May and RJ who gets a chance to interview Toni Storm. Mariah knocks, the door opens, and the screen goes black and white. The door slams, and we are back to color. RJ knocks again, and Mariah comes in to see Toni with cucumbers on her face. Mariah fangirls and tells Toni she loves her. Toni says she didn’t catch a word of that. She is indisposed! Mariah says if Toni needs anything, let her know.
Toni says to her butler to contact studio director, Mr. Khan. Hahaha. She wants a tune-up match on Friday and a loofah.
Samoa Joe vs This Dood
[Footage of a Murder Redacted]
Winner: Samoa Joe
Squish
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: Short
Samoa Joe on the mic. He gives Cali a shoutout. He calls out MJF, says since he is in Joe’s hood, he extends his offer of friendship. Trust him, the time is limited. Whether MJF has his friendship or not, Joe is inevitable.
The Young Bucks vs Penta and Kommander
Kommande rand Nick to start. They do some fancy stuff, highlighting Kommander’s flippy stuff. A side headlock slows it down. Penta tags himself in. Nick hits asnapmare, Mat gets a blind tag. Nick slams Kommander, tries for an elbo, In comes Penta to try his own, then Matt, all four men collide with kicks then all four men kip up. Bucks extend hands for a shake, release, then bam Superkicks from Bucks. They shake each other’s hands. Matt tries to fly outside, lands on the apron, Nick flies over the top rope onto the Luchas. Nick rols Penta into the ring. Matt enters the ring. He runs…right into a kick. Another kick from Penta t othe face of Matt. Tag to Kommander, he hits the ropes, springboards wit a crossbody. Throat thrust from Matt. Whip to Kommander, Matt runs into a back elbow, right to Nick, Nick hops in and slams Kommander’s face down hard, then gets assisted into a rana onto Penta.
We are back and Kommander hits the craziest Rana ever off the top. Nick is on the apron, Kommander walks the apron and hits a Rana to Nick, sending him into Matt. Penta gets the tag. He runs up the corner and flies with a crossbody onto both Bucks. Penta rolls Matt into the ring, ducks under, slingblade to Matt! He hits the ropes again, dives over and onto Nick! SLingblade to Nick! Penta rolls Nick in, Superkick to Matt, one for Nick, Kommander to the top rope, steps onto the shoulders of Penta and hits DDTs on both brothers! Made in Japan! Cover! 1..2…NO!!! Nick stops the pin. Tag to Kommander, in he comes to drag Matt to the corner. Kommander to the top rope. He walks the ropes again then hits a shooting star, lands on his feet, Matt is waiting, gets a northern Lights, another, in comes Penta, and Matt hits two.
On the apron, Penta kicks Nick then locks up for Fear Factor. HE HITS IT!! IN the ring, Kommander with a rollup into a sitout for 1..2..NO!!! Penta on the apron. Tag. In comes Penta lifts Matt onto his shoulders, Kommander up top again, walks the ropes, dives onto Matt, off his back into a Destroyer to Nick! Penta slams Matt down. Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Penta with a chop to Matt. Right hand to Penta. They trade blows. Matt with a barrage, Penta with a superkick. Penta hits the ropes, Matt with a superkick. Penta and him collide with a clothesline, a kick, another kick to the knee. Tag to Nick, he gets a kick,
Kommander tags himself in, high kick, springboard, but Nick with a LOW BLOW!! ANOTHER ONE TO PENTA!! Knox was busy with Matt! JUDAS EFFECT FROM NICK!!! Tag to Matt. BTE TRIGGER TO KOMMANDER! Cover! 1..2…3!!!
Winners: The Young Bucks
It’s been a while since I’ve said it, but probably because it’s been a while since they’ve done it, but this was indyriffic as hell.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 11:59
The Young Bucks cut a small promo backstage saying this is the new Bucks, they don’t care. In comes Kenny Omega who is upset about this. Bucks say their beef is not with Kenny, it’s with Jericho, and after they win, Kenny can rejoin them and they can do The Elite thing again.
In comes Chris Jericho to tell Kenny to leave these kids alone. Matt waits for Jericho to turn his back then shoves him. They fight a bit until security stops them.
The Gunns vs That Dood and The Other Dood
Another squash.
Winners: The Gunns
Not necessary…
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: None
The Gunns grab a mic to tell MJF that his titles will be gone.
I feel like this coulda been an e-mail…
Wardlow video package. He says MJF’s time is running out.
Powerhouse Hobbs, Konosuke Takeshita, Kyle Fletcher, and Brian Cage vs Kenny Omega, Chris Jericho, Paul Wight, and Kota Ibushi
Wight, for some reason, is wearing a full on suit. As soon as he makes his entrance, all eight men go at it on the ramp. Jericho has a bat, and he’s beating down Fletcher with it. Takeshita and Ibushi are going at it. Wight has Cage hurting at the top of the ramp. In comes Fletcher, and Wight gives him a chop then a chokeslam off the stage onto some tables down below. Looks like Fletcher definitely hit his head hard.
Wight leaves as Jericho beats down someone with a crate. Lol.
IN the ring, Cage is with Kota. Kota with a rana sends Cage out, but here is Takeshita. Right elbows from Takeshita. Big elbow from Ibushi. Omega in. Chop to Takeshita. Whip and Kota and Omega hop over, big kick from Kota, leg lariat to the back of the head from Omega. Stereo moonsaults from Omega and Kota to the outside.
We get some footage of outside the arena where Wight is chopping Hobbs across the chest on top of a car.
Back to the ring and Omega high kicks Takeshita. Jericho attacks Cage with some nearby plunder. Omega has a barbedwire wrapped bat and tries to scrape Takeshita’s forehead but Takeshita escapes and sends Omega into a nearby menu.
At the top of the ramp, Ibushi has a bike. He rides down the bicycle with a steel pipe in his hand. He clocks Fletcher, Takeshita, then here comes Brian to clothesline him off the bike.
Back outside, and Hobbs and Show are on a large pile of wood. Hobbs has some trouble, but lifts Show then drops him onto the car.
Back in the ring, Takeshita is swinging the bike into people! He hits omega! He hits Ibushi! BRAINBUSTER ONTO THE BIKE!!!
BACK FROM THE BREAK and Fletcher and Cage have Omega hurting in the middle of the ring. There is a plastic pallet in the ring, and Omega meets it the hard way as Fletcher and Cage hit him with a suplex. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Fletcher has found some glass bottles. He looks to swing on Omega, Omega hits a back elbow, runs with a high knee. Cage locks up for a German, Omega lands on his..knee, Snapdragon!
Takeshita and Jericho are in the food court area, goin at it with a crowd around them.
Omega has the bottle. Fletcher hits the ropes. Kenny with the bottle to the forehead, exploding it! Cage with a HUGE clothesline! Kota off the top rope with a missile dropkick.
Jericho hits Takeshita with a Judas Effect and a fire extinguisher.
Back in the ring, Omega and Ibushi look to end Cage with a BTE Trigger, but Hobbs is back! He hits a clothesline to both, then a World’s Most Dangerous Slam to Omega. Fletcher is shown bleeding from the forehead. Cage grabs Kenny and pulls ihm up on the corner. SUPLEX THROUGH TABLES ON THE OUTSIDE!!!
SPINEBUSTER FROM HOBBS TO KOTA!!!
We are BACK AGAIN and Hobbs has Jericho hurting in the corner. Jericho with a surprise Codebreaker to Hobbs! Cage comes in for an F5. Omega hits him with a big face plant, Fletcher is in with a half and half suplex. Fletcher grabs Kota up to the apron, right hands from Kota, he lfits for a body slam, but Fletcher elbows out, sets up for a piledriver, PILEDRIVER THROUGH THE SIGNAGE ACROSS SIX CHAIRS!!!
Hobbs, Jericho, and Omega are in the ring. Omega kicks him. Judas Effect to Hobbs! Hobbs is still standing! Jericho leaves the ring. Running knee from Omega. Jericho has duct tape! Omega and Jericho tape Hobbs to the ropes! Hobbs screams for Jericho to do something. He dares Jericho! So Jericho puts some tape around the mouth of Hobbs. Omega asks for some chairs. Kota is up and shoots some in there. Omega bangs a sign over the haed, a chair to the gut, a bottle broken over the head of Hobbs. But Cage is here! Discus Lariat! Superkick to Jericho! Cage wit a pumphandle into a sloppy driver. Cage grabs Omega, locks the head, Drill Cla—-NO!! Omega floats off, big kbee to the head, Jericho with the bat! Poison Rana to Cage!!!
Kenny hits the ropes. V-TRIGGER! One for Cage! One for Hobbs!!! ONE-WINGED ANGEL TO CAGE!!! COVER!! 1……2….3!!!!
Winners: Chris Jericho, Kenny Omega, Paul Wight, and Kota ibushi
I didn’t outright HATE this match, but I certainly didn’t enjoy it. I’m not some fan saying they shouldn’t be doing this dangerous stuff, because it was tame in terms of what we’ve seen before. But in terms of match quality and layout, just a lot of messiness, carelessness, and setup for things that, ultimately, did little to payoff. I did enjoy Takeshita just swinging around a bicycle though.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 21:05
MJF, our scumbag, is here. He says that after the attack last week, no matter how many times he tries to outrun his past, it will catch up. He keeps trying to better himself, but every time he lets someone in, those people get hurt. Sometimes he feels cursed. He wants to say to The Acclaimed what he said to Cole. He is sorry that they got caught in the crossfires of his life. Sorry they got hurt. He hopes they feel better.
Ever since he can remember, all he’s ever wanted to be is a World Champion. Ok, Mr. Goodfellas.
He has made it to the mountain top. But the air is thin. He looks down, and he sees men climbing to shove him off the top. He’s man enough to admit that he is afraid. He could lose all he’s worked for in the blink of an eye, but moreso he’s afraid he’s going to let us down. The old him would have ran, but he’s done letting his past dictate his future and present. He is not willing to quit or give up his spot. He may be afraid, but you better send a whole army to get his ass to come down that mountain.
Jay White has been walking around a title he has not yet earned. Jay has a shot to take MJF’s spot, but he doesn’t think Jay can. He doesn’t think anyone can. Because he is MJF, and he is better than us and we know it.
A message to the man who stole his Devil mask, hired those goons. Heed MJF’s words; he will find out who he is, and when he does, there will be hell to pay.
Jay White is here with his title.
He tells Max to stop, drop the act. He is embarrassing himself. He is trying so hard to be the hero, but that’s just not who MJF is. He is the villain. Always will be. He’s not fooling anyone with the devil mask distractions. We’ve heard it over and over; MJF is The Devil. No one is one his level, right? MJF is not the hero. Not the people’s hero. MJF will be dropped because he means nothing to us, just like we mean nothing to him. They both know MJF’s title reign is almost over, that Jay is better than him, and here comes the attack…
Juice and The Gunns try to attack, but MJF handles it well, stomping everyone out until Juice hits MJF with a hard left. 3:10 to Yuma to MJF. In comes Jay White to grab MJF and hit The Blade Runner. Jay pins MJF. Juice counts the 1..2..3!!!
End Show
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