wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s WWE RAW Review 10.26.20
Image Credit: WWE
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What up, peeps! You may notice that there’s no AJ Lee and that Alexa Bliss has taken over! I just hit Tony Acero over the head with the Money in the Bank briefcase Tucker-style and am taking over Raw! (At least until he gets here, he’s running a bit late). We’re gonna be starting with Drew McIntyre in the ring, so that should be a segment!
We start with a recap of McIntyre’s loss to Randy Orton at Hell in a Cell including his Cell fall, all that coughing and crawling, and then the finish where Orton dodged the Claymore and hit the RKO for his 14th world championship.
And now we’re into the theme song. I know it has haters but I dig this song and while it’s an odd choice for Raw, I think they put together pretty effectively.
And here comes McIntyre down the ring. He’s not in his ring gear and has that very Drew-esque look on his face. He gets a mic and says that he’s been trying to think of the words to best express how he feels losing the title to Orton last night. He says he hes no excuses; just one promise. He will be WWE Champion once again. He says there’s a quote from Rocky: it’s not about how hard you hit, but how hard you get hit. If you follow his career, you’ll know no matter how he gets knocked down, he’ll get back up twice as hard. And why is he in such a good mood after last night? If we could read his mind right now, if we knew what was going on up there, we’d be scared.
And HERE COMES THE MIZ. Oh boy. Miz comes out with Morrison. Miz calls for applause for Miz and McIntyre tells them to choose their words carefully. They say Drew’s run is very impressive: almost as impressive as being two-time Mr. MITB. Miz says all good things come to an end, like Otis’ MITB run and Drew’s reign. They want to commend Drew and say they don’t have to worry about facing Orton, because Miz has the briefcase and he wants everyone to understand that it gives him a World Title match any time he wants. He’s defended it before and became WWE Champion by beating Randy Orton. That happened right here in Orlando, Miz dodged an RKO and hit the Skyll Crushing Finale, Angry Miz girl was upset and then he ran backstage and celebrated with his wife Maryse. He says he was talking to Maryse and that history could repeat itself because Orton’s a guest on Moment of Bliss. Morrison says things could be worse, and Miz says imagine if he’d won? He could have been standing here in front of Miz and Morrison outnumbered and have Miz cash in. Morrison says look at the bright side; there’s no target on his back and no need to worry about Miz anymore. He says he hopes it doesn’t take 19 years for him to get the title — and McIntyre headbutts Miz! Morrison tries to do a Scottish brogue and McIntyre takes him down, then starts to throw him across the ring! Miz scurried away and McIntyre pulls Morrison in the ring — but Miz slides in and chop blocks McIntyre, allowing Morrison to escape. McIntyre stomps Miz’s shades and McIntyre says he’s got an idea to run by management; it’s going to be a bad night for Miz and Morrison. “Idiots.”
The announcers break down the three Survivor Series qualifiers for tonight: Keith Lee vs. Elias, Matt Riddle vs. Sheamus, and Jeff Hardy vs. AJ Styles.
Big thanks to Jeremy Thomas for taking care of the report for me during that opening. I’ve found Miz and Morrison to be deplorable, so refused to do even the least of work with regards to them. Lol, jk, it was LA traffic.
Oh, joy, it’s that time of the year where we get to pretend that people have brand loyalty!
AJ is here to talk about being captain of Team Raw, and in order to do that, he’s gotta beat the guy he’s been facing on Smackdown over the summer. See how fresh and new this product is?!?!
Match 1: AJ Styles vs Jeff Hardy
Jeff is quick to send Aj to the outside, then fly off the top rope, right into the hands of the big bad body guard of AJ.
Back from a break, and AJ hits an enziguri in the ring. Brainbuster from AJ get a 1..2..NO!!! So did the big guy just lay Jeff down softly?
AJ heads to the apron. He readies the forearm. AJ struggles to stand. He heads to the corner on his hands and knees. AJ comes back in and misses a splash. Inverted atomic drop. Leg drop then a dropkick! Splash and a cover for 1..2..NO!!! Jeff with a kick to AJ then a swinging kick to AJ in the corner. Cover from Jeff for 1..2…NO!!! knee to the back from AJ. Side Russian from Jeff. Stacked cover from Jeff. 1….2…NO!!! AJ with Torture Rack. He spins Jeff out and Jeff lands on his back. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Styles for aa Clash, Jeff escapes, goes for Twist of Fate, Pele kick is reversed, Jeff with a suplex onto AJ! Jeff to the top rope. He stops to stare at the big guy. That’s enough to distract, and AJ clips Jeff, causing him to tumble down from the corner. AJ to the apron.
Jeff kicks him, locks up for Twist of Fate, AJ sends him into the post, then clotheslines Jeff to the outside. Phenomenal Forearm. Pin for 1..2…3!!!
Winner:
Fortunately, the big guy didn’t do much during the match. Unfortunately, jeff is apparently not immune to the disease that makes most wrestlers seemingly an idiot when someone is outside. In terms of wrestling, AJ is great, but we’ve seen this match before and the only difference was a torture rack bomb.
Total Rating: *1/2
Match Time: 9:58
As AJ celebrates at the top of the ramp, Elias clocks Jeff Hardy with a guitar from behind.
R-TRUTH is backstage, and he says that he will be out tonight to scout his competition. This is dangerous, of course, but being champion is dangerous. He eats and sleeps dangerously. His third middle name is Dangerously.
Match 2: Drew Gulak and Akira Tozawa vs Lince Dorado and Gran Metalik
Akira and Lince ot start. Akira goes full ninja, and strikes the throat. Tag to Drew who comes in to double team against Lince. Axes to the chest and Drew covers for a less than 1. Drew drops down Lince across his knee. Drew with a fist to the gut, and he spins it a abit. Lince hits the ropes and flies off with aflip and an X-Factor.
R-Truth’s music hits, and Truth comes out to scope the talent. Akira drops down from the apron and calls a ref over to roll Truth up for 1..2..NO!!! Truth sends akira into the barriade. Metalik flies off the apron and Truth ducks under and enters the ring. Lince covers for 1..2..NO!!! Drew tosses him aside and covers for 1..2..NO!!!
Lince to the top rope. Flies off the top with a crossbody and a pin to Drew for 1..2…3!!
Winner: Not a single soul. Especially not Drew
Fuck you
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 2:08
Akira rolls up Truth, then Lince, then Drew tries, all of them getting a 2 count.
WE RETURN to Firefly Funhouse!
All the puppets are here for a feast! In comes Bray to invite us to his very mad tea party. RAmblin tells Bray to stop bein upset and cheer up. Bray says not that kind of mad.
In comes Alexa, who has tea. Splendid, says Bray. She made it extra special for Ramblin Rabbit. It’s delicious. What’s in it? Arsenic. This, of course, kills Ramblin Rabbit.
Bray laughs it off, as does Alexa. They’re all a little mad around here. But how do we know Alexa is mad? Well, she must be. Bray explains that this is a magical place. He comforts and heels and there is only one thing you have to do. LET HIM IN.
Alexa explains she’s going to speak to Orton later tonight. Bray doesn’t seem to happy with this. Ramblin turns out ok, and tells his wife that he is coming home. Bray murders him with Seth’s staff.
BACKSTAGE, Keith Lee speaks to Charley about what Braun did last week. He couldn’t beat Lee clean, so he went below the belt. He likes to call himself a monster, but the next time Lee faces Braun, he will show him a real monster. Not tonight, though. Tonight, he will destroy Elias and go on to Survivor Series. Prepare ourselves, because he is about to walk with Elias.
WE RETURN to Nia who comes to Pearce with a list of who she thinks she should be on Team RAW for the women, since she is team captain. Pearce says Nia is not team captain. Shayna says, of course, she is, and hands over her own list – which Nia is not on. Pearce tells them he will take both lists into consideration, but neither are team captain.
ELIAS is in the ring strumming his instrument.
He says that tonight, they are celebrating his new album. It will change your life, so pick it up. Right now, he’s at #2 on the chart. Let’s get to #1. It’s called “Universal Truth,” and that’s because there is a truth, and it is….
Hot Pockets should only be eaten while drunk.
Match 2: Elias vs Keith Lee
Lockup to start, and Elias gets a side headlock. Lee shoves him to the ropes and tackles him down. Elias works the left arm. Shoulder to shoulder from lee, sending Elias down. Another shoulder. Lee whips and Elias hit a back elbow. Whip but Lee holds on, sends Elias, hops over Elias, under, crossbody to Elias! Lee to the outside. Elias hangs him up on the ropes. Kick through the ropes to Lee. Elias leaves the ring. Lee with a huge tackle, sending Elias over the announce booth!
We are back and Lee works the left arm from behind. He drops an elbow to the shoulder. Another. Lee wants a powerbomb, but Elias drops some fists then head scissors. High knee to Lee. Lee rolls to the apron. Elias to the top rope. He dives off with an axe handle. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Elias stomps Lee. Kicks. A knee drop to the right arm. Lee powers out of a kickout. Lee takes advantage until Elias mule kicks out of the corner then drops Lee face first. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Elias to the top rope.
Jeff Hardy’s music hits, and Elias, on the top rope, looks around for him.
It appears he suffers the same disease Jeff does as his distraction allows for Lee to grab him, take him off the corner, and hit a Spirit Bomb. Pin for 1.2…3!!!!
Winner: Keith Lee
A tame run-of-the-mill match, which is not something you want to say for Lee, who just recently got to RAW, and Elias who just returned to RAW.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 10:05
Elias takes way to long to show anger about his loss. Jeff shows up to smack him across the back with a guitar and tell him “Amen.”
Backstage, someone pooped in The Hurt Business’s bathroom.
AFTER A VIDEO PACKAGE, Orton is with Charley and she wonders if he is concerned about The Fiend making an appearance. He says no, he is not concerned. He doesn’t care if it’s Reigns, Bray, or even Drew, at the end of the day, the only people that need to be concerned are those that cross randy Orton.
Y’all, I swear to Jeebus, I fell asleep.
Match 3: Tag Team Elimination Match
Retribution vs The Hurt Business
Tag to MVP who corners T-Bar an hits the rights and lefts, beatin down T-Bar. Head to the buckle. Right hand to Bar. MVP shouts to Ali that he’s gonna get what’s coming from him. Tag to Mace, drops a hard elbow to the shoulder, yelling that this is for Slapjack. Tag to Jack who comes in with a headbutt.Cover for 1..2..NO!! Uppercut to MVp. Another. Right hand to MVP. MVp with a drop toe hold to Jack into the buckle. MVP with a pump kick in the corner. MVP locks up, suplex out of the corner. Cover for 1..2.NO!! Ali there to stop the pni.
Mia Young is on the apron. She fakes that she has bugs on her. She shkaes them off, rolls into the ring, then screams and collapses. Jack rolls MPV up for 1..2…3!!!!
MVP has been eliminated
MVP is pissed. “Reckoning” continues to pretend she has bugs all over her, shaking around in the ring, and scratching at her body.
We come back, and Yim has been sent to the back. Slapjack is in the ring with Lashley, and Lashley sends the boy into the corner the hard way. Kick out the corner. He flies for a DDT, Lashey sends him off. SPEAR! Cover for 1..2..3!!!
Slapjack has ben eliminated
T-Bar rushes in and drops some hard rights to the back. Lashley sends him to the outside. T-Bar pulls him out and hits some right hands. He beats down Lashley up the ramp and the ref starts the count loud enough for us to know what happens next.
Lashley beats down T-Bar into the crowd, fighting him away as ref hits 9.
Bobby Lashley and T-Bar have been eliminated
Ali orders Mace to enter. Cedric is in next. Ali sends Mace into a right hand, Cedric beats him up but Mace no sells and hits a high leg lariat. Mace wants Cedric to feel every ounce of his sins. Mace with a back elbow in the corner. Cedric drops down to his knees. Cedric with a right, but Mace hits harder. Mace drags Cedric into the center, Cedric hits a right, tries for a tag, Mace won’t let go, pulls Cedric, Cedric hits a dropkick to the leg, shoves ali off the corner, runs into a GOOZLE!!!! Cedric can’t break it, gets kicked, kicks back, blind tag from Shelton. Mace didn’t see. Springboard Nueralizer! Pay Dirt and a pin for 1..2…3!!!
Mace has been eliminated
Shelton drops Ali with right hands, hits the ropes, he catches Ali. Fallaway Slam. Corner and a tag to Cedric. Right hands to Ali. Cedric sends Ali to the outside. Right hands beat Ali down in the corner. Ref calls for the break. Cedric whips Ali, Ali dropkicks Shelton off the apron! Kick to Cedric! Runs, back body drop to Ali! Cedric runs and kicks Ali out of the ring hard. Cedric slides to the outside. CHAIR TO CEDRIC!
Ali has been disqualified.
Winners: The Hurt Business
Holy shit, what is the point of all this?
Total Rating: **
Match Time: Stopwatch issues
Ali goes to attack Cedric again, but Shelton is there to prevent the attack. Out come MVP and Lashley to stop Ali, but Ali runs through the crowd to the back.
Backstage, Angel Garza has a rose for Mandy Rose. Rose says Otis has had a rough 24 hours, but he will bounce back, and yes, they are “still close.”
He is about to offer the rose to Dana, but in comes Nia. Nia takes his rose. Nia tells them that if the two of them end up on their team.
Dana says no, they haven’t been beaten since they’ve been on RAW, so it’s their team – nia and Shayna better fall in line or watch their backs.
Huh?
Shayna questions Nia’s choices of men.
DREW MCINTYRE is here, and he seems way too pleased considering he lost his title last night.
Match 4: The Miz vs Drew McIntyre
Miz goes for the leg, but it doesn’t quite work. Drew with a chop in the corner. Right hand. Elbow to Miz. He sends Miz to the outside and follows. He shoves Drew into the stairs.
Back in the ring, and Miz is attacking in the corner. Drew with some chops. Whip and a missed right hand. Kick to the knee of Drew. DDT to Drew. Miz kicks the face, Drew stands up, pissed. Sends Miz to the corner. Miz catches a kick and drops it onto his shoulder, hurting the knee. Miz wraps the leg around the bottom rope. Miz kicks the chest. Yes kicks in the chest. Miz hits the corner, bonuces off, Drew hits a clothesline, another. Whip to the corner, Belly to Belly to Miz. Miz sends Miz into the corner, then hits another suplex over the head. Neckbreaker. Kip up, and Miz is screwed, according tho Drew. Drew goes for the Future Shock, Miz escapes and sends Drew to the outside. Morrison tries to hit him with the briefcase, but Drew suplexes him over the top rope. Drew tosses the briefcase into the side stage.
Into the ring, CLAYMORE! Pin for 1..2….3!!!
Winner: The Miz
Looks like we’ll be going to the tried and true Mr. MITB Loser sequence of The Miz’s briefcase won, where if you have the briefcase, you will almost always lose because they think said briefcase creates immunity. It does not. At least the action was fun.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 4:13
Backstage, The New Day are pretending to be The Street Profits.
Woods brings up Survivor Series. Kofi says champs will take on champs. Haha. Kofi falls asleep a few times, and Woods says you can’t go full Dawkins. Woods wants his shot at Corbin for the King of the Ring, but Kofi says no they’re taking on The Street Profits. Kofi overuses “Fam” and that’s great.
IN comes the running Asuka, who says that they want the smoke.
………
Asuka will take on Sasha Banks.
That’s hot.
Randy Orton will take on Reigns at Survivor Series as well.
In comes MVP to shout out that Lashley will be bringing the hurt to the IC Champ, and for good measure, they’ve got their sights set on the tag team champions. ASuka says he will try and he will fail. Know why? Because New Day Rocks.
BACKSTAGE, Charley asks Drew if this is the first step to him reclaiming the title. Drew says sure, he’ll take however many it takes. Speaking of which, Orton is on A Moment of Bliss later, right? Ok, here’s the Drew Guarantee. Orton will have a moment tonight, but it wont be one of bliss.
IN THE RING, Adam Pearce and Ginger Buck stand tall. Pearce bring up the five women that will make up Team Raw:
Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler are announced first.
Buck announces Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke to join them.
Nia cuts Adam off, telling him to slow down. She wants Nia to announce the fifth and final member. Shanya says to wait a second, it’s clearly Shyna. Everyone bickers over who is the team captain.
Pearce says the final member will be settled in a Fatal Four Way with…
Lana, Nikki Cross, Lacey Evans, and Peyton Royce.
Match 5: Peyton Royce vs Lacey Evans vs Nikki Cross vs Lana
Nikki and Lana lock up. Lacey and Peyton do the same. Peyton sends Lacey outside while Lan sends Nikki outside onto Lacey and Peyton, and we go to break.
BACK and Peyton has Nikki in a submission around the ropes. Lana misses a right hand, Peyton misses a kick, Lana does as well, Peyton with a kick, then she sends Lana into the corner. Lacey enters and gets kicked right back out by Peyton. Peyton turns and Nikki rolls her up for 1..2..NO!!! Peyton with a clothesline. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Peyton with a chin lock from behind. Nikki rolls Peyton into the corner. Nikki misses a splash. Peyton gets her to the apron. Head to the mat. Nikki flies off the apron with a splash to Lana. She just sits on her stomach then heads to the steps and flies off with a DDT to Lacey. Nikki rolls into the ring an to the top rope. Nikki flies off with a crossbody. Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Lana to the apron. Nikki hits her with a right hand. Nikki locks up for a suplex attempt. Lana with a high kick. She hops over the top rope and grabs Nikki’s head, Lacey’s in with Woman’s Right to Lana. Rollup from Nikki for 1..2..NO!!! Peyton there to stop it, hits a leg lariat, grabs Nikki and lifts then drops her onto Lacey. Peyton covers for 1..2.NO!! Lacey kicks out. Peyton grabs Nikki. She sits Nikki onto the top rope, Nikki shoves Peyton. Lacey up with a right hand. She grabs Nikki, goes for a supelrplex, but Nikki shoves her off. Peyton with a high kick to Nikki’s face. Peyton up. Grabs the head. Nikki shoves Peyton off the corner. Pacey up now, right hand to the chest.
Lacey locks the head. Peyton grabs Lacey from behind for a suplex, and lacey pulls Nikki off with a superplex. Lana rolls in and covers for 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Lana
Ugh..
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 8:08
Matt Riddle is out for some action. My laptop is at 3%. My charger is at the bar. This oughta be fun.
ALI is pissed backstage. He says Retribution is not failing. It’s not a team. It’s a mission. The good men and women that stand by him are willing to sacrifice everything for this mission. Understand one thing; they win when we suffer, and we will win because they decide when we will get shut down.
Match 6: Matt Riddle vs Sheamus
Sheamus with a side headlock, backing Riddle into the ropes, but Riddle is able to roll Sheamus into the corner and deadlift with a double leg takedown. He continues to try and wrestle, but Sheamus rolls to the outside. Sheamus is annoyed, re-enters the ring, and we get another lockup. Sheamus with a hard headlock takedown. Riddle rolls onto one shoulder, Sheamus with a side headlock, and another takedown. Right hands to the chin of Sheamus. Another hard right. Riddle transitions into an arm bar. Sheamus turns this into a pin but only gets a 1. SPinebuster fro,m Sheamus! Gutwrench suplex to Sheamus. Sheamus with a go behind, Riddle turns it into a wrist lock, Sheamus with Irish Curse! Sheamus grabs the head and sends Riddle onto the top ropes then grabs Riddle and hits the ten beats against the ropes. Sheamus is NOT holding a thing back. Riddle turns, grabs the arm, and locks in an arm bar draped over the ropes! He breaks the hold for a 4 count then sends Sheamus to the outside. Riddle to the apron. Punt kick to Sheamus. He flie off the middle rope onto Sheamus and we go to break!
WE are back, and Sheamus has taken over. Riddle tries to fight out but he just gets hit with a backbreaker and goes down hard. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Sheamus grabs Riddle by the nose and pulls back the arm of Riddle. Riddle turns into the hold, hitting right hands and a headbutt to thechest. Knee from Sheamus, right hands and a flurry from Riddle. Kick, ducks under, high kick to the head, kip up, Riddle with a kick to the head! Hits the ropes. Running kick to the chest. Broton! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Riddle rushes the corner hits a hard right hand, hits the ropes and hits afoerarm. Sheamus with some elbows! Knee strike! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Sheamus stands first, heads to the top rope. Riddle is up! He grabs the head on the top rope, attacks the back a few times, Sheamus shoves Riddle down, Riddle runs up, locks the head, EXPLODER OFF THE TOP ROPE!!! Cover for 1..2….NO!!!! Riddle to the top rope. He flies off with a Floating Bro, but Sheamus has the knees up!!! Sheamus attacks the back with a hard right hand to the kidneys. Again. Sheamus goes for Irish Curse, but Riddle locks in the sleeper hold!!!!! Sheamus backs Riddle into the corner. Twice. Riddle hops on with a sleeper again. Sheamus tosses him off, goes for a Brogue, Riddle side steps.
GERMAN SUPLEX TO SHEAMUS!!!! 1…2….NO!!!!! Riddle lifts Sheamus, hits a right, lifts Sheamus, can’t hold onto it. BROGUE KICK! PIN! 1…2…3!!!
Winner: Sheamus
Well this was surprising as all hell! What a banger of a match! Unfortunately, the stakes are not realll all that high, as there should be no reason outside of maybe money that either of these men should even want to be on a team for a show they just got to, and a show that really is no different than Smackdown. But that’s adding logic to what was a bad ass match. These guys deserve a round of applause when they get to the back, because they had no right to give us something this good on what has been a shit episode of RAW.
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: Timing Issues
Alexa is in the middle of the ring with pigtails, overalls that say “Yowie Wowie,” and a striped shirt. She’s all smiles, and her song has a bit of a twist to it. She introduces Orton with a smile.
Alexa offers Orton a seat, but he’s good – he thinks he’ll stand. Alexa wants to talk about his win. Did it surprise him that he was able to deliver a super-duper performance?
Orton wonders what there is to be surprised about. What’s surprising – does Alexa have one for him? Alexa chuckles, then says no surprises. What good talk show host wouldnt want a WWE Champion on their show? Duh? Especially when Orton and Drew…BURNED THE HOUSE DOWN.
OooooOOOOooOOO
And there it is, says Orton. Listen, Bliss. He knows Bray better than anyone. He knows that he’s close, so he will ask one time – Where is The Fiend?
Bliss laughs it off, chuckles, and here comes Drew.
So Bliss just binged The Harley Quinn cartoon, didn’t she?
Drew rushes the ring and attacks orton. They go back and forth. Bliss is seated on the top rope, laughing and pointing. Drew stomps Orton in the corner then tosses a chair. There goes another one. He apologizes to the giglging Bliss. He hits Orton with a right hand. Drew wants a Claymore. The screens crackle, go out in shards, then turn back on and Drew stands alone in the middle of the ring while The Fiend’s shrieking emits from the speakers. Orton is at the top of the ramp. He turns, and The Fiend stands behind him.
Orton walks towards the ring slowly. Drew is on the apron. He drops down. He and Orton go at it! Drew sends Orton into the barricade, again, a right hand. Drew promises to attack Orton forever until he gets his title back. Drew sends Orton into – no, Orton reveres and sends Drew into the barricade! Orton sends him towards the table. Drew fights bakc with right hands. He sends Orton into the steps. Drew grabs Orton and pulls back on his chin rom behind. Drew sends Orton into the table then hits him with a right hand. Orton kicks, back suplex onto the table from Orton to Drew. Orton removes his vest, finally, mounts Drew on the table, and continues with right hands as we go off the air.
End Show
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