wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s WWE RAW Review 12.11.23
Image Credit; WWE
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EVERYONE! WE’re starting off 2024 with a BANG! That’s right, BINGO and the 411Mania Royal Rumble!!! Next week, I’ll make the official announcement, so consider this a teaser!
It’s Monday…you know what that means
We start RAW with a recap of last week’s happenings with Sami and Drew. Sami gets some well-deserved time off, and Drew’s heel turn is cemented.
[Music intensifies]
The new RAW opening begins and we hear UUUUSOOOOO!!!
It’s the return of The Yeet! Jey Uso comes down and he has the crowd hyped. He’s ready for action.
There’s a Yeet chant as Jey welcomes us to Monday Night RAW.
Jey:“I got yeet back.”
Lol. He’s excited about that. He’s also excited about CM Punk being in the building. Tonight he’s going to decide whether or not he wants to sign to RAW. Punk would be a real one if he does. We lost a real one last week, too. He tells Sami to get well. Drew did this. Him and Drew are about to stand on business tonight, and he bout to get got.
Drew cuts him off, tired of the Yeetisms.
Drew McIntyre is out with a mic and tells Jey that’s enough Arse-kissing. He pleads with Pearce to let Punk go. Smackdown can have him, we don’t want Punk in that locker room. He’ll destroy this place from the inside out. We don’t personally know him. He knows him, what he’s actually like, and knows how this story ends.
This is about Jey, though. Seth got what he deserves, but maybe Sami didn’t. Maybe Drew has a little to do with him being at home. Sami ran his mouth a lot and crossed the line when he talked aobut Drew’s family. HE is sorry, though. See this, Jey, it’s called an apology. Something Jey is incapable of. Boo him like he’s wrong, that’s fine. Imagine, Cleveland, someone hurt a family member of yours, you, your parents, would you want revenge. Imagine they never apologized. Who, by show of hands, would want to take revenge. The truth will set you free.
Drew calls out Austin, in the crowd, and tells his family that he doesn’t care about them. Hahaha.
Drew mocks JEy’s yet and hand movement, thinking everything is just forgiven?
Jey tells him how to properly do his hand move, says he cannot dance, and the bell rings!
Jey Uso vs Drew McIntyre
Jey with the Yeetdown! Right, another, another, a final one sends Drew out of the ring!
BACK and Drew is beating down Jey with ease. Jey gets to his hands and knees, Jey locks his head, but Drew dead lifts into a suplex. Jey is up, tries to get some revenge with right hands, chops Drew against the ropes, whip is reversed ad Drew hits a back elbow. Drew corners Jey, then hits a huge chop. Jey to the outside. Drew follows, waits, tries for a Claymore! But Jey moves and Drew lands on the announce table!!! Jey enters the ring. Hits the ropes. Suicide dive to Drew on the outside!
WE ARE BACK!
Drew shoots Jey out of the corner with a release German off the top rope! We missed Drew catapulting Jey into the metal part of the ring during the break, so Jey is hurting.
In the ring, Jeyt blocks a right, hits his own, another, another, dances and spits, hits a right, Drew with a huge Glasgow kiss! To the ropes! Jey ducks under, SAMOAN DROP! Cover! 1..2…NO!! Jey with a hip attack attempt, but Drew moves, ducks under a right, neckbreaker, both men down! Drew with a kip up! Jey struggles in the corner. Drew calls for a Claymore, runs! SUPERKICK FROM JEY!!! Jey to the top rope! Splash! Drew has the knees up!!! FUTURE SHOCK! Cover! 1….2……NO!!!! Drew calls for another Claymore! HE RUNS! SPEAR FROM JEY!!!! AHHHH!! Cover! 1….2…..NO!!!
The ref sees a buckle pad is loose, Drew rakes the eyes of Jey, hits him with a thumb, ref turns. ClAYMORE! Cover! 1..2….3!!!
Winner: Drew McIntyre
Drew’s turn has been amazing. Even here with his attempts to win this like any normal man and only resorting to the heelish tactics after feeling like he cant fully do it cleanly. He didn’t just flip a switch and become a dick. Wrestling-wise, Jey has thoroughly learned how to be a single’s star, complete with his own Five Moves of Doom and ability to command the ring. Just great stuff.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 17:08
Shinsuke Nakamura has another video package for Cody. He brings up Cody wanting to finish his story, and talking about it for over a year, yet he is nowhere near closer. He is a dog chasing a car. As great as Cody is, he is not enough, and never will be. Cody doesn’t respect Shin? That’s his weakness, his admiration for others. Shin feed himself form that burden years ago. He draws his own destiny, paints his own story.
We get anime Shinsuke! He brings Cody’s story to an end! Shin is the real nightmare. Always remember, Cody asked for this.
Backstage, Dominik Mysterio and JD McDonagh are getting admonished by Rhea Ripley and Finn Balor. Damien Priest is pissed, saying them losing sucked, but also people not showing up on RAW sucks, too. Rhea notes that, but says it appears that saying you’re the leader is a lot easier than actually being the leader.
Priest is about to go in on her, but Rhea stops him and tells him this is about the family, and people respecting them. She will make an example out of Maxxine tonight.
We head to Alpha Academy’s locker room where they and The Creed Brothers hype Maxxine up. In comes R-Truth to tell them that Judgment Day is just misunderstood. He then wishes them Happy Thanksgiving and runs off.
Rhea Ripley vs Maxxine
Maxxine ducks a right hand, another, hard slap from Maxxine, and Rhea is pissed. Rhea grabs the right arm. Big short arm clothesline to Maxxine. Another, another, ANOTHER! Rhea lifts Maxxine up for a powerbomb. Maxxine makes this really sloppy, Rhea tries to recover, lifts her up, Maxxine with a sloppy rana, Rhea is pissed. They run the ropes, Rhea shoots Maxxine off of her then hits a big boot ot the chest. Rhea with a Riptide. Maxxine seems to be sandbagging, but not on purpose.
Rhea screams at Maxxine, says she is nothing. Rhea locks in the Prism. Ref calls for the end after the tap.
Winner: Maxxine
Yeesh…Maxxine was sandbagging like a motherfucker, but not on purpose. My guess is Rhea’s strength frightened her and she lost focus on being a dance partner.
Total Rating: DUD
Match Time: 2:00
Rhea refuses to let go of the hold until Ivy Nile hops on the apron to stare Rhea down. Rhea lets go, grabs her title, and holds it up high.
Rhea leaves, telling them that these girls are nothing in her world.
For a second, I thought EDC was advertising on WWE tv, b ut it’s just a video promo for Kayden and Kitana. They have their eyes on the titles.
We are back and Adam Pearce is in the ring with a contract. He says the time for talking is over, so let’s get to a segment full of talking!
CM Punk is introduced, and out comes the man.
Pearce hands him the mic, and the crowd is firmly behind the man.
Punk says he thought he was in a bit of a sullen mood, then he comes out and hears everyone. Truth is, he – WE – have a huge decision to make. The reason he’s been so worried about it, is because he loves us, but the truth is, this town, this building has not always been kind to CM Punk. He walked through the halls, and there are a lot of ghosts. He’s doing his best to face them head on. He debuted here with Mickie James on his arm. True story. It was so good that they told him in the back he was going to OVW. He didn’t want to go, but while he was there, he learned how to love it. Just like when he was in the WWE for the first time. He learned to love it.
He came back to this town, this building, world heavyweight champion, ready to put on a show. Then Orton kicks Punk in the head backstage, and Punk wakes up and they tell him that he was stripped of the title, he couldn’t compete, he is no longer the champion.
What about ten years ago? Do we remember that? 10 years ago, he had to make the hatrdest deicison of his life. He doesn’t regret it, but there was always that part that wondered if anyone paid to see him, if they were disappointed.
Backstage, a little girl named Indi told him she felt betrayed. He remembers when Roddy made him feel the same way. If we are here now and were disappointed about him walking out, he understands and he apologizes.
He says Nick Aldis put together a great offer. He went to NXT and hung out with Shawn Michaels – who offered him a spot to help mold the next generation. Pearce has put together a deal that is head and shoulders above both those other deals. But he wants to be real and honest – his mind was probably already made up when he saw Cleveland on the calendar. He’s here to bury the ghosts, right a few wrongs. His future starts now. You couldn’t write a better tv show. Ten years almost to the day, CM Punk walked out – and no matter how you feel – CM Punk walks right back in. If you’re happy about it, mad about it, better learn to love it, because CM Punk is the newest RAW Superstar. CM Punk is home.
CM Punk shakes Pearce’s hand and signs the contract.
Punk celebrates in the corner, pounds his chest, and is all smiles until…
SETH FREAKIN ROLLINS Music hits!!!
OHHH SHIIIIIIIT
Seth enters the ring, and they go face to face. Pearce tries to keep the peace. They stare a hole into one another as the crowd chants Holy Shit and the censors do a piss poor job at covering that up.
Not a word is passed between the two, only several camera cuts.
Finally, Seth grabs a mic and tells Ohio hello. CM Punk…welcome to Monday Night ROLLINS.
He hopes Punk knows how fortunate he is to even be standing in this ring right now, but do Seth just one little favor and…don’t dare call this place home. Punk abandoned this place ten years ago. He actively tried to tear it down. He spent ten years slandering Seth, the locker room, and now he wants to walk back in and call this place his home? This is not Punk’s home, this is Seth’s home! He has been here. His brothers and sisters in the back. Everyone watching. That is his family, and this is “OUR HOME!” He will do everything to protect it from people like Punk.
He wants to be perfectly clear. He wants us all to understand. He’ll say it plainly with every fiber in his being.
Seth: “I hate you.”
BUT. If Punk is going to be a part of the WWE again, then he wants Punk on RAW. The truth always comes out. We all know this is Punk’s last chance. So one of two things will happen – either Punk will expose himself, self-destruct like he always does, and Seth will be the first person to slam the door shut on Punk’s legacy….or if by some miracle Punk has changed, and he’s got any gas left in this old tank, maybe one day he’ll be lucky enough to stand across the ring from Seth in a title match and then he will expose Punk for the fraud that he is. He will show that there are levels to this, will wrestle circles around Punk, and let him understand in real time what it means to be the best in the world.
CM Punk: “Are you done?”
That’s your one pass to stand here and speak to Punk disrespectfully without Punk coming after him. He has never asked for anything to be handed to him, and he’s always done things the hard way. If we’re making things official, let’s make it official. CM Punk is entering the Royal Rumble, and when he wins, maybe, Seth, it’s him Punk is coming after.
Bronson and Ivar get their own quick promos against one another. They’re match comes after the break
Bronson Reed vs Ivar
Both men collide in the middle of the ring. Ivar corners Reed, hits the ropes, and here comes Reed with a pounce! He drops an elbow to the chest. Right hands in the corner. Chop rom Reed. Whip to the corner and Ivar flips upside down and falls on his head. Reed lifts Ivar ot his shoulders, Ivar elbows off of them, misses a right, both men hit the ropes. Clothesline in the middle of the ring from both! They roll out of opposite sides of the ring. They stand and make scary faces at each other then circle the ring to collide on the outside with crossbodies!
We are back and Reed hits a huge spinebuster to Ivar! Reed climbs for some Tsunami, but Ivar stops him and sends Reed flying off the top. Ivar to the top rope and he dives forward with a cannonball to Reed on the outside! Damn. Ivar grabs Reed and tosses him into the ring. Ivar enters the ring, and climbs the top rope. Reed is up! He clubs the back!
Reed turns Ivar around. Reed fights him at the top, chops from Ivar over and over. Reed to the TOP ROPE! He grabs Ivar and we get a SUPERPLEX!!! GAHDAMN! COVER! 1…2…..3!!!!
Winner: Bronson Reed
Damn, when’s the last time you saw a Superplex win a match. What a throwback.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 7:49
Backstage, CM Punk walks up to The Judgment Day (sans Rhea). He asks where she is, and Priest laughs. Priest welcomes him to their show. He hopes Punk is the guy who finishes the story around here, because if he does, Priest will be the one waiting.
Judgment Day walks away as Punk smirks.
We come back just in time to see Judgment Dy make their entrance.
Here comes R-Truth to tell Priest thathe thinks they gotta kick JD out. He then says Priest being the boss has got to stop. Truth likes him, but it makes mommy mad.
Priest tells Truth he is a funny guy. He gets it. The locker room likes him. Finn Balor likes him. Everybody in the building likes him.
Everybody loves R-Truth!
Excpt Priest.
PRIEST ATTACKS TRUTH!!! JD and Dom join in the beatdown! Finn is next!
Here come The Creed Brothers to help out! Judgment Day make short work of the brothers, tossing thme out of the ring. JD and Dom follow and they stomp out Julius, but he hits a Northern Lights to both men! He enters the ring and attacks Finn! Bug dropkick sends Finn flying> Priest with a Goozle to both brothers, but they kick and end up slamming him down! Judgment Day makes their way up the ramp. Dom tells his fam that he warned them. JD says not now.
Backstage, CM Punk walks up to Drew and Pearce. Drew says he doesn’t care about Punk’s story or Cody’s story. He cares about his, and it just got better. He walks away. Pearce tells Punk that Drew is getting a title shot at Day 1 RAW.
Here comes Kofi Kingston, Chad Gable, and Ricochet. Kofi and Punk have a cute moment and Punk leaves. Pearce says he has an idea bout the IC title that includes them three and they enter his office to chat.
Kitana Chance and Kayden Carter vs Indi Hartwell and Candice LeRae
Indi and Kayden to start. Indi drops her and does a little dance. Carter drops her with a toe hold and flexes then hits a dropkick. Tag to Kitana. Carter whips Chance and she trips Indi up on her way out the ring. She flips over the top rope onto Indi covers for 1…She tries for. A sunset flip but Indi grabs her head, they then hit a version of Silly String to Indi. Indi hits a big boot, tags in Candice, IN comes LeRae to trip Carter up then a senton to the back. Cover for 1…N!O!! Whip to the corner. Tag to Indi. Her and LeRa double team, hitting a gut buster to Carter, then a flipping neckbreaker from Candice. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Candice sends Kitana outside, leaving Indi and Kayden in the ring. Indi with a spinebuster. Tag to LeRae. They double team with Indi dropping Candice onto some knees.
Indi locks up from behind, Kayden rolls through, siuperkick to the face. Carter tags in Chance, she heads to th top rope and hits the 450! Carter with a neckbreaker, and we call that The After Party. Cover for 1..2..3!!!
Winner: Kitana Chance and Kayden Carter
With just a little more crispness and fluid movement, they could have something going here. Until then, we get some disjointed cool move after cool move, but no real smoothness.
Total Rating: *1/2
Match Time: 2:26
Backstage, D.I.Y. are talking about their mystery partner. IN comes Imperium to ask who the mystery partner is. Gunther comes in, says they are confident, but he highly doubts they found someone worthy who would associate with two weirdos like them.
Becky Lynch is here and she is next.
Becky makes her way to the ring, and she is quick to say hello and take us back to 11/21/2018 when Nia clocked her, leaving her a bloody mess.
Becky says it may be petty to bring this up, but damnit she is petty. For the last five years, literally everyone she has faced has tried to bring this moment up. They kept missing each other. Becky went on to main event Mania, while Nia went and got double ACL surgery because she is so unlikable that not even her knees would stand up for her.
Then Becky had a child and Nia got fired. It’s 2023 now, and Becky thinks it’s time to…
Here comes Nia Jax with a smirk. She is not like most girls.
Nia has a mic. Oh joy.
She isn’t fired anymore, Becky. She is right her ein front of Becky, better than ever. That punch Becky just showed, that was a lucky swing. A lucky swing that almost ended Becky’s career, that she didn’t even get all of. Imagine if she had Becky right in front of her and punched her with her full force. Becky wouldn’t get up. This is a contact sport, what else did she expect.
Becky says she doesn’t hold it against Nia. Everyone knows, Nia is the most dangerous woman in this ring. Everyone has been injured, broken bones, she nearly ended a few careers.
Nia says people haven’t stopped talking about her the past two years that she’s been gone. It’s ironic, the careers she nearly ended, but Becky has Nia to thank for hers.
This is what Becky does hold against Nia. If it was just about a broken face, these people would have checked out and moved on as soon as the blood dried. It’s about what that moment represented it, about her dusting herself off and getting back up and fighting like hell. That is what she has done her whole life, that night, and ever since. Nia, though, she and her minions have spent years going around saying she’s not a main event star. Becky proved her wrong, and now all Nia says is Becky is a main event star because of Nia, but that is a lie. She needs to end that lie or end Nia.
Nia thinks Becky needs her. Need to prove that Becky is not about that one moment. She’s gotta prove it to herself, that her career wasn’t just some accident. Otherwise, Nia will always be the woman who made The Man.
What Becky needs is for her to shut the hell up. She didn’t come to talk, she came looking for a fight.
Becky ties her hair up, asks for another hit across the face, gives Nia a free shot. Nia thinks about it, then tells Becky that she needs it a lot more than Nia does.
Nia leaves.
Cody Rhodes is backstage with Jackie. He is happy for Punk, but Rumble is right around the corner, so his focus is there. As for tonight, if we stripped this all back and Shin didn’t mist him in the eyes, he’d be much more excited. Shinsuke is viscious, and that’s ok by him. Got a problem? Know where to solve it. Stardust was born in this arena. He asked for this? Damn right he did.
Imperium vs D.I.Y. and The Miz
Gargano and Vinci to start. Crowd is pro Gargano. That’s good. Gunther tags himself in. Mi wants in. But Gunther punches Gargano as he is distracted. Big chop from Gunther. Tag to Kaiser and he sends Johnny into the corner. Hard slap to the face. Vinci with a blind tag. Johnny fights back, Vinci hits a knee, lifts Gargano up, Gargano backs into a blind tag from Ciampa. They double team him a bit. Ciampa whips, reversed, Vinci misses a right, but Kaiser holds the ropes and Ciampa falls out of the ring. Gunther with a huge boot to the face of Ciampa.
We are back and Vinci hits a sick ass cross body to Ciampa. He misses a back splash in the corner. Tag ot Gargano, tag to Kaiser. He kicks Ludwig then Vinci, Enzigrui to Kaiser, elbow in the corner to Vinci. Combo bulldog/clothesline to both! Gargano gets shot over the top rope, spear from outside! Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Vinci stops the pin. Gargano is up in the corner, Vinci misses a splash and tumbles to the floor. Gagano flies off the 2nd rope and Kaiser hits an uppercut. Fireman’s, but Johnny slinks back and hits a big kick to the chin. TAG TO MIZ! TAG TO GUNTHER!
Big left, another, more! Into the corner over and over! Miz hits the corner and runs with a clothesline! Thesz Press! Right hands Big kick from Miz! Miz with the kicks! Gunther catches the final one and chops the chest! Boston Crab@ Ciampa runs in with a knee! IN comes Kaiser and Vinci to do the high low! Gargano and Miz with double tornado DDTs!!! Gunther with a. big boot to Gargano! Dragon Screw b y Miz! FIGURE FOUR!!!!!!!!! Gunther screams in agony. In comes Vinci, but Gargano is in to lock in the Crossface!!! Gunther tags in Vinci!
Vinci flies off the top rope with an elbow!!! He stomps Gargano! Lifts up for a powerbomb, but Miz hits a Skull Crushing Finale! PIN! 1…2…3!!!
Winner: The Miz
What a joy to see The Miz as a face in his hometown. Crowd was super behind it all, and it was a fun enough quick sprint of a match.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 10:47
We head backstage and Gunther is going in on his team, but Miz runs up on him demanding an IC title match. Gunther tells ihm he will give it to him on one condition – if Gunther beats him again, he can never challenge for the IC Title again as long as Gunther is champion.
Miz says done.
Cody Rhodes vs Shinsuke Nakamura
Lockup! Cody with a side headlock takedown, Shin escapes, and they both stand. Cody wants to lock hands but Shin kicks his hand away. Cody tries again and Shin gets it. Cody backs him into the roeps. Ref cuts it. Shin goes head to head with him. Cody shoves him, ducks, right hand. Rope work and Cody hits a dropkick! Cody corners Shin and mounts or some punches. Running knee from Shin and we go to commercial.
We are back and Cody is hitting some elbows to break a side headlock. Shin tries for a back suplex, Coy lands on his feet, uppercuts, off the ropes with a Cutt—no! Shin grabs the arm and tries to get an arm bar! Cody blocks! Grabs the head ,tries for Cross Rhodes, Shin slinks down and tries for the arm bar again! Cody with a rope break! Shin releases and lets Cody stand and cower to the corner. Shin runs, blocks a kick, spins Cody, kicks the back of the neck, and hits a sliding German! Shin to the 2nd rope! Huge knee to the chin! Shin waits, runs, Cody with a dropkick to theknees! Shin with a dragon, Shin to the apron. Cody grabs the knee and we get another hard dragon screw. Cody works the kne again, turning Shin with a half crab. Shin reaches for the ropes. Nearly makes it, almost gives up hallway. He reaches for the ropes and breaks the ohld. Cody holds on for a bit. Shin rolls out of the ring. Cody hits the ropes, and dives like a bullet into Shin!
We are back from what’s likely the final break. They are trading elbows in the center of the ring. Cody with a right to the head, Shinfires back. They go at it until Cody gets his lick back off the ropes. He flies over Shin fomr the corner and hits a powerslam. Shin with a surprise Sleeper hold from behind! He gets the legs locked around Cody. Cody is fading. He turns onto his knees. Shin on his back. Shin changes to a chin lock. Cody is up, he drops backwards with Shin on his back! DISASTER KICK FROM CODY! COVER! 1..2…..NO!!!
Cody wants to end it. He yells for Shin to get up. Shake, Rattle, and Roll! Bionic Elbow! CODY CUTTER! He lifts Shin. CROSS Rh—NO!! RED MIST!!! THIS ONE LOOKIN LIKE BLOOD! That’s a DQ
Winner: Cody Rhodes via DQ
What a great match Shinsuke can have when he’s motivated. Good enough to want another.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 17:49
Shinuske attacks a blinded Cody as he swings at the air. Kinshasha from Shin knocks Cody out. Shinsuke leaves the ring with a smile. He heads to the timekeeper’s area and grabs a chair. He’s not done!
Shin slides into the ring, but here come The Creed Brothers to cause Shin to leave the ring. They help Cody as a ref grabs a towel for Cody. Shin looks on in the ring then walks up the ramp.
The ref hands Cody some water and he washes away his eyes. Cody rolls towards the apron, continuing to try and wipe away the mist.
SHIN RUNS DOWN THE RING WITH A HIGH KNEE TO CODY!!!
End Show
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