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Acero’s WWE RAW Review 2.6.23
Image Credit: WWE
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Hello Happy People! Let’s get this show on the road!
It’s Monday…you know what that means.
On this day…EDGE comes running ooout like a bat out of hell. He’s not alone, because his missus is with him! He gives her a little smack on the butt, and Beth Phoenix gives him a playful “watch out, now.” Corey Graves calls them The Grit Couple, and I just…no.
We are taken back to Extreme Rules when Judgment Day attempted to destroy Beth in front of Edge in order to make him quit, complete with a brutal Conchairto.
Edge tells Orlando that it is so damned good to be back. Edge says he is here for one reason. The Judgment Day is his faut. The idea was to try and elevate talent he thought deserved it, and it worked. All of them are in a better place now than they were a year ago. Finn is operating on a level he’s never been on. Priest is a workhorse that can come out weekly against the very best. Rhea Ripley…went from #1 and outlasted everyone and is now going to Mania against Charlotte Flair. And Dom is there, too.
He knew what would happened in that I Quit match, and he is not used to feeling helpless. He congratulates Judgment Day then gives them a golf clap. He is a cruel bastard that will sink to any level to get his pound of flesh.
Beth wants to cut to the chase; if they’ve got the stones – Ripley and Balor – she and Edge are here to finish this…
Oh, but here comes The Judgment Day sans Ripley. Finn Balor notices a pattern – Edge returns to the ring only for them to beat him down again and again. It might be time for Edge to quit. Dominik Mysterio says word on the street travels fast, so they must have heard that since they’ve ben gone, Dom has served hard time. They better run before he does something to them that he learned on the inside, just like he did to his dead beat dad. Damien Priest tells Edge he hates him. He will go into the Chamber, be the US Champion. Dom says Rhea is busy promoting Mania, but she wishes Rhea was here.
Edge tells Dom to shut up, then says that they all confuse him. They don’t know what they want. Priest didn’t want a leader, yet he’s following Balor. Priest is better than that. The difference between them and Edge/Beth is that they have each other’s back, but JD, they cant trust each other. Edge cannot wait till Rey snaps and 619s Dom’s teeth into his throat.
Beth says Rhea is not here tonight because last week, she speared her soul out of her body. Beth says she dindt come here to talk; she came here to beat Rhea Ripley’s ass. Since she is not here, how about Edge and Beth vs Finn Balor and Rhea Ripley at Elimination Chamber.
Dom speaks for Rhea, says she is in. Finn is in. They accept, assuming Beth and Edge make it.
Finn, Priest, and Dom circle (triangle?) the ring. They hop to the apron. Edge removes his jacket. Finn enters first, Edge attacks, Beth chases Dom out of the ring, and The Street Profits music hits. It’s Angelo Dawkins who has a match with Priest some time tonight. He attacks Priest.
Montez Ford sneaks down the ramp and chases Dom into the ring, where Beth is waiting to hit him with a Glam Slam.
Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match
Damien Priest vs Angelo Dawkins
WE come back to the match already going down. Dawkins has Priest hurting on the outside but it’s short lived as Priest sends Dawkins into the ring and hits a Broken Arrow. Priest covers for 1..2..NO!!!
I miss a bit after break due to a random ferret incident. The less you know the better.
Dawkins hits Priest with a headbutt as commentary tells me neither man has had the iupperhand for too long. Dawkisn heads to the top rope, Priest with a Goozle, but Dawkisn drops his arm onto the top rope. Dawkins slides in and gets hit with a big kick. Flatliner from Priest. 1..2…NO!! Dawkins locks the head. Spin and DDT to Priest! Cover! 1..2…NO!!! Dawkisn to the top rope! SWANTON BOMB FROM DAWKINS! Cover! 1..2….NO!!!! Dawkins cannot believe it! Right hand from Dawkins. Another to the head.
Priest with a HUGE right to the face, rocking Dawkins. Right from Dawkins. Spinning kick from Priest, GOOZLE! South of Heaven! Cover! 1…2…3!!!
Winner: Damien Priest
A bit of an abrupt ending there. They both tried, that’s for sure.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 11:06
Earlier today, Austin Theory showed up in a Lambo.
Dexter Lumis (w/ Johnny Gargano) vs Baron Corbin (w/ JBL)
LOCKUP! Dexter with some elbows to break a hold. Off the ropes, Corbin hits a tackle and drives some elbows down onto the shoulder a few times. Chin lock from behind. Knee strike from Corbin. He corners Dexter, hits a right to the head, then whips hard into the corner. Cover from Corbin. 1…2..NO!!! Corbin talks some shit towards Gargano. Another chin lock from Corbin. Dexter turns into it, attacks the mid, Baron shoves, misses a right, Dexter gets his own, clothesline in the corner, bulldog. Corbin misses a right and Dexter with a back suplex. He kips up and hits a leg drop Corbin backs Dexter into the corner, elbows from Corbin.
Corbin misses a splash in the corner and Dexter hits a sitout Rock Bottom. Dexter covers. 1..2…..3!!!
Winner: Dexter Lumis
It was a Corbin match with Dexter Lumis.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 3:17
JBL is noticeably bothered at the result of this match.
Backstage, Byron Saxton wants to talk to Becky Lynch. Ten years ago, she met Bayley here in Orlando. She saw Bayley attach herself to anyone willing to take her to the top. Becky worked through the hard way. Bayley brought her family into this. She will learn Bayley to not talk about her family. She had a plan, and she got what she wanted tonight. Bring your friends, your tricks, because there is one hand Becky has not played yet, and tonight might be the night.
WE are back, and it’s BUHHHRROOOCCCKKKK LESSSNNNAARRR!!!!
Brock Lesnar is all smiles. Good evening, Orlando, says Brock, and wonders if we caught the Rumble. He did, too, and he thought it sucked. He got tossed over the top rope. Even worse, he got tossed out by Bobby Lashley. He was sorry for not being on RAW last week. He had to get his head together. Bobby finally struck a cord. All last week, he couldn’t get Bobby out of his head. He tried to go huntin, but all he could think about was Bobby Who. Next day, he wants to go ice fishing. He sits down for a big steak dinner, and all he can think about is Lashley. He crawls into bed with his wife and about four or five hours later, all he can think about is BOBBY LASHLEY. So he thought, all week, what is he going to do? Lesnar came up with a resolution – a violent one – but a resolution nonetheless. In this five dollar denim jacket is a multi-million dollar contract. On the contract, it states “Lesnar vs Lashley at Elimination Chamber. If Lashley has some balls, he’ll come down and sign it.
Cue the music!
Bobby Lashley is suited and booted, and comes out to tell Brock he didn’t know was going to be here, but let’s take a walk down Memory Lane. Match #1 – he pinned Brock. Match #2 – Brock won, but Lashley left him unconscious. The Rumble was Match #3 and he tossed Brock over the top without an issue.
Brock walks up to him, and holds the contract up. Lashley says things wil be done under his terms. He will take the contract and let his agent look at it. He’ll let his manager look at it and his lawyer too, then he’ll get back with Brock. He’ll take this into consideration. Is Brock surprised that “Bobby Who?” has one up on Brock?
F5!!!
ONE MORE TIME chant. Brock grabs Lashley and hits another one.
Backstage, Candice LeRae is backstage. Johnny and Dexter walk up to her, and Dexter has drawn a photo for Candice. It’s an oddly drawn caricature with Nikki in it as well. We look behind the trio, and there’s Nikki Cross in the back. She cackles her way out of frame as Candice stands by wondering what the hell is going on.
Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match
Piper Niven vs Carmella vs Candice LeRae vs Michin
Piper quickly takes out Michin and Candice with a double clothesline. She heads towards Carmella and screams, frightening Carmella out of the ring. Piper grabs Candice and whips her into Michin, then splashes in the corner. Double drop toe hold rom the girls to Piper. They then dropkick her to the outside. Michin and Candice are left in the middle of the ring.
They dodge each others moves for a bit, waist lock from Michin, elbow from Candice, Michin lifts Candice up. Buckle Bomb from Mia to the corner. Kick from Candice is caught, Mia lifts her to the shoulders. Poison rana from Candice!!! Carmella rolls into the ring to steal the pin. 1..2..NO!!! She gets one on Mia, gets a 1.2..NO!!! rolls over to Candice for another pin, gets a 2, here comes Piper to hit a splash on ALL THREE GIRLS!! Cover to Mia for 1..2..NO!!! She kicks Candice to the outside then covers Mella for 1..2..NO!!!
Back from a break, and Mella is yelling at Mia that this is her match. Right hand from Mia, one from Mella. Mia with a quick Eat Defeat, covers for 1..2..NO!!! Piper pulls Mella out of the ring. She rolls in and Mia attacks with rights over and over, misse a kick ,headbutt from Piper, locks the head, shoves her aside because Candice flies from the top roep! She hits a springboard moonsault! Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Mia stops the pin. Candice is shocked, but she understands. Mia tries to make her case, but Piper shoves Mia into Candice then gets hit with a Deep Six like move. Cover for 1.2..N!O!! Candice stops it! Candice tries to fight Piper off, but she trips Candice up. Tries for a splash, Candice moves aside! Senton to Piper, Piper rolls outside! Mella rolls andice up for 1..2.N!O!! Right hand from Candice. She gets sent into the 2nd buckle.
Mella moonwalks, sends Candice into the corner, Piper runs in,, cannonball to Candice! Superkick from Mella! Cover for 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Carmella
A little better in terms of quality just based on Piper’s performance alone. Carmella winning isn’t shocking, nor is it wanted or disliked. Consider this a match that was a match with a result that was most certainly a result.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 9:51
Backstage, Corbin walks up to JBL to ask where they’re going, but JBL goes in on him, saying he is a channel changer, and how his career has lost credibility because of Corbin. Modern Day Wrestling God? No, Corbin needs a red nose and a wig cuz he is a clown. Corbin tells JBL he’ll do good, and JBL says you cant polish a turd. Lol.
In the background, MVP is talking with Cedric and Shelton.
We come back from break and Candice LeRae is hurting backstage. Out of nowhere, Piper Niven runs up on her and looks to attack, saying Candice ruined everything for her. She is about to devour Candice, but in comes Michin to tell her to back off. Piper says if either of them get in her way again, there will be hell to pay.
Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander vs The Alpha Academy
Gable and Cedric to start. Gable with some mat wrestling util Cedric breaks it with an arm drag, Gable returns, Cedric tries for another, Gable blocks, kick from Cedric, hits the ropes with a springboard and gets caught for a German! Tag to Otis and he trucks Cedric down. IN comes Shelton to hit some forearms. Whip to Otis, but he cant pull it soe bounces off the ropes with a clothesline. Another bounce and Otis catches him, Shelton to his feet. High kick. He runs to the corner but Otis catches him and slams him down hard. Otis with a splash in the center of the ring. Otis attacks the back, corners Shelton. Shelton gets sent into the corner hard. Enziguri from Shelton! Otis catches him and slams him don again. Otis grabs the head, sets up Shelton in the corner, misses a asplash. Tag to Cedric. Tag to Gable. Right from Cedric, another, huge forearm then a dropkick to the back of the head after a snapmare! Cedric whips, Gable reverses, Cedric hops over the head, Nueralizer to Gable! Cedric hits the ropes, Galbe on the outside, Cedric dives, Gable catches him. Exploder on the outside!!! Gable rolls Cedric into the ring. Diving headbutt from the top! Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Shelton there to stop it! Otis in, tries to splash Shelton, Shelton moves. Running knee, another, Shelton with a SAMOAN DROP TO OTIS!!!
Gable knees Shelton to the outside. Rights from Gable to Cedric, lands on his feet, LUMBAR CHECK! Cover! 1..2….3!!!
Winners: Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander
It’s nice to see the building blocks start to form The Hurt Business again. A sweet five minute sprint.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 4:55
We are taken back to last week where Rick Boogs messed up The Miz’s demands for respect.
Backstage, the beautiful Cathy Kelley is standing by to interview The Miz who says he will be sending the bill for the damages to his $10k suit his wife bought Miz.
Here is Boogs to interrupt. He was talking to Pearce, it appears. Boogs says he is just really happy to be reunited with The Boogs Crew. Cut the humble crap, says Miz. He would have won easily if he was dressed to compete. Boogs is lucky that Pearce is a lazy and incompetent official. Of course, Pearce is behind Miz. He gives them a rematch for next week. Boogs is coo with it, cals himself “Thick Rick” then Boogs out.
Before Pearce can re-enter his office, Chelsea Green shows up again to tell him to find her an opponent or she will tell his manager.
Chelsea Green vs Asuka
It should be noted that Raquel Rodriguez, Liv Morgan, Natalya, and Carmella are all ringside for this “match.”
Green has Asuke cornered, surprisingly. She pulls her into the center of the ring and hits a Flatliner type move. Green screams that she should be in the chamber, not all these girls. Nikki Cross just crawls out of the ring, and Green offers her crazy if she wants it. Asuka is up. Chelsea strikes, misses, and here comes Asuka with the rapid back and forth over and over with strikes then a GERMAN and finally a kick to the face.
Kick out of the corner from Green but Asuka gets a submission and Chelsea gives up.
Winner: Asuka
What was this shit?
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 2:21
Bianca Belair comes out to tell all the girls thy are six of the best but who has what it takes to win a Chamber match and go one-on-one with her? Last year, she was one of them. She knows what it’s like. She knows what it takes to win. She wishes them all luck.
Cody Rhodes is here to talk about stuff.
He wants to talk about Reigns. He says the destination is a bit foggy because the titles are on the line at Elimination Chamber against a guy who has all the momentum, walking into his hometown, Sami Zayn. Cody has a question. It looks more and more that it’ll be Cody vs Sami at Mania. He says this with the utmost respect – he wishes Sami the best of luck and may the best man win.
Paul Heyman has heard enough. He is here. He introduces himself then asks if he can enter the ring. He tells Cody that what he may one day find out in his life is that life at the top requires an understanding that the only week busier than the week leading into a major event like Mania, is the week coming out of such a major event. Heyman and Reigns have had a lot on their plates, and some stuff fell through the cracks, including both he and Reigns congratulating Cody on the Rumble win.
They shake hands.
Cody knows that his father had a nickname for Heyman, and so did Dustin. But he’s going to call him Mr. Heyman. He has an unparalleled respect for Heyman. He has a story. The year was 2000. The till had dried up a bit. Hard Times was more than just a promo. The Rhodes went broke. Dusty was doing local car commercials just to keep the car. Then he got a phone call. Heyman called him. He told Dusty ECW was in town, and Steve Carino was going to talk some smack, and if Dusty would just be on TV, he’d pay him and pay him well.
Heyman’s face is full of turmoil and sadness.
Heyman kept his word, says Cody. ECW gave Dusty his confidence back. Fast Forward, and while he was away disrupting this sport, Heyman showed him the way. Thanks again.
Heyman smirks, says Cody is good. He came out to do al il business, and Cody got him personally. Heyman takes a minute to regain composure as the crowd cheers for Cody. But if we are shooting from the hip, let’s go all the way – this isn’t about Heyman. With all the love he’s got, this is also not about Dusty. This is about Cody Rhodes and all that he has fought for from the bottom all the way up, out the door, back in, to The Rumble to Mania. Cody is not just main eventing Mania, he’s trying to take away from the greatest box office attraction and greatest champion of all time. This is no easy task for any mere mortal, let alone someone who has no idea what it’s like under that spotlight. Will he crumble? Wither? Self-destruct because no one ever prepped him?
Right down the road is the PC, and at that very Center, Dusty trained and prepped the biggest stars of this generation. Dusty trained and prepped Seth Rollins, Becky Lynch, Bayley, Kevin Owens, Roman Reigns.
Ya know who he didn’t train and prep? Cody Rhodes.
As a father, Heyman could council Cody that maybe, just maybe he wanted Cody to make it own his own and step out from the shadow he cast. Maybe he thought Cody could be the man without Dusty, maybe. Heyman cannot convey in words how much he loved Dusty, and he’ll tell Cody straight to his face that Dusty loved him. He’ll also say this – in his last convo with Dusty, he told Heyman that Cody was his favorite son…
but Roman Reigns was the son he always wanted.
Heyman drops the mic and smirks like only he can.
Cody rushes to his face, all smiles and sentiment gone. Heyman is just telling a message. Cody extends his hand for Heyman to shake. He pulls Heyman in. Cody says he is just trying to win a wrestling championship, and everybody wants to make it…personal. And that’s just what Heyman just did, and Mr. Heyman will not be paying for it, his boy, Roman Reigns, will pay for it. At Mania, when he takes those titles personally.
Well…fuck.
Elias vs Montez Ford
Theory is on commentary as Elias tries to get a quick cover. He gets 1, Elias rolls up for 1..NO!!! Inside Cradle from Ford for 1…2..NO!!! Side headlock takedown from Elias. Ford stands up, they hit the ropes, Elias hops over, Leap from from Ford, shoulder tackle from Ford. Dropkick to Elias. Ford hops into the arms of Elias, and he hangs him up on the top rope. Chop to Ford in the corner, right forearms over and over to Ford. Running kick to the stomach. Back body drop off the ropes from Elias! Ford to the outside. Elias grabs Ford, sends him into the barricade then back suplexes Ford onto the ring steps.
And we’re back. Elias is seated on the top rope, Ford climbs up to hit some rights. Elias attacks the back then tries for a Sunset Flip. Ford won’t let go, though. He crawls up and hits a punch to the dome. Elais then gets Ford t his shoulders, Ford spins, and Elias hits a powerbomb for 1..2..NO!!! Ford to the apron. Elias grabs at him, Ford with an enziguri! He kicks again then climbs the corner and hits a frog splash. Clothesline, another, hits th e ropes, a third. Back suplex. Kip up, Ford hurts his leg, flexes, standing moonsault. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Chop from Elias. Right hand, another, Ford hits the ropes, high knee from Elias. He hits a Death Valley Driver. Cover for 1..2.NO!!!! Elias chops Ford, hits a shoulder, another, He rushes the corner, Ford sends him to the apron, shoulder from Elias, springboard, right hand from Ford!
Ford hits the corner, and he flies over the freakin ring post!!! He grabs Elias, sends him into the ring, to the top rope! Ford with a FROGSPLASH!! Cover!! 1…2….3!!!
Winner: Montez Ford
Incredibly exciting to see Ford in an Elimination Chamber match. As for this match, there was a little roughness in the corner with them taking a bit too long and not looking good at it, but Ford shone here, and they did alright by me.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: Stopwatch Issues
Theory stands on the top of the announce table holding his title high, and out of nowhere, Seth Rollins runs by and trips Theory, then stomps his head in. Seth sings his way up the ramp, smiling at Ford as he heads to the back.
Backstage, Bayley is with Iyo Sky and Dakota Kai who is on crutches.
Steel Cage Match
Bayley vs Becky Lynch
The girls talk shit to one another for a bit till Becky shoves Bayley, and Bayley shoves back. Becky with some rights, Bayley kicks the knee. Becky grabs the leg and pulls it out from under Bayley. Bayley sends Becky into the cage, Becky tries the same, but Bayley get s the boot up and sends Becky into the cage. Bayley stomps Becky a few times then presses her against the cage. Cover for 1….NO!!! Bayley starts the climb. Ecky is up, dropkicks the cage, and Bayley falls to the mat. She whips Bayley into the cage. Again. Running dropkick to the stomach. Becky hits the ropes, another dropkick forces Bayley into the steps. Becky presses Bayley’s face into the cage and screams about her husband. Beckyt lifts Bayley and sends her into the cage yet again. Becky starts her climb. Bayley grabs the boot, Becky kicks her away, bayley climbs and Becky kicks her back down. Bayley grabs the boot, both girls on the corner now. Becky sends Bayley into the cage face first, again, again, Becky turns, tries for a Manhandle Slam possibly off the top, but Bayley stops her and shoves Becky to the mat. FLYING ELBOW FROM BAYLEY! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!
We back, and both girls are down! They go head to head, both women up, right hands from each, back and forth. Uppercut from Becky, kick, hit the ropes, ducks under, springboard kick to Bayley. Becky whips Bayley to the corner, Bayley climbs up the corner, Becky grabs he eet and swings her knees into the cage. Again. Becky to the top rope, sending Bayley into it then a kick to Bayley drops her down hanging over the top rope. Becky with a leg drop to the back of the head! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Manhandle Slam attempt, but Becky reverses! Cover! 1..2..NO!!!! Bayley hangs on the top rope, Becky swings her into the cage! Becky tries for a submission, but Bayley with a knee bar! Becky reaches for ropes or the door, actually. She tries to pull herself out, Bayley dragsher back to the center. Becky sends Bayley flying into the buckle, rollup for 1..2..NO!!! Bayley locks in the knee bar yet again. Becky pulls herself up, to the top rope. She kicks Bayley away, turns and Bayley climbs up, too. They punch away, Becky shoves Bayley, Becky walks the ropes to the center, Bayley clims and they are both standing on the top rope. Bayley locks the hips. BAYLEY TO BELLY FROM THE TOP ROPE TO BECKY! Cover for 1..2…….NO!!!!! Bayley climbs! FasT! She is to the top! One leg over! Here comes Becky! She sits on the top of the cage as does Bayley. They trade blows rights over and over. Bayley slams Becy’s face onto the top of the cage. Becky hangs off the edge, feet dangling towards the ring. Becky tries for a Disarmer to Bayley!!! Bayley drops to the mat!
Iyo climbs the cage! She fights Becky on the top of the cage! Iyo send Becky int othe cage ethen kicks her down to the mat! Dakota hands Bayley her crutch! Bayley with a crutch into the gut! She looks to attack again, but…
LITA is here!!! She pulls Iyo off the cage! She runs over to Dakota and grabs the crutch, ulling Dakota into the steps. Crutch to Iyo! Twist of Fate to Iyo! Bayley wants the cage to open.
Bayley looks to leave, but Lita slams the cage into her! Manhandle Slam! Cover for 1..2…3!!!!
Winner: Becky Lynch
Are they friends because of the hair? IN all seriousness, this would have made soooo much more sense at RAW XXX because it happening tonight really didn’t make all that much sense. Gotta hand it to t he girls though for putting on a pretty good main event for a RAW that took a while toget started.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 15:07
Lita and Becky Lynch hug as the show ends.
End Show
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