wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s WWE RAW Review 3.7.22
Image Credit: WWE
Loading...Pants off! Raw on!
It’s Monday…you know what that means.
Similar to last week, we start with Kevin Owens and Seth Rollins.
They head to the rin and welcome us to Monday Night. Seth is fired up for the tag team title match coming up in moments.
Owens brings up how often they’ve been very close to winning, but something always happens to stop them. The deck has been stacked, but tonight their luck changes. They are taking the titles and going to Mania, baby.
Seth says they were this close. Could you imagine Mania without Owens and Rollins?
They want to take a trip down memory lane. We head to 2 weeks ago where Seth and Owens beat RkBro. We go back to last week, and Kevin says they are undeniable, just like Texas sucking. Shorty G and Otis suck. RKBRO suck.
SHOOSH is heard and I’m not sure if that’s now a part of the entrance, or it’s Gable in the back. Either way, ew.
Gable and Otis come out to call last week’s victory erroneous. He is an Olympian. He has a Masters. That alone means he should be competing at Mania.
Orton and Riddle are backstage to call tonight “tubular.” Tonight may be the most important night in their career, and their stupendous journey will not end tonight.
Orton says WIN is his big word. They’ve worked too hard and come too far to not go out there and take the titles back.
Match 1:
Looks like we are going with triple threat like rules where three men are in and you can only tag your own partner. Owens and Seth get the upperhand quick by sending Gable to the outside and Owens starting in on Riddle. Riddle with kicks until Owens stomps his foot and hits a DDT. Cover. 1..2..NO!!! Gable pulls Riddle out of the ring and hits a suplex, then hangs up Owens on the top rope. He rolls in, locks up from behind, back elbow from owens. Fireman’s, but Gable drops off, locks the hips, but Owens elbows out again. 2nd rope Elbow drop from Owens. Cover for 1..2.NO!!!! Tag to Seth. He drops Gable, Owens hits a senton. Seth covers for 1..2.NO!!! Seth locks the head, Gable floats over, Seth with a switch, lifts up and crotches Gable on the 2nd rope. Rollins with a forearm to the bak of the nek. Riddle hits one of his own out of nowhere. Seth locks up behind, Riddle sends Set to the apron. Elbow to Riddle. Seth springoards and it’s a crossbody on both Riddle and Gable! Tag to Owens. He sends Otis off the apron, Seth sends Randy off, Seth sends Riddle into the buckle, Owens hits a cannonball to Riddle! He turns! Gable has Seth from behind. SUPERKICK TO GABLE!!! He sends Gable to the outside. Seth hits the ropes. Suicide dive to Riddle and Gable!!!
We are back and Otis is murdering people ded. He crushes Owens, sends Seth lying to the outside, whips Riddle into the corner hard, and crushes him afterwards. Orton is on the apron, wanting a tag. Otis hits a huge splash to Riddle. Cover for 1..2….NO!!! Otis decides to pull Riddle up by the head because he’s still hungry, damnit! Gable in, trucks Riddle off the tag. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Gable drops a knee onto the inner leg. Another. Tag to Otis. Otis stomps the left leg. Owens is back up on the apron. Snapmare from Otis to Riddle. Riddle stands, reaches for a tag, Otis clubs the back. Otis to the 2nd rope. He wants to fly, but eats shit as Riddle rolls out of the way from the splash. Crowd is pretty hyped, to be fair. TAG TO ORTON! Tag to Gable! Clothesline. Another. Orton ducks a hit, powerslam! One for Seth! He clocks Owens then grabs Gable off the apron, but Seth turns him around. Orton gives him a kick. He sends Seth to the apron, locks both heads. Double DDT!! Orton is ready! Shoots for Gable, but Gable counters, takes the leg, Seth goes for a stomp, Orton dodges. RKO!!!! Cover for 1..2……NO!!! Owens is there to pull Orton out of the ring! Orton with a back suplex to Owens! Here comes Gable~! A suplex for him!!! Otis swings, Orton grabs him! He tries for a back suplex to Otis!!! Riddle runs in with a flying forearm! He grabs Otis, asks Orton for help, and they lift and drop Otis onto the announce table!!!
It appears that all of the money they’ve saved by firing over 80 people has been put into the reconstruction of much stronger announce tables.
We are BACK and Gable is in the ring with Riddle. Riddle spins Gable onto his back, hits the top rope, Floating Bro!! Cover!! 1..2..NO!! Owens there to stop it. Riddle hops on his back with a sleeper. Owens with a senton, smashing Riddle in between him and Gable! Orton in the ring! Right hands to Owens! Orton with the backbreaker! He covers! 1..2..NO!!! Otis is alive! He is in the ring, slams Riddle down, heads to the apron, gets a tag, re-enters and rolls Riddle to the corner. He climbs the corner. Gable tags. SPLASH FROM OTIS!!! MOONSAUTL FROM GABLE!!! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Seth there to stop the pin! Otis grabs him, sends Seth to the corner, rushes, and misses, hitting the post. Gable to the top rope, Seth crotches him! Chop from Seth! Right hand to the forehead! Another chop! Seth climbs! Gable attacks the back! Seth falls to the mat, runs up the corner, locks the head, Gable to the apron, hangs Seth up. Gable to the top rope, grabs Seth. Gable locks the head, Owens is here to punch Gable then climb the corner, too. Otis is here to grab Owens, and Seth, who both have Gable, and slam them down, causing a superplex to Gable…you know, his partner? Weird.
All six men in the ring! They all go at it like they’re in the Royal Rumble! All six out of the ring as we go to break!
We are BACK AGAIN! Riddle is on the top rope, Seth clips the leg, Riddle falls back in the Tree of Woe, but Seth runs up the corner and drops some stomps on Riddle. Cover for 1..2.NO!!!! Seth stares at the sign, then goes to punch Riddle, only for Riddle to lock in the triangle! Seth is on his heels, falls to his knees. GABLE WITH A HEADBUTT OUT OF NOWHERE!!! Orton in! German to Orton!!!! Locks up to Seth, rolls through and another GERMAN TO SETH!!! He lcoks the hips of Riddle, rolls though, ANOTHER GERMAN TO RIDDLE!!!! Gable grabs Riddle, the legal man, hits a suplex, poppin those hips! Gable to the top rope! He goes for a moonsault, but RIDDLE ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY AND ORTON HITS AN RKO!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!
Superkick to Orton!!! Superkick o Otis!!! Superkick from Seth to Otis! A kick from Owens AND Seth!!!
Seth sends Gable to the corner, Stunner! Stomp to Gable! Seth goes to cover! But Riddle is there to pull him out! He covers! Orton grabs Owens to preent the stop! 1…2…..3!!!!!
Winners: Randy Orton and Matt Riddle
Although the commentary team made it almost annoying to consider this great considering they told us just that over and over, please do not let that diminish the quality of the match. It started off cliché, with the whole one man out, two in thing, but quickly turned into something much, much better. Gable stood out amongst the others, but everyone did their part, and that freaking RKO. Good lord.
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 27:03
Seth and Owens are outside of the ring, very upset. Owens is sitting against the steps, staring off while his hands are clasped, pressed against his lips. Meanwhile, Seth is in a trance, walking slowly up the ramp, wheels turning.
Interviewer Kevin comes to the ring to ask Riddle and Orton what the victory means to them. It means, says Riddle, they’re going to Wrestlemania! Orton says he has never had this much fun as he is having right now in this ring with his partner Riddle. He means that from the bottom of his heart, and he’s going to say the F word. He’s not said it in 20 years, but he’ll say it now; Riddle is his FRIEND. Truth be told, he doesn’t have any other friends. They’re going to Mania.
I gotta give them credit for making Mania feel like a big deal. It comes off pretty genuine during a time where everyone is saying it, yet there’s not actual meaning or understanding as to why. This matters to someone like Orton as much as it matters to someone like Riddle, and that means something.
We return to RAW, and Owens is backstage, still upset over the loss. He is noticeably frustrated, saying no words, as we transition to the ring where Reggie and Dana are….existing.
Earlier, Dana asked Reggie for a good luck kiss, and he gave it to her.
Akira offered the same to Tamina backstage earlier as well, and she mauled him with her lips.
Match 2: Dana Brooke vs Tamina
Tamnia with a clothesine knocks Dana down hard. Tamina attacks with some right hands. Tamina tosses Dana across the ring by the head. Dana dodges a hit from Tamina then springboard and handsprings an elbow. She tries to attack again, but Tamina trucks her down. Tamina grabs the legs, turns Dana over and gets a Boston Crab locked in. Dana crawls towards Reggie.
Dana continues to scream. Dana reaches, uses the strength of true love and rolls Tamina into a pin for 1…2….31!1
Winner: Dana Brooke
-sigh-
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 1:41
Akira grabs a mic and yells that Dana cheated. The winner is the love of his life, Tamina. Akira drops the mic and holds his hands out, waiting for a kiss. Tamina puts his hands to his side. Akira has a sad face as the crowd boos. Tamina stops, a KISS HIM chant tries to start. Tamina leaves.
We head backstage to see Seth staring off in the distance, yet again. Kevin the interviewer asks for a comment. Seth is seething as Kevin walks away.
The Miz is in the ring. He gets the heroes welcome, says hello to his fellow Ohio peeps. He introduces Logan Paul.
Logan Paul looks like the guy that cuts in front of everyone at the bar, calls the bartender “My guy, my guy,” and orders a round of “jamo” for him and his peeps.
Logan says he is honored to be at Mania, to be Miz’s partner, and honored to be home. He grew up here, went to West Lake High School. He was a wrestler, placed fifth. He’s got nothing but respect for Cleveland. It made him the man he is today.
Miz says no, Logan made it on his own. Daddy didn’t get him a YouTube channel. Miz says Rey Mysterio has earned the right to be beloved, but so has Miz. He is booed for the same accolades Rey has. Not here, they get him. Who would you rather see in this ring? A father-son tag team of losers, or two pop culture icons standing before him.
Logan calls Rey a legend, but Dom is riding his coattails. Here in Cleveland, they step up, step out, and kick ass.
Finally, Miz introduces Jerry Lawler.
Lawler comes out in a Browns jersey with LAWLER on the back. He thanks Cleveland. He goes way back with the city. He goes over the cities he’s lived in. He’s wearing the Browns jersey because he was there in 64 when they wont the NFL Championship. He’s excited to be here, and he just realized that Miz, standing beneath the Mania sign, how would it be if they had Mania right here in Cleveland. Huh?
Miz says he loves the city, but it’s not exactly a Wrestlemania city.
Miz continues to berate Cleveland, hitting all the points.
They eventually walk out to boos.
This would have been much more impactful had the crowd really been pro-miz and Logan from the jump, but they were split, at best. They also did not need King out there at all.
Tomasso is backstage, and he’s with Bron!! Bron and his title are both on RAW! He thanks Kevin, says he’s excited. They are facing each other and Ziggler on NXT, but tonight, they are partners. DO they think Ziggler and Roode have a home field advantage? Bron says this is a dream come true, and he’ll make the most out of this opportunity. Ciampa says ZIggler talks a big game, but he’s never won the NT Title. They’ve beaten Ziggler and Roode before, and they’ll do it again on RAW.
The Street Profits are backstage big chillin. They are interrupted by Sarah, who wants to know what their plans are come Mania?
Last week, they pinned the new champs, so if anyone is first or next in line for a title shot, it’s them. Otis and Gable need to hit the back of the lines and the books and two more cliches that mean The Street Profits are next.
Match 3: Tommaso Ciampa and Bron Breaker vs Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode
Roode and Bron to start, and Bron is quick to show off why he’s on RAW with a delayed suplex to Roode. He kips up with a scream, grabs Roode by the head, and backs up into a tag. Ciampa kicks the side of Roode. Corners him. Chop to Roode. A whip to the corner is reversed, but Ciampa cuts it short and hits a clothesline. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Cravat from behind. Roode escapes, Ziggler gets a tag, and Ciampa rolls to the outside as we go to break.
Back, and Zigler is covering Ciampa for a 2. Ziggler drags Tommaso to the corner, tags in Roode, and helps to whip Ciampa into the ropes. Back elbow from both men and Roode drops a knee. Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Tag to Bron. Tag to Ziggler. Bron with a shoulder, kick to Ziggler, belly to belly over the head and holy shit that looked nice. He clotheslines Roode. Bron grabs Ziggler, lifts, Ziggler with akick, whip to the ropes, Ziggler tries for a Thesz Press, but Bron with a spinebuster! Bron with a clothesline. Bron lifts Ziggler, goes for a press, lifts Ziggler in th air, Roode distracts, Ziggler rolls up, holds the tights, 1..2..NO!!! Bron rushes the corner, Ziggler moves ot the side. Zig Zag to Bron. Cover for 1..2..N!O!! Ciampa there to stop the tag. Rood ein and gets sent to the apron, running knee fom Ciampa. Tommaso on the apron. Bron struggling to stand. Ziggler has no one. Ziggler tries for a superkick,
Bron catches it, goes for another press, holding Ziggler above his head, he brings Ziggler down into a powerslam! Cover for 1..2..3!!!
Winners: Tommaso Ciampa
A nice enough introduction to the NXT Champion. Got a few spots to look good at, but Ziggler is just…not an interesting foil.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 9:37
Ziggler says tomorrow there will be a triple threat for the title, and the second they turn their backs on Ziggler is when he strikes and becomes NXT Champion.
Someone left a camera on the floor, so Omos must look down on us for a promo to talk about getting a Wrestlemania moment.
Omos dominates Apollo Crews in a “match” here.
OMos is about to leave the ring, but Azeez checking on Apollo is enough to grow his ire. Omos gets back into the ring and stares the big man down. Azeez is undeterred. Actually, his lips are quivering quite a bit.
After a lengthy video package, we get Edge’s music hit, but cut short. A single spotlight shines blue over a nicely dressed Edge, wearing all black.
He takes forever to even lift the mic, staring left and right at the crowd. Finally, he says, “You think you know me?” Clearly, AJ doesn’t. He wants to talk to AJ, who is at home. Edge tells him to put the kiddos to bed. What he did last week, he did for AJ. He did it to help AJ. AJ wants to face him? Then he needs the best AJ. AJ helped him, too. His brain cracked open and the real Edge was allowed to be free and fly. It felt so good. It was a me that Edge has never met, a me that he has fallen in love with. Edge finally feels in control of this entire industry. He is standing on the mountain of omnipotence, and the view is phenomenal.
Fade to black
Then unfade to black, because it’s not time for a commercial. We get a replay of earlier tonight, where Seth and Kevin lost.
Backstage, Kevin Owens is mumbling to himself. He is walked up on by the other Kevin, and asked about his lack of path to Mania. What’s going on in his mind?
Kevin says he is not nearly as distraught as Rollins because the feeling he had when he realized they weren’t going to Mania, he never wants to feel that again, but he wont have to. He had an epiphany, an idea so brilliant that no one else can have. This idea will change his entire mania future. He will not share it, he’s gotta iron out some details. He will share this plan later tonight.
Match 4: Liv Morgan and Rhea Ripley vs Carmella and Zelina Vega
Liv and Mella to start. Mella corners Liv, Liv whips her into the opposite corner and hits a back elbow, rolls out then walks right back into position? Weird. Tag to Rhea. Dropkick to Carmella. Cover for 1…NO! Rhe hits a knee, another, a third knocks Mella down. Tag to Vega. She enters cautiously. Rhea misses a right, Vega sends Liv off the apron. Kick from Rhea. Rhea locks the head, delayed suplex, but Mella comes in, Rhea kicks her away like nothing, Vega lands on her feet, reaches for a tag, ducks under a right hand, spins with a DDT to Rhea, sending her to the outside. Tag to Mella. She rushes Rhea, kicks her head into the steps.
Back, and Vega has Rhea hurting. She sends her face first to the corner and tags in Mella. Rhea is able to drop her hard with a kick to the face. Tag to Liv! Tag to Vega! Liv with an enziguri! Dropkick to the back. Running high knee. Liv hops off the 2nd rope with a dropkick! Cover for 1..2…N!O!!! Liv with a surprise rollup as we are informed that Corey is checkin on Carmella.
Vega goes for a tag, but Mella is not there. She is thanking Graves. Liv takes the distraction to hit her finisher horribly. Tag to Rhea. Rhea in. Rip Tide. Cover. 1…2…3!!!
Winners: Rhea Ripley and Liv Morgan
They made something uninteresting even more uninteresting. Wow.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 9:00
We get a replay of Finn winning the US Title.
Match 5: Finn Balor vs Austin Theory
Theory starts with the strength, but Finn’s speed gets the better of him until he pulls Finn outside, sends him into the apron, then firemans, only for Finn to drop off and hit a slingblade on the outside!
We come back to Theory stomping Finn’s chest in then lifting Finn, grabing the head, hitting an easy suplex. Looked great. Theory drops Finn’s head on his knee, covers and gets a 1…2..NO!!! Theory shows some frustration. He continues to stare at the Mania sign. He lifts Theory, Finn drops him! 1916!!! Dropkick into the corner! Finn to the top rope!
PRIEST IS HERE ON THE APRON!! GOOZLE!!! He shoves Finn, causing him to choke himself up on the top rope for the DQ.
Winner: Finn Balor via DQ
A solid few minutes between these two.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 7;41
Priest grabs Finn and hits a huge Razor’s Edge.
Theory attacks Finn after the fact and takes a selfie.
Bianca backstage says she has one rule: Do not touch my hair. Becky got what she was asking for.
Kevin Owens is here to share his plan.
Owens is back. His idea is the biggest KO Show in the history of the KO Show. He knows his guest must be some low life from Texas. He could invite that blowhard JBL, but let’s be honest, the horns would make a more interesting guest. So no thanks. What about Booker T? Last week, he called Owens a liar, but he’s not lying about how he feels. Booker is from Texas yet spent most of his career in a tag team called Harlem Heat, then spoke in a horrible British accent. No thanks. Then, there’s the one and only HBK…A legend and proud Texan. But KO is a proud Canadian, so that’s a no go out of respect for Bret. HBK not invited.
He has the perfect guest. The embodiment of Texas, the broken down shell of his former self, living on past glory – it’s been a while, and he’s probably let himself go, drinking beer all day and night like the redneck he is. His knees are so shot that when he WAS here, he needed knee braces. Nothing would make him happier than to beat the hell out of this guy in his home state, and give him a stunner the world would talk about for years, then pour a nice glass of milk over his lifeless body. He knows he’s watching. He doesn’t have the guts to show up.
The bottom line is he is calling HIM out. STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!
End Show
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