wrestling / Video Reviews
CHIKARA The Parting of Ways and The Lodger Reviews
Loading...Gibsonville, NC – 7.8.2017
Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Juan Francisco de Coronado
Campeones de Parejas: Sonny Defarge & Cornelius Crummels
Young Lions Cup Champion: Hermit Crab
Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush.
Officer Bruno Meloni vs. Race Jaxon
Jaxon immediately bicycle kicks Meloni. Meloni responds with a side headlock takeover and a belly-to-belly suplex. He drives his elbow into Jaxon’s neck before landing a basement dropkick. Meloni bars Jaxon’s left arm. Jaxon pulls Meloni’s hair and warns him not to embarrass him ever again. Meloni Jon Woo dropkicks Jaxon to the corner. He misses a running knee and Jaxon scoops up Meloni for a backbreaker. Jaxon checks himself in the mirror as he brushes Meloni with the sole of his boot. Meloni forearms Jaxon several times in the face. Jaxon weaves Meloni into a back elbow and snapmares him into a rough kick to the back of the head. Jaxon puts Meloni’s sungless onto Meloni while putting on a straightjacket choke. Meloni kicks Jaxon in the head from the apron. He cuts off Jaxon’s charge with a back elbow and another with an upturned boot. Jaxon scoops him up for another backbreaker, but Meloni converts into a sleeper hold! Jaxon rams Meloni face first into the top turnbuckle to escape. Meloni avoids a knee and comes off the second rope with a crossbody. He hits Case Closed on Jaxon for two. As Meloni picks him up, Jaxon goes to Meloni’s eyes. He hits a clothesline through the ropes. Jaxon is distracted by the screen in the Sportatorium, yelling at Hype Rockwell in absentia. Meloni wipes him out with a baseball slide dropkick. Meloni schoolboys Jaxon back in the ring. Jaxon rolls forward and grabs the ropes, pinning Meloni at 6:22. This got across the point that Hype Rockwell is in Jaxon’s head. Meloni and Jaxon work well together, though it’s strange to me that Meloni wouldn’t be able to defeat a distracted Jaxon. I guess you can chalk that up to him being more used to tag team competition. **
Kobald is so excited to partner with Oleg the Usurper. Oleg is not happy about the team. Kobald says Oleg will defeat the Xyberhawx with “Off With His Head.” Oleg leaves without saying a word.
Xyberhawx 2000 (Razerhawk & Nytehawk) vs. Oleg the Usurper & Kobald
Kobald begged Director of Fun Mike Quackenbush to team with Oleg to the point where he had no choice but to acquiesce. Before the bell, Kobald presents Oleg with a belated birthday gift: an onion necklace. Oleg gives it back. Kobald says it’s okay that Oleg doesn’t like it, because he got another gift. He goes under the ring and asks for help from CHIKARA staff. Razerhawk has enough and goes to attack Oleg, but Oleg backdrops him onto the staff and Kobald outside! Kobald clobbers Razerhawk before putting him back in the ring.
Oleg goes for Off With His Head. Nytehawk goes to intercept but Kobald cuts him off. He wants to hit Off With His Head on Nytehawk, but Oleg stops him and places Kobald on the top turnbuckle. The Xyberhawk knock Oleg to the corner with double dropkicks. They rid of Kobald when he enters. Nytewhawk splashes Kobald on the floor. Oleg splashes Razerhawk against the ropes. He tries Off With His Head but is again halted by Nytehawk. Oleg sets up for a double chokeslam. Kobald sneaks underneath hoping to help. Again Oleg places Kobald on the top turnbuckle and tells him to stay put. Nytehawk assists Razerhawk with a Frankensteiner. Kobald spears Nytehawk and hits Feast Your Eyes on Razerhawk. Kobald crushes both Xyberhawk with a running elbow drop. Oleg picks up speed on the ropes but Kobald is in the way of his corner splash. Oleg has to stop and place Kobald on the top turnbuckle. The Xyberhawx escape Oleg’s splash after plenty of time to recover. Kobald catches Razerhawk’s Frankensteiner attempt. Oleg Usurper kicks Nytehawk. Kobald passes Razerhawk to Oleg for Off With His Head, getting Oleg the pin at 3:57. This was too short to be anything substantial, but you got the message loud and clear that Kobald is more of a hindrance to Oleg than he is a help. *
Officer Warren Barksdale vs. Hallowicked
A decoy Officer Magnum is carried in a dog bjorn on Barksdale’s back. Hallowicked calls Magnum a disgusting beast and says he hates dogs. Barksdale doesn’t care for how he’s talking to his partner and writes Hallowicked a ticket for animal cruelty. Hallowicked rips up the ticket and throws it away, so Barksdale issues a second ticket for littering. Hallowicked disposes of that ticket into the crowd. Barksdale issues a third ticket for assaulting a fan. Hallowicked only recognizes the authority of Nazmaldun. Fed up, Barksdale strikes Hallowicked to start the match.
Barksdale chops and punches Hallowicked to all four corners of the ring. He slams Hallowicked and goes for Obey the Law. Hallowicked slides out to the apron and sends Barksdale face first into the turnbuckle. He hits a slingshot senton for two. Barksdale waists no time after getting to his feet, going back to the strikes that got him control at the start. He muscles up Hallowicked for a spinebuster for two. He also gets two with a dropkick. Hallowicked turns things around with a high backdrop and a Rydeen Bomb for two. Barksdale and Hallowicked trade strikes. Barksdale scoops Hallowicked into a 2k1 Bomb for two. After a belly-to-back suplex, Barksdale ascends the ropes. Hallowicked shoves referee Kevin Burr into the ropes to crotch Barksdale on the top turnbuckle. Hallowicked hits a step-up enzuigiri and brings down Barksdale with a super snapmare. He follows up with a Swanton, but Barksdale gets up his knees to block it! Barksdale whips Hallowicked to the corner. He follows in with a running knee lift and comes off the ropes with a lariat. Frightmare comes down the aisleway. Dez Peloton come out to halt him from interfering. That’s enough to distract Barksdale, who is turned around for Never Wake Up. Barksdale weaves out and takes down Hallowicked with an elevated twisting neckbreaker. Barksdale lifts him up for Obey the Law. Hallowicked flips down forward and hits Never Wake Up for the win at 6:48. I really enjoy generational wars in companies like Dragon Gate and dug the concept here too, especially because Barksdale did a terrific job keeping on top of Hallowicked. Unfortunately for Barksdale, Hallowicked was able to catch him with his be all, end all maneuver at an opportune time. Dez Peloton and Frightmare’s interjection came off very forced and unnecessary and threw off the momentum Barksdale and Hallowicked earned. Despite that, I think this showing from Barksdale will serve him very well in the future. **½
Jeremy Leary says he’s shake, rattled, and rolled CHIKARA to its core. He’s been picking off CHIKARA’s heroes one on one, and next on his list is Icarus. He says Icarus may walk and talk like an angel, but he better get wise, because Leary is the devil in disguise.
Icarus vs. Jeremy Leary
Icarus replaces the originally scheduled Mark Angelosetti, who suffered a powerlifting injury earlier in the week. A win for Leary earns him his third point. Icarus takes umbrage with Leary saying he has the best hair in wrestling. Although Leary escapes Icarus’ side headlock, Icarus mows him down with a shoulder block. Icarus messes up Leary’s hair after bringing him back down in a side headlock. He hip tosses Leary for a one count. Leary spends time combing his hair, only for Icarus to pull him by the hair back to the apron and dropkicking him into the crowd. Icarus and a member of the CHIKARMY chop Leary outside. In the ring, Icarus takes Leary down with a diving clothesline. Leary sweeps out Icarus’ legs so he can get in a series of punches. Icarus turns it around with punches of his own. He pulls on Leary’s hair while digging his knee into Leary’s back. Bryce teaches Icarus that pulling the hair is illegal, which Icarus has some fun with. Icarus drives his body weight onto Leary’s back as Leary is placed on the middle rope. Leary jabs Icarus’ leg out and drills him in the side of the face with a boot for two. Leary dives off the middle rope with an uppercut to Icarus’ shoulder blades for two. Icarus evades a corner attack and again comes off the top, this time with a double axe handle. Leary cuts Icarus off with a jawbreaker. He holds onto Icarus’ hair as he puts him onto his shoulders. Icarus slides off but gets whipped to the corner. Icarus escapes to the apron but Leary yanks him down by the hair. He gives Icarus a rope-assisted stunner for two. Leary calls for the Samoan Drop. Icarus escapes and schoolboys Leary. Leary rolls through and holds onto the middle rope for a pin, but Bryce catches him and kicks the hand away. Leary argues with Bryce, allowing Icarus time to recover and hit the Blu-Ray for the pin at 11:28. The hair bit was clever and helped the match stand out, but there wasn’t much to it besides that. I didn’t expect Leary to earn a Grand Championship opportunity, but sadly Touchdown wasn’t here to earn his own. It was cool to see Icarus get to show off his offense at least. **¼
Ashley Vox says she finally get her hands on Merlok tonight. Vox just needs to know what it takes to ultimately get her revenge on him. Obariyon says he told her already how to do so: to find the deepest, darkest place inside herself, and once she thinks she’s gone as far as she can, go further. Delmi Exo tells her that they’ve been sea stars for 21 years and they’ve done just fine without going to a deep, dark place. She leaves unhappy. Obariyon reiterates to Ashley that he told her what to do. Vox is conflicted.
Obariyon, Ashley Vox & Delmi Exo vs. Merlok, Hermit Crab & Cajun Crawdad
This is a rematch from “Bad Wolf.” Worth mentioning that later on tonight on the evening card, Hermit Crab puts his Young Lions Cup on the line against Cajun Crawdad. Crawdad digs his pincers into Vox. She fights out and sends him out with a satellite DDT. Crab stops her from going after Merlok, so she dropkicks him to the corner and follows in with a back elbow and basement dropkick. She pummels Merlok, but he quickly grabs Vox and drives her face first into the turnbuckles. She swings as Merlok holds her by the head, but Merlok knocks her down with a headbutt. After multiple failed pin attempts, Crawdad gator rolls Vox before drilling her with a standing neckbreaker. Crab misses a Naniwa elbow, allowing Vox to roll over and tag in Exo. Exo hits an enzuigiri on Crawdad. She ducks a clothesline and powerslams Crawdad as he comes off the ropes. Crab breaks her pin. Exo holds onto Crab’s arm as she yanks into a triumvirate of clotheslines and a side Russian legsweep. She strings a corner splash and bulldog together. Merlok interjects with a jab right to Exo’s throat. This allows Crab to pull off a suplex for two. Vox and Obariyon shout words of encouragement to Exo as the Seven Seas trio wear her down. Exo fights out of Crab and Crawdad’s Low Tide. She rolls to the floor, triggering a tag to Obariyon. He dropkicks Merlok off the apron. He strikes Crawdad in the face with his knee. He switches between Crab and Crawdad with clotheslines into opposite corners. He knocks Merlok off the apron when he sees him reviving. He drops Crab with a Michinoku Driver but Crawdad breaks up the cover. Obariyon powerbombs Vox onto Crab and Crawdad after making them accidentally pinch one another. Crab and Crawdad are wiped up with stereo dives. Exo goes for another but Merlok cuts her off with a back elbow. Merlok halts Obariyon ascension to the top rope. Vox has a violence party on Merlok, but Merlok takes her out with a jab. Crab and Crawdad argue outside, leaving Merlok on his own. Vox holds onto Merlok’s back after lighting him up with strikes. He whips her forward but misses a cannonball senton. Merlock uses Vox to knock Obariyon off the top rope. He then hits Vox with Emerald Flowsion for the pin at 10:53. Merlok looks powerful in defeating a trio essentially by himself with Crab and Crawdad, and we see that Exo is getting close to where she needs to be mentally in order to defeat him, but isn’t there quite yet. It was a good match to progress the story and gives the Sea Stars moments to shine. **
Vox is angry at herself. Backstage, she asks Obariyon what it’s going to take. He says he told her what it will take. Vox says “you want me to go to dark places? Then let’s go!” Obariyon gives a smile, while Exo leaves in the other direction displeased.
Missile Assault Man says he lost a lot of allies to get to the Grand Championship match; he’s not afraid to lose an enemy. He will stop at nothing to win the title.
Grand Championship
Juan Francisco de Coronado vs. Missile Assault Man
Juan Francisco de Coronado has been champion since 4.1.2017 and this is his third defense. At the end of the “Johnny Kidd Invitational”, The Whisper suggested to Juan that he could teach him a “trick” to defeat Missile Assault Man. Right after, The Whisper posted a blog offering to help Missile Assault Man win the Grand Championship and set him free. These two wrestled twice during Season 17. Missile defeated Coronado at “Happily Ever After”, and Coronado defeated Missile at “The Shape of Things to Come.” This serves as the rubber match.
Coronado tries hitting Missile with the title belt before the bell. Missile trips him and goes for the Sharpshooter, but Coronado slides outside. Missile assaults Coronado with several European uppercuts and stomps him down in the corner upon the bell ringing. He does damage to Coronado’s shoulders with uppercuts in the ropes, as well as whipping Coronado across the ring twice. The third time, Coronado bails to the apron. Missile sweeps out his legs, causing Coronado to crash to the floor. Missile follows with a suicide dive. Missile’s advantage is short lived, as Coronado powerbombs him onto the ring apron. Coronado drives Missile’s back into the apron repeatedly. He ends up chopping the ring post by accident. Missile takes back over inside the ring where he does further damage to Coronado’s left hand. Coronado turns things around by forearming Missile repeatedly in the back. Missile picks him up in a fireman’s carry. Coronado holds onto the top rope to come down and hit Missile with an enzuigiri. They trade positions until Missile gets on the Sharpshooter. Coronado gets the ropes. He comes off the middle ropes with another back attack and knocks down Missile with a clothesline. Coronado gets two with a tornado DDT after a suplex. Missile resists the Coronado Clutch. A rolling Death Valley Driver gets Missile a nearfall of his own. Missile clobbers the small of Coronado’s back and gives him the Missile Stomp, ending with stomps on the hurt hand. Coronado fails to escape Missile’s trifecta of Northern Lights suplexes, with Missile trapping Coronado’s hurt hand behind his back. Despite the damage, Coronado kicks out of Missile’s pin attempt. Coronado fights out of the Missile Launcher and prawn holds Missile into a chest stomp. Coronado locks for the Coronado Clutch. Missile rolls forward, sending Coronado to the ropes. Coronado crossbody’s Missile, sending both men tumbling to the floor. Coronado recovers first. Uncharacteristically, Coronado suicide dives onto Missile twice. The third time, Missile catches Coronado and suplexes him on the floor! This does damage to Missile as well. Both men barely make it back inside before the twenty count. They trade strikes on their knees. On their feet, Missile unloads with European uppercuts. Coronado interrupts with a boot to the stomach. He tries the Tiger Driver. Missile counters with a huracanrana for two. Coronado rakes his eyes and hits the Tiger Driver for two. Coronado grabs his title belt. Referee Bryce Remsburg tries to pull it out his hands. Missile hits Coronado with a dropkick, causing Coronado to crash into Bryce and knock him down. Missile gets on the Sharpshooter. Coronado taps out, but Bryce is still down. Missile releases to check on Bryce. Coronado tries bringing in his Ecuadorian flag but Missile halts him. Missile tries the Missile Launcher. Coronado escapes, low blows Missile, and sends him shoulder first into the ring post. Coronado German suplexes Missile, and somehow Missile kicks out! Coronado pulls Missile’s ear up to his mouth. Coronado whispers something to Missile and does a gesture with his arm. Missile goes limp and Coronado puts him in the Coronado Clutch. Missile’s arm drops three times, giving Coronado the win at 24:03.
The wrestling here was top notch, with each guy finding their focus (Coronado on Missile’s back and Missile on Coronado’s hand and neck) and Coronado trying to use shortcuts when he felt Missile was too much for him to handle. Then the finish came and diminished every bit of work put into the previous 23 or so minutes of story telling. I understand that the post-credits sequence of the JKI all but telegraphed a crummy finish, but the way it was done here felt so ham fisted and dissatisfying. If Coronado had this ace up his sleeve the entire match, why did he wait until they were 23 minutes deep into the contest? Could The Whisper not conjure up something stronger for Coronado so that he didn’t need to endure 20+ minutes of abuse, or dish out 20+ minutes of abuse, to be effective? Why is the Whisper helping Coronado anyways? Does The Whisper want to help, or harm Missile Assault Man? To be quite honest, if they wanted to tell this story on the undercard, it wouldn’t bother me so much. Having it come at the end of a great Grand Championship match feels like a slap in the face. Don’t waste your time on this one. *
Missile snaps out of his trance and attacks Coronado. He yells “no!” and “no more!” in anguish before heading to the back.
Gibsonville, NC – 7.8.2017
Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Juan Francisco de Coronado
Campeones de Parejas: Sonny Defarge & Cornelius Crummels
Young Lions Cup Champion: Hermit Crab
Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush.
Lucas Calhoun vs. The Whisper
Whisper slithers away from Calhoun’s lock-up attempt. Calhoun stomps on his foot and punches him in the side before locking up Whisper’s elbow joint. Calhoun uses a palm strike to the chest to knock the Whisper down. Calhoun throws a pair of kicks to Whisper’s midsection, surprisingly bringing a grimace to his face. More karate kicks and strikes follow, ending with an enzuigiri. After a few shots blocked by Calhoun, Whisper palm strikes Calhoun in the stomach and cackles at him. Whisper kicks out Calhoun’s legs and elbows the back of his head. He uses Calhoun’s back to pop up into a leg drop across the back of Calhoun’s neck. Whisper mimics Calhoun’s open handed strikes and elbow joint lock. Whisper makes a comment about Calhoun “showing him” this type of offense. He then uncorks a one legged dropkick. Whisper maneuvers his way to the top turnbuckle and comes down with a 450 splash for two. Whisper blocks Calhoun’s strikes. Calhoun seems in disbelief as Whisper pulls him into a clothesline. He pulls Calhoun into a seat belt pin for the victory at 6:18. As expected, this match exposed that the Whisper has some familiarity with Calhoun’s past, which is to be expected, especially since he read Missile Assault Man’s journal in which Calhoun was named.The Whisper being “taught” his karate by Calhoun and Calhoun not remembering is interesting. It’s interesting to me as a CHIKARA fan, but the crowd couldn’t be bothered to make much noise outside of the 450 splash. This match was solid, but totally secondary to the story element. *½
Donald Kluger says he is tired. Jasper Tippins smacks him in the face and convinces him he is not tired. He says they’re far away from where they once were (three points), but it won’t take long at all for them to get there again. The dirty boys are at the top of the summit, but it’s Dez Peloton who have the endurance to once again climb the summit. Tonight they begin that climb.
Dez Peloton were scheduled to face The Closers tonight, but Rick Roland suffered a knee injury that is going to keep him out of action for a long while. We’ll see Sloan Caprice in singles competition later, but Dez Peloton need new opponents! In their place are Gibsonville favorites and former CWF Mid-Atlantic tag team champions, the Sandwich Squad of Aaron Biggs and Mecha Mercenary!
Dez Peloton (Jasper Tippins & Donald Kluger) vs. Aaron Biggs & Mecha Mercenary
Mercenary makes it clear the sandwiches they came to the ring with are not on the line tonight. He easily throws Tippins down out of a lock-up twice. Tippins tires Mercenary by making him run the ropes. Biggs tags in. Tippins avoids his clotheslines. Kluger ducks his clotheslines several times which tires Biggs out. Biggs’ size renders Kluger’s crossbody worthless. Mercenary and Biggs set Kluger up for the Club Sandwich. Kluger runs out of the way, but the Squad stops themselves from running into each other. Dez Peloton try sunset flips but fail. The Sandwich Squad try to sit on them and also fail. Biggs rolls outside. Mercenary avoids a high crossbody from Tippins and shoulder blocks him down. The Sandwich Squad pummel Tippins in their half of the ring. Tippins gets a sleeper onto Biggs. Mercenary gives Biggs his sandwich, and a bite gives him the strength to back Tippins into the corner. Tippins gets a sleeper on Mercenary as well. The sandwich gives him the strength to throw Tippins off. Tippins catches Mercenary with a jawbreaker and rolls to the floor, bringing in Kluger. He does damage to Mercenary’s throat and chest. Biggs accidentally splashes his own partner in the corner. Tippins ends up with the sandwich in his hands. Biggs chases Tippins out of the building when Tippins bites his sandwich. Biggs misses a splash to Kluger in the corner, colliding into the turnbuckles. Kluger Climbs the Summit and gets the win at 8:25. The Sandwich Squad did such a good job acclimating to the CHIKARA environment, and Dez Peloton was the perfect team to play off of. This was really fun and it wouldn’t surprise me to see them back in CHIKARA. **½
DUSTIN vs. Sloan Caprice
DUSTIN was originally set to face Wani. No Wani here, and the currently solo Sloan Caprice takes his place. Caprices immediately throws DUSTIN out of a waistlock. Caprice hurts DUSTIN in a double knuckle lock. DUSTIN kicks him away with both feet from the apron. DUSTIN has difficulty escaping a tight side headlock from Caprice. Caprice is forced to do so when backed to the ropes, but Caprice knocks him down with a running shoulder block. DUSTIN evades a corner attack. He dropkicks Caprice’s knee out and double stomps on his back. DUSTIN puts him in a modified Octopus Stretch. When DUSTIN tries to convert to a sunset flip, Caprice resists and powerslams DUSTIN for two. Caprice slingshots DUSTIN off of all four ropes before suplexing him. Caprice whips DUSTIN to the corner and stands on his back. He puts the floor camera into DUSTIN’s face as he chokes him with the other hand. DUSTIN strikes Caprice away, but Caprice catches him coming off the ropes with a backbreaker. DUSTIN drop toe holds Caprice into the middle turnbuckle and drops him with a DDT. After a series of jabs, DUSTIN weaves Caprice into Sole Food, a move Chuck Taylor™ usually doesn’t allow him to do. DUSTIN enzuigiri’s Caprice to the floor and follows with a pescado. From the apron, Caprice catches DUSTIN with a knee strike. He slingshots in with a schoolboy for two. He lifts up DUSTIN with one-arm for a powerbomb, then turns him over into a half crab. DUSTIN fights his way off of Caprice’s shoulders and shoves him to the corner. After another enzuigiri, he does the deal with a Falcon Arrow for two. He removes his sweater vest and climbs up top. Caprice catches DUSTIN and brings him down with a super Frankensteiner. He follows up with a shotgun dropkick. He puts on DUSTIN’s sweater vest to mock him. That time costs him, as he misses a Swanton Bomb. DUSTIN cracks Caprice with the Brodie Knee. Although a schoolboy only gets two, DUSTIN dazes Caprice with a superkick. Caprice tries to get him on the shoulders. DUSTIN fights off and jams Caprice with a short piledriver for the pin at 10:19. This was really good. Caprice looked dominant and focused as he overpowered DUSTIN but also focused his attack on his back. His constant desire to polish him off by a move over his shoulders ultimately made it easy for DUSTIN to scout and retaliate with the piledriver. These two picked up the pace and the intensity at the right times and the crowd was compelled. Caprice is going to be just fine on his own. CHIKARA kindly put this up on YouTube for free and I very much recommend checking it out. ***
Hermit Crab is angry at Cajun Crawdad for pinching him earlier tonight. Crab won the Young Lions Cup on his own, proving he doesn’t need Crawdad. He will leave North Carolina still Young Lions Cup champion.
Young Lions Cup
Hermit Crab vs. Cajun Crawdad
Hermit Crab has been champion since 6.18.2017 and this is his first defense. Both men believe the other should lay down for one another, which leads to a shoving match and each man slapping one another. They each dig their pincers into one another’s shoulders. Crab trips Crawdad looking for the Boston Crab. Crawdad shifts his hips but Crab rolls him up for two. Crab sends Crawdad outside. Crawdad walks away from Crab’s dive attempt. However, Crab follows him with a huge tope suicida! Crab tries to chokeslam Crawdad onto the ring apron. Crawdad instead gives Crab a twisting neckbreaker on the apron. They both crawl back into the ring slowly. Crawdad charges at Crab. Crab catches him with a wheelbarrow suplex into the corner. Crab Gator Rolls Crawdad to play mind games. Crawdad resists a suplex. He maneuvers Crab into a brainbuster across his knee. Crawdad plays his own mind games by Naniwa walking onto the middle rope, but is not as comfortable on the middle rope. Crab jumps up, grabs Crawdad by the throat, and brings him down with a Spanish Fly! Worn out, each man digs their pincer into one another again. Crawdad breaks free. He prawn holds Crab and turns him into the Boston Crab. Crab reverses. Crawdad taps out at 8:36. These two went out there and had a match to make all the GIFfers on Twitter happy. However, they were wise enough to wrap it in a story of each competitor having to use new offense that their partner would not be familiar with. The aping of moves was expected, but I liked that it was what cost Crawdad the contest. This certainly exceeded expectations and will be one many remember for awhile. ***
Last Man Standing
Fire Ant vs. Frightmare
The only way to win is to knock out your opponent for a referee’s ten count. Knowing Frightmare usually starts the match with a yakuza kick, Fire Ant cuts him off with a running forearm at the jump, and follows him outside with a suicide dive. Fire Ant fights for a suplex on the floor. Instead, Frightmare drops Fire Ant chest first on the apron and cracks him with a yakuza kick to the side of the head. Frightmare pulls Fire Ant up by the antennae. He yakuza kicks Fire Ant who holds onto the top rope to prevent falling to the floor. Frightmare pulls Fire Ant up to the top turnbuckle. Fire Ant palm strikes him away. Frightmare ducks the diving Yahtzee kick and land a Pele kick. Fire Ant rolls outside. Frightmare tope con hilo’s after him. Fire Ant avoids a chair shot and backdrops Frightmare onto the edge of the ring. Fire Ant gets ahold of the chair. Frightmare kicks his legs out, causing the chair to ricochet up into his throat. Frightmare then throws the chair at Fire Ant’s head twice! Frightmare sets up a chair for possibly a suplex, but Fire Ant turns it around with a suplex of his own! He then throws the other chair at Frightmare’s head twice. With the chair hanging onto Frightmare’s neck, Fire Ant sends him throat first to the corner. Fire Ant props up two chairs back to back. Unfortunately for him, Frightmare slams Fire Ant back first onto the chairs’ backs! He bodyslams Fire Ant onto both chairs, now folded up. Frightmare brings in numerous metal chairs from the audience. Fire Ant uses rapid fire palm strikes on Frightmare. Frightmare yanks him down by an antennae and hits a standing moonsault. Frightmare does more damage to Fire Ant’s back before choking him with his own arm. Since rope breaks don’t count, Frightmare is able to yank on his antennae when Fire Ant instinctively grabs them. Frightmare goes for a yakuza kick. Fire Ant evades it, Frightmare gets stuck on the ropes, allowing Fire Ant to nail a trifecta of kicks to the head. He comes off the top, dropkicking a chair into Frightmare’s face. Fire Ant spikes him on a chair with a satellite DDT. Fire Ant hits him with a number of Yahtzee Kicks. Frightmare throws a chair at his legs. He spikes Fire Ant with a crucifix driver and Go 2 Sleep. He sets up two chairs and props Fire Ant onto them. Frightmare hits Kneecolepsy! Fire Ant briefly gets up to break the count but is in immense pain. Frightmare sets up four chairs near a turnbuckle. He also props up a chair in the corner. He sends Fire Ant back first into the chair before coming off the middle turnbuckle with a back cracker. Frightmare pulls up Fire Ant onto the chairs and drills him onto them with the Friggin’ Sweet Driver! He holds up Bryce Remsburg’s count so he can do more punishment, throwing chairs at Fire Ant’s body before hitting kneecolepsy to the back. He tries to pull off on of Fire Ant’s antennae. He ends up onto Fire Ant’s shoulders, allowing Fire Ant to hit the Beach Break onto a pile of chairs. Fire Ant gets up before the ten count, but Frightmare does not, making Fire Ant the winner at 16:45. That was violent, creative, and felt appropriate given how personal the issue has become. Fire Ant needed the win here and it shows that Frightmare, while still dangerous, isn’t unstoppable. It gives the Furies hope and portrays their persistence in getting their own hands dirty to prevent Nazmaldun from wreaking havoc again. The only complaint I have is that after all Fire Ant endured, it seemed as if it should’ve taken more than just one Beach Break on the chairs to keep Frightmare down. That nitpick aside I thought this match was a success. ***½
Solo Darling is excited for their match tonight. She tries to give Travis Huckabee a matching bumblebee headband. Huckabee doesn’t want to wear it, but agrees that he’ll wear it during their first interview as Campeones de Parejas. Solo agrees with a handshake.
Campeonatos de Parejas
Sonny Defarge & Cornelius Crummels vs. The Rumblebees (Solo Darling & Travis Huckabee)
Defarge & Crummels have been champions since “The Shape of Things to Come” and this is their fourth defense. Darling has trouble with the bigger Defarge, but is able to tumble through a wristlock and kick him to the ropes. She armdrags him to the apron and knocks him down with a hip attack. Crummels sneezes in Huckabee’s face to break a waistlock. He chops Huckabee several times with his gross hand, only for Huckabee to knock him down with one good headbutt to the chest. He too knocks his opponent to the floor with a hip attack. Defarge intercepts Huckabee, suplexing him into a leaping elbow from Crummels. Huckabee manages to German suplex Defarge. Crummels tries to stop Huckabee from tagging but fails. Huckabee assists Darling with a back elbow. Defarge and Crummels stop the Rumblebees double hip attack. Crummels sends Darling into the ring post as Defarge holds onto Huckabee back in the ring. They give Huckabee the Nightcap to pick up the first fall at 6:59. Darling is still recovering at the beginning of the second fall, leaving Huckabee to continue taking the brunt of the Campeones’ offense. Once again he catches Defarge with a German suplex to stop his onslaught and tags in Darling. Huckabee again assists Darling with a back elbow, and also assists with a headscissors to Defarge. She cascades up Defarge, coming down behind and taking him down by the knee. She goes for the Sharp Stinger (a mix of sharpshooter and cloverleaf) but Crummels interjects and breaks the hold on behalf of his partner. Darling now finds herself isolated in the Campeones’ corner. She kicks out of Oliver Twist. Huckabee makes the save when she succumbs to the Nightcap. Darling is able to escape, making Huckabee the legal man. He takes Oliver Twist, but is able to maneuver Defarge into back elbowing Crummels. Darling spears Defarge. Huckabee spins Crummels around in a Stretch Muffler. Darling puts him in the Long Bow submission. Crummels taps out at 15:23, tying up the match at one fall a piece.
The third fall begins with a facebuster/Gory Bomb combo from the Rumblebees onto Crummels. She puts Crummels back in the Long Bow. Defarge stomps Darling to break the hold. Huckabee gives Defarge a few shots. He goes for another German suplex, but this time Defarge has it scouted and nails Huckabee with a rolling lariat! He places Huckabee on the top rope. He knees Darling off the apron. Crummels leaps off his back for the super monkey flip! Crummels lands awkwardly on his back despite hitting the move successfully. He rolls outside while Defarge once again places Huckabee on the top turnbuckle. Defarge brings him down with a super gutbuster! Huckabee is able to bridge out of the pin attempt right before three. Darling kicks Defarge’s leg out from behind. A hip attack to the face sends him out. Darling pulls Crummels back into the ring and puts him in the Sharp Stinger. Defarge kicks Darling in the head, but she refuses to release the hold! Defarge kicks her again to no avail. Huckabee halts his third kick and hip tosses him outside! Crummels crawls to the ropes, finally escaping Carling’s hold. Darling and Crummels strike one another as they slowly get to their feet. Darling schoolgirls Crummels for two. Defarge blasts Darling with a running uppercut. He overhand chops Huckabee. Huckabee backs him to the corner where Crummels happens to be. He sunset flips Huckabee into the Nightcap. Crummels small packages Huckabee, but Huckabee reverses the cradle and pins Crummels, winning the titles at 24:01!
The two teams did a terrific job taking the audience on an emotional journey. The Campeones wits and penchant for isolating one of the Rumblebees was no match for their determination and teamwork. I like how Crummels and Defarge used the Nightcap and never even attempted Great Expectations, because by this point it’s something Darling and Huckabee would have well scouted. I also like Darling incorporating some new submissions into her repertoire as it portrays a symbiose between her and Huckabee. I actually think the third fall concluding with the Sharp Stinger would’ve been more effective, but you wouldn’t have had the moment at the end where the crowd for a moment didn’t realize who won the match because of how the small package was executed. This was a feel good moment for the Rumblebees and a fine contest for Crummels and Defarge to end their title reign. ***½
Los Ice Creams come out to celebrate the win with the Rumblebees. Unbeknownst to them, Ice Cream Jr. hands his Golden Opportunity to Bryce Remsburg! The Rumblebees are forced to put their freshly won titles on the line!
Campeonatos de Parejas
The Rumblebees (Solo Darling & Travis Huckabee) vs. Los Ice Creams (El Hijo del Ice Cream & Ice Cream Jr.)
Hijo hits Huckabee with a Cold Stone Stunner! Jr. rolls up an unsuspecting Darling to pick up the first fall at 0:07. Los Ice Creams double boot Darling to the floor. Jr. gives Huckabee a Manhattan Drop. Hijo hits El Asesino and pin Huckabee at 1:01, winning the match 2 falls to zero and winning los Campeones de Parejas! I give CHIKARA credit; despite a precedent being set AFTER Los Ice Creams cashed in at “Back in the Habit”, I completely forgot Los Ice Creams would technically still have one Golden Opportunity left to cash in, and I’m sure the Rumblebees didn’t consider it either when they slowly befriended Los Ice Creams throughout the Season. Obviously, the dynamic between the two teams will be changed because of this moment, and what a moment it was.
Encore Match
Razerhawk vs. Mr. Azerbaijan
Azerbaijan immediately boots Razerhawk in the stomach. He kicks him a few more times and clobbers on his back. Razerhawk ducks a clothesline and takes down Azerbaijan with a satellite headscissors. He comes off the second rope with an alita. Azerbaijan scoops him up for a release side slam. He slams Razerhawk and runs into a lateral press for one. He releases Razerhawk out of a suplex as well. Azerbaijan peels him off the mat. Razerhawk ducks a pair of clotheslines and hits one of his own. He also hits a back handspring elbow. Azerbaijan rolls to the floor and Razerhawk suicide dives after him. Azerbaijan picks Razerhawk off the top and slams him for two. Azerbaijan places him up top again. Razerhawk fights him off and comes down with a swinging Frankensteiner. He spikes Azerbaijan with a wheelbarrow bulldog, then lands a Swanton Bomb for the pin at 3:51. I’m glad Razerhawk got the chance to show off here after a perplexing tag match on the matinee card. Besides, any match with Mr. Azerbaijan is a home run in my book. *¼
Jeremy Leary is waiting for Lucas Calhoun outside the building. Calhoun asks what he could possibly want after he already took everything from him. The only thing stopping him from hurting Leary is that there is usually a paycheck when he fights. If Leary wants to tussle, however, he’ll do it for free. Leary says it’s never been about the car, the threads, or “our” hair. He says they’re two of the same part on the conveyor belt. Calhoun grabs him by the collar. He says he’s his own man; they aren’t friends, and they aren’t family. Leary says they aren’t family, they’re something far greater. Calhoun can deny it all he wants, but in case he has any doubt, Leary shows him something we can’t see on his phone. Calhoun asks out loud “what am I?” before the screen goes dark.
