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Csonka’s Impact Wrestling Review 11.15.18
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Csonka’s Impact Wrestling Review 11.15.18
OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Non-Title Match: Knockouts Champion Tessa Blanchard defeated Ray Lyn @ 3:10 via pin [**]
– Non-Title Match: Tag Team Champions LAX defeated Fallah Bahh & KM @ 7:30 via pin [**¾]
– Non-Title Match: Impact World Champion Johnny Impact defeated Matt Sydal @ 8:15 via pin [***]
– Su Yung defeated Heather Monroe @ 2:35 via submission [NR]
– X-Division Title Match: Champion Cage defeated Sami Callihan @ 13:15 via pin [**¾]
– Follow all of my reviews at this link.
– You can check out my top 36 matches of SEPTEMBER list at this link.
– Csonka’s Impact Bound for Glory 2018 Takeaways.
– Csonka: 8 Female Talents I Want in Impact Wrestling.
– Csonka: 8 Male Talents I Want in Impact Wrestling.
Non-Title Match: Knockouts Champion Tessa Blanchard vs. Ray Lyn: They lock up and Tessa immediately overpowers Lyn. Tessa follows with clubbing strikes and après slam into a gut buster. The cutter follows and then the running kick. Lyn fights out of a back breaker, hits running knees and a RANA. The dropkick connects, but Tessa cuts her off and chokes her out in the ropes and follows with a buckle bomb. The buzz saw DDT finishes it. Knockouts Champion Tessa Blanchard defeated Ray Lyn @ 3:10 via pin [**] This was a quick and solid squash for Tessa.
– Post match, Tessa runs down Taya for not being in her league. Tessa’s been dying to know how it feels to be nothing more than Johnny Impact’s wife. Taya runs off Tessa and they talk trash. She is proud to be Johnny’s wife, and says if Tessa thinks she’s the best, she gets to prove it on January 6th at Homecoming.
BREAKING: The Knockouts Championship match is OFFICIAL.
On January 6th in The Asylum in Nashville, @TheTayaValkyrie will challenge @Tess_Blanchard for the Knockouts Championship. #IMPACTHomecoming pic.twitter.com/2N0OghvqUp
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) November 16, 2018
– Fallah Bahh & KM are here, and they face LAX tonight in a non-title match.
– Dezmond Xavier meets with Zachary Werntz and Trey Miguel. They are doing a That 70s Show pot smoking parody, complete with laugh track. They have a match in two weeks.
The Rascalz are coming to IMPACT in TWO WEEKS! #IMPACTonPop @DezmondXavier @TheTreyMiguel @zachary_wentz pic.twitter.com/6rNG3qdnCz
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) November 16, 2018
Non-Title Match: Tag Team Champions LAX vs. Fallah Bahh & KM: Konnan is out with LAX. Santana and Bahh to begin. Santana looks to pick up the pace right away, and they work into some counters with Bahh. Bahh now starts to overpower him, Santana fires up but Bahh take shim down with a shoulder tackle. Santana now hits arm drags, but Bahh then hits one and then hits Japanese arm drags. Bahh misses the sit-down splash, and they work into a standoff. They shake hands, enziguri by Santana and Ortiz tags in for double teams. They dump Bahh, but Bahh cuts off Ortiz, and tags in KM. The slam and elbow drop follows and Bahh hits a steamroller and then one from KM. They work quick tags, and isolate Ortiz as KM tags back in and Ortiz runs Bahh into KM and tags in Santana KM catches the high cross, but Santana escapes and hits the senton for 2. Ortiz back in and KM cuts them off with a double suplex. Bahh tags in with a running cross body to both, hits corner splashes, and then hits ass attacks. KM back in and Bahh hits the Samoan drop for 2. Bahh looks for a banzai drop, but Santana sends KM into Bahh’s ass. LAX now runs wild on KM, hitting double teams and the lionsault finishes KM. Tag Team Champions LAX defeated Fallah Bahh & KM @ 7:30 via pin [**¾] This was pretty good and Bahh continues to be so much fun.
– Su Yung’s next victim (Heather Monroe) talks and is very confident, but Kiera Hogan arrives to warm her about Yung.
– Scarlett walks and guys who sent her videos fight over her.
– At the LAX clubhouse, Ortiz makes fun of Santana for Bahh out wrestling him. They talk about the OGz and say they will never see them again. Santana & Ortiz want to give Pentagon & Fenix a tag title shot. Konnan says not right now, noting that he’s never steered them wrong.
– The GWN flashback is Callihan’s debut with oVe, taking out LAX.
– Sydal talks with Page about their destiny being in the right direction. Page praises Sydal and says he gets to watch him beat Johnny Impact tonight. Sydal says he sees through Impact and will beat him tonight and show him the path to enlightenment.
– Gama, Singh, & Raju chill poolside They talk about Indian food and Raju then puts over Thanksgiving food. Gama is pissed about this, and runs down American. They will ruin Thanksgiving next week.
– The fucking turkey suit match returns next week.
Eli Drake Talks: Drake calls himself the last of a dying breed, and ended Abyss’ career last week and has dropped the lawsuit. It was all a trap to take out Joe Park/Abyss. He then runs down the guys playing wrestler these days, guys that look like the fans. These guys do stupid shit in the ring, while they wait for a guy like Drake. He runs down Abyss and all hardcore wrestlers. He doesn’t do any of that crap, and can take you out on the mic. Last week was the beginning of his crusade to get rid of the stunts and gimmicks, because he is wrestling. Tommy Dreamer now arrives. Drake runs down Dreamer as a sad old man that does hardcore shit. Dreamer’s the problem just like Abyss. Dreamer threatens to bit off Drake’s finger, and says Drake would taste like chicken. Dreamer is offended, and calls Drake a skinny jean wearing millennial. Dreamer defines hardcore wrestling as a work ethic from those who love the business. He praises Konnan for the lucha revolution, from Eddie, to Rey, to Pentagon and Fenix today. Dreamer says that Drake is rewriting history, and puts over Sabu, Mick Foley, and Abyss for their sacrifices. The most hardcore people are the fans, and says Drake doesn’t know what it’s like to work hard to attend shows, The people made them. Drake has insulted the fans and Dreamer. Drake mockingly claps and says he struck a nerve. He says Dreamer could never touch Drake on his worst day. Dreamer is sick of talking and wants a fight. Drake bails and leaves. Well, the promo work was good and they thankfully dropped the lawsuit bullshit for Drake’s new mission to take out hardcore dudes, This was pretty solid, Drake is good on the mic, but it still feels like he’s being wasted to me.
– Alisha meets with Moose, and says Eddie is on his way and Moose should leave. Moose doesn’t care after what he did to Eddie last week. If he shows up, he’ll call the police.
– The refs argue about Tessa and impact being an unsafe working environment. Scarlett arrives and intimidates them with sexiness.
Non-Title Match: Impact World Champion Johnny Impact vs. Matt Sydal: Page is out with Sydal. Sydal talks his third eye shit, and they lock up. They work into some counters, and Sydal follows with leg kicks. They pick up the pace, Sydal takes impact down and Impact hits the standing shooting star press for 2. Sydal cuts him off with a kick and Impact spills to the floor. Sydal follows and lays in kicks. Back in and Impact hits a sunset flip for 2. Sydal now attacks the knee, and works an inverted Muta lock. Impact escapes, but Sydal continues to attack the knee. The corner dropkick follows for 2. Impact hits strikes and a back breaker for 2. He lays in more rights, and then works over Sydal in the corner. The leg lariat and knee strike follows for 2. Sydal hits a knee strike, but Impact cuts him off with a sliding German. Impact argues with Page and Sydal cradles him for 2. Impact cuts him off, and Page pulls Sydal to the floor, countering starship pain. Impact then hits an over the post tope, wiping out Page. Sydal slams him to he barricade, back in and Sydal heads up top, gets cut off, but Sydal counters with meteora for 2. Impact counters chemical imbalance with moonlight drive and starship pain finishes it. Impact World Champion Johnny Impact defeated Matt Sydal @ 8:15 via pin [***] This was a good match with quality work, but was rather straight forward and contained absolutely no drama in regards to Sydal possibly winning.
– Killer Kross’ music plays and the loser makes his way to the ring. Kross talks about the voice of Sin City. He’s not here to rip off Impact’s head; he’s here to speak with him. He always thought he was here to make change, but Impact beat him fair and square last week. So maybe he’s not the catalyst for change, maybe Impact is. If Kross can’t make change, he can make sure it happens by Impact’s hands. He mockingly praises Impact as a role model with fighting spirit. Kross can respect that. Impact isn’t protected, and unlike other companies, there is no honor in that. Kross says Impact has no friends and everyone wants a piece of his ass, but not him. If Impact needs help, call him and he’ll be there. Impact says he knows Kross and won’t shake his hand. What he said may be true, but he doesn’t trust him and doesn’t want him anywhere near him. Impact turns down his offer.
– Jordynne Grace works out as Katarina appears and says they could be a great team. Katarina says she could have beat Grace, so Grace accepts a rematch in two weeks.
– Eddie attacks Moose and “nurses” arrive to take him to the Looney bin.
Su Yung vs. Heather Monroe: Yung attacks right away, puts Monroe in the tree of WHOA and follows with kicks. The hanging neck breaker follows for 2. Yung gets her glove, but Monroe fires back with chops and strikes. The head kick and forearm follows, she hits knee strikes and Monroe covers for 2. Yung cuts her off, panic switch connects and finishes her with the mandible claw. Su Yung defeated Heather Monroe @ 2:35 via submission [NR] It was an ok squash.
– Post match, Kiera Hogan makes the save but the newly EVIL Allie arrives in all black and partial, Rosemary like face paint. Yung attacks Hogan, hits panic switch and Allie just watches on and leaves with Yung.
.@AllieImpact is here but she looks changed. Has The Undead Bride's influence taken complete control? pic.twitter.com/eZNGBQ9sD4
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) November 16, 2018
– We get another Aro Lucha commercial. Coming to POP in 2019?
X-Division Title Match: Champion Cage vs. Sami Callihan: Sami & Dave are out with Sami. They brawl at the bell with Cage controlling with ease. Sami fights back, and they trade RANAs, and Cage follows with a dropkick. Sami fights of the powerbomb, but Cage fires back with a flurry of kicks until Dave distracts him and Sami dumps Cage. The ref now sends oVe to the back. Sami to the floor, gets caught and Cage hits a suplex on the floor. Post nearly 5-minute commercial break, and Sami is in control after an apron piledriver. Cage battles back with strikes, and an enziguri but Sami attacks the knee, but Cage cuts him off with an Alabama slam. Sami counters a powerbomb with a hanging guillotine, and follows with a running DVD to the buckles and covers for 2. Cage counters the Cactus driver, but Sami gets an ankle lock. Cage escapes and hits a pump handle slam. The superplex follows, and hits F5 for 2. Sami now kicks Cage in the face repeatedly, and just lays in repeated kicks and the Cactus driver for 2. Sami back to the ankle lock, but Cage makes the ropes. Sami now hits code red, but Cage follows with a powerbomb and drill claw for the win. Champion Cage defeated Sami Callihan @ 13:15 via pin [**¾] Unfortunately, this came off as a completely disappointing main event, with a crowd that wasn’t invested at all. They went to all of the trouble of having Sami be the first man to beat Cage, and then gave it a quality build, and they blew it off in a match with no heat and no sense of urgency. At no point did Sami feel like he was close to winning, and the crowd knew it. Cage can be great and Sami has had several bangers for Impact in 2018, but that Sami wasn’t here tonight. It was far from bad, but it was the second week in a row with a disappointing main event.
– Cage announces he’s cashing in his X-Division title with option C to challenge for the world title at Homecoming.
– NEXT WEEK:
* Turkey Suit Bullshit
THERE WILL NOT BE LIVE COVERAGE NEXT WEEK ON THANKSGIVING NIGHT
– End scene.
– Thanks for reading.
“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”
