Csonka’s Impact Wrestling United We Stand Review

Csonka’s Impact Wrestling United We Stand Review

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Ultimate X: Johnny Impact wins @ 12:25 [***]
– Lucha Underground defeated Impact @ 10:30 via pin [**½]
– Knockouts Title Match: Champion Taya defeated Rosemary, Jordynne Grace, & Katie Forbes @ 9:00 via pin [*½]
– LAX defeated Low Ki & Ricky Martinez @ 12:40 via pin [**¾]
– Tessa Blanchard defeated Joey Ryan @ 10:30 via pin [*]
– X-Division Title Match: Champion Rich Swann defeated Flamita @ 7:50 via pin [***]
– Monster’s Ball Match: Sami Callihan defeated Jimmy Havoc @ via pin [***]
– Tag Title Match: Champions The Lucha Bros defeated RVD & Sabu @ 8:05 via pin [**]

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Ultimate X: Jake Crist vs. Dante Fox vs. Pat Buck vs. Johnny Impact vs. Ace Austin: Kotto Brazil didn’t make the show and Ace Austin is replacing Jack Evans. They brawl to begin with Impact climbing early. Fox cuts him off, and takes out Buck. Austin climbs as Fox hits a missile dropkick. Austin takes out Fox and follows with a suicide dive. Jake hits a dive, and the Buck also hits one. Impact climbs, but Austin cuts him off with a powerbomb. Austin climbs and Buck cuts him off. Buck climbs, Fox stops him and Impact climbs. Jake cuts him off, as Fox climbs. Buck stops him and Impact is almost at the X, Fox stops him and Buck pulls Austin down. Impact climbs, but Jake hits the superplex to stop him. Buck climbs, but Jake pulls him down into a DVD. Austin and Jake climb, they get cut off and we get a tower of doom spot. Impact cuts off Austin, Jake superkicks him and then powerbomb Buck. The suicide DDT follows. Fox hits coast to coast, and follows with an imploding 450 to the floor. Austin climbs and hits a senton off the top of the structure onto the pile. The other four recover and climb, Austin pulls bodies down and eats a superkick. Jake climbs but Buck spears him off the cables. Fox takes out Impact, but Impact rebounds with a Spanish fly. Austin now climbs, but Jake cuts him off with a cutter. Impact climbs and wins. Johnny Impact wins @ 12:25 [***] Once they figured out the audio and camera work, things really got going and it ended up a good match. Impact earns an X-Division title shot with the win.

Impact vs. Lucha Underground: Cage, Moose, Edwards, & Tommy Dreamer vs. Drago, Daga, Marty the Moth, & Aerostar: Edwards and Aerostar begin. Aerostar hits a RANA and arm drags, and they work into a stalemate. Marty & Dreamer tag in. Marty attacks with strikes, Dreamer fires back and hits a clothesline. Drago tags in and they blow a head scissors spot. Daga tags in as does Cage. Daga hits a dropkick and RANA, and then Cage hits a head scissors and back breaker. Moose tags himself in, they argue and Daga attacks with kicks. The suicide dive follows, Drago and Aerostar work over Cage with double teams and Aerostar follows with a step up dive. Cage then superplexes Drago onto the pile on the floor. Dreamer dumps Daga and they all brawl on the floor. Back in and Edwards gets cut off by Aerostar. The cutter follows and Daga tags in. They isolate Edwards, with Daga and Aerostar working double teams for 2. Daga hits a running uppercut but Edwards cuts him off and tags in Cage. He runs wild on Daga, and kills him with a German for 2. It breaks down, Aerostar wipes out Dreamer, and Edwards hits a blue thunder bomb. They all fight as Moose chills until he spears Cage. Dreamer takes him out with the kendo, and Edwards follows with a suicide dive. Marty then hits the double underhook DDT to pin Dreamer. Lucha Underground defeated Impact @ 10:30 via pin [**½] This was solid, but sloppy.

Knockouts Title Match: Champion Taya vs. Rosemary vs. Jordynne Grace vs. Katie Forbes: They all attack Rosemary to begin. Taya dumps her and rolls up Grace for 2. Taya and Forbes attack her but Grace cuts them off. Taya dumps her and works over Forbes. The running ass attack follows and the charging knees follow. Rosemary sneaks back in and attacks. Rosemary tosses her around and Taya powders. Grace cuts off Rosemary, and posts her. The corner elbow follows, and the Vader bomb gets 2. The airplane spin into the Samoan drop follows. Forbes cuts her off, lays in kicks and covers for 2. Taya Germans Forbes, and she and Grace work into a double down. Rosemary works a tarantula on Grace, and Forbes picks up Taya but Grace hits her with a missile dropkick. It breaks down, they all brawl and Rosemary fights off Taya, hits the spear and Su Yung arrives. Rosemary attacks her and they brawl to the back. Grace then hits Grace driver for 2 as Taya makes the save and pins Forbes. Champion Taya defeated Rosemary, Jordynne Grace, & Katie Forbes @ 9:00 via pin [*½] This was slow, sloppy, and completely disjointed with a dead crowd. It was rather bad. Grace was the only one that looked good.

LAX vs. Low Ki & Ricky Martinez: Konnan is at ringside, but no Salina de la Renta. Ortiz and Martinez begin. They stall to start, and now Santana tags in. Ki tags in two-minutes in and nothing has happened. They finally lock up and work to the ropes. Lock up again and Santana makes the ropes and they break again. Santana now lays in chops, but Ki locks on a hanging arm bar. All four in now and now Ortiz and Martinez tag in. They work into back and forth, and Ortiz hits a northern lights for 2. He follows with back rakes, and LAX follows with double teams for 2. Santana follows with chops, but Ki blind tags in and cuts him off. Ki takes control, laying in head butts and strikes. Martinez tags in and grounds Santana. The skull fucker follows and the cover gets 2. Ki back in and follows with kicks and that gets 2. he follows with uppercuts, tags in Martinez and they continue to isolate Santana. Santana cuts off Martinez and tags in Ortiz. He runs wild on Martinez, and hits a missile dropkick on Ki. Martinez hits a pop up knee strike, and Ki gets tossed off the top by Santana. Ortiz hits the tower of London and Ki dives in to make the save. Ki & Martinez then hit a doomsday tidal crush kick for 2. Santana pulls Ki to the floor and posts him. Ortiz hits a DVD on Martinez for the win. LAX defeated Low Ki & Ricky Martinez @ 12:40 via pin [**¾] This was pretty good, but not up to the usual LAX standards. It was pretty lethargic at times and lacked a sense of urgency.

Tessa Blanchard vs. Joey Ryan: Ryan offers for Tessa to touch his dick, and she flips him off. They lock up and Tessa works the arm. Ryan counters and tries to make Tessa touch his dick again. She instead rips at his chest hair and unloads with strikes. The code breaker follows for 2. Ryan cuts her off by posting her, and Tessa is down on the floor. Ryan follows and slams her off the apron. Tessa fires back, but Ryan cuts her off and rolls her back in. Ryan hits a hammerlock slam, continuing to attack the arm. Tessa battles back with a RANA and then hits the suicide dive. Back in and Tessa heads up top, and the senton connects for 2. Ryan cuts her off with a pump handled suplex and spinebuster for 2. He locks on an arm bar, Tessa escapes and hits a tornado DDT and covers for 2. Ryan fights of the buzz saw DDT and hits the boobs plex. He makes her grabs his dick, flips her and covers for 2. Ryan gets a lollipop from his trunks, but Tessa backslides him for 2. He sticks it in her mouth and hits a superkick for 2. Ryan takes her up top, but Tessa fires back and Ryan follows her up. Tessa fights him off, hits the magnum and wins. Tessa Blanchard defeated Joey Ryan @ 10:30 via pin [*] This was bad with too much Joey Ryan bullshit and an embarrassing display from Impact considering how hard they push Tessa.

X-Division Title Match: Champion: Rich Swann vs. Flamita: They shake hands and here we go. They trade shoulder tackles, and work into counters. Swann follows with a dropkick and tope. Back in and Swann follows with kicks. He grounds the action, but Flamita makes the ropes. Swann follows with chops, but Flamita hits the superkick and missile dropkick. The tope follows. Back in and they trade kicks, and Flamita hits project Ciampa for 2.Swann fights off the second try, lays in strikes and covers for 2. Swann misses the Phoenix splash and Flamita hits the Spanish fly and tiger driver; the 450 gets 2. They trade strikes, Swann fires up and they trade chops. Swann hits lethal injection and that gets 2. Swann follows with a RANA and the Phoenix splash finishes it. Champion Rich Swann defeated Flamita @ 7:50 via pin [***] This was a good little match that felt like it could have been more with added time.

Monster’s Ball: Sami Callihan vs. Jimmy Havoc: Havoc attacks right away, dumps Sami and then attacks with a staple gun. He staples him in the balls, and they brawl at ringside. Sami uses the ring bell to attack, and then throws a chair at Havoc. He tosses in trashcans, chairs and Havoc is busted open already. Sami chokes him out with a chain, and then posts him. Sami misses a chop and hits the post. Sami tosses a trashcan at Havoc, but Havoc pokes him in the eyes. Sami then throws a chair at him, but Havoc gets the groin claw and they battle on the apron. Sami rakes the eyes, and hits an apron piledriver. Sami gets his bat, rolls Havoc in and grabs a stapler. They fight over it and Sami staples him. Sami then staples a paper to Havoc’s arms, and then his face. Havoc fires up, low blow by Sami and he gets a frying pan and lays into Havoc with it. Sami squeezes a lemon in Havoc’s face, puts a trashcan over his head and lays in chair shots. Havoc fights back and covers for 2. Havoc does the paper cut spots, takes off Sami’s boot and paper cuts him in between the toes. Havoc pours salt in the wounds, bites the foot and hits a DVD onto the trashcans for 2. We get LEGOS now. And Sami hits cactus driver onto them and that gets 1. Sami gets his bat, nails Havoc and sets up chairs. Cactus driver on the chairs and that’s that. Sami Callihan defeated Jimmy Havoc @ via pin [***] This was good, but not nearly as good, energetic, or violent as their UK match.

Tag Team Title Match: Champions The Lucha Bros vs. RVD & Sabu: They stall to begin. They finally start brawling 90-seconds in, and immediately work into a stalemate. The luchas dump them and they brawl to the floor. Sabu attacks Pentagon with a chair, and back in, he and RVD work over Fenix. They attack Pentagon and rolling thunder follows for 2. RVD follows with a monkey flip on Fenix, and double teams follow for 2. Pentagon attacks Sabu and then RVD. He lays in kicks, Fenix follows with more kicks and they double superkick Sabu. Double teams on RVD follow, and the cover gets 2. Sabu & RVD fight back, they get a table and slide it in. The luchas cut them off, set up the table, but RVD & Sabu battle back, lay them on the table and RVD & Sabu hit the double leg drops through the tables. The cover gets 2. RVD up top and eats a chair shot, and the double stomp/fear factor combo finishes Sabu. Champions The Lucha Bros defeated RVD & Sabu @ 8:05 via pin [**] This was ok at best with RVD & Sabu playing the hits in slow motion. Callis was embarrassing on commentary, trying to put them over as being as good as they were in the 90s while the luchas carried the load the best they could.

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

The 411 on Wrestling Podcast returns to the 411 Podcasting Network for episode 8. On the show, 411’s Larry Csonka is joined by Steven Jefferson Douglas Cook. The guys will discuss the possibility of Smackdown going to three hours, thoughts on Scarlett’s Debut & Allie’s Death on Impact, and then break down WrestleMania 35. The show is approximately 85 minutes long

* Intro
* Smackdown to Three Hours?: 5:35
* Impact Thoughts on Scarlett’s Debut & Allie’s Death: 17:15
* WrestleMania 35 Preview: 26:40

You can subscribe and listen to the 411 on Wrestling Podcast via the
above player on Transistor, or on the following platforms:

* iTunes
* Spotify
* Stitcher
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5.5

The final score: review Not So Good

The 411

Impact Wrestling United We Stand was a show with a ton of potential on paper, but ultimately failed to deliver. Production issues plagued the show, especially sound wise, as the crowd came off as mute most of the night, which hurt the energy and atmosphere. And that’s a shame, because according to those in attendance, the show was sold out and the crowd was hot. You have to properly produce your crowd sound. The wrestling felt lethargic and lackluster for the most part, which also didn’t help things.