wrestling / TV Reports
Jeremy’s Impact Wrestling Review 7.28.20
Loading...Hello, wrestling fans! It’s Tuesday, so guess what that means: more Impact Wrestling action! I’m Jeremy as always, and you all know how this works. Last week’s Impact saw a bit of a reset following the big influx of talent that came in at Slammiversary, as well as a pretty fantastic Tag Team Championship match. This week we’ve got an Impact World Championship Match, the Good Brothers’ first match in the company and much more. So enough of my nonsense; it’s get to it!
As a reminder, the GoFundMe for Larry’s daughters is still active and if you can make a donation, that would be awesome. Thank you so much to everyone who’s done so thus far.
* Previously on Impact: EC3 warns us he’s living in the moment, and attacks Moose before stalking off. Eddie Edwards addresses his World Title win and grants Trey a title shot for this week. And the Good Brothers get distracted by Ace Austin and Madman Fulton before RENO Scum attack and are beaten back before Fulton drives off. And finally, The North’s record-setting Impact World Tag Team Championship comes to an end at the hands of the Motor City Machine Guns.
WE OWN THE NIGHT! (AKA Title Sequence!)
Not for nothing, but I love how Susie’s spacey little wave thing is completely dissonent with the new theme song in the intro. That’s not a complaint, it works super well. It just tickles me.
Impact World Championship Match:
Trey Miguel vs. Eddie Edwards
Handshake to start it off, and they circle then lock up. Trey back into a corner, and Eddie backs off. Another lockup and Trey into the corner, pivots out but gets backed into another corner. They’re back in the center and heading to another corner. Trey manages to back his way up the corner and turns it into an armdrag, races in and we get some counter wrestling. Trey with another headlock takedown and he locks it in on the ground. Eddie gets back to his feet, shoots Trey off into a wheelbarrow Trey with a bulldog and then comes off the ropes and ends up on Edwards’ shoulder. Trey slides out, cartwheel headscissors and a kick for a very short pinfall attempt. Trey with a loose cobra clutch, Eddie gets back up and gets pushed into the ropes amid a wristlock. Eddie with strikes to take control after the rope break. Whip reversed by Try, Eddie slides under and hits an inverted atomic drop and belly to belly suplex. Knee to the back of Trey, elbow to the top of the head and he’s got Trey in the corner for a headbutt. Whip into the ropes, Trey spins out to the apron and hits a kick to the head but leaps in right into a spinning powerbomb! Two-count for Eddie. Eddie’s all “All right, all right!” and gets Trey against the turnbuckle, big chop and a light kick to the head. Whip across the right hard into the turnbuckle, pinfall gets two and two more do the same. Eddie picks Trey up, but Trey is fighting back until he eats a jab that stops him short. Edwards with a headbutt to the chest inb the corner, whip across the ring and Eddie charges in but Try dodges and slips out of the ring, around the turnbuckle for a leaping kick to the head. Sunset flip, Eddie rolls out, Trey with a combo ending with a neckbreaker for two. Frustration sets in and Trey pulls Eddie to the corner, climbs to the top split-legged moonsault but Eddie gets the knees up! Eddie slowly back to his feet, they charge and hit punches, then Eddie with a back elbow on the ropes. Eddie comes off the ropes with a back kick, they trade chops and Trey with a leaping cartwheel kick as we go to break!
We’re back and they’re trading strikes. Eddie is getting the best of it and they go wild with the punches, Eddie with a chop and then chops to the back but Try with a back-kick. He springboards off the bottom rope, Eddie catches him but Trey out and trips the champ into the bottom rope. Springboard low cutter hits this time for two. Trey feeling the frustration hard now, and he climbs to the top. He jumps, Eddie ducks and Trey does a couple flips to keep his footing, turns around and is shoved into the air and hits the ground hard. Eddie with a Tiger Driver attempt, reversed into a hurricanrana for a near-fall. Trey in control, he kicks Eddie repeatedly and comes off the ropes into a clotheseline. Tiger Driver hits this time but Trey kicks out! Eddie is shocked by that. Eddie exposes his knee, going for the Boston Tea Party but Trey with a high knee! That staggers Eddie but he comes off the ropes with a Boston Tea Party for three!
Winner: Eddie Edwards (10:52)
Rating: ** 3/4
Thoughts: Really solid match to kick off the show. Opening the show with this match put the last nail in any thoughts (which were misguided anyway) that the results would be different, but they gave Trey a lot of time to help solidify his upper midcard status. The match didn’t go all out but I don’t mind that at all. It was entertaining and set a good tone for the show
After the match, Eric Young comes out and smirks as Eddie yells at him to come down to the ring. EY teases doing so but shakes his finger and says he’ll do it in his own time. I don’t mind this, but they also JUST did it with Deonna Purrazzo in the lead-up to Slammiversary so it does seem a little paint by numbers.
* Josh Mathews and Madison Rayne break down the whole post-match angle and preview the card. Deonna Purrazzo takes on Kimber Lee, Katie Forbes reveals her new website photos, we get a medical update on Rich Swann via satellite interview, and the Good Brothers murder face off with RENO Scum.
* It’s time for the premiere of Wrestle House! This should be…a thing. I love the Totally ’90s graphics. Rosemary taunts Taya a bit, saying she thought they’d be the exact people she wanted at a house party and Taya says it’s not even her house. As such, she’s leaving. Rosemary’s eyes go evil black and Taya goes to exit, only to see an Abyss lookalike in a hellscape offering a bag. She returns as Johhnny Swinger says that the mark really is in purgatory, “doing the job.” Susie admonishes him for being bad, and Taya asks what that was all about. Rosemary says “Don’t ask us, it’s not our house.” Cody wants to know exactly where we are, and suddenly we get the most delightful Real World-type opening. I am GOD DAMNED HERE FOR THIS, Y’All.
Alisha is confused about them being on a reality show and Crazzy Steve mentions the “Stooge Room” where the confessionals happen. Cousin Jake thinks it’s Duck Dynasty, and Larry D sets him straight. They ask whose voice it is, and Tommy Dreamer shows up looking super snazzy and saying every reality show needs a host. He also says it’s his house. Acey asks if it’s the House of Hardcore, and Tommy says “No, stupid, it’s an investment property. I had to do something with those ECW checks before they bounced.” Paul E jokes never get old. Taya asks how long she has to be here and Rosemary says as long as it takes, staying at John E. and taking a bite of her apple as we go to break. Well, that was just a delight.
* It’s an Impact Plus commercial! Hey, did you know about Impact Plus? They’re gonna tell you all about it.
* Back from break, we get an ad for Talk’n Shop
* We’re back with MORE WRESTLE HOUSE! Seriously, we’ve had about four minutes of this and I already want it to be a full spin-off show. Thinks are already getting tense between the Deaners and XXXL and the bottles are becoming weapons when Susie shuts everyone up, saying arguments are bad and they should call a truce. Cousin Jake says “No Way, Jose” and Tommy says they didn’t sign him. Kylie is excited by the truce possibility and suggests an Air High Five, while Swinger suggests Fuji Bowing. XXXL bow, and Cody complies. Cousin Jake is hesitant but Susie says do it for her and he does. Taya then asks Rosemary why they’re here, and Rosemary lets Tommy answer. They’re handpicked for the chance to win $1 million, which everyone is obviously excited about except Rosemary who looks annoyed. She tells Tommy that’s not true while no one’s paying attention, and then loudly proclaims it to everyone accompanied by a needle scratch. Tommy says it is true and if anyone knows it would be him. He says there are six bedrooms and everyone realizes they need to claim a room right quick. Cousin Jake is besmitten over Susie. Larry claims a room over Acey and Johnny Swinger pushes through Kylie and Susie, who are trying to let each other claim it. He invites them to share it and they both walk off because they have brains. Steve walks in and Swinger invites him to join him. “They call me crazy, not desperate.” Everyone races for a room, Alisha says she’s taking the couch. Rosemary and Taya take rooms opposite each other and John E. looks uncomfortable. Jake and Cody play paper-rock-scissors for a bey, and Acey finds a ring outside, but gets beat to it by Steve. Acey says he saw it first, Steve says wrestling rules dictate that whoever does it first on TV gets to keep it. Dreamer calls for match time and suddenly Acey and Steve are in their gear. Everyone wanders out and Kylie’s gonna be the ref. Winner gets to sleep in the ring and I guess we have a match.
Winner Sleeps In the Ring:
Acey Romero vs. Crazzy Steve
Steve says they can share it, but Acey’s not down with that idea. Acey goes for the stomp and Steve ducks, says he can sleep on the turnbuckle. Acey charges and Steve flips out of the way, he’s still saying they can work it out but Acey manhandles him and throws him across the ring. Whip into the ropes, they’re at perpendicular paths but Steve catches on the ropes and Acey is still running his set and gets worn out. Steve says they’re both tired, they can share the ring. Romero agrees, they shake but Acey grabs Steve in a full nelson bomb and locks in a sleeper hold. Steve is out and Acey won as Taya yells she’s a horrible ref.
Winner: Acey Romero (1:38)
Rating: N/R
Thoughts: Look, did this sequence of segments go on for too long? Maybe, but I dug the hell out of it. It’s goofy, it’s jokey and full of meta-references, but it’s got the right tone and I was entertained this time around. It might become too much at some point and some people will HATE it, but it got off to a good start.
* Backstage, Fallah Baah and TJP are talking about doing something tonight when Rohit Raju shows up. Fallah asks where his mask is. He says he doesn’t have one so Baah hands one over. And TJP gives him another covering. Baah tells him to get six feet away, and then Rohit finally says they have a new X-Division champion in Chris Bey. TJP says they he doesn’t want to leave the tag division for that, and Rohit suggests he’s not X-Division material which sets TJP off. He gets TJP to admit he could be X-Division material again, and Rohit runs off to find Bey. Finding him in his dressing room, he says TJP is talking about coming after the title and TJP may have Baah, but Bey has him. Bey says he obviously has a target on his back, being who he is. And Rohit can be right there with him.
* Backstage and back from break, Gia is with Ace Austin and Madman Fulton. She asks about the problems with the Good Brothers, and Ace says his problem is with two new guys showing up and getting in his ring, then cheap shotting him. He says they wanted to get their attention and make an impression at their expense. The Good Brothers have their attention and tonight, they’re going to pay close attention to the Brothers’ match with RENO Scum.
* We get a vignette for the Motor City Machine Guns re-introducing the two to the Impact audience, with highlights from their time in TNA including Ultimate X matches, tag title runs, tandam offense and such. Nice move to bring the new tag champs back in front of people who may not have been around for the TNA era.
* The North are backstage looking depressed, and Josh tells Ethan Page to talk about it. Page gets emotional and Josh says that Page is at a loss for words at last. But he can’t blame them because they’re the best tag team in company history and are missing their tag team titles. And now everyone wants to celebrate the Machine Guns, but he wants them to know that they have a rematch clause. The North is not dead or done and it’s a matter of time before they get their titles back. Page rips off his glasses and looks like he’s about to say something, then just puts them back on and walks off.
* The Impact Plus! Flashback moment of the week takes us to Victory Road 2010 where the MCMGs beat Money Inc to win the TNA World Tag Team Championships amid a restart by Earl Hebner because of a double pin situation.
* Backstage, Katie Forbes is showing RVD her pics. She thinks they’ll break the internet, and when RVD isn’t sure about one she insists that the world wants to see her. Rob says that they’re going to blow some minds, and we go to break.
* We come back to an EC3 video when he talks about having the longest winning streak in TNA history and wins over Sting, Bully Ray, and Kurt Angle. Then he says, “Who cares?” The road that brought him here is one he has to go back down to destroy piece by piece and step by step. History is written by the winners, but what if the winners are pathological liars who promise everything and deliver nothing? And it’s not about brass rings or being buried, or not being used right. It’s about how everything he had to do to get here makes him sick. He sees failure in the mirror — not in wrestling, but in a personal manner because every step came at the expense of his soul. The things he had to do are the things he has to reevaluate and face head on. His past is his biggest foe, and he’s here for the destruction of his past. The past is just a story, and he has to destroy it to take back his power. He has to control his narrative. “You have been warned.”
* Gia Miller tries to interview Moose and he cuts her off to talk about his impressive title defense against Fallah Baah Panda Boy. He says he thinks it was 30 seconds and is the most dominant champion in Impact Wrestling history. He’s in a giving mood so is going to hand out another invitation for a title shot. When Gia asks about EC3’s attack, he asks why she would even bring it up. As for EC3, he says EC3 isn’t getting an invitation because he doesn’t feel like conquering the narrative yet. Heath shows up and says he got the invitation, and Moose says he’s not even contracted by Impact Wrestling. Heath says he is contracted by TNA and tries to use the TNA Championship Committee story, but Moose calls BS. Heath is shocked, because if there’s no championship committee, there’s no champion. Moose says he’s the hottest free agent, so he’ll get his invitation next week. Moose leaves, Scott D’Amore shows up and says his security is a little lax. D’Amore asks to see his TNA contract and says it’s “about as legitimate as if it was from Heyman and Heyman.” Man, the Paul E jokes this week. Who let the Good Brothers onto the writing team? Anyway, D’Amore says he likes Heath’s moxie and if Heath wins next week, he’s got a roster spot on Impact.
Non-Title Match:
Kimber Lee vs. Deonna Purrazzo
Kimber starts by charging in with a series of strikes and chops to the champ. Whip to the ropes reversed and Kimber with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors that sends Deonna to the outside. Lee chases her out, then slides back in after Purrazzo and hits a bicycle kick for two. Octopus-style full nelson hold on the ground, Deonna pushes Kimber back to the mat for a two-count and Lee locks in a body legscissors, then roles into a pin for two that Deaners rolls out of. She elbows onto Lee’s knees and breaks the hold, gets up and twists the wrist into a stomp on the arm. Deonna with a kick to Lee and picks her up, wristlock and she kicks Lee in the arm. Stomps in the corner by the champ, and she works the arm against the ropes for four. Snapmare and a ledrop to the elbow, kneedrop to the same and a pin attempt for two. Deonna gets Kimber up and Lee fights back with punches, whip to the turnbuckle reversed and Lee onto the top turnbuckle, catches a charging champ and submission hold against the ropes for four. Kick to Deonna’s leg and one to the head, step-up enzuigiri gets two. Kimber mocks Deonna, pulls her up but Deonna with a hard slap. They start to trade forearms and then chops, Lee takes control and goes for a roudnhouse but Deonna ducks, kick off the ropes and a side Russian legsweep into the armbar but Kimber rolls out and hits a German suplex for one and a half. Lee mounts the champ and lays in punches, gets up and goes to the first rope but Purrazzo up already and grabs the leg, leveraging her hard to the mat. She slams the arm and locks in the Fujiwara armbar, Lee taps!
Winner: Deonna Purrazzo (5:36)
Rating: ** 1/4
Thoughts: Decent match, I’d love to see these two get a bit more time. It put Deonna over strongly without burying Lee, and that’s something I can really appreciate. I’m not normally a huge fan of non-title matches if the champ’s going over anyway, but it worked here because Lee wasn’t exactly in the title conversation anyway.
After the match, Jordynne Grace’s music plans and Grace comes out with her arm in a sling. Grace looks pissed, and she comes down to the ring and steps inside. Deonna looks amused uyntil Grace pulls the sling off and attacks the champ! She batters Purrazzo and shoves her out of the ring, throwing her title after her. She’s still selling the arm injury but stands triumphant.
* Katie Forbes walks backstage and runs into Sami Callihan, accusing him of being a fan. He says he’s a former World Champion and she’s not buying it, saying he can visit her website. “I’m sure the link’s in her bio.”
* Back from break and we get another promo for Brian Myers, with voices telling him to patient and trust the process. He looks at the camera in his mask.
* MORE WRESTLE HOUSE! Somewhere, Jim Cornette is having an aneurysm. Steve walks along and runs into a shirtless Johnny Swinger saying that he’s probably going to have to sleep in the bathroom and pre-apologizing for his bladder control issue from Murdoch dropping a knee into his kidney. He gives him one last chance to bunk up. “Be my young boy, Daddy. Lots of benefits.”
Anyway, Steve considers it and gives a devious grin, saying it sounds like a great idea. Meanwhile, Cody’s drinking and trying to sleep on the floor while Jake snores loudly. Jake then says Cody woke him up with his snoring. They accuse each other of snoring, and the obvious lump on the other side of the bed is surely the reason. Cody clowns on Jake for being hot on Susie, and things get serious before Tommy is revealed to be the guy on the other side of the bed. “MATCH TIME!” But in the morning, because Tommy’s tired.
An animated rooster crows and now it’s morning.
Loser Leaves the Room:
Cousin Jake vs. Cody Deaner
Alisha is the ref this time. They argue over whose bedroom it was and who was snoring, which leads to shoves. Cody rotates the hat backward, but then bows for a truce. The other wrestlers make their opinions known, Jake bows RIGHT INTO A ROLL-UP THAT SNEAKY CODY! It’s a nearfall and an outraged Jake stands up into an eye poke. Smash into the turnbuckle, kicks, and ten elevated punches in the corner. Another punch staggers Jake but he reverses an Irish whip into the corner and mows Cody over. He picks up Cody’s hat, turns it around and smacks Cody down for a two-count. Rear chinlock and Alisha questions if he’s choking him. He demands that she ask Cody to admit he snored and he proclaims he doesn’t snore, gets up and hits a jawbreaker, then a series of punches. Deaner DDT turned into a sidewalk slam for three.
Winner: Cousin Jake (3:03)
Rating: * 1/2
Thoughts: Yeah, they’re comedy matches so the rating doesn’t matter so much here. It wasn’t as funny as it wanted to be, but it worked okay.
After the match, Alisha says she doesn’t know which Deaner Cousin Jake is. Jake pulls Cody up and they declare a truce, then hug. Jake gets the bed though. Afterward, Cody walks outside and sees a big fancy camper, saying, “That’ll do.”
* Back from break and Sami Callihan finds Ken Shamrock. He says it’s been a week and he wants his explanation. Shamrock says he can’t think right now and is out of here; he doesn’t know when he’ll be back. Katie and RVD are there and Katie says Sami is the guy that was creeping on him. RVD says he can look but has to keep his distance. Sami says he’s right; he’ll never even see him. Katie and Van Dam head off.
* RVD and Katie are coming down to the ring to show off her photos. RVD gets the mick and says “Ladies, gentlemen, and of course wrestling fans.” He gives the mic to Katie, who says she’s excited she can finally be herself again and that her bikini and booty shorts is covering too much. Normally you have to see her on her website but tonight it’s all free-99. Five seconds until her big launch: she counts down and the photos have Sami Callihan’s face superimposed over Katie’s with voiceover mocking her. Katie tries to look like she’s angry and it’s…just not working. But anyway, RVD tries to comfort her and she’s apparently losing her mind and not just having a vaguely irritated tiff, because Mathews & Rayne are telling us so.
* Up next: The Good Brothers vs. RENO Scum.
* The Impact Plus ad plays again.
* Madison and Josh break down next week’s Impact including:
Chris Bey and Rohit Raju vs. Fallah Baah and TJP
TNA World Title Match: Heath vs. Moose
Motor City Machine Guns Sitdown Interview
Impact World Title Match: Eddie Edwards vs. Opponent TBA
Josh and Madison speak with Rich Swann by satellite. Josh asks how he is, and Rich says he’s very disappointed after seven long months of being on the shelf, waiting to come back. He busted his ass to get where he needed to be, got the chance to challenge for the title and Eric Young went off the rails and took away his opportunity. Swann says EY may have changed his life as he knew it. Madison asks what the status of his return is, and Swann says the doctors are saying too much for him to stomach and he can’t get into it because it takes him to a dark place. But he’ll be at Impact next week to address everyone and give an update. He says he needs some time and asks to cut the interview.
RENO Scum vs. The Good Brothers
Just the intros before we head off to break with the two teams staring off.
Anderson and Thornstowe kick it off with a lockup. Anderson in the corner, and Thornstowe with a cheap shot. He lays in a punch and goes after Karl in the corner but Anderson fires back with a shot. Side headlock by Karl, he’s shot into the ropes and takes Adam down with a bodyblock. Thornstowe goes into the turnbuckle head-first and Anderson lays into him with a punch. Thornstowe fires back but gets shoved back into the corner and hit with a back elbow and punch. Anderson sends Thornstowe into the other corner and charges in, Thornstowe goes over Karl, comes off the ropes into a knockdown. Anderson with kicks to Adam and Gallows is tagged in. Doc with strikes in the corner, he picks Adam up and snapmares him down. A series of elbows and a pinfall gets two. Gallows gets Thornstowe in the hostile corner, body strike and he tags in Machine Gun. Whip into the ropes, Gallows doubles him over with a kick and knee strike by Karl gets two. As Anderson picks Thornstowe up, Ace Austin comes out and takes a seat on the ramp which lets Thornstowe tag in Luster. Assisted headbutt to Karl, and Luster drops Thornstowe onto Karl. Luster lays in fists to Karl and gets him up, shove into the corner and more assaulting. He yanks Karl up, slams him headfirst into Thornstowe’s boot and Adam tags in. He mocks Gallows a bit before picking Anderson up. Anderson fights back but gets stopped with a kick to the gut, Thornstowe slams him into Luster’s boot and hits a standing moonsault for two. Luster tagged in, Anderson gets double whipped back into the corner and then kicked in the gut, overhand shots take him down. Luster with a falling headbutt and Anderson tries to get to his partner, but Luster drags him over and tags in Adam. Anderson wrenches on the neck, into a side headlock. Anderson manages to get up, fights back but gets shoved back into a cheap knee to the kidneys from Luster. Thornstowe looking for an Impact DDT but Anderson counters and hits a big spinebuster! Anderson takes in Gallows, who levels Thornstowe and knocks Luster off the ropes. Charge into Thornstowe in the corner, he comes off the ropes with a massive boot. Big pump kick to Luster, Anderson tagged in, Magic Killer gets three!
Winner: The Good Brothers (6:30)
Rating: ** 1/2
Thoughts: Perfectly functional main event here, really just done to give the Brothers a first win and set up their feud with Ace Austin and Fulton. Nothing wrong with that, and it did its job.
After the match, Austin goes down to ithe ring and distracts the Good Brothers. Luster tries to jump them but gets pummelled and thrown over the ropes. As Gallows and Anderson yell at Austin, FULTON IS IN! He takes out Anderson and attacks Gallows. Austin and Fulton brawl with the Good Brothers at the ringside area and to the back, continuing things through the backstage area. Austin gets thrown into a big mess of boxes, but Fulton slams Gallows hard into a pull-up gate. Austin and Anderson are outside and Gallows slams Fulton through the door to follow. They’re fighting outside, Fulton takes a boot from Gallows that destroys the camer and we’re out!
