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SICKOS! It’s Wednesday, you know what that means! AEW Dynamite is live tonight, as the Philadelphia residency will come to an end this week before they take off for Toronto in lieu of All-Out the following weekend.

In case you didn’t realize it, you’ll be reminded that, during the TIMELESS Toni Storm and Skye Blue encounter, that it will be a Philadelphia Street Fight. Mercedes Mone will team with the returning Emi Sakura to face Riho and Alex WINDSAHHHHHHHHHH! Ricochet will face Shelton Benjamin, AEW World Champion Hangman Page will face Josh Alexander, and in a match added today, we will have a ten-man, $500,000 match, as the Trios Champions the Opps and the tag team champions Brodido will team-up to face The Death Riders and Young Bucks. Also, we’re getting Bryan Danielson as a full-time member of the commentary team, so that makes me wonder how this will work moving forward. All of this, and as you can expect, so much more!

So, tomorrow mark’s one year since I took over the weekly Dynamite recap/review duties, and to say that it has been a learning experience that has turned into a fun traverse would both be an understatement. I mean, hell, I’ve also managed to fill in all over the wrestling map, I wrote (albeit briefly) music reviews, and through all of that, I have done the keep up for Dynamite and for PPV previews. Sometimes, I have had help from my friends, other times, I got to sit alone with my thoughts and put them out there for everyone, whether right or wrong. One of my long-time objectives was to write for a website/publication, and I can safely say that this fits that bill perfectly. So, from the bottom of my blackened and calloused heart, I just want to thank everyone who has partaken in my work, whether you have clicked on my articles, posted a comment on them, helped me to fill out my Roundtable Previews (which will come back, I swear lol), and given them a vote/grade (no matter what it was) THANK YOU! I sincerely appreciate it, and it means a lot to me to be able to do this with such an awesome and amazing fan base behind me.

Oh, and one more thing, my AEW/ECW shirt arrived exactly TWO weeks before I am going to the Dynamite in “Pittsburgh”. In case you were wondering, here are two takes on that! I’ll let these stand in this week for my usual image in this spot lol.

For the last time tonight (at least for now) Dynamite is LIVE at the 2300 Arena in South Philadelphia! The Man Behind the Mask, Excalibur, The Human Suplex Machine, Taz, and the American Dragon and vestige of a goat, Bryan Danielson will call the action tonight!

Speaking of Danielson, he gets his introduction as we start the show. I’m guessing that they are going to make Tony Schiavone special assignments on Dynamite, and he’ll continue to be with Nigel on Collision.

Fresh off of nearly getting his neck broke last week in a chair, AEW World Champion Hangman Adam Page is here to kick off the show proper, much to the delight and excitement of our very own Arilyn!

AEW World Champion Hangman Page vs. Josh Alexander W/Don Callis and Rocky Romero

Well, this is pretty close to the home of the Flyers, so a hockey fight starting us off isn’t unexpected lol. Page gets the better of the fight and takes him to the corner with some chops. We see Callis stare at Bryan, but when he looks at him, he backs off lol. FUCK DON CALLIS chants, and we’re getting it started early! Page misses a big boot, allowing Alexander to grab the leg and try the ankle lock. Hangman pushes Josh to the apron, and Hanger hits the springboard clothesline. Page does, unfortunately, volunteer his face to the fist of Alexander. BALD chants, as Josh tries a brain buster on the apron, and he gets it after a second try. Alexander back in the ring, but he misses his patented crossbody and gets caught in the ropes. Arihara moonsault from Page, into a tombstone attempt, but Alexnader out and tries the ankle lock again. Page kicks Alexnader off and clotheslines him into the front row.

Page retrieves Alexander and returns him to the ring. An uppercut by Josh stuns Hangman, and Josh tries to gauge his eyes. Page fights back, but one elbow from Alexander cuts that off. Josh with cross-face blows in the ropes. Alexander stands up Page and chops him, but it seems to be making Hangman angry. Off the ropes, Page clotheslines Alexander to the floor. Crossbody block to the floor! Page to the very top, but Alexander gets back into the ring. Hangman loads up the Buckshot, but Alexander escapes out the other side of the ring. PIP Break!

Alexander has chops for Page in the corner as we return. As was the case before, this only fires up Hangman, but he walks right into a lariat from Alexander. Alexander with a whip, but Page fires out with a lariat. Another one. The Fall-Away Slam follows. Page picks up Alexander and hits the DVD for a two count. Page looking for Deadeye, but Alexander hangs on the ropes. Josh sends Page to the corner, but he eats a boot. Buckshot incoming, but Josh moves and hits a German. A second one. Josh looking for a third one, but both men end up on the apron, where Josh hits it. Alexander looks for Don’s approval and takes Page up the ramp. He tries a fourth one, but Page lands on his feet. Page counters Alexander, and he hits an overhead throw into the guard rail!

Both men crawl back to the ring and make it at the count of nine. Both men on their knees, and a forearm feast ensues. BTW, I’m just realizing that Lance Archer is at ring side as well, for what that’s worth. Both men to their feet, forearms continue, Alexander off the ropes, but Page catches him with a Liger Bomb for a two count. Page sets Alexander on the top rope and follows up. Alexander slows down Page, and he picks him up on his shoulders. Both men trade punches, before Alexander hits an avalanche DVD from the top for a two count. Alexander quickly locks on the ankle lock, but just as quick, Page gets the rope break. Page crawls out to the apron, here comes Josh, looking for the C4 Spike, but Page gets the last laugh with a Deadeye on the apron! AIRIHAR MOONSAULT FROM THE TOP! Callias has the ref, while Archer tries to attack Page. he kicks him away, here comes Rocky, but Page throws him onto Archer. Page intercepts Alexander knocks him back and hits the Buckshot Lariat for the win!
WINNER: Hangman Adam Page
TIME: 16:15
THOUGHTS: A really good match to open the show. It is pretty cool when the champion opens and asserts his dominance, and Alexander is always game.
RATING: ***1/2

Page has a mic post-match. He did not spill a gallon of blood to win this championship just for MJF to change the stipulations of his matches. He did not win this title, so all of his opponents needed to come at him with a dumbass like Don Callis. The most important word in All Elite Wrestling is wrestling, and that is what he is here to do. He is the men’s World Champion!

From another universe, it’s the Pinkstar, Kyle Fletcher! AHEM! That is a very nice sentiment, but while you hold that title, the Don Callis Family runs AEW. The Protostar runs AEW! At Collision, I threw out a proposal to you and I haven’t heard anything, so I am all ears, what do you have to say?

Page says if you are all ears, then hear this. You are lucky you aren’t life lighted out of here after what you did last week. But he understands it. He’s done it before, and you want to make a point. And if you want to speak to the world champion, then you get your ass in the ring and you do it.

Callis and Fletcher have some words, Fletcher pushes Don back, and gets into the ring. Kyle is here, what do you have to say to me?

Kyle, do you know what I see when I look at you? I see a man full of potential, yet he can’t put on his socks. But I do, I look at you, and I see someone who has everything that it takes to be successful in wrestling, you are built like a brick shit house. You can talk, you are fast, but he sees one thing above all of that. When I look at you, I see myself, six years ago, standing across the ring from Chris Jericho, hoping and dreaming to be champion. But after what you did last week, you are not ready.

Oh, here we go! I have heard it all my career! I’m full of potential! Kyle has heard it all his life, he is 26, and he hasn’t reached his prime. But that prime is now, and it will be as long as he damn well pleases. He is ready to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, and he is ready to be a world champion right now.

Well, Kyle, Hangman will level with you. If you want this, if you truly want this, if you want to be a main eventer, if you want to be someone who can carry this company for decades, then I will give you a shot at this title at All-Out. But, as much as you want this, there is something that we need from you. What I need for you to do is to do it yourself. I need you to earn it. I need you to face me at All-Out, and I need you to leave the DCF behind you, and damn it, I need you to find some socks! So, Kyle, what do you say? Hangman, Protostar, the world title at All-Out.

The funny thing is, Hangman, you think that makes a difference. You think I need anyone to beat you? You have my word at All-Out, it is man on man, but make no mistake, I am leaving with the AEW Men’s World Championship! I will not fail like you did six years; I will not fail like you did a thousand times over. You will say my full name, the AEW TNT Champion, and the NEW AEW World Champion, The Protostar, Kyle Fletcher!

Well, that was some real fire from these guys, and I LOVED it!

We see the main event of Collision, where MJF cost Mark Briscoe his match with Konosuke Takeshita. The cameras caught up with MJF after Collision. Mark Briscoe. You know how much I hate you? Last night was my wedding, and I left and made a beeline to my front door. My wife asks me, where is our honeymoon? I said, toots, we will not have one until I end Mark Briscoe. She said if you leave, we are done. MJF laughed, and he said he was married LONG before this moment. He was married to hate and evil. He doesn’t care what stupid situation Briscoe comes up with, because the response will be the same as it was on his wedding night: I DO! I DO! I DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

COMMERCIALS!

The Remarkable Renee Paquette had the Young Bucks earlier. Matt says if they win the money tonight, he won’t be eating this crappy food, and he will be door dashing steak. Nick says he will take his money to the casino and double it. They go to sit down with the Dark Order, but they tell them off. They see Brandon Cutler, and they sit down and try to kiss his ass. Brandon says shut up, Bucks, and leaves. Here is Jon Moxley. He says nothing has changed, you are still the best tag team in the world. 250 grand apiece, show up, and show out.

Our women’s tag team is next, and there is a LOT of titles between Mone and Sakura.

TBS Champion Mercedes Mone and Emi Sakura vs. Riho and Alex WINDSAHHHHHHHHH

Mone and Riho to start us off. Mone brawls Riho to her corner, and Emi tags in. They wail away on her, and Emi whips Riho across the ring by her hair. Standing power slam by Emi for a two count, as Riho bridges out. Riho trips up Emi and hits the Area Code Jones! Alex in the match with a Russian into a low lariat for a two count. Windsor takes Emi to her corner and takes in Riho. Mone in the match, but Alex sends Riho into Mone for a head scissors. Riho off the back of Windsor with a flying forearm to Mone. Riho with a single leg crab on Emi, but Mone pulls her out of the ring and to the floor. They look up and see Windsor coming in with a CANNONABLL! Flying crossbody by Riho takes out Emi and Mercedes! PIP Break!

🧐🧐🧐🧐 a monocle for every lady in this match!

Emi and Mone are back in control of Riho as we return. Mone has the most dreaded chin lock on but instead sends Riho into the corner face first. Meteora from Mone. The cover for a two count. Riho fights back with a tiaras, but Mone intercepts her tag. Riho knocks down Emi and rolls past Mone to tag in Alex. Windsor off the ropes with a lariat. Misdirection and a running shoulder tackle. Sharpshooter is kicked off by Mone, so she takes her to the ropes and tags in Riho. Alex holds Mone as Riho from the top with a double stomp! Dropkick by Riho with Mone in the ropes. The cover, two count. Emi gets the tag and hits an assisted senton splash! The cover, but Alex with the save. Mone in, and Alex takes her out of the ring. Riho sweeps Emi’s leg out. Mone is back to make the save. Riho with a single leg crab while Alex has the sharpshooter on Mone! Emi taps out!
WINNER: Alex Windsor and Riho
TIME: 9:45
THOUGHTS: Keeping Riho hot going into her TBS Title match at All-Out was the goal, and we achieved that in this match. It would have been a bit too much if she had tapped out Mone, but when Emi was announced as coming back, it was clear who was the fall girl in this match.
RATING: ***

Renee has Ricky and the GOA in the back. Next week, this all comes to a head in Toronto, but tonight…

Ricky says enough. He knows the Hurt Syndicate likes the numbers game, so how about a gentlemen’s agreement? The GOA will stay in the back, and you keep your thugs in the back. Ricky will embarrass Shelton tonight, and next week, when they defeat the Syndicate, they will have no other choice but to respect them. And that, uh, that’s a demand. AH-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

COMMERCIALS!

Renee narrates a video package for the FTR and C&C match, with music eerily similar to the TSN Hockey Night theme song lol.

Big Stoke says that video package is bullshit. The match will not be a dream match, it will be a fight, and a fight that the greatest tag team of all time will win. Every single week, he hears the same thing. Shut up, Stoley! You don’t get any hoes, Stokley! I look around this ring, and he sees extras from Rosanne, and nobody in this bitch getting any hoes. LOL! I think he meant arena and not ring, but fire there from Stoke.

Dax says this could have been a dream match. He gets mad and wants someone to fight him. He steps out of the ring and gets into the face of an obvious plant at ring side. Dax walks over to someone else, then goes up the ramp and gets in the face of another guy up the ramp. FTR drops the camera man and beat up a stagehand. That was certainly segment.

Renee has the Hurt Syndicate backstage. She says Ricky wants to leave everyone in the back for his match with Shelton. MVP starts to talk, but Benjamin says he has this. Ricochet, I will leave my guys in the back, you leave your guys in the back, and then I will put your goofy ass on your back. He leaves, because his match is next.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Ricochet

The bell rings, and Ricky opens with a running dropkick. He backs up and hits a second one and follows up with forearm shots. He kicks Shelton to the floor, and he takes flight and wipes out Benjamin. He fists bumps Taz at ring side; Ricky goes to the top and hits a springboard 450! Not only does Shelton kick out at two, but he throws Ricky across the ring! YOU FUCKED UP chants, as Shelton grabs Ricky by the throat and he throws him into the corner. He proceeds to throw Ricky into the corner so hard he bounces out of the ring and to the floor. Shelton to the outside, and he throws Ricky from the apron to the barricade and back. He returns Ricky to the ring and rolls back in. Ricky tries some strikes, but Shelton with a high crotch overhead suplex. Ricky screams like he dumped in his nappy of fear, as Shelton throws Ricky outside in front of the announce desk. Ricky uses his momentum against him and hits a drop toe hold into the table. Shelton stumbles away as Ricky goes back to the apron and hits a running missile dropkick. Ricky tells us he is the smarter man as we go to PIP break.

Ricky on top as we return. He jumps over top of Shelton, who stumbles, and Ricky hits a running knee strike for a two count. Ricky taunts Shelton, and Shelton is getting pissed off lol. WE BALD PEOPLE chants, double lol. Enziguri from Ricky, but his springboard attempt is caught, and Shelton with a release German. A second German! A third one! ONE MORE TIME, says the fans, so Shelton obliges. Running knee strike from Benjamin, Overhead throw for a two count. He tries again, but Ricky lands on his feet. Ricky with a series of kicks, but Shelton with a SUPERKICK, and both men hit the mat.

Both men to their feet, Shelton avoids the back elbow and hits a roundhouse kick in the ropes to Ricky! Shelton to the top, but Ricky is back. AVALANCHE SPANISH FLY! The cover, two count! THIS IS AWESOME chants, and the fans are on point. RICKY HAS THE SCISSORS! Shelton stops that and hits a huge lariat. Shelton has the scissors, he thinks about it, as the fans chant E-C-DUB! He breaks the scissors, much to the chagrin of the fans. Hey, the GOA are here! Talk about a gentlemen’s agreement lol. Toa Liona hits a headbutt to Shelton, and Ricky rolls him up for the pin.
WINNER: Ricochet
TIME: 11:10
THOUGHTS: The ending aside, this match was amazing, to the surprise of absolutely nobody, both guys are incredible wrestlers, and that was on full display here.
RATING: ***3/4

MVP is here with his cane post-match, as he brawls with Bishop Kaun. Lashley is here, and he brawls with Liona!

HOOK with a vignette. He’s sitting on what looks like a rooftop with a bonfire in front of him. He appreciates everything that Samoa Joe has done for him. He appreciates them always having his back, but they replaced him before the body was cold. But he understands it, he gets it, he was injured, so its next man up. He knows the Opps will have his back, but maybe it is time for HOOK to stand on his own. Or maybe not, as he takes his sunglasses off for dramatic effect.

O…Kay…then.

COMMERCIALS!

Tony Skeeeeeeeeevone has Don Callis and Kyle Fletcher in the back. NGL, guys, I was updating stuff for the boss, and all I really got was Kyle saying, trust me Don, I got this. They look like they want to fall in love with one another, and that’s that lol.

It’s time for a TIMELESS STREET FIGHT!

TIMELESS Toni Storm vs. Skye Blue

Storm, well, storms Blue as she makes her entrance and the bell rings. Storm takes away Skye’s kendo stick and tries to hit her against the ring post, but she misses. Back in the ring, Blue smacks Storm with it and tries to choke out Storm with it. Storm fights her off and smacks her with the stick. She has a storm sign, channels her inner New Jack, and smacks Skye with it, Blue hits Storm in the butt with a baking pan lol. Skye has a staple gun and staples Toni’s butt. Double LOL! SKYE STABPLES BOTH NIPPLE AND THE COOCHIE OF STORM! WOWWWWWWW LMAO! The cover, two count. It’s Storm’s turn, though, as she staples Skye in her coochie and her butt lol. Storm with the hip attack, sending Skye to the floor. Taz says to get Toni a beer, as we go to PIP Break.

🧐🧐

Storm and Skye fight on the barricade, trading forearms and punches, as we return. Strm throws Skye to the floor, but she’s back and hits a headbutt on Storm. Both women are sitting down now, as they trade forearms. Skye hits Storm in the head with a sign that looks like a sign, but it was actually a street sign. Doesn’t matter, as Storm sweeps out her leg, and Skye hits her face on the sign. Storm flips over a cover, and there is a table covered in mouse traps, and the bottom says, Toni Storm in I smell a rat. Storm eats a piece of cheese and gives one to Excalibur lol. Storm puts Skye’s finger in a mouse trap, and she screams in pain. Storm tries to powerbomb her through the table, but Skye reverses it and powerbombs Storm into the mouse trap covered table. Blue grabs a chair and wedges it into the corner, but that backfires when Toni throws her face-first into it. Toni takes the chair and proceeds to channel her inner Balls Mahoney/Axel Rotten as she hammers Skye with the chair. TONI HAS AN ELECTRIC FLY SWATTER AND SMACKS SKY’S ASS WITH IT! SHE’S HARDCORE chants, as Toni puts Skye on the top. Storm thinking superplex, but Skye escapes and hits a Cheeky Nandos! SKYE WITH THE POWERBOMB ON STORM INTO THE TRASH CAN! The cover, two count. Skye screams, looks for Code Blue, but Toni avoids it and smacks her in the face with a chair., Storm grabs that sign I mentioned earlier, puts it in front of Skye’s face, and hits a hip attack! Storm Zero on the chair, and Toni wins!
WINNER: TIMELESS Toni Storm
TIME: 11:40
THOUGHTS: A love letter to the original ECW days, and there is nothing wrong with that. Kudos to both women for going balls…ere, tits…out for this match and getting extremely crazy.
RATING: ***1/2

Post-match, the entire Triangle of Madness is here to attack Storm. Kris Statlander arrives, but she is overwhelmed. The fans chant for HAYTER, and That 70’s Hayter is here! She wallops Hart and smashes Thekla. She “accidently” hits Kris with a lariat, though, and the TOM is back in control. Thekla does the Toxic Spider dance, and hits a SPEAR to Storm! She picks up the title belt, looks at it, throws it on Storm, and does some…interesting…poses over Storm.

Renee has Willow Nightingale in the back. Renee says you have something you have been working on, and Willow says yes. She has lived her life by always smiling, but there is one woman who has caused her to want to punch her over, and over, and over. She wants to fight Marina Shafir.

Harley Cameron is here! She has a song for Willow, since she is such a lovely lady. Pick a chord, Willow says G, and Harley says C-Minus it is! She sings a song about forgiving Kris and drawing a cat mask on her face.

Willow says that is lovely, but she has been down this road before with Kris and doesn’t end well, and she implores Harley to watch her back. Willow walks away, and Harley and Renee harmonize WITH A CAT ON YOUR FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

The 10-mam main event is next.

COMMERCIALS!

We return, as Excalibur runs down what to expect this Saturday. Apparently, we’re getting three matches to qualify for a 3-way match for the Unified Title at All-Out. I got just a brief glance, but the qualifying matches are:
-Okada and Oku(!)
-Bowens and Takeshita
-And I didn’t catch the last one lol, sorry.

On today’s episode of whacky shenanigans, we see mugshot pictures of Nick and Matt Jackson as the OG Dynamite theme plays, and we find out their names are Nicholas Lee Massie and Matthew RonJon Massie. LMAO!

500K 10-man tag match: The Death Riders and the Young Bucks vs. The Opps and Brodido

Nick and Bandido to start us off, and we’re getting the FUCK YOU YUTA chants. That’s when you know you’re over lol. Nick with a slap and he walks the ropes and hits head scissors. Cassadore for a two count. Both men trade near-falls. Bandido counters, but Nick sits down as Matt tries to help. Oddly enough, Rick Knox DOES see that, and he kicks their arms away. King is in, and he makes a Senton Sandwich of both Bucks. Bandido wants to dance, but King doesn’t want to. King tries the stalling vertical suplex of Bandido, but Nick gets his knees up. Yuta gets the tag, but Bandido punches him away and tags in Joe. Bryan says everyone, including himself, wants to see Yuta get destroyed lol. Well then!

Joe locks on a knee bar, but Yuta gets to the ropes. Joe punches Yuta to his own corner and tags in Shibata. Shibata wants the corner drop kick, but Yuta fights that off. He tags in Claudio, who hammers Shibata with uppercuts. Claudio charges in, but Shibata kicks him in the face. Shibata with the stalling corner dropkick. Shibata with a sleeper to Claudio, but Moxley is in. Everyone is fighting in the ring, but the Jacksons are hesitant to come in. They come face-to-face with King and Hobbs, and they leave the ring LMAO! King instead hits a flying dive to both brothers on the floor! Bandido, King, and Hobbs bounce Claudio around like a pinball. King assists Bandido to the top rope and he wipes out everyone on the floor! Bandido to the apron and to the top, Frog Splash to Claudio for a two count! PIP Break!

The Bucks with the sliced bread and running knee to Bandido as we return. That gets them a two count. Their superkick attempt fails, and Bandido hits an arm drag on Nick and a CUTTER on Matt. Hobbs and Claudio in the match now. Moxley also is in, so Hobbs shoulders them both to the mat. MEAT chants, as Hobbs runs from corner to corner clobbering both members of the DR. He stacks them both up and hits a lariat. The straps are down, Marina tries to distract Hobbs, and Yuta has a chair. He hits Hobbs in the back with it, but Hobbs shrugs that off like a flea. Yuta looks like he just shits himself lol. The distraction does allow for Claudio to take down Hobbs, though, and King and the Bucks are in.

ARF! ARF! ARF! King smacks them both around and hits the CANNONABLL to Matt! The cover, two count. King places Matt on the top rope and hits a superplex! Moxley with a CUTTER to Bandido, who kind of stumbled into the ring. Everyone hit everyone time of the match. It ends with Bandido hitting both Bucks with a Rana. X-Knee to Nick, 21-Plex attempt to Matt, but Nick holds on to his brother. They hit heads, but Nick rolls up Bandido as Matt holds his feet and they steal it!
WINNER: The Young Bucks and the Death Riders
TIME: 13:20
THOUGHTS: Finally, something went right for Rod and Todd, ere I mean Nick and Matt! This was the same dynamic as pretty much all your usual multi-person matches, so if you’ve seen one of them before, you’ve seen a lot of them. Still, it was a fun jaunt that didn’t overstay its welcome, and the intrigue was added upon post-match.
RATING: ***1/4

The Bucks grab the bag of money on the announce desk and try to escape with it, but King and Bandido stop that. Money flies everywhere as they fight to the back. Meanwhile, the Death Riders ambush Shibata, then attack Hobbs in the ring. DARBY ALLIN IS HERE! He goes right for Moxley, as the other Opps members drag the other Death Riders out of the ring. Allin with a running back splash to Moxley. Allin keeps calling Moxley a bitch, but someone hits the ring in a hoodie and attacks Allin from behind! IT’S DANIEL GARCIA! ASSHOLE and YOU SOLD OUT chants. Marina puts a chair in the ring, as Garcia picks up Allin and curb stomps him to the mat. FUCK YOU DANNY chants, as Danny does another curb stomp, this time into the chair! Garcia stomps away on Allin and proceeds to pummel him with kicks and forearm strikes. Marina, of all people, implores Garcia to stop, and they leave the ring and head through the crowd.

And with that, we’re done!