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Well everyone it’s Friday and that means another episode of WWE Smackdown. We’re in the aftermath of Wrestlepalooza, which thankfully I never have to type out again. The event itself was mid, saved largely by Stephanie Vaquer and Iyo Sky continuing to be amazing wrestlers. Cody Rhodes retained the WWE title in the only Smackdown relevant match on that event, now he’s lining up for a champion vs. champion match with Seth Rollins for Crown Jewel. There’s also going to be a women’s champion vs. champion match for that card and tonight determines who faces Vaquer when Tiffany Stratton defends the WWE women’s title against Jade Cargill and Nia Jax. No one knows why Jax is here, they just can’t find anything for her to do so they just keep shoving her into the title picture for no reason. We’ve also got Kiana James and Giulia taking on Michin and B-Fab. Giulia and Vaquer went to two different brands when called up from NXT and you can see the writing disparity in what they’ve accomplished since then. Drew McIntyre will likely have a ton of beef with the ref from his match with Cody, but who that turns into a feud with remains a little open though he and Randy Orton still likely have unresolved issues. Solo Sikoa will probably get another video, because editing and multiple takes are his friend, but really that whole Bloodline B-team should probably go away. Speaking of though, Jacob Fatu used to be a big deal didn’t he? Boy they ruined that quick, we haven’t seen him in a while and that man desperately needs something new to do. Aleister Black and Damian Priest are still going at it, Sami Zayn will continue his open challenge and it seems like Shinsuke Nakamura might still be coming after him. The tag team scene has talent but no direction, Bo Dallas keeps trying to break up the Street Profits but we haven’t seen almost anything from the two Wyatts that hold the belts. The women’s tag team scene is bereft of anything now that Charlotte Flair and Alexa Bliss have beaten Chelsea Green and Alba Fyre. But with Crown Jewel coming up let’s see if there’s any momentum to be gained for the blue brand beyond the champion vs. champion stuff for that event.

Oh hey, new “Then, now, together” video on the intro.

We see several wrestlers arriving in Orlando, Florida. Michael Cole and Booker T are on commentary tonight, that’s a potentially odd pairing but we’ll see how it goes.

The predictable recap of the last major event follows.

After that we find Paul Heyman in the ring, he introduces himself then says he’s got a lot to say but only 2 hours. He asks Orlando what they want to talk about to mock Cody Rhodes, then asks if we want to talk about the world heavyweight champion Seth Rollins. Not much of a response. How about, Heyman is interrupted by “OTC” chants and he says he’d love to talk about the Tribal Chief but it’s disrespectful to speak of the injured. So how about the guy who will lead WWE into the 2030’s or 40’s in Bron Breakker. Nope, no real reaction. Well perhaps we should talk about the rumors and conspiracies around Brock Lesnar. Moderate reaction but before Heyman can continue here comes WWE champion Cody Rhodes. Cody gets a mic and brings up that he made a mistake calling Heyman a goon last week, they both know that isn’t what Cody thinks of him. He knows how much Heyman enjoys stirring things up, so Cody asks him about Brock. We get a still image of Heyman introducing Brock against John Cena as evidence, and Cody says he knows Brock and that face he’s making isn’t the face of a one night thing. So Cody wants to know if he’s talking to the oracle, the wise man, or the advocate. Heyman says he’s talking to the goat, and as the greatest of all time he respects Cody bringing up Brock because Cody’s smart enough to know that when Brock is here everyone is in danger. Bronson Reed and Bron Breakker show up through the crowd, while Brock isn’t here Cody is still in danger. Cody says it’s about time he and Bron met, he’s heard all about their potential and future. Heyman can predict Bron in the main event of WrestleMania but he tells Reed the same thing. Here’s some advice though, Cody grew up around people like Heyman and other bookers and you can always tell the why. Well except for Heyman, no one knows his why. Heyman isn’t going to be loyal to Bron. Cody removes his jacket and watch, and the fight is on. Eventually then numbers catch up to Cody but he does well for a while. Reed holds up Cody for a Spear but here’s Randy Orton to even things up. Randy stalks down and lays into Reed on the ramp. In the ring Randy lays into Bron then RKO’s Reed and Cody clotheslines Bron out of the ring. Randy picks up the WWE title and hands it to Cody after taking a look at it.

At gorilla the Street Profits talk with Cathy Kelley, they admit Clash in Paris took something out of them but they’re over it now. They’ve got each others backs, at the end of the day the goal remains the same. The Profits are up and want the smoke, then they head to the ring. That match will be up after this break with the winners getting a title shot.

Post break here come Miz and Carmelo Hayes.

Match #1 – Tag Team Match: Street Profits (Montez Ford and Angelo Dawkins) vs. Carmelo Hayes and Miz

Ford and Miz start, Miz with a quick School Boy then an O’Connor Roll with some Hayes assistance but can’t find a 3. Hayes tags in and chops away at Ford then he and Ford trade pin attempts but Ford lands a high elevation enziguri. Dawkins tags in and shoulders Hayes down then Miz gets a double Flapjack onto Miz. The heels powder and Dawkins runs at Miz but Hayes saves Miz with a dropkick to send us to break.

We come back to Ford and Miz working, Ford punches down Hayes but Miz then spikes him with a DDT for a 2 count. Hayes tags in and Ford takes some corner work from both men. Miz back in for a running boot, Hayes adds a leg drop to that but Miz still can’t find a pin. Enziguri from Ford staggers Miz but Miz tags out and Hayes cheap shots Dawkins. Some grounded strikes from Hayes then a chop to Ford in the heel corner. Ford fights out of the corner then misdirects Miz out of the ring, flips out of a back suplex from Hayes but Miz yanks Dawkins off the apron to prevent the tag. First 48 from Hayes then he heads up top, but Miz tags himself in and Hayes grabs his wrist stopping him from taking the glory. That allows Dawkins to tag in and Dawkins runs wild on Miz, corner splash from Dawkins and an enziguri. Ford tags in, and Miz eats The Anointment and From the Heavens and the Profits win as Hayes visibly could have broken up the pin but chose not to.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Street Profits won in 9:28

Rating: 2.5 stars
Thoughts: The character work from Hayes and Miz give this another half star or so. This was kind of paint by numbers other than that.

The Wyatt Sicks show up to stare at the Profits.

In the back Cathy talks with Jade Cargill about the main event tonight. Jade is sick and tired of her opponents and it will feel great to become WWE women’s champion. Stephanie Vaquer interrupts with her presence, big pop for her. Jade looks forward to beating Vaquer at Crown Jewel.

Giulia and Kiana James head to the ring for our next match, which will be up after this break.

Post break we find Michin and B-Fab heading to the ring.

Match #2 – Tag Team Match: Giulia and Kiana James vs. Michin and B-Fab

James and B-Fab start, B-Fab with some elbows but James then drops her with a clothesline. Dropkick from B-Fab then a low clothesline. Michin tags in and James takes some corner offense to no reaction. Giulia tags in and boots Michin in the face. Some hair tosses from Giulia but the crowd just does not care. Michin hits the ropes and lands a dropkick of her own then she slaps Giulia. Hurricanrana from Michin then B-Fab tags in and kicks Giulia for a 2 count. Michin back in but Giulia powders so B-Fab jumps into James on the floor then Giulia hits her. Giulia avoids a Michin baseball slide and tosses her over the announce desk. Michin cares not for selling and jumps off the table to land a dropkick on the floor and send us to break.

We come back to James and B-Fab working. Some corner work from James then she tags out. Giulia heads up top as James boots B-Fab then Giulia with a top rope dropkick for a 2 count. James back in and punches away at B-Fab. B-Fab with a slow motion escape from a fireman’s carry position then she cheap shots Giulia. Sort of a side kick from B-Fab to James and tags in Michin. Michin gets to run wild for a bit with kicks then a tornado DDT to James and Giulia breaks up the pin. Giulia and B-Fab square up, B-Fab lands a pump kick then James with a superkick to B-Fab. James and Michin trade strikes, headbutt from Michin then Eat Defeat but Giulia tags in and hits an Arrivederci knee then a Northern Lights Bomb to Michin to win.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Giulia and Kiana James won in 10:13

Rating: 2 stars
Thoughts: They had to work to get the crowd into this one, which is a shame as Giulia clearly has something more than the other three involved. Michin just can’t buy crowd investment and B-Fab is just kind of taking up space.

In the back Alexa Bliss and Charlotte Flair watch TV, in come Sol Ruca and Zaria to want a shot at the tag team titles. Charlotte says their are teams in line. Ruca and Zaria bicker a bit, then Bliss calms things down and says Ruca and Zaria don’t behave like a tag team and need to prove themselves as a team. That gets the other two to head out and Charlotte approves of Bliss being harsh like that.

To the ring and here comes Drew McIntyre. Drew’s wearing a walking boot on his right foot after kicking through the side of the announce table in the Cody match. We’ll hear from Drew after this break.

We come back to a hype video for Crown Jewel. I’m guessing no one cares, because this is even a more self indulgent masturbatory experience than most pro wrestling events. Apart from Cena vs. AJ Styles one last time there’s nothing on that card worth caring too much about.

Back to the ring where Drew has a mic. Drew says this is the same place he returned to WWE in 2017, he beat Randy Orton here in front of a bunch of screens for his second WWE title, and he should have been here as WWE champion in front of live fans tonight. But he’s not champion because of Cody Rhodes. He had Cody beat on Saturday, but Cody was one step ahead. He brings up the ref not counting a roll up on time, or the ref stopping him from Claymore kicking Cody through the announce table. The ref protected Cody and it cost Drew the title, and he asks if the refs work for WWE or Cody? He doesn’t blame the ref, but he blames Cody for sure as the power has corrupted Drew. Drew is interrupted by Nick Aldis, Aldis says he sees a bit of this from Drew’s point of view. But sometimes you’re the hammer and sometimes you’re the nail, and he knows Drew is better than this. He then says the boot didn’t come from WWE’s medical staff, and Drew says he doesn’t trust the WWE personnel anymore. Aldis dismisses the claims of corruption and says Drew can enjoy the rest of his night. Drew keeps ranting but here’s Jacob Fatu now to cut that off. Sadly not the same pope the Samoan Werewolf used to get but him working Drew is a good idea overall. Fatu heads to the ring and takes Drew’s mic, then tells Drew to shut up. He tells Drew to stop bitching, Drew comes out here and cries and complains, blaming everyone else for his problems. In fact why doesn’t Drew just sit his peg leg ass down. Drew takes the mic back and tells Fatu if he wants to try and punk him – Fatu cuts that off and says he must have forgot that Fatu is all gas no brakes. Drew with a headbutt to interrupt but headbutting Fatu is a mistake, he sells a bit then superkicks Drew down and yanks the boot off then runs over Drew with it to stand tall. OK, nice to see Fatu back and moving into a more substantial program.

In the back Tiffany Stratton stares down Stephanie Vaquer, Vaquer brings up Crown Jewel. Tiffany respects Vaquer but if they meet then Tiffany will come out on top.

Elsewhere Sami Zayn talks with Rey Fenix, Sami thanks Rey for the match a few weeks ago. Rey thanks him as well and we see Shinsuke Nakamura lurk in the background while Sami says it could be anyone answering his challenge tonight as they’re in Orlando so NXT is a possibility. Sami then heads to the ring for the open challenge match, that’ll be up after this break.

Post break Solo Sikoa does the video thing, this time talking about JC Mateo and putting over his history. Mateo tried to check Fatu and believes in Solo, anyone who gets out of line Mateo puts them in their place. Loyalty will be rewarded. Mateo says he loves Solo. Ugh, at least one more week of this and none of it will lead to anything.

Back to the ring and here comes the challenger. It’s Je’Von Evans from NXT.

Match #3 – US Title Match: (c) Sami Zayn vs. Je’Von Evans

24 minutes between matches. There’s an “NXT” chant briefly before they tie up. Sami with a side headlock then hits a shoulder block. More rope running but Evans runs into some arm drags, he takes them with his usual amplitude. Sami then helps Evans up to his feet. Another tie up, Sami with an arm wringer but Evans quickly escapes into one his own then they get to a corner and Evans lands a chop. Another tie up, Sami then starts chopping away at Evans in the corner. Evans slips around the ropes and lands a right hand then a huge elevation springboard crossbody. Rebound hurricanrana from Evans then a lovely standing dropkick. Sami powders then intercepts a dive with a clothesline and we head to break.

We come back to Sami laying in some chops on Evans. Evans misdirects Sami out of the ring then hits the ropes for a dive over the ropes onto Sami. Back in the ring Evans avoids a Blue Thunder Bomb and hits a corkscrew kick off the ropes for a 2 count. Evans puts Sami up top and climbs with him, Sami fights back though and chops him to the mat then perches up top only for Evans to jump up on top with him then hit a beautiful avalanche Frankensteiner for a near fall. Sami catches Evans with the Exploder suplex into the corner, then he lines up a Helluva Kick but Evans intercepts with a leaping attack. Evans up top but misses a double spring torneo splash, he avoids another Helluva Kick then jumps up for a very high amplitude OG Cutter for a near fall. Again Evans goes up top, Sami gets up so Evans bails on that but gets caught with a Helluva Kick followed by a Blue Thunder Bomb and that’ll do it.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Sami Zayn retained the title in 10:20

Rating: 3 stars
Thoughts: Nice showing for Evans, he got to show off what he can do and while Sami’s almost certainly not losing any of these matches he provided a nice spot here for an NXT guy here. This was probably even better for the live crowd.

Post match Sami raises the hand of Evans in respect before heading out.

In the back Nia Jax walks, she finds Chelsea Green and Alba Fyre who offer her a spot on the Secret Hervice. Jax just tears up the paper and walks off then finds Vaquer. Vaquer wishes her good luck, Jax says she could drop her right now but would rather wait for Crown Jewel. That sends us to break.

Damian Priest walks in the back as we come back, he finds Kit Wilson in a wheel chair ranting about toxic masculinity. Wilson stands and tells Priest that he’s toxic. Priest menaces him and Wilson prat falls over his own chair, then Priest tells him bitches be tripping. From behind Aleister Black tells Priest he’s here then drills him with Black Mass. Black says he and Priest might do this until only one man is standing, then wishes Priest a happy birthday. Well I wonder what kind of match that’s hinting at?

To the ring and here come the competitors for our main event. Up first is Jade Cargill, followed by Nia Jax, and the champion comes out last.

Match #4 – WWE Women’s Title Triple Threat Match: (c) Tiffany Stratton vs. Nia Jax vs. Jade Cargill

Jax attacks Tiffany at the bell then shoves over Jade. Tiffany gets scooped up and dropped onto Jade. Jade can’t knock Jax over but Jax can’t knock Jade over either. Tiffany over with a double dropkick and Jax rolls out of the ring while we head picture in picture.

Jade takes over on Tiffany for a bit then Jax grabs her from the apron but Tiffany yanks her down to the floor. Back in the ring Tiffany with some gymnastics then a dropkick to Jade, both Tiffany and Jade are wearing red gear and someone really should have had them coordinate better. Jax with a shoulder block to Tiffany. Jade with a scoop to Jax but can’t finish the slam. Tiffany gets Jax out of the ring then hits a running dropkick to Jade for a 2 count. Jade with a suplex to Tiffany but then Jax trips her up and pulls her out of the ring before shoving her loosely in the direction of the barricade, Jade helpfully gets all the way there anyway. Jax fakes getting a table, presumably for heat, then starts brawling with Jade in front of the announce table. We come back to broadcast as Tiffany hits a suicide dive, sort of, onto Jax. Jade then hits a Fall Away slam on the floor to Tiffany. Jax shoves Jade into the ring post then gets in the ring with Tiffany. Some slow motion corner avalanches from Jax before Jade kind of Pounces her down. Jade with a pump handle facebuster to Tiffany and Jax breaks up the pin. Jax with a headbutt to Jade then climbs up top, Jade and Tiffany attack her then Tiffany tries a few pins on Jade, she has to bail on one as Jax comes down with a leg drop onto Jade. Dropkick from Tiffany to Jax then she hits her with a Swanton Bomb, but pops up into a superkick from Jade which makes Tiffany fall onto Jax for a 2 count cover and send us to picture in picture again.

Tiffany and Jade trade some strikes then Jax hits a double clothesline. Jax tries to stack up Tiffany and Jade for a double Annihilator but misses and just falls to the mat, then Tiffany hits a low dropkick. Jade breaks up a Prettiest Moonsault Ever and puts Tiffany in a tree of woe then stomps on her. Jax disposes of Jade then runs into the cornered Tiffany. Again Jax gets up top, Jade attacks her and she and Tiffany jump up for a double superplex as we come back to broadcast. Jawbreaker from Tiffany to Jade then a Finlay Roll to set up a Prettiest Moonsault Ever but she only lands on Jax and Jade then breaks up the pin. Jade and Jax trade strikes again, the crowd is pretty evenly split between them then Tiffany hits a hurricanrana but her handspring back elbow is caught and Jade with Jaded but Jax pulls the ref out of the ring to save the match. Jade, pissed off now, boots Jax then takes apart the announce table. Jax rams Jade into the ring steps then takes apart the stairs. Jade is bleeding, Jax tries to suplex her onto the base of the steps but Jade fights her off, gets her up and hits a Samoan Drop onto the ring steps. OK, that cut on Jade is hard way, that’s a pretty bad cut based on the brief look we got. The ref has to relay info around to the wrestlers, Jade and Jax get in the ring and Jade hits an Eye of the Storm. Tiffany breaks up the pin but we’ve got chaos as Jax doesn’t kick but that was clearly the finish so Tiffany has to follow with a Prettiest Moonsault Ever to retain.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Tiffany Stratton retained the title in 13:54

Rating: 3 stars
Thoughts: This might have gotten higher but the ending was a total clown fiesta. From Jade’s cut to the botched finish it just took all the wind out of what should have been a pretty good finishing stretch.

Well that confirms Tiffany vs. Stephanie Vaquer. And speak of the Devil, here’s Vaquer to saunter to the ring and stare down with Tiffany. Vaquer should win that at Crown Jewel if we’re being honest. The visual of those two face to face ends the episode.