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Memphis Wrestling (9.10.1983) Review
Image Credit: Memphis Wrestling
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-Originally aired September 10, 1983.
-Your hosts are Lance Russell and Dave Brown.
ROCK & ROLL EXPRESS vs. PAT HUTCHINSON & MASKED MARAUDER
-Ricky takes Hutchinson down to the mat and rides him as a big “Go Ricky Go!” chant goes up in the studio. Pro wrestling is such an odd science. Ricky was already there, and he was already over, but give him pink tights and bandanas and for some reason he’s in the stratosphere.
-Marauder tags in and goes for a test of strength with Robert. Robert overpowers him and applies a wristlock, leading to a double-team with Ricky coming back in. They go to work on the Marauder’s leg. Backdrop on the Marauder, and Robert whips out one of my favorite old-school finishers, a stepover toehold, then leaning back and bridging with it for the pin. If you’ve never seen it, it might not sound like much, but it always looks painful as hell.
MOONDOGS (with Jimmy Hart) vs. JIM JAMISON & KEN RAPER
-Moondogs have theme music now, since that’s the in-thing these days. Spot beats down on Raper, and it still truly surprises me that “The fans remembered he was Larry Latham” wasn’t any kind of a problem for this promotion, he’s so clearly the same guy and it’s weird to see him suddenly being a drooling, bone-gnawing idiot for the same audience.
-Raper tags in. Powerslam by Latham, then a stomachbreaker. Rex tries to do something, but Raper can barely get in the air for it and just collapses, and he’s acting like he hurt his groin somehow. Moondogs seem to pick up on that and actually go for the pin right away after that to put him out of his misery.
-Terry Taylor and Bobby Eaton walk out with Giant Rebel, all bandaged up and looking pissed off. Giant Rebel says that Jimmy Hart did him wrong, and that was a mistake because Giant Rebel knows every dirty trick in the book, and he’s going to break Jimmy Hart’s neck and the Moondogs’ necks the next time he sees them.
-So that takes us to Monday night in the Mid-South Coliseum. Moondogs screw up and knock Rebel out with the bone, causing Rebel to lose their match. And since Jimmy Hart announced last week that the First Family is getting too big and losers are going to get kicked out, Jimmy fires Rebel on the spot and rips up his Confederate flag.
-Jimmy Hart is out here next with the Moondogs. He pulls out a photo from Rebel’s brief and awful tenure as Kimala II, and reminds us that he’s always been a big fat joke.
-We head back to the Mid-South Coliseum, with Jerry Lawler battling Superstar Bill Dundee as part of the tournament to fill the vacant Southern Heavyweight Title. Jimmy Hart distracts the referee while Dundee engages in top-rope-based chicanery. Referee gets bumped, so Jimmy throws a chain into the ring. INTERCEPTION, and Lawler knocks Dundee cold to win the match and advance in the tournament. But Jimmy, to his credit, is consistent. He fires Dundee and shoves him on his ass, and Dundee bounces right up and beats the hell out of Jimmy until the Assassins show up and bloody Dundee is bloodied.
-Back from commercial, Jimmy has asked Lance Russell to place a long-distance phone call, so this was when the Memphis territory was doing REALLY well. Lance actually places a legit phone call, on the air, and it turns out to be Jesse “The Body” Ventura, who’s agreed to come to Memphis to take on Jerry Lawler. He beat up Andy Kaufman, who’s his next challenge? Henny Youngman? This is kind of an interesting segment. My educated guess is that Jesse videotaped a promo and mailed it the way they usually did for Nick Bockwinkel and Ken Patera, and it got lost in the mail. So Jesse is cutting this promo live on the telephone while we see a color photo of him mounted on cardboard, plus a series of chyrons listing titles won and other noteworthy career achievements. The whole segment REALLY feels like they had a different thing planned. Anyway, Jesse hates traveling to a redneck town full of stump-jumpers, and he’s coming to Memphis just to take the Southern Heavyweight Title. Also, Jesse makes it a point to shit on Hulk Hogan during the promo, so that was pretty much a day-one thing for him.
JERRY “The King” LAWLER & KOKO B. WARE vs. BIG LOU WINSTON & THE PINK PANTHER
-Winston actually gets the better of Lawler with punches, then tags in Panther. Kinda curious to see how Pink Panther sells when he can’t say anything.
-Koko tags in and they throw a double dropkick on the Panther. Lawler’s misses completely but it’s still an interesting sight to even see Lawler throw a dropkick. Elbow by Koko gets the pin.
-Eddie Marlin is out here with a message from Bill Dundee, who couldn’t be here today. Dundee has mailed in an interview. Dundee was in a lot of danger in the Mid-South Coliseum and Jerry Lawler didn’t come to his aid, even with the fans chanting “We want Lawler.” Dundee gave it some thought and realized he wouldn’t have come out there either. He’s re-examined his life and realized a lot of things about the people he was doing business with. Dundee wants to go for the Assassins’ Tag Team Title, but it begins here–he apologizes to Lawler and asks him to be a partner for the effort.
-The thing does some soul searching, and Eddie nudges him in a way that’s a little funny for how HONEST it is. Eddie asks Lawler to do it just because the arenas were always full and everybody made great money whenever Lawler and Dundee teamed up. Jerry accepts the apology, but he reminds us that a few weeks ago, he accepted the same kind of apology from Andy Kaufman, and he got absolutely fucked over for that. Now MAYBE Dundee doesn’t have that in mind, but maybe Dundee should find a different partner for the time being. Marlin accepts that, but reminds Jerry again that he and Dundee as a tag team do good business.
-BRUISE BROTHERS (with Jimmy Hart) vs. ROBERT REED & DAVID JOHNSON
-Dream Machine hammers Robert Reed and monkey flips him while Jimmy Hart declares the jobbers to be graduates of the Jerry Lawler School of Wrestling and the Koko Ware School of Wrestling. No word on their credentials in the Terry Garvin School.
-Johnson gets hammered down by Pork Chop Cash, and a splash by Dream Machine finishes with ease.
-Last week, the Assassins defended the World Tag Team Titles against the Fabulous Ones, and the belts have now been held up. Jimmy Hart is back out here because he’s tired of hearing Giant Rebel and Bill Dundee both whining about how they used to be tag team partners with Jerry Lawler. Forget the past, man! The First Family is what’s going on today.
-We go to the Mid-South Coliseum, where everybody is color coordinated with yellow tights tonight. Referee is bumped and completely misses a three-count by Steve Keirn. A new referee comes in as Stan Lane is attacked and KOed by the other Assassin. So referee #2 counts an Assassin’s shoulders to the mat while referee #1 revives and counts Stan Lane’s shoulders to the mat. So both sides got pinned and Eddie Marlin is holding up the title.
-We go to the pool, where Stan and Steve are tanning and enjoying swimming, but they’re still pissed off. The titles have been held up, and there’s nothing they can do about it. They just have to go out there and win the gold again, like they already did.
-We go to Austin Idol. He’s gonna make it short and sweet–he wants Stan Hansen, threatening to “snort him up one nostril.” The 1980s have arrived.
EXPIRATION OF TIME: THE JAGUAR, TOM PRICHARD, BOBBY FULTON, BOBBY EATON, & TERRY TAYLOR vs. KING CARL FERGIE, PRINCE OF DARKNESS, BIG LOU WINSTON, & BRUISE BROTHERS (with Jimmy Hart)
-There’s some confusion at the start of the match because Dave Brown announces Koko for the face side instead of Terry Taylor, and Big Lou Winston is doing double-duty, so I’m thinking somebody missed the TV taping this week.
-FALL ONE: Faces tee off on Fergie until he gets out of there and tags in Pork Chop Cash. Cash throws punches with a taped fist. Faces rescue Bobby Fulton from the onslaught until Bobby Eaton just walks in, yanks Fulton’s arm, and walks him over to the corner so he can tag. Jaguar connects with a bee sting. Eaton tags back in and gets caught in the heel corner. PRINCE OF DARKNESS, the evil older brother of Burger King, tags in to finally give me a chance to see him in action, but he doesn’t do much. Fergie tags in and tries to show off with a rope walk, but he misses the elbow coming off. Also, he did the rope walk on the middle rope, which is like having training wheels for it.
-Fulton gets trapped in the heel corner and I guess Eaton decided “screw it, you’re on your own this time.” Fergie tosses him to the concrete and we end up with a brawl on the floor among eight guys. Eaton cradles Pork Chop Cash in the ring, but the referee misses it while he’s trying to restore order. The brawl spills from the floor back into the ring, and the persistent referee actually keeps trying instead of calling for the double-DQ and successfully restores order.
-Cash elbows Jaguar and applies an almost-crossface chicken wing. Prince of Darkness comes back in and goes for a rubber headbutt, but misses and we have a pier sixer and a donnybrook all rolled into one again. THIS time the referee gets fed up and calls for the bell.
-Brawl continues, and since the referee can’t restore order, Lance is just like “Well, screw it, let’s watch a Stan Hansen promo.” And it’s an odd one too, because it’s not a response to Austin Idol issuing a very direct challenge earlier. Stan himself is issuing a challenge to Jerry Lawler. And the Fabulous Ones. And then he just starts naming cities and states. It’s like one of those promos guys would cut in Jim Crockett Promotions when they would get booked in three feuds of varying importance at the same time.
