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Memphis Wrestling (9.17.1983) Review
Image Credit: Memphis Wrestling
Loading...-Originally aired September 17, 1983.
-Your hosts are Lance Russell & Dave Brown.
ROCK & ROLL EXPRESS vs. BRUISE BROTHERS
-Kind of a big match for a TV opener, so I have to think there’s an angle brewing here.
-We get a pier sixer right off the bat. Referee restores order after Pork Chop accidentally elbows his partner. Dream Machine recovers and clotheslines Ricky Morton, and we’re off and running with Ricky getting the crap kicked out of him while the studio audience goes nuts. Dream Machine drops the leg while the studio audience is workshopping cheerleading chants for the Express. This promotion really had something special going this year.
-Dream Machine press slams Rick but misses a second-rope legdrop. We get a pier sixer again and the Express looks like they’re going to finish with double sunset flips, but Jimmy Hart interferes for the DQ. We have a brawl after the bell and a few jobbers head in to try to restore order. Eddie Marlin DEMANDS that Jimmy Hart get his men out of there but Jimmy won’t comply.
-We cue up footage from the Mid-South Coliseum. The Moondogs and Dennis Condrey are battling Giant Rebel, Bobby Eaton, and Bill Dundee. It breaks down into a match-ending brawl. Eddie Marlin comes in to try to restore order but gets laid out by a Moondog bone in the chaos.
-Back in the studio, Eddie Marlin has had enough of Jimmy Hart’s men causing all this crap with post-match brawls, so to make a point, Eddie announces that the Moondogs are suspended for 30 days.
-Back to the Mid-South Coliseum, where Stan Hansen beats the holy hell out of Austin Idol, bloodying him with table shots before the bell even sounds to officially start their match. Idol hulks up but the referee gets bumped. The finish falls completely apart here. It’s clear that what was SUPPOSED to happen was Hansen was supposed to lariat Idol over the top rope (illegal in Memphis) and Idol was supposed to go all the way down to the concrete. Hansen doesn’t get the momentum he wanted, or Austin isn’t against the ropes just right, or he’s sandbagging or something, but Hansen hits the lariat and simply CAN’T get Austin to go over the top rope. So Austin just slumps to the mat and Hansen boots him out to the floor. Then Hansen revives the referee for the win. They’re trying to play up the idea that it’s a tainted victory, but because they blew the over-the-top-rope part, this is a 100% clean victory for Hansen.
-Back in the studio, Idol cleans up the mess by saying the tainted victory is more about the fact that Hansen attacked him before the bell, and he wants revenge.
AUSTIN IDOL vs. THE MARAUDER
-Idol is so damn mad that he just storms in there, mauls the Marauder, and finishes in seconds with the Las Vegas leglock.
-We take another trip to the Mid-South Coliseum. Jimmy Hart causes some distraction when the Fabulous Ones have a victory all locked up, and the Assassins take advantage with an illegal top rope move, and the Assassins capture the CWA World Tag Team Titles.
-Jimmy Hart is tired of the Fabulous Ones and he initially refused to offer them a rematch, but Eddie Marlin called him to say Stan Lane is willing to put his Corvette up for grabs, so Jimmy agreed to the rematch, AND he even pledges that he won’t even be at ringside. BUT, if the Assassins win, Jimmy warns that he doesn’t even want the Corvette. He’s going to smash it with a sledgehammer if the Assassins retain the belts.
-The Fabulous Ones bring the snark, saying that Jimmy doesn’t want the Corvette because the Assassins can’t even fit in the damn thing.
SUPERSTAR BILL DUNDEE & BOBBY EATON vs. PAT HUTCHINSON & THE PINK PANTHER
-For anyone who didn’t know this story, and it’s honestly one of the most endearing stories ever in wrestling, Bobby Eaton secretly married Bill’s daughter even after Bill had warned her that he didn’t want her getting mixed up with pro wrestlers. So when Bill’s daughter dropped the bomb that she married a wrestler behind his back, Bill demanded to know who, and she told him Bobby Eaton…at which point Bill immediately calmed down and said, “Well, goddamn it, at least you married the right one.”
-So the faces tee off on Hutchinson for a pit. Pink Panther, who looks like a real-life version of a character in an unlicensed wrestling video game, comes in and gets elbowed and stomped. Bodypress by Dundee gets the finish.
-Back to the Mid-South Coliseum, Jerry Lawler is defending the Southern Heavyweight Title against Jesse Ventura. Referee gets bumped and Jimmy Hart interferes and Jesse Ventura wins the Southern Heavyweight Title. Okay, STOP EVERYTHING. For starters, this territory is getting to the point where Jimmy Hart is Skandar Akbar, where a heel isn’t allowed to exist without having Jimmy around. And that’s extra annoying because they have another heel manager in the territory and they’ve done this alliance where the other heel manager is now somehow just an employee of Jimmy Hart! And Jimmy is an all-time great manager who deserves every accolade he gets for his contributions to the business but for god’s sake, it’s okay for someone to be evil without Jimmy. Also, keep in mind, these are all Mid-South Coliseum highlights from the same house show. We are up to three matches on one card where the referee got knocked around and Jimmy got involved for the finish.
-Lance has words with Jesse, who is beyond insulted that Lance calls his victory an upset. He’s wrestled in the AWA and the WWF! He’s a star, and Jerry Lawler is a redneck stump-jumper. He agrees to give Jerry a rematch, IF he agrees to no-disqualification, and IF Jerry agrees to put his crown on the line…his literal crown. He has to give Jesse his crowns and stop wearing them himself if he loses.
DENNIS CONDREY, PRINCE OF DARKNESS & LUCIFER (with Jimmy Hart & Jim Cornette) vs. ROBERT REED, KEN RAPER, & JIM JAMESON
-So apparently Prince of Darkness just made all the money in the world for this territory so we had to introduce a second guy with fundamentally the same look but a different name.
-Each jobber takes a turn getting squashed, and Condrey finishes things with a clothesline.
-Back to the Mid-South Coliseum. Dutch Mantel & Koko Ware are wrestling the Grapplers. Jimmy Hart distracts Koko while Dutch gets KOed with a loaded boot. Dutch demands a back-alley brawl for the rematch.
-Back in the studio, Jimmy Hart and Jim Cornette try to cut a promo running down “Ebony and Ivory,” but Koko Ware chases both of them off. Lance deadpans his reaction, saying he doesn’t advocate scuffling around the commentary area but he’s just glad to be rid of Jimmy Hart for a while. Yeah, you and me both, Lance.
-Back to the Mid-South Coliseum. Now it’s Big Red and Bill Dundee fighting the Assassins. Jimmy Hart distracts and the Assassins use a loaded mask to win. I would be absolutely insulted if I attended a house show like this one.
EXPIRATION OF TIME: BOBBY FULTON, TERRY TAYLOR, & KOKO WARE vs. THE TWILIGHT ZONE, BIG LOU WINSTON, & THE DESTROYER
-It’s kind of funny seeing Fulton wearing his Fantastic Ones tights while Terry just looks like he happened to be booked in this match. It’s like seeing two of your co-workers who definitely hooked up at one point and one of them doesn’t want to talk about it. “The Twilight Zone” is one of the Galaxians, and he’s in the weird Koko Ware/Sweet Brown Sugar situation from a while back where they seem to want a name change here but they aren’t committing to it.
-FALL ONE: Everybody takes turns doing their stuff. Fulton works the arm on Winston and Taylor helps him with a double-team move, which they do so well that it’s almost as if these guys were a tag team at some point in the past. Destroyer tags in and misses a corner charge. Missile dropkick by Koko gets the win.
