Pantoja’s NJPW Satsuma No Kuni Review 4.29.23

NJPW Wrestling Satsuma no Kuni

April 29^th, 2023 | Kagoshima Arena in Nagayoshi, Kagoshima

We’ve got two title matches lined up on a card otherwise filled with typical multi-man tags, so let’s see how this goes.

Bishamon vs. Boltin Oleg and Toru Yano

Oh this is totally a match for the former champs to gain some momentum before an eventual rematch. While that was the main point of booking this, the focus was on Young Lion Oleg. He handled the majority of the match and got a lot in despite being new and going up against a top team. He even took both out with a shoulder block to start this. That aspect gave this a little more juice than a typical opening tag. Of course, Bishamon was too much despite Oleg’s solid work throughout. He got bested with Shoto in 4:34 and that did just about everything it needed to in a short time. I dig it. [**½]

EVIL and Yujiro Takahashi vs. Oskar Leube and Shota Umino

Shota coming out in the baseball jersey and a hat gave me Naito vibes. So, my biggest concern with this match is that it’s clearly designed for EVIL and Yujiro to win. That could mean they end up in the tag title picture and Gedo is the just the man to do that and ruin a division that has been shockingly good in 2023 so far. The House of Torture jumped the faces because they always have to. That led them to isolate Leube but we got a mild tag to Umino, who cleaned house. Leube tagged back in and did alright until SHO distracted the referee because the HOT can’t even beat a Young Lion without cheating. Yujiro beat him with Pimp Juice in 4:35. Decidedly less enjoyable than the opener. [*¼]

Aaron Henare and Catch 22 vs. The Intergalactic Jet Setters and Tomoaki Honma

Honestly, it’s kind of weird to see Catch 22 without the titles. Their theme still slaps though. I would’ve had them lose the titles to YOH and Lio given the story built-in from Wrestle Kingdom. Anyway, this saw United Empire jump the faces before the bell because Gedo has no original ideas. The Jet Setters more than held their own but the faces got in trouble when Honma tagged in. He got isolated and beat down by quick offense from Catch 22 and the power of Henare. Things broke down late and the junior tags kept the pace quick and were the highlights. As expected, Honma got left alone with Henare and submitted to the Full Nelson after a headbutt exchange in 9:05. Solid little tag here but maybe let’s not throw headbutts in a meaningless match like this. [**¾]

The Great-O-Khan and Jeff Cobb vs. Kosei Fujita and Zack Sabre Jr.

These tags always make me laugh because you know who is eating the fall but there’s still fun to be had, especially with these four. I liked Fujita stepping right up to his bigger opponents. It’s the kind of brash move ZSJ would pull. They worked together to help chop Cobb and GOK down to size on a few occasions. ZSJ keeps having these really good interactions with Cobb and GOK and it makes me want singles matches for the TV Title. Actually, give everyone a shot at ZSJ and keep it under 15 minutes. Sounds like bliss. I actually bit on a Fujita pinning combination on O-Khan late which I didn’t expect to happen, so kudos there. Alas, O-Khan trapped him in the Sheep Killer and bested him in 11:23. I enjoyed that a lot and, go figure, it’s the same crop of people consistently delivering for this company. [***¼]

El Desperado, Minoru Suzuki, Ren Narita & Yuto Nakashima vs. Kazuchika Okada, Ryohei Oiwa, Togi Makabe & Tomohiro Ishii

Speaking of people delivering consistently for New Japan, it’s the six man champs and Ishii. The idea here is a consistent beef involving Ishii and champs (namely Desperado) but the more intriguing one is Okada and Narita going at it. As much as Desperado/Ishii will inevitably rule, Okada mixing it up with Narita sounds great, especially given Okada’s antics in NOAH this year. Like him going forehead to forehead with Narita before the bell is EXACTLY the kind of stuff I want from him. Rainmaker champ is the same old, same old, this shit rules. Nakashima was also a welcome addition here, going right at the veterans like he gave zero shits. They built he match to the Ishii/Desperado interaction, which delivered. There was also a pretty sweet Okada/Suzuki battle for a while. Narita picked up a pretty solid win by making a tough Nakashima tap to the Cobra Twist in 12:11. I don’t care, that was so my shit and I’m going to rate it accordingly. [***½]

Post-match, Ishii and Desperado went at it again while Narita talked smack to Okada. I love the idea that Okada is now the angry veteran who is pissed at all the cocky youngsters who were just like he was 10 or so years ago.

David Finlay, Gedo, KENTA and Taiji Ishimori vs. Hikuelo, Jado, Master Wato and Tama Tonga

I feel like New Japan has booked this match or some random variation of it since 2023 started (though you can swap Finlay for White early on). Due to that, I won’t spend too much time here because they kind of do the same thing every time out. Things were kind of even early, with Hikuelo getting stuff in on KENTA before Jado took the heat segment. From there, Tama got the hot tag and swung the momentum for his guys. We also got a dash of the Ishimori/Wato rivalry. I will say, that heat segment lasted a bit too long. In the end, Gedo fell to the Gun Stun at the 9:48 mark. We can move on. [**]

BUSHI, Hiromu Takahashi and Tetsuya Naito vs. DOUKI, SANADA and Yoshinobu Kanemaru

We continue the LIJ vs. Just 5 Guys feud that involves SANADA turning on his old stable. We also get a continuation of DOUKI/Naito and Hiromu/Kanemaru, as well as a preview of Hiromu/SANADA. Just 5 Guys did the pre-match attack because every match should apparently have that. Naito still managed to gain the upper hand but after being sent into the guardrail, things turned against him and he got isolated for a bit until a tornado DDT set him free. That gave us the Hiromu/SANADA matchup and it’s wild to consider how much better Hiromu is at basically every aspect of wrestling. This was solid as hell throughout and ended when SANADA made BUSHI submit to Skull End after 12:18. Just another quality multi-man tag on this show. [***]

IWGP Tag Team Championship: Aussie Open [c] vs. TMDK

This is where things can really step up here. TMDK never really fit WWE as they’re pretty no-nonsense guys who don’t show a ton of character/gimmick stuff but are very good in the ring, while Aussie Open is among the five best teams in the world right now. This started with a feeling out process as these aren’t teams who have faced off a ton in New Japan. The champs held serve early but when things spilled outside, TMDK got the chance to turn the tide. Following that, things really picked up with guys throwing bombs, trading forearms, and just having a hard hitting match. This division is at its best when it’s just teams beating the shit out of each other and that’s what this was. The spot where Nichols was too hurt to even stand for an Aussie Open tandem move was indicative of how this match went. Near the end, all four men just traded shots and neither side could barely stand by the end of it. The late close calls were well done and though New Japan likes to switch titles often, I never fully bought a change here. That said, they did a good job of building them and stuff like the piledriver by Davis gave the closing stretch a little something extra. Haste got flattened by a clothesline/forearm combo before falling to Corealis in 24:58. A hell of a match that was just a smidge under Bishamon’s matches with FTR, Aussie Open, and Tana/Okada. A great start to the year for these usually dreadful titles. [****]

Bishamon came out to issue their rematch challenge but the House of Torture interrupted and took them out before going after the champs until the United Empire made the save. On CUE, Gedo sent out the House of Torture to ruin what little goodwill he built up for the division he always books poorly. Man is consistent.

KOPW 2023: Shingo Takagi [c] vs. Taichi

The rules here were that you needed to score three different wins by pinfall, submission, ring out, or KO. I know I sound like a broken record at this point but the biggest problem with this New Japan match was again the length. It went an absurd 43:40 which makes me feel like Gedo has found my reviews and is personally trolling me now. This had no business being that long and you could technically tell the same story in about half the time. Shingo scored the first fall after an exchange of pin attempts and Taichi tied it with a backslide. I liked a lot of what they did with that because it called back to the parts of their rivalry from last year (or 2021, time makes no sense anymore). Taichi took the lead after hitting his finisher and Shingo couldn’t get up by the referee’s count. Shingo then got going and hit a flurry of moves capped by Pumping Bomber to tie things up. They were exhausted by that point but kept pushing through to try and gain that last point. Taichi had the upper hand and trapped Shingo in the Stretch Plum. The former World Champion would never submit but was clearly stuck and fading quickly. Hiromu nearly threw in the towel but instead opted to cheer his buddy on. It was to no avail though as Shingo passed out and Taichi became the new KOPW holder. Parts of that dragged because there was no need for it to go that long but they told a really good story in that time and had welcome callbacks. At 20-25 minutes, it’s a classic. At 40+ minutes, it’s just very good. [***½]

7.0

The final score: review Good

The 411

I liked this more than the 4/27 show thanks to a really good multi-man tag on the undercard, a strong but overly long main event, and the great Tag Title match. They also kept most of the stuff that didn’t really work to a shorter timeframe which was appreciated. This company keeps doing the two steps forward, one step back thing. Good tag division, throw in House of Torture. Different champions, still the same overly long main events, etc.