The Name on the Marquee: Clash of the Champions 4: Season’s Beatings! (12.7.1988)

-Originally aired December 7, 1988.

-LIVE! from Chattanooga, TN.

-Your hosts are Jim Ross and Bob Caudle.

U.S. TAG TEAM TITLE TOURNAMENT FINALS: EDDIE GILBERT & RON SIMMONS vs. FANTASTICS
-This was supposed to be the Sheepherders vs. The Fantastics after weeks of telegraphing it, and then the WWF snapped up the Sheepherders, so they’re just making it a face vs. face final because the tag team scene in the NWA has absolutely fallen to pieces in the past six months or so. Your first moment of “This damn company…” comes as they billboard the match. The first few Clashes had this great graphics package with beautiful close-up shots of every title belt, and each match would open with the competitors superimposed over them. So we open this match with graphics of the Fantastics and Gilbert & Simmons on top of a close-up of the Western States Heritage Title. I honestly wouldn’t put it past Dusty to book that a month ago while he still had the chance. Further weirdness: Jason Hervey of The Wonder Years is guest ring announcer, but he’s not acknowledged at all and Jim Ross talks over his entire introduction.

-Simmons shoulderblocks Bobby Fulton down and strikes a pose. Crowd is a perfect 50/50 for the teams here. Simmons presses Fulton and stops him from ducking out. Fulton asks for a test of strength, which seems crazy but it’s a ruse, as he uses Simmons’ body as a ladder and takes him down with the added leverage. Everyone tags and Tommy Rogers works Gilbert’s arm. Fulton heads back in and it seems that Gilbert & Simmons have taken it upon themselves to be heels, as both of them have done arrogant poses. Gilbert applies headscissors on Fulton as the ADD director keeps cutting to crowd shots. Tony Schiavone was asked about that on his podcast and said that the trend for every TV taping for years was “Director would do crowd shot after crowd shot until Jim Crockett actually went into the truck and yelled at him.” And then he’d stop, and then the cycle repeated at ever TV taping for ever after.

-Simmons applies a hammerlock and Fulton, having established that Simmons’ achilles heel is leverage, manages to fling him out to the floor from that position. Tommy Rogers tags back in and dropkicks Simmons down. Flying elbow misses and Simmons tackles him into the ropes. Some straight mat wrestling follows and tempers start to flair between Gilbert and Fulton. Simmons tags in and goes for another tackle, but Fulton ducks and Simmons appears to injure his arm crashing into the turnbukle, so the Fantastics have a target and they get cracking on it. Now the Fantastics are playing heel, targeting an injury while Fulton suckers Gilbert into walking away from his corner for a moment to prevent a tag.

-Simmons manages to tag and Gilbert gives Rogers a neckbreaker for two. Simmons heads back in and misses an elbowdrop, reinjuring the bad arm, and the Fantastics double-team him. Simmons manages to lift Rogers and ram him into the corner, and Gilbert gets two from a back suplex. Simmons goes for a corner charge and hits the post shoulder-first. Fulton goes to the top rope and tries to finish, but Simmons just powerslams the shit out of him for two. Everybody tags an Gilbert appears to have his own arm injury now, and Rogers looks reluctant to go in for the kill, but then decides he needs to win this and does a single leg trip to get Gilbert onto the mat for a hammerlock. Fulton tags in and stays on the arm. Five minute time limit warning as the audio team accidentally lets us hear Tony Schiavone and Jason Hervey pre-taping something.

-Rogers has a hammerlock clamped on as Jim Ross points out that a time limit in a tournament final doesn’t make sense and we’ll probably just go to sudden death if it comes to that. Rogers stays on the arm. Fulton charges at Gilbert and Gilbert gives him the hot shot with his last ounce of strength, but he’s too tired to go for the pin. They both get back to their feet and Gilbert charges, but Fulton gets out of the way, Gilbert crashes, and Fulton rolls him up for three, and the Fantastics are your new Western States Heritage Champions. 1 for 1. Killer opener with a good story, as the chance to win the titles brought out the worst in all four men and they turned to the dark side at one time or another..

-All of a sudden, here are Tony Schiavone & Lex Luger at a second commentary table.

-Jim Ross talks to Kevin Sullivan and Mike Rotunda. They trade “How stupid is he?” cracks about Kevin Sullivan and laugh off any prospect of Sullivan being locked in a cage during the TV Title match at Starrcade. I mean, he always escapes in that kind of gimmick match, ya know?

“Dr. Death” STEVE WILLIAMS vs. ITALIAN STALLION
-This is supposed to be Williams big coming out party as both a heel and his haircut’s coming out party as “finally not completely embarassing.” Stallion actually manages to send him out to the floor. Williams heads back in and takes the Stallion to the mat as Caudle says that wrestlers with college amateur backgrounds will be the new face of the NWA. Stallion actually manages to send Williams out to the floor. Back in, Stallion manages to get a two-count, then wrings the arm and applies scissors on it. Weird spot as Williams gets to his feet and makes the ropes, and they treat it as “Williams is cheating” instead of making Stallion break the hold. Teddy Long catches him in the act…the act of making the ropes…and kicks his arm off, allowing Stallion to roll him up again. Bodypress by Stallion gets two and Williams manages to press him out to the floor.

-Williams suplexes him back in for two as this match is just going an impossibly long time for someone they’re trying to relaunch. Sleeper by Williams, but the Stallion is impossible to kill and elbows free. An elbow drop misses and Williams tackles him, and you’d swear that’s setting up the stampede, but instead Williams dropkicks him for two, and then works his legs over. He sends Stallion to the concrete and then sends him back in. We are now 15 minutes deep into this as Dr. Death applies a front faceloc. Stallion rams him into the corner to break, but he’s running out of steam and Williams slams him down. Williams goes for a top rope splash and crashes, and Stallion gets, like, his seventh wind.

-Powerslam by Stallion gets two. Stallion goes for a bodypress, but Williams catches him and turns it into a stampede to FINALLY end this. 1 for 2. I have a GUESS about what they were trying to accomplish here, and it’s a stretch. In the “dissension in the Varsity Club” saga, one week, they had a Steiner/Stallion match where Steiner was just having a hell of a time trying to beat Stallion, and Mike & Kevin thought he was a screw-up. I think they may have been going for a story about how they were out of line because Stallion actually just happens to be hard to kill, and if they had a video with highlights of that previous match, and a pre-match promo where Kevin Sullivan made a lot of noise about showing what an upgrade Williams was for the group, they might have had something. But if it wasn’t that, then it’s just 15 minutes of Doc struggling against an opponent that nobody could buy as a threat, no matter how long this went.

-Night of 1000 Announcers continues as Magnum TA welcomes a newcomer to the NWA…the Junkyard Dog. The WWF had poached a bunch of stars from the company in the past few years of course, but Dave Meltzer pointed out in his review of the show what a catch-22 it was whenever the NWA tried to play the WWF’s game: if Junkyard Dog was still worth anything, the WWF would have held onto him. Dog’s eyes are popping out of his head as he explains that he got a call from Ivan Koloff asking for help at Starrcade, so he’s come to the “N-Double-A” for a bone to chew on. Dog’s energy in this promo is just ridiculous, as he’s clearly happy to be wrestling somewhere where he hasn’t been asked to fill a cup yet.

IVAN KOLOFF vs. PAUL JONES
-Graphics package for this one uses a picture of Ivan Koloff when he was still managed by Paul Jones, so it appears to be Ivan Koloff with Paul Jones vs. Paul Jones. Koloff has agreed to wrestle with one hand tied behind his back, and Teddy Long needs three do-overs for the knot to hold. And the funny thing is, Koloff wears a singlet! Just make him keep one arm under the strap.

-Koloff manages to take him down twice. Jones throws punches on Koloff’s unprotected side, but Koloff manages to win a fist fight with just one free hand. Koloff just smacks and boots Jones around. Koloff chokes Jones out. Jones gets a piece of the rope and chokes back. Jones sends Koloff to the floor, but back in, Koloff throws a flurry of punches, and Jones digs a weapon out of his tights for a cheap shot. Jones takes another swing, but Koloff knocks it out of his hand and uses it himself to knock Jones out and get the three-count. Russian Assassins run in and attack after the bell, but JYD shows up, chain in hand, and the Assassins get out of Dodge. 1 for 3. Booking for this was weird in two ways. First, logically, Jones should be hiding behind his men until Koloff gets wins over them and leaves Jones without a hiding place, but here, they used the manager match to build the match with the proteges. What’s Koloff fighting for now that he’s made his point? Second, JYD would have made a bigger splash if he hadn’t already been introduced and explained that he’s going to be Ivan’s tag team partner. Revealing him and his reason for being there just knocked the wind out of the match that followed and made it dreadfully predictable.

-Tony talks to Lex, who says that the situation between Dusty Rhodes and the Road Warriors is like a pair of campgrounds…TOO TENSE! He doesn’t say that, but if Lex had infused his promos with Rudy-style puns, they may have put the World Title on him sooner than they did.

SIX-MAN TAG TEAM TITLE: DUSTY RHODES vs. ANIMAL (with Paul Ellering)
-Both men are co-holders of the title right now; this match formally dissolves the team, and the winner gets to choose two partners. I am flabbergasted that they cared enough to do this. DQ rule is waved and the title can change hands that way, so there’s your finish.

-Dusty has his eye all bandaged up but still manages to bear up Animal and Paul Ellering. Big elbow misses, but Animal misses a corner charge, and Dusty drags him to the corner and whips his leg against the post repeatedly. Ref is already bumped, so Dusty’s not collecting overtime tonight. Dusty applies the figure four, but Ellering sneaks in and attacks to break the hold. Dusty starts going after Animal’s eye as Hawk runs in to attack. Sting shows up to even the sides, and Dusty brings a chair in that JR boldly calls a steel chair despite the plastic seat and back visibly wobbling as Dusty drives it into Animal’s leg. Bell sounds for the DQ because even Tommy Young is sick of watching this match, and Animal takes the 6-Man tag belts. 1 for 4.

MIDNIGHT EXPRESS (with Jim Cornette) vs. RIC FLAIR & BARRY WINDHAM (with JJ Dillon)
-This is your main event, with no stakes and no story behind it. Apparently somebody just decided that all four guys were on the roster and that they should have a tag team match while there’s a chance to videotape it, and really, who can argue with that? Hidden highlight of this match is the introduction by the unidentified ring announcer, who is clearly the biggest Ric Flair mark ever and damn near cuts a promo on his behalf.

-Flair starts with Bobby Eaton. Eaton knocks Flair on his ass and struts. Flair comes back with rapid chops, but Eaton backdrops him and whips him over the top rope and into a punch from Stan Lane. Flair makes a tag and enziguiris Flair on his way out of the ring, and Barry Windham has a great reaction to that, stepping into the ring and suddenly acting like he doesn’t want to. Windham misses an elbow and a kick sends Windham spinning over the top and onto the floor. Back in, Flair tags in and Not Necessarily The Horsemen try to double-team, but Eaton slams both men repeatedly and takes them down with double clotheslines. He gets confused about who the legal man is and tries to pin Windham while Flair uses the opening to slide out of the ring and get a breather.

-Midnights apply figure fours on both men and Cornette bolts over to JJ Dillon, waving his racquet and daring Dillon to try something. Referee gets order restored and Flair trades blows with both opponents. We suddenly cut to Paul E. Dangerously, who rages about Ted Turner’s orders not to let the Original Midnight Express into Chattanooga.

-Back to the ring Flair heads to the top, which goes the way it usually does. Flapjack by the Midnights nearly finishes off Flair, but Windham breaks the pin AND takes a cheap shot and now Eaton’s in trouble. Powerslam by Windham, and he holds Eaton in place so Flair can kneedrop him. Eaton is sprawled out on the mat and Flair just slaps him across the face because he has a chance to. Fight goes to the floor and Eaton eats barricade. Back in, Windham applies the sleeper, but Eaton is able to fling him off. Hot tag achieved and Lane cleans house. Double goozle sets up the Alabama Jam, but a fight breaks out between the managers, and JJ’s shoe meets Bobby Eaton’s head in the middle of it, and Windham gets the winning pin. SHIT! I had this hilarious joke all bottled up for a spot where Flair applied the figure four on Stan Lane because it would have been Flair “going to school” on the man with the educated feet, but then Flair never went to the figure four. Not cool, guys. 2 for 5. Excellent match though, but even 17 minutes deep, it ended at a moment where it felt like they were just getting started.

-Jim Cornette demands a rematch, RIGHT HERE IN CHATTANOOGA!!!

4.0

The final score: review Poor

The 411

Man, this event was a Shit Oreo. watch the opener, watch the closer, then move on with your life.