The Name on the Marquee: Madison Square Garden Presents the WWF (09.22.84)

-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Mean Gene Okerlund.

-Howard Finkel starts the show by announcing that Jesse “The Body” Ventura has been hospitalized in San Diego, CA (legitimate, and it actually led to his retirement). Finkel gives an address to send get-well cards, and the fans boo the hospital, which is rather funny. The good news is that Hulk Hogan has agreed to defend his title anyway against an alternate challenger, Big John Studd.

BRUTUS BEEFCAKE vs. SALVATORE BELLOMO
-It’s Brutus’ MSG debut. Beefcake powers Bellomo down to the mat to start, but a skeptical Gorilla notes that “It takes more than muscles to make a wrestler.” Don’t let the boss catch you having independent thoughts like that, Gorilla.

-Shoulderblock by Bellomo is no-sold, but he takes Beefcake down with a dropkick and an armdrag. Bellomo does his own strutting, which pisses off the Beefer. Standing wristlock by Bellomo; Beefcake outmuscles him and shoves him down again. Bellomo goes for a side headlock and takes him down; Beefcake is able to roll over to get a two-count. Gene Okerlund observes that Beefcake looks like he was poured into his tights. Cover your mouth, Gene, you’re drooling.

-Bellomo goes off the ropes and mule kicks Beefcake. Beefcake fires back with a headbutt that knocks Bellomo through the ropes. Back inside, he pummels Bellomo with forearms and a kneedrop. He chokes Bellomo and goes back to work with forearms, giving our commentators fits because they appear to be lined with metal. Backdrop by Beefcake, and then a kneedrop. Bodyslam and a series of headbutts to the kidney area to work the back, then Beefcake forgets about it and just throws punches and kneedrops to the chest. Hiptoss gets two. Bellomo starts to fight back with punches and a dropkick that Beefcake sells beautifully before falling out of the right. Back inside, he walks into more punches from Bellomo. He works the legs and throws punches and chops. Brutus counters a charge with a hard elbow. More forearms and punches from Beefcake. Bellomo tries a bodypress, but Beefcake catches him and makes it a powerslam to get the abrupt three-count (and actually, this referee gives him four, to make sure, I guess). 0 for 1. Actually had a few good moments, but overall, it was a punchy, forearmy squash.

CHIEF JAY STRONGBOW vs. NIKOLAI VOLKOFF
-Funny bit before the match as Gorilla says, “Let’s go to Howard Finkel.” Howard says & does nothing, prompting Gorilla to explain, “Well, Howard’s not looking at me, so we’re just going to sit here and look at Nikolai for a minute.” Volkoff sings the Soviet anthem. Every wrestling fan of this era knows what it sounds like, but the weird thing is that whatever song Nikolai is singing, it damn sure ain’t the Soviet anthem.

-Volkoff misses a forearm and Strongbow cuts loose with a flurry of chops and kicks. Volkoff attacks the stomach and punches Strongbow down in the corner. Strongbow kicks back and traps Volkoff in an arm wringer. Handful of hair by Volkoff to break it and he boots Strongbow down. He goes to work on the shoulder & neck with a nerve hold. Volkoff sarcastically yells “USA!” as he applies the pressure, so at the very least, he’s doing something. Strongbow elbows out and takes Volkoff down with a kneelift. Volkoff comes back with more punching; Strongbow keeps kicking him and clamps on a sleeper. Volkoff backs him into the ropes. Volkoff breaks it by backing into the corner and then dropping an elbow for the four-count. What a career arc for Chief Jay Strongbow. One day, you’re #2 only to the World Champion, the next day you’re jobbing to a freaking elbow. 0 for 2.

“Dr. D” DAVID SCHULTZ vs. SPECIAL DELIVERY JONES
-Just wanted to bring it to Gorilla’s attention that he opened the show by noting that every match on tonight’s card could be a main event anywhere in the world. I’m guessing for this match, he meant that in the “If Hulk Hogan, Roddy Piper, Andre the Giant, Jimmy Snuka, Sgt. Slaughter, Iron Sheik, Big John Studd, Don Muraco, Ken Patera, Tito Santana, Greg Valentine, and Tiger Chung Lee were in a plane crash the day before” sense.

-They trade holds to start. Jones applies a standing wristlock. Schultz escapes, only to be tied up in bodyscissors. Schultz rolls over, which outrages the commentators because it’s bad sportsmanship for some reason. Schultz goes to the floor and stalls. Back in, he wants a test of strength. Jones is game, but Schultz slaps him across the face before they actually get started. He does that a few times and Jones gets ready to throw punches, so Schultz hides in the corner until he backs away. Schultz applies a side headlock and Jones counters with headscissors. Jones taunts Schultz with his own slaps and Schultz manages to kick him away for two. Clothesline for another two. Nerve hold is applied and the commentators have to cover when the camera catches Jones having a rather pleasant chat while trapped in the hold.

-Headbutts by Jones to turn the tide for a two-count. More headbutts by Jones, but Schultz goes to the eyes and hits a really shitty dropkick for a two-count, then a pause, then a one-count, and the referee calls for the bell. Schultz wins, then clearly rips the referee a new one for whiffing on his count. 0 for 3. Another long squash in the Garden tonight.

GREG “The Hammer” VALENTINE vs. JOSE LUIS RIVERA
-Rivera attacks Valentine before the bell and knocks him out of the ring as Valentine is removing his robe. Valentine looks shocked, but re-enters the ring and turns things around with his own punches and forearms. Rivera reverses an Irish whip. He charges, Valentine looks ready to counter, and Rivera stops in mid-run. You never see anybody do that and it makes the action feel a little more real.

-Valentine manages to take advantage with a stomachbreaker and starts going to work on the leg before just tossing Rivera to the floor. Shoulderbreaker by Valentine back inside for two. Chicken wing by Valentine, and a hard forearm sends Rivera out to the floor. Valentine beats on him on the apron, refusing to let him back into the ring. Rivera fights back with a series of punches and a slam. Another slam by Rivera and he hurts himself on it because of all the damage that Valentine did to his arm. The guy taking the worst beating in this match is actually the referee; Gorilla & Gene have absolutely been riding his ass from the opening match, crossing the line into “just being mean” territory.

-Slugfest erupts, but Valentine wins that and drops Rivera with a double-underhook suplex. Elbows by Valentine, and the figure four (which the crowd pops for, surprisingly) finishes. 1 for 4. Match of the night, so far.

-We come back from commercial and find that we actually missed quite a bit during the break. Gorilla & Gene hastily explain that Valentine knocked the referee out of the ring and applied the figure four again, and the referee retaliated by reversing the decision, so your winner by disqualification is Jose Luis Rivera.

-We get words from the debuting Bobby Heenan, who brags about outsmarting every other manager in the WWF by signing Big John Studd. He promises that Studdamania will run wild. Fun fact, he was set to debut as manager of Jesse Ventura tonight, and when Jesse was hospitalized, they just transferred him to a new guy.

WORLD TITLE: HULK HOGAN (Champion) vs. BIG JOHN STUDD (with Bobby Heenan)
-Hogan actually manages to cut his chest while ripping off the shirt, and the camera actually zooms in on it so Gorilla & Gene can draw attention to that. Um, I wouldn’t have.

-Studd takes Hogan down with some clubbing blows right away. Hogan starts to mount a comeback and gets kneed down. He tries to ram Hogan into the turnbuckle, and Hogan reverses that, naturally. Series of punches by the Hulkster and he Irish whips Studd, following through with a HARD elbow to the chin, and Studd goes to the floor. Back in the ring, Hogan goes right back to work with punches and the big boot. Attempted slam is stopped with the help of the ropes. Hogan hurts his back on the attempt, too, so Studd goes to work on the back with stomping, and then his own bodyslam. He goes to the second rope and drops a forearm across the back. More stomping by Studd. Backbreaker gets two. Bearhug gets the crowd chanting “Hogan!” Hogan manages to keep his arm raised after two and breaks free. Studd shoulderblocks him right down. Back to the bearhug, and Hogan is able to break it, reverse it, lift Studd in the bearhug, and ram him into the corner. Forearm to the back by Studd and Hogan goes out to the floor. Studd keeps kicking Hogan down to keep him out of the ring, and it’s enough to draw blood from Hogan. Hogan starts to Hulk up on the floor and comes back into the ring with punches from every direction to take Studd off his feet. Another slam attempt is blocked by the ropes, and Hogan simply plants him on the apron and knocks him onto the floor. Hogan tries to slam him on the floor and Studd blocks it. They brawl on the floor and Heenan manages to shove Studd into the ring before the referee gets to 10, and Studd takes the match by count-out. Studd & Heenan leave with the belt. 2 for 5. Probably the best match between these two that you’ll see.

KEN PATERA vs. RICK MCGRAW
-Holy crap, when you’re hot, you can have four jobber matches on your undercard. McGraw is absolutely ‘roided out of his mind here, with 236 pounds packed onto a frame that looks like it couldn’t handle more than 140. The scary thing is he didn’t even look this big when he was on the card only one month ago. Patera, perhaps having horrifying visions of his own future, reluctantly removes his pants while the crowd whistles at him.

-Patera shoves McGraw into the corner. McGraw applies a side headlock and Patera lifts him and plants him in the ropes to force the break. Patera takes him down and gets caught in headscissors, so he backs off. McGraw goes right to a hammerlock from that and Patera makes the ropes. Single leg takedown by Patera and he makes it a toehold. McGraw makes himself upright after a lot of fighting and Patera just calmly kicks his leg down to take advantage again. Patera decides to stay with the leg and rams it against the post. He ties the leg around the middle rope and kicks at it to continue injuring it, then gets fed up and just punches McGraw out to the floor. McGraw makes the best of that, though, grabbing Patera’s leg and smashing it himself against the post. Back in the ring, McGraw cuts loose with forearms and fists. Series of stomps by McGraw and some choking just to make sure that Patera knows exactly how pissed he is. Clothesline by Patera stops McGraw his tracks. Patera rams McGraw shoulder-first into the post and applies the full nelson. McGraw passes out from the pain and Patera takes the match. 3 for 6. Short but pretty decent.

-Captain Lou Albano is being forced to wrestle in a six-man tag tonight on orders from the board of directors because he did such a crappy job as referee last month. He’s so confident in Adonis & Murdoch that he promises to just stay on the apron and act as an advisor to his team.

SGT. SLAUGHTER & WILD SAMOANS vs. ADRIAN ADONIS, DICK MURDOCH, & CAPTAIN LOU ALBANO
-Adonis starts with Afa. Adonis tries a full nelson right off the bat. Afa reverses it and Sika teases punching him, but just settles for taunting him before Afa lets him go. Kneelift by Adonis and an elbow to the head. Irish whip reversed by Afa, who follows with a backdrop. Murdoch comes in and gets backdropped himself. The champions get their asses kicked, and Albano, not liking the looks of it, goes back to the locker room.

-Back in the ring, Adonis tries a noggin knocker on the Samoans and that goes about like you’d expect. Both champions get headbutted down as Albano returns to the ring, only to be chased away by Slaughter. Sika gets caught in the wrong corner and Murdoch goes to work. Albano likes that and returns to the ring and tags in. He punches Sika with something concealed in his hand, but Sika gets riled up and Albano immediately tags out to Murdoch. Murdoch catches Sika with a kneelift, but attacks the head and again it backfires. Champions are heabutted together. Adonis goes soaring out of the ring and Murdoch goes to the corner to tag out, but Albano runs away from him. Adonis agrees to take one for the team and comes in. Bodyslam by Sika and in comes Slaughter with a kneedrop and another one. Slaughter knocks Murdoch off the apron and goes after Albano, but that allows Adonis to attack from behind and Slaughter winds up getting triple-teamed. Snapmare by Adonis and he drops the knee on Slaughter’s head for a two-count. Attacking the forehead is actually a spiffy bit of psychology for the fans watching at home because he’s wearing a bandage there.

-Goodnight Irene is broken by Sika, but that just allows the heels to triple up on Slaughter some more. Murdoch chokes Slaughter with his own straps while punching him. Slaughter reverses an Irish whip to attempt a comeback, but he runs right into an elbow. Murdoch Irish whips Slaughter into Adonis’ elbow. Adonis comes off the top rope with an elbow, but before the referee can make the count, Sika makes the save. Murdoch steps in without a tag and elbows Slaughter, then throws forearms at him. Slaughter begins fighting back and Murdoch quickly goes to the eyes. Slaughter manages to fall backward and tag in Sika. Champions are ready and double-team Sika. In comes Albano with a loaded punch. Afa makes the tag, but Murdoch stops Sika from leaving the ring. Sika gets choked out in the heel corner while Afa hammers at Murdoch. Sika gets free and a double headbutt takes down Murdoch. Murdoch goes to the eyes again and applies a front facelock. Afa steps in to break it, but Murdoch goes right back to work with a kneedrop. Adonis comes in and the champions put the boots to Afa. Adonis slams Afa and goes to the top rope. He connects with a missile dropkick and goes for the win, but Sika breaks the pin. Slam by Adonis and he goes back to the top rope for a splash. Afa moves and Adonis crashes.

-Afa goes for a front facelock on the mat but Adonis is able to tag from that position, so Murdoch puts the boots to him. Albano smells blood and does likewise while he can. Murdoch misses a clothesline and gets headbutted down. Slaughter tags in and Irish whips Murdoch into Adonis. Slaughter Cannon on Murdoch. He clotheslines Adonis hard enough to tangle him in the ropes, and Sika comes in to help lift Murdoch. Sika & Slaughter use Murdoch’s body as a battering ram and toss him into his tangled partner. Sika punches and headbutts Murdoch. Murdoch misses a punch and falls facefirst onto the mat. Falling headbutts by Sika to take advantage of the situation. He goes for the pin. Murdoch manages to kick out while Slaughter tackles Adonis into the ropes. Afa tries a falling headbutt of his own but misses. Adonis tags in, but three headbutts are enough to wipe him out. Sika headbutts him for good measure. Murdoch gets headbutted from every direction and falls into his own corner, basically tagging Albano by accident.

-Slaughter punches Albano and applies the Cobra Clutch. Adonis breaks it with an elbow from the second rope. Samoans attack Albano while Slaughter takes out Adonis. Albano goes to his corner for a tag, but both of his partners are out cold. He tags Murdoch anyway. Slaughter chases Albano back to the locker room while Sika hammers the piss out of Murdoch. Adonis finally recovers and attacks from behind. He lifts Sika for a slam while Murdoch goes to the top rope for a double-team move. Afa sneaks up and headbutts Adonis, causing him to fall over with Sika crashing on top. Slaughter runs back to the ring and Flair slams Murdoch. Samoans headbutt Adonis out of the ring while Slaughter scores the winning pinfall. 4 for 7. Holy shit, did anybody see this match listing and say, “Yes, this is going to be a classic”? No, you looked at it and expected a heat segment by the heels and then Albano getting caught, squashed, and pinned. That’s not what we got. We got action all over the place from five freakishly motivated guys who were feeling it tonight. Hell of a match and a totally forgotten classic from this year.

-Post-match, Murdoch takes a swing at Gorilla Monsoon. Monsoon is game, though, so Murdoch backs off and heads back to the locker room.

B. BRIAN BLAIR vs. IRON MIKE SHARPE
-Sharpe yells at Howard Finkel for not introducing him right, and Finkel sounds like he’s having trouble keeping it together as he finishes his announcements. A group of fans hold up a “WIMP” sign and Sharpe hops the barricade to go after them. Blair chases Sharpe around and out of the ring. Sharpe takes a swing at a fan before going back in. Sharpe teases stalling again, but instead grabs Blair from outside and throws him into the broadcast table. Not content with that, he fires Blair into the barricade. He uses the controversial forearm brace to dish out some more punishment on the apron. Blair hangs onto Sharpe’s leg as he falls off and rams it against the side of the ring, and then into the post. Bodyslam by Blair back in the ring, but an elbow misses. Sharpe tries an elbow and that misses too. Blair tries an elbow that finally connects for two. Roll-up gets two. Snapmare by Blair, and a knee gets two. Arm wringer into a wristlock by Blair. He twists and snaps the arm over and over until Sharpe finally does the sensible thing and gouges the eyes.

-Sharpe rams Blair into the turnbuckle and chops him. Irish whip, but Blair counters the charge with a sunset flip for two. Arm wringer by Blair and we’re back to the wristlock. Sharpe gets to the ropes to break. Sharpe goes for a test of strength and tries to make it an arm wringer of his own, but Blair is ready and reverses it, then turns it into an armbar. Sharpe tries to force a release but Blair armdrags him and holds onto the arm to make it a hammerlock. Sharpe makes the ropes to force the break. He tries a side headlock, but Blair manages to roll him over for two. Blair kicks the legs to get Sharpe to let go of the side headlock, then dropkicks Sharpe. Series of armdrags and Sharpe hops the barricade and runs to the exit. Why was this guy not a bigger star? He had such an awesome character and the crowd absolutely hates him.

-Back in the ring, Blair catches him with a kneelift for two. He goes back to work on the arm. Sharpe backs him into the ropes and hammers him with the forearm brace. He sends Blair from turnbuckle to turnbuckle and backdrops him for two. Elbow gets two. Sharpe loses it and begins jawing with the referee, allowing Blair to recover. Blair tries a sunset flip and Sharpe ducks down and Blair hits the top rope throat-first. Body vice by Sharpe, but he’s too close to the ropes and Blair forces the break. Sharpe throws him through the ropes, then brings him back in for a knee. Boston crab by Sharpe. Blair gets out of it by doing a push-up, but Sharpe comes back immediately and drops Blair on the top rope, then hammers him across the sternum. Sharpe goes to the eyes, then chokes Blair out. Chops by Sharpe and he takes a breather to celebrate the awesomeness of the chops.

-Blair recovers and throws punches at Sharpe. Atomic drop by Blair, then he heads upstairs and hits a missile dropkick. He grinds Sharpe’s eyes on the top rope, then takes him down and “makes a wish” with Sharpe’s upper legs. He tosses Sharpe to the floor. Sharpe goes to the eyes, then loads his brace with something unspecified and clubs Blair with it. The referee tries to inspect the brace and Sharpe shoves him down, and that gets him disqualified. 5 for 8. Another awesome match where you wouldn’t expect to find one. Two of the underrated stars of the 80s put on a great match with good storytelling, as Blair just kept countering and recovering from everything that Sharpe threw at him until Sharpe finally ran out of ideas.

-Your next action-packed MSG card is coming on October 22. David Schultz vs. Salvatore Bellomo! SEE Tony Garea vs. Brutus Beefcake! SEE Rocky Johnson vs. Ken Patera! SEE Sika vs. Dick Murdoch and then Afa vs. Adrian Adonis! SEE Moondog Spot vs. David Bruno Sammartino! SEE Tito Santana vs. Greg Valentine with the gold on the line! SEE Sgt. Slaughter vs. Nikolai Volkoff! Not enough jobbers; I think I’ll save my money.

-Bobby Heenan comes to the ring to bitch about the WWF’s rules regarding count-outs in title matches. He whips out a contract for a rematch where the title CAN change on a count-out. Hogan arrives and signs the contract. Heenan says, “I knew you were dumb, but I didn’t think you were this dumb!” Before Hogan can respond, Heenan runs.

KAMALA (with Friday) vs. PAT PATTERSON
-Friday distracts Patterson and that gives Kamala an opportunity to attack from behind and lay into him with chop after chop after chop. He chokes Patterson in the corner until he can fight back with boots and punches. He goes to the eyes and tries for a slam, but that doesn’t work, of course. Kamala charges and Patterson artfully dodges him. Shoulderblocks are no-sold by Kamala and Patterson keeps doing stick & move tactics to survive the match. Uncharacteristic tactic by Kamala as he holds up a hand for a test of strength, which doesn’t make a lot of sense for his character. Patterson appears to take the bait but instead stomps on Kamala’s bare feet, and Kamala retreats to the turnbuckles to support himself. Kamala fights back with chops. He goes for a splash, but Patterson anticipates and rolls away. Kamala takes him down with a double-chop to the throat and THEN connects with the splash, and that gets the win. 6 for 9. Not a classic but yet another pleasant surprise, as Patterson had a clear strategy for this match, and that gave them a story to guide it.

-Gene Okerlund talks to Chief Jay Strongbow, who puts over Nikolai Volkoff for the impressive strength he showed in his confrontation. He also thinks that Hulk signed the contract without thinking and that perhaps he’ll regret it.

That’s the end of the show, and here’s Game Show Utopia.

The 411: A what-you-see-is-what-you-get show, although that six-man tag really will shock the hell out of you. I can't say enough about that, and if you're not interested in seeking out this show, I hope it turns up on WWE Classics or something. Of course, now I'm building it up TOO much...The point is, I recommend this show.
Final Score:  7.0   [ Good ]