The Name on the Marquee: WWF 3.15.86

-Originally aired March 15, 1986.

-Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Bruno Sammartino.

ADORABLE ADRIAN ADONIS (with Jimmy Hart) vs. TED GRIPLEY
-The jobber started out as Jeff Crippley and they’re just going to keep modifying it one letter at a time until they get it right. Fan throws a bra at Adonis as he walks to the ring and Vince says it’s too small for the “56DDDs” that Adonis has. Tremendous problem on commentary with Howard Finkel ducking in to tell us what facilities are showing Wrestlemania 2 on closed-circuit TV, and the cart he recorded the announcement on suddenly screws up halfway through and it sounds like Howard is on helium.

-Gripley actually manages a backdrop on Adonis and they trade fists, but Adonis drags him across the top rope to blind him. DDT finishes. Vince calls the move “the Graham cracker,” which means we should all take a moment to thank God that Jake Roberts is debuting on TV soon.

UPDATE
-Alfred hypes the Open Invitational Battle Royal at Wrestlemania 2 and announces the invitees who have signed to participate in the Chicago event. Refrigerator Perry, Big John Studd, Ed “Too Tall” Jones, Ted Arcidi, Jumbo Jim Covert, the Iron Sheik, Bill Fralic, Tony Atlas, Russ Francis, Bruno Sammartino, Harvey Martin, and Andre the Giant, with possibly more participants to come.

KILLER BEES vs. MR. X & BOB BRADLEY
-Blair trips up Bradley and rides him around the ring until he ties Bradley up and rolls him for a two-count. Brunzell blocks a tag to X and then double-headscissors his opponents. X gets atomic-dropped out to the floor and Blair victory-rolls Bradley for two. Awful finish sees Bradley being whipped into the ropes and running directly into an abdominal stretch, which just looks ridiculous. Blair rolls backward with it to make it a pinning combo for three.

-Wrestlemania 2…what the world is coming to.

-Gene Okerlund hypes Wrestlemania 2. The battle royal promotion is interesting. Gene says the battle royal will feature participants from “all walks of life,” but ultimately it was just wrestlers and football players. Wonder who said no. British Bulldogs step in and promise that they’re taking the belts.

UNCLE ELMER & GEORGE “The Animal” STEELE (with Captain Lou Albano & Cousin Luke) vs. JOE MIRTO & LES THORNTON
–Luke’s on crutches, and they give the credit to the Hart Foundation, saying that the Harts gave him a compound fracture “like the one Joe Theisman had.”

-Thornton manages to fire kicks until Elmer falls into the ropes, and the jobbers gang up on him until George gets fed up and comes in to even the sides. Elmer avalanches Mirto and George finishes him right away with the flying hammerlock.

-Gene talks to Hulk Hogan, who makes baby Jesus cry by saying that his match against Bundy will be his first steel cage title defense ever. He promises to hang onto the belt.

RANDY “Macho Man” SAVAGE (Intercontinental champion, with Elizabeth) vs. TONY STETSON
-Savage’s first appearance with the belt. He attacks Stetson from behind and finishes him with the flying elbow in less than 20 seconds, and still wearing his sunglasses.

-After the bell, George “The Animal” Steele shows up with a bouquet and Elizabeth apologetically refuses them. Savage sneaks up and hits the double axehandle on the floor, then drags Steele in the ring and ties him in the ropes. Savage paintbrushes him with the bouquet. Captain Lou dashes down to untie Steele, and the Animal lays a beating on Savage. Savage dives out of the ring, dumps Elizabeth over his shoulder, and sprints out.

PIPER’S PIT
-Piper walks in with two fans who say they want to meet Brutus Beefcake and Greg “The Hammer” Valentine. Piper brings them out and they have a pleasant meet-and-greet. Piper gives them a T-shirt and Cowboy Bob’s hat, and then the champs give the fans their belts so they can pose for photos with them. This is an awesome segment if you forget that these guys are supposed to be HEELS.

-The new WWF Magazine is on sale! The Animal is lovesick and Dick Clark loves meeting the Junkyard Dog.

WRESTLEMANIA 2 REPORT
-Jesse Ventura provides a briefing on a recent bi-coastal press conference. Roddy Piper says he’s going to make Mr. T wish he was back in Manila. Mr. T shows up wearing a kilt and wielding a rubber chicken dressed like Piper. Mr. T promises to eat plenty of cereal in preparation for the match. I just hope Mr. T remembers to eat that cereal off Mr. Breakfast’s face. It’s better that way.

-King Kong Bundy reminds us that he won in nine seconds at Wrestlemania last year, and he’s going to emerge victorious at Wrestlemania 2 and take the belt home. Hulk responds with a hilarious promo about seeing police officers crying as he left the arena on a stretcher at Saturday Night’s Main Event. He says every time he exercises, he feels rib separation and “ga-ga” caused by Bundy.

NIKOLAI VOLKOFF & IRON SHEIK (with Classy Freddy Blassie) vs. LEAPING LANNY POFFO & JIM POWERS
-Tremendous stupidity to start. Volkoff sings the anthem without interruption. Lanny recites a poem, and THEN Corporal Kirchner marches out with the American flag to disrupt the proceedings, so apparently, Kirchner hates poetry more than he hates communism.

-Nikolai attacks Lanny before he can get his jacket off. Lanny manages to tag out, but Powers gets a controversial boot in the eye from the Sheik. Camel clutch gets the submission.

-Gene Okerlund talks to Randy Savage, who says he will not be embarrassed by a freak of nature at Wrestlemania 2.

 

5.8

The final score: review Not So Good

The 411

The Savage/Steele angle was GREAT, the rest was a pretty blah week.