The Shimmy 06.29.09: The John Cena Report Card (Part Five)

And here we go, boys and girls. Sorry for skipping out on you all last week, but this week we finally finish up the (updated) John Cena Report Card. Huzzah! We’ve got his return from neck surgery for the end of 2008 and his 2009 matches. Some good…some not so much. Let’s see how things pan out, eh? Coo.

World Heavyweight Title Match: Chris Jericho© vs. John Cena (Survivor Series 2008)

Cena returned in his hometown of Boston to take on a man that had been on fire since turning heel earlier in the year (momentum that is still going strong). While Cena didn’t look quite like the great worldbeater he was in 2007, he managed to play up the moment, similar to what he and Randy Orton did during his last big “returning from injury” match. He and Jericho also have some pretty good chemistry together so things worked out relatively well. Cena winning the title his first match back was probably a bit surprising (I wonder if they had made that move if they had known then that Batista wouldn’t be around to face him at WrestleMania) but Cena is better as a champion or chasing the title than when he is away from the belt so it was probably a smart move.

My Grade: B

World Heavyweight Title Match: John Cena© vs. Chris Jericho (Armageddon 2008)

Not a whole lot was different here. After being back a few weeks Cena was crisper and after having the Survivor Series match under their belts they had a recent history to play off of. One of the good things about having a wrestler that uses a submission hold, especially a face, is that you can normally get two matches out of a feud even if you want to go with the same result. Jericho was pinned at Survivor Series, now he could tap out at Armageddon. The match was particularly good in regards to the fact that Jericho really didn’t stand a chance of winning but he still got a few convincing nearfalls. Here’s hoping we get to see some more matches between these two men in the future.

My Grade: B+

World Heavyweight Title Match: John Cena© vs. JBL (Royal Rumble 2009)

Outside of their great I Quit Match from Judgment Day 2005 Cena and JBL have notoriously bad, or at best mediocre, chemistry. This match actually wasn’t too bad, mostly because there was a particular story they were trying to tell. Really the majority of the match was Cena and JBL killing time while the audience waited for Shawn Michaels to make his move. Once HBK did get involved the finish heated up, but even then this match fits in nicely with their average-but-not-outstanding matches from the previous summer.

My Grade: C

World Heavyweight Title, Elimination Chamber Match: John Cena© vs. Edge vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho vs. Mike Knox vs. Kane (No Way Out 2009)

This match can really be broken down into three parts. The first part while Knox and Kane are still around is enjoyable, but not anything extraordinary. The second part, when it’s essentially a four-way between Cena, Jericho, Edge, and Rey is quite good and builds nicely to the awesome conclusion. For the purposes of this column that awesome conclusion doesn’t really involve Cena directly as it is contested between Edge and Rey Mysterio, although it would affect Cena from a storyline standpoint considering they were fighting over his title. Not only did the match itself build nicely but it reinvigorated and old feud between Cena and Edge that probably could have carried well enough on its own into WrestleMania.

My Grade: A

World Heavyweight Title, Triple Threat Match: Edge© vs. John Cena vs. Big Show (WrestleMania XXV)

Here is a situation where both being there live and being a fan of Cena may skew my rating a bit. It was a very fun experience watching the match live, even if it did have to follow Taker-HBK, and personally it was nice to see Cena get a big WrestleMania title win. It’s a shame that Cena couldn’t execute the double Attitude Adjustment at the end because that would have been quite the site, but I think everyone recovered nicely with the FU off Edge onto Big Show for the finish. While this wasn’t a WrestleMania classic it was a nice match that did what it was designed to do.

My Grade: B+

World Heavyweight Title, Last Chance, Last Man Standing Match: John Cena© vs. Edge (Backlash 2009)

Right now this match is getting my No. 3 vote for Match of the Year. Cena and Edge always have great matches and when you add a stipulation that more often than not provides a hot match you have an instant classic on your hands. They billed this as essentially their final confrontation and while I doubt the validity of that billing it was a fitting way to go out. Even if you weren’t too happy with Big Show’s interference at the end you have to admit that it was a pretty cool visual to see Cena go through the spotlight (I’m calling it a spotlight, why would they need a “searchlight” indoors?). THAT is how you do a nice special effects finish, not like that cheesy crap we got at the end of the Batista-Undertaker Last Man Standing Match that everyone raves over.

My Grade: A+

John Cena vs. Big Show (Judgment Day 2009)

It’s amazing when you think about it. John Cena and Big Show wrestled each other at least a half dozen times between November 2003 and March 2004, back when Cena was much greener, and there matches were actually pretty entertaining. Now five years later they seem incapable of having a good match. This match largely gets a D from me just because I have the following PPV’s match to compare it to. At least it wasn’t too long.

My Grade: D

Submission Match: John Cena vs. Big Show (Extreme Rules)

And here you have my nomination for Worst Match of the Year. Long, boring, long, botched finish, awkward booking, there is really nothing of any value in this match. Well it would have ostensibly ended the Cena-Big Show feud but we’ve seen over the past few weeks that that may not even be the case. I thought they had done a great job of building Big Show back up prior to WrestleMania, but this feud with Cena has really killed any interest in him that I’ve had. Perhaps let the big man take some time off to refresh his character and bring him back strong in the fall.

My Grade: F

John Cena vs. The Miz (The Bash 2009)

I’d like to give WWE the benefit of the doubt and say that this came off so badly because they were running short on time, but I don’t think anybody would believe that. I sit here with egg on my face for thinking that they’d actually use this Cena feud to push The Miz. I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets the US Title as a consolation prize, but this was not the starmaking performance it could have been. I’m not even saying The Miz needed to win, but something akin to Cena’s debut against Kurt Angle would have been nice.

My Grade: D+

And that wraps up the John Cena Report Card. I let things slide for a few years before I updated this bad boy, so maybe we’ll see how things progress, or regress, in a few years time. Hope you enjoyed it.

The Shimmy Likes it Raw!

What’s on tap for tonight’s show?

The Bash is behind us and now we are heading to Night of Champions. I believe there may actually be a full four weeks between these shows, whoo hoo! What might Raw’s top matches be? Perhaps we’ll find out tonight.

Since I missed last week I didn’t really have an opportunity to talk about my trip down to Charlotte for The 3-For-All a few weeks ago. I’m hoping I’ll have some time to give some better impressions about the event in a few weeks (if my working column schedule remains the same) but I will mention that I spotted Jerry Lawler out and about while I was eating lunch that Monday afternoon. Nobody was bothering him, but you’d think he’d wear a shirt that wasn’t quite as…loud out in public.

Well that does it for this week’s column. I’ll see you all back here next week. Until then, don’t die. Clark…out.

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