wrestling / Columns
The Shimmy 08.24.09: Andy’s Birthday Blowout- WrestleMania XXVI First Look
Well, it’s that time again. My birthday is drawing nigh (four days to be exact) and on top of that today is the first day of my new job. All in all it should be an exciting week. Those of you that have read my column over the years know that I celebrate by birthday here at 411 by taking my first official crack at booking the next year’s WrestleMania. I know many of you don’t like fantasy booking so this column is probably not for you. Last week I got the creative juices flowing by trying to book TNA’s Bound for Glory PPV. This was a bit more challenging, but admittedly a bit more fun. Here’s what I came up with.
Dark Match: ECW Champion vs. Intercontinental Champion vs. United States Champion, Lumberjack Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. vs. Matt Hardy vs. Carlito
This is the requisite “get everyone on the card” match and is also a good showcase of champions that may or may not actually get defended on the show. These three men in particular wouldn’t necessarily be set in stone, but it worked out best for my purposes. Shelton Benjamin needs a break from killing himself in Money in the Bank, especially if he won’t end up winning one, so they might as well reward him with an ECW Title run; William Regal would my alternate ECW Champion for the match. I pegged either Matt Hardy or Finlay as Intercontinental Champion and I felt like Matt needed to be on the card more. If any of the eight participants in Money in the Bank got injured I’d move Hardy into that spot and put Finlay here. For the United States Title I wasn’t really sold on Carlito but I didn’t have many options outside of MITB. Primo was a possibility but I think WWE sees Carlito as a bigger star. I liked the idea of Evan Bourne being the U.S. Champion for this match, but if I was pulling Shelton from MITB I definitely wanted Bourne in.
Interpromotional Battle Royal: The Great Khali vs. Kane vs. Vladimir Kozlov vs. Ezekiel Jackson vs. Big Show vs. Mark Henry; Guest Ring Announcer: Shaquille O’Neal
The chances of this match happening are slim. Every year I suggest a “big man Battle Royal” to get the big guys on the card and it never happens. Still I think it would be a nice idea, especially if it was billed as a bragging rights match between brands. Shaq’s involvement would be based on how fast he can get himself to Phoenix. The Cleveland Cavaliers have a 3:00 game in Sacramento the day of WrestleMania. Depending on when the game is over it’s conceivable he could make it to Phoenix, provided he has Vince’s plan waiting and they put the match on towards the end of the show. I also think this is where Hulk Hogan could make an appearance, coming out to clear the ring of whatever heel giant wins the match. Prior to Edge’s apparent face turn I was pondering the idea of a Hogan-Edge match to play off of the twenty year anniversary of WrestleMania VI, but that probably would not work as well now.
Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Rey Mysterio vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Christian vs. Evan Bourne vs. MVP
It’s always hard to give a good description of Money in the Bank. I really like the idea of Rey Mysterio in a Money in the Bank Match and I’ve already mentioned that I’d like Evan Bourne to play the Shelton Benjamin role. I also really like the idea of a John Morrison-The Miz clash during the match. If Morrison doesn’t win the World Title between now and WrestleMania I think he would be a perfect guy to win Money in the Bank.
Women’s Title, Lumberjill Match: Michelle McCool© vs. Trish Stratus
There had been some talk of doing this match for WrestleMania XXV this year but they decided to do the ill-received Diva Battle Royal instead. With McCool starting to publicly diss Trish on SmackDown, as well as Trish admitting that she would be interested in wrestling McCool, I think now is the opportunity to go with the match. There really doesn’t seem to be another Diva at this point that is going to step up to be the “go-to” Diva (Beth Phoenix seemed like that type but WWE has seemingly cooled on her, but Maryse does have some potential once she returns from injury) so McCool may be the best option for this match. Naturally this would be a Lumberjill Match to get all the ladies their WrestleMania payoff.
Unified Tag Team Title Match: Randy Orton & Cody Rhodes© vs. Ted DiBiase & Ted DiBiase
OK, so everyone is assuming that once “The Marine 2” comes out Ted DiBiase will break away from Legacy and turn face. The movie comes out in December so I guess that’s when we might expect something to happen. That’s still well ahead of WrestleMania so stretching out a potential Orton-DiBiase match until Mania seems unlikely. Now this brings my attention to the rumblings that Ted Jr.’s dad the “Million Dollar Man” would like to come back for one last match alongside of his son. I, like many fans, thought that there was no way Ted Sr. could ever wrestle again, but apparently he thinks so and who am I to doubt him? Coupled with a rumored Hall of Fame induction and Ted Sr.’s involvement at WrestleMania seems a bit more likely. This match could also work as a Triple Threat Match with all three Legacy members teaming with their own fathers, bring Cowboy Bob Orton Jr. and Dusty Rhodes into the fold as well.
CM Punk vs. Shawn Michaels
About a month or two ago I wrote a column wondering who would be able to step up to face Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania XXVI. As much as I liked the idea of an HBK-Ricky Steamboat dream match I thought Michaels-Punk was a much more realistic scenario. It’s a simple build as it can start in the Royal Rumble, probably Michaels eliminating Punk, and then Punk cutting a bunch of angry promos leading to a beatdown, maybe robbing Michaels of an Elimination Chamber spot. The match is a fresh one and could really be incredible, plus Michaels would give a big time rub to Punk.
Triple H vs. Batista
I am assuming that by the time WrestleMania rolls around at least one of these men will be heel. There was talk of revisiting this feud a year ago at Mania in Orlando, but nothing ever came of it. It looked like there had been some teases of a Triple H-Batista split before Batista got hurt (remember Batista was key in Triple H losing the WWE Title to Randy Orton) and I’d imagine they’d pick back up once Batista returns. Maybe both men are still faces at Mania but one of them is leaning toward the heel side (similar to Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho at Judgment Day last year). Either way I wouldn’t mind these two guys getting married to each other for a few months as this is a feud that has enough time between it to be fresh again.
Undertaker vs. Jack Swagger
I’ve been saying this for a few months now, but Jack Swagger will get the next crack at Taker’s WrestleMania undefeated streak. They’ve done two Streak vs. Title Matches in recent years, and they just did the Legend vs. Legend dream match a year ago. That leaves either the “Taker vs. Monster” or “Taker vs. Young Guy” scenario to go with. Given WWE’s lack of new stars (something even Chris Jericho has pointed out publicly) giving the rub to a skilled bluechipper is probably the right call. Swagger has the size and the talent to work well with Taker and with him being a young up and comer there is always that added drama that this might be the year that the streak is broken.
World Heavyweight Title Match: Chris Jericho© vs. Edge
At this point this is the closest thing to a “rumored” WrestleMania match as there is. I definitely foresee Jericho winning the World Title by WrestleMania, probably off of whoever the face that defeats CM Punk is (whether it be Undertaker or John Morrison). The question will be whether or not Edge will be back in time for WrestleMania. I would not have Edge win the Royal Rumble (I actually would have picked him as the 2010 Royal Rumble winner if he was healthy) so they could hold off on his return all the way until late February if they really needed to. I’d be really interested in seeing how Edge works as a face after all these years as a heel (hopefully he works on keeping his edge in the promo department because his face-like promo he cut after his injury was lacking the character that really made him great) and if there is anyone that will be able to get Edge face cheers it is Chris Jericho. The match should be fantastic to boot. I suppose if Edge isn’t ready come WrestleMania he could be replaced in this role by John Morrison.
WWE Title Match: John Cena© vs. Jeff Hardy
And then we have our main event. This could possibly be the biggest money making match WWE has left. Cena is actually not as over as he was a year ago (even when the Cena hate was strong) largely because they’ve made him seem like just another guy. The SuperCena act was pretty impressive so long as he was champion because it made him a strong champion, but defying the odds when he’s out of the title picture just makes him bland. Cena should have a strong title run heading into WrestleMania and seem like the unstoppable force he was during his year long run in 2006-2007. Jeff Hardy on the other hand should be refreshed from taking some time off and come back to a massive response. I already think Jeff’s pops probably rival Cena’s so imagine what they will be like once he comes back. Jeff should either be a mystery participant in the Royal Rumble or his return should be hyped for the match, but either way he should win the Rumble and head on to WrestleMania with plenty of momentum. That will give him No Way Out to tie up any loose ends before heading into a showdown with Cena. By the way, if you look at the dynamics of Cena-Jeff match it’s actually rather similar to the main event of WrestleMania twenty years prior. This match could be huge, I just hope WWE has the wherewithal to pull the trigger.
And that’s my card. I’ll probably take a stab at this again around Survivor Series. I wonder how much things will change. Feel free to mock or compliment or otherwise comment on the card down in the comments section. I know how much you guys loved my Bound for Glory ideas last week.
The Shimmy Likes it Raw!
What’s on tap for tonight’s show?
Well that’s it for this week’s column. Until next time, don’t die. Clark…out.
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