The SmarK RAW Rant – June 15 2004

The SmarK RAW Rant – June 15, 2004

– Circumstances necessitated taping the late showing of RAW and watching it on Tuesday, so if I’m missing anything that was in the live showing, that’s why. I haven’t watched Bad Blood yet, but I have a copy so if I get a chance later in the week, I’ll do the rant for that, too.

– Live from Dayton, OH.

– Your hosts are JR & King.

– TSN picks up with Shawn in the ring and HHH wandering out to confront him. JR wants them to end the feud (so do I) and Shawn offers to make nice, but Uncle Eric interrupts all the thrilling staring. Kane then chases him out for some reason and lays out Shawn with a boot, which prompts HHH to run away, and Kane finishes destroying Shawn, putting him out of action for a while, you’d presume. At least he won’t be getting any more title shots in that time.

– Meanwhile, Lita takes a home pregnancy test. They just HAD to do the pregnancy angle. Jerry Springer would be all over this – “My baby’s daddy is a cartoonish monster with supernatural powers!”

– It’s Highlight Reel time, with Eugene and Regal as guests. Jericho talks wrestling with him, reminiscing about Jericho pissing in Regal’s tea years ago. Apparently Eugene did the same thing last week. Jericho warns Eugene about the EVILS OF HHH and how he’s just out to end Eugene’s career. And of course, HHH interrupts, since it’s apparently the HHH show tonight. Eugene marks out for the entrance, which makes him one of the few. Evolution even comes bearing a gift for him. Well, even evil people can have good manners too. HHH, in super condescending mode, lets Eugene know that he’s really his friend and Jericho is a liar. And to prove it, it’s HHH merchandise! The autographed picture is a nice touch. HHH gets him to sign an Evolution shirt, and we get the touching group picture. Having established all that, HHH buries Jericho & Regal as liars and establishes Eugene as his personal stooge. That’s a pretty good start to a Eugene-HHH storyline, if that’s where they want to go, with Eugene as his unwitting lackey.

– Meanwhile, Lita and Stacy flex their acting muscles and have a heart-to-heart, revealing that Lita is pregnant. Stacy, who apparently doesn’t watch TV, assumes it’s Matt’s baby. We who have more than 2 brain cells of course know better.

– Molly Holly & Gail Kim v. Stacy Keibler & Nidia. Nidia takes Gail down with a couple of armdrags and a dropkick to start, and Gail brings Molly in. Whatever happened to the “crazy Molly” storyline, anyway? Molly works on the arm and gets two. Nidia brings Stacy in and she does the Nash choke in the corner, but Gail yanks her off the apron and Molly stomps away. Molly hits the chinlock and gets two. We get the false tag to Nidia, which allows Gail to get a cheapshot and keep Stacy down, and it’s a rather crazy anklelock, but Nidia breaks. Molly keeps working on the back with elbows and chokes away, but they clothesline each other and it’s a double KO. Gail comes in again and gets another wacky submission move, kind of like the Brock Lock, and Stacy taps at 5:09. Nice to see Gail learning new things, but what was the point of the match? *1/4

– Earlier tonight, which TSN cut out, Kane goes nuts and destroys Bischoff’s office, having lost his #1 contender status. But he’s gained a baby!

– Elimination tag match: Ric Flair, Batista & Randy Orton v. Chris Benoit, Edge & Chris Jericho. Hey, more Evolution v. Spinal Fusion, fine by me. Jericho starts with Orton and rides him down, into a bow-and-arrow, but Orton escapes. They stay on the mat, but Flair comes in and goes for the arm. Jericho knocks him down and they trade chops, but Jericho gets stuck in the heel corner. Flair drops a knee and Batista uses the CLUBBING FOREARM and a nice snap powerslam for two. OK, he’s winning me over. Back to Flair, and it’s more chops, but Jericho wins that battle. Edge comes in with a backdrop and clotheslines Flair to the floor, and Benoit sends Orton flying out, too. The faces triple-team Batista and get rid of him, and we take a break. Back with Flair working on Benoit with chops, but that’s a losing proposition for him, as my man fires back with MUSTARD and Flair goes down. Backdrop out of the corner and it’s back to Edge again, but Flair goes to the eyes and gets into a slugfest, which he loses. Edge fires away in the corner, but Flair brings him out of the corner with an atomic drop. Orton’s turn, but he walks into a clothesline and Benoit comes back in with a snap suplex, until Orton pounds him down and Batista comes in to hammer him with knees. Benoit gives him some chops, but walks into the MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER. He even fights off the other faces and pounds Benoit on the ground. One thing I like about tag team Batista – he minimizes the actual offense, but does everything with super intensity now, instead of doing a bunch of subpar power moves. Orton stomps Benoit down for two. Flair chops Benoit down for two. He goes to an armbar and causes Benoit some pain, but gets chopped down again. Batista drops an elbow on the back and gets a suplex for two. Batista whips him into the corner and works on the back, but misses a charge and hurts the shoulder, allowing Benoit to tag Jericho. He starts chopping, and takes Batista down for an attempt at the Walls, but Batista powers out. Jericho takes him down for the running choke, but Batista catches him with a lariat and kills Edge & Benoit with a double version. Jericho catches the running enzuigiri for two, however. Edge cleans house, but get tossed by Flair, so Benoit chops him out, then gets dumped by Batista. Edge spears Batista to finish the sequence, setting up the flying headbutt from Benoit, and Jericho’s Lionsault for the pin to eliminate Batista at 14:41. That would have been a hell of a main event by itself, but the match is still going. So it’s 3-on-2 now, as Flair stomps Jericho down and then lays in the chops. Orton keeps up the punishment and hits the chinlock in hyperactive fashion. That’s pretty cool, actually. Finally he settles down a bit and Jericho has to fight out, which he does, and gets the drop sleeper to allow a tag to Edge. Edge spears Orton in the corner and clotheslines him down, setting up a suplex for two. Blind charge hits boot, but Orton goes up, and Edge follows with a superplex. That sets up the spear, but HHH trips him up, and Flair comes in to work the back and chops Edge down. Kneedrop gets two. Edge comes back with a clothesline, but Flair goes up, and, you know. Back to Jericho, who goes chop-crazy and backdrops Flair out of the corner. Bulldog gets two, but Orton saves. Benoit gets rid of Orton with that crazy over-the-top bump that’s gonna end his career some day (Randy needs to talk to Ricky Steamboat), and Jericho gets the Walls, until Orton breaks it up with the RKO behind the ref’s back and Flair gets the pin at 21:16 to even it up. We take another break and return with Benoit trying to fight off Flair & Orton, then chopping the shit out of Flair. Benoit gets a snap suplex and Spinal Fusion works him over in the corner, triggering another Flair Flop, which is three or four for the match. I think that’s a record. Back to Edge, which gives Flair a chance to go low and bring Orton back in again. He drops a knee for two and goes to the chinlock again, as Edge fights back up and gets a leg lariat. Back to Benoit, who fires off chops and headbutts Orton down, and gets a knee to the gut for two. Orton returns fire with his own and it’s back to Flair, who takes his time strutting before starting a chopfest, and this time Benoit just slugs him until it’s time for the rolling germans, which Orton interrupts. Benoit gives him a suplex for his troubles and dumps him. Shoulderblock for Flair, and it’s tags on both ends, as Edge clotheslines Orton down and gets a flying forearm. Backdrop for Flair, backdrop for Orton, another backdrop for Flair. Spear for Flair, but Orton goes low behind the ref’s back, RKO, and he’s gone at 29:35. So it’s 2-on-Benoit. Flair goes for the figure-four, but Benoit reverses to the crossface at 30:19, leaving it one-on-one. Orton pounds Benoit down and gets a legdrop for two. They slug it out and Benoit sends him into the corner for the rolling germans, but Orton fights out and the ref is wiped out. Benoit opts for the Sharpshooter, but then has to stop and get rid of HHH. Orton goes for the RKO, but Benoit counters out and takes him down with the Sharpshooter again. Orton taps at 32:51, making Benoit the survivor. HELL of a match. ****1/4

The Bottom Line:

Well, TSN obviously edited the show down to 90 minutes, but it was some good editing because they left in all the important stuff, and the six-man was the bulk of the show anyway. I probably missed a ton of stuff that wasn’t as good, but from my perspective this was a really strong show.