The Tremendous Tirade – Smackdown 9.22.06

Writer’s Note: Since this is the first time in 5-years that I will be able to watch Smackdown in my own home, and due to 411’s lack of Smackdown coverage due to all the preemptions the past weeks I figured I would toss a review up of the show for you all. This will be a cross between my regular style and a “breakdown” style, if you will. I am also using a lot of bullet points and stars; I stole them from JD. Enjoy kids.

Remember to send your thoughts on the show for the 3R’s!

WWE Smackdown, begins…NOW!

Teddy Long is on the phone and is happy to be on the CW. King Booker and Queen Sharmell enter. The Queen is not happy, she shows Teddy the King’s hands, royal hands. Unsullied by the dirt of the common people. King Booker calls him THADIOUS! The King is insulted he has to face Vito, the man that wears a dress. He tells Teddy to look upon the Queen’s dress, a dress made by the finest hands. He will not sully himself in battle with Vito. Teddy says Vito is undefeated in the dress, but he has stepped aside. Queen Sharmell says that is good because King Booker would have SMOTE him! Teddy says he is now facing Undertaker. King Booker snaps back to “Booker T” mode and says, “AW HELL NAH DAWG! IT AIN’T GOING DOWN LIKE THIS!”

Cole and JBL welcome us to the show as Batista makes his way to the ring.

Batista and Lashley vs. Sir Finlay and Sir William Regal

Regal cheat shots Batista to start the match, but the big man gains control quickly and teases the thumb down. Finlay beaks it up and Batista gets a spinebuster for 2 on regal as Final is in to break that up. Lashley and Batista double suplex Regal and Lashley takes control. Snap suplex for 2. Tag to Finlay and a belly to belly on Finlay. JBL compares Lashley to Ron Simmons as far as power goes. Back breaker by Lashley gets 2. Finlay tosses him to the floor and Regal clotheslines him. Finlay in control now with stiff shots. Elbow drops now and a rear chin lock. Lashley fights back, but eats a clothesline. Regal back in and covers for 2. Knees and boots by Regal and another cover for 2. Tag to Finlay and a running shoulder ram to Lashley gets 2. Kicks by Finlay and then they double-team Lashley. Knee drops and then elbows by Finlay. Regal back in and an elbow to Lashley. Lashley fights back now, but a throw by Regal gets 2. Front facelock by Regal. Lashley fights…Regal kicks Batista and Finlay in and takes down Lashley. Batista in and he and Finlay brawl to the floor. Finlay sent into the crowd. Batista steals the Shillelagh and Lashley gets a spear on Regal for the win.

Winners: Batista and Lashley @ 7:33 via pin

Fun opener, anytime I get to see Finlay and Regal beat people down is a good day. **¼

JBL and Cole hype Rey vs. Chavo for later as well as King Booker vs. The Undertaker.

Back from commercial and Layla makes her way to the ring. She welcomes us to the season premiere of Smackdown. She dances.

Krystal makes her way out. She gets all pissy and she is tired of all the Diva Search winners doing what they please. It is obvious that she is the hottest on Smackdown, and she didn’t have to win some contest. She has a welcome for her and slaps her. A CATFIGHT ensues and Jillian is out. She rips off Krystal’s top and helps Layla up. Jillian then whops her ass and rips off her top. She clears the ring and takes off her top and celebrates.

JBL and Cole hype the rest of the show again.

A Rey vs. Chavo video package runs.

NON-TITLE MATCH: Gregory Helms © vs. Matt Hardy

Boots by Hardy begin things. He unloads on the Champ and takes him down with a clothesline. Helms back with a boot and then gets dumped over the top and to the floor. Slingshot plancha by Hardy. Back into the ring and Hardy in control. Elbows by Helms and a boot. Up top he goes and Hardy with rights. He goes up top…and helms stuns him off the top rope. Neck breaker by Helms gets 2. Punches by Helms and then chokes Hardy in the ropes. Stunner off the ropes and boots by Helms. Wrist lock and an arm drag by Helms. Cover for 2. Helms works a headlock variant while Hardy fights. Rights by Hardy and head butts, but a face buster by Helms allows him a cover for 2. Sleeper by Helms now. Jawbreaker by Hardy and he escapes. Sleeper again by Helms, but Hardy escapes. Helms to the 2nd rope but Hardy back with the side effect for 2. Elbows and a moonsault by Hardy gets a close 2! TOF try…Helms grabs the ropes and gets the SHINING WIZARD for 2~! Helms to the corner and takes off the pad. LOW BLOW by Hardy! 1…2…3!

Winner: Matt Hardy @ 5:42 via pin

Good little match here. I am digging the feud here, and they need to have Matt “officially” go back to “Cruiserweight weight” and challenge for the title. **

The Miz is backstage and is all crazy. He hypes all the shows he has been on, and he will remain undefeated when he delivers a reality check. HOO-RAH~!

Back from commercial and we see Jimmy Wang Yang. Right. He debuts next week.

Funaki vs. The Miz

They lock it up and Miz gets control with a headlock. Funaki escapes and Miz flips out and arm drags Funaki…HOO-RAH. JBL says Miz’s hair looks like a Red Rooster started kit. Glorious. Miz celebrates after a slam and mocks Funaki. Funaki misses a dropkick and stomps and chokes away at Funaki. Suplex, HOO-RAH! Reality Check neck breaker and that is all. I refuse to call it the “Mizzard of Oz.” HOO-ORF!

Winner: The Miz @ 2:36 via pin

Squash ½*

Rey is backstage and he says nothing has effected him like Chavo and Vicki’s betrayal. They ripped out his midget heart and raped his soul. But life goes on. Tonight is the first day of the rest of his life. Did someone buy Rey a “Profound Thoughts of the Day Calendar?”

Back from commercial as Cole and JBL hype that Cena is here.

Marine movie propaganda is shown.

Chavo Guerrero w/Vicky Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Chavo’s plugs are looking spiffy. They brawl at the bell. Chavo in control for a bit until Rey starts to fire back. Uppercuts by Chavo, but Rey with a head scissors takes him to the floor. Rey off the apron and a RANA to Chavo and they go over the barricade and into the crowd. They brawl back to ringside, and uppercuts by Chavo. Still in the crowd actually and Nick Patrick tries to regain order, but Rey dives off the bleachers onto Chavo. Patrick tries to stop it but they ignore him. Rey slams Chavo into the hockey boards. It’s TNA MAIN EVENT STYLE ™~! Back to ringside and Vicky checks on Chavo as they brawl more. Back into the ring and Vicky gives Chavo a chair but Rey dropkicks it into Chavo’s head. Vicky is in and goes to slap Rey but Chavo attacks. Blah more brawling and Patrick calls for help.

Winner: No Contest @ 4:43

They get separated and stare down. Nope, more brawling, yay.

Just a giant brawl to keep the angle going. *

Some blond French bitch welcomes us to the season premiere. I think that was Marse from the Diva Search.

WWE TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: London and Kendrick © vs. The Pitbulls (Kash and Noble) vs. KC James and Idol Stevens w/McCool

The Pitbulls and the Champs brawl before the other team can enter. Kash and Noble in control as BOBBY EATON…er I mean KC James and Idol make their way in. Kendrick in control with a leg lariat to Noble but KC levels him. Idol tags in and they double team Kendrick and cover for 2. Noble is in as it is 3-at a time and they knock London to the floor. Idol in control and beats down Kendrick and Noble. Nobel has enough of that and tags Kash in and they double team Idol. Kash in and he is rather pissed. Elbows and a cover for 2. Idol gets a roll up for 2. Tag to KC and clubbing shots to Kash and Kendrick. Kash fires back, head butts and Idol is in now to stop that. KC chokes out Kash as Idol then gets a snap mare and misses an elbow. Noble in and Kendrick is tossed to the floor. Rolling neck breaker to Noble. London nails Idol and a leg lariat by Kendrick. Noble misses a charge and a tag to London. Dropkicks and leg lariats for all. Elbows to Idol…double stomp as well. Cover for 2. Noble and Kash in and double team him…boot to Noble and McCool distracts the ref, brain buster by Kash. Sliced bread #2 by Kendrick. Top rope knee by Idol gets 2 as Noble saves it. Idol rammed to the steal. London escapes the tiger driver, KC clotheslines Noble and London gets a roll up for the pin.

Winners: London and Kendrick @ 5:40 via pin

Fun last minute to the match, but other than that it was just a collection of stuff. At least they have some fun tag teams. *¾

Backstage Elijah Burke introduces Turkay. He hypes his credentials. Turkay may have the biggest jaw of any man I have ever seen. He is Sylvester Turkay. What is sad is that Turkay IS an MMA guy, but he doesn’t make it look good in a pre-wrestling setting. While CM Punk and his “MMA” stuff is fake as shit but looks worlds better. Sad.

Back from commercial with clips of Batista in the Philippines.

Sylvan comes out to a big pop, no seriously he does. He talks French for a bit, JBL theorizes that he surrendered. I agree. I took French for 4-years, French I, French I, French II and French II and I can’t make out what he said.

Sylvan vs. Tatanka

Just so you all know, North Carolina does not claim Tatanka. They lock up and Sylvan in control early. Tatanka fights back, and the Frenchies hate him about as much as I do. Good on them. Suplex by Tatanka and then he works the back. Wow, people actually chanting for Sylvan. Chinlock by Tatanka, Sylvan fights, escapes and then chops by Tatanka. Sylvan totally botches whatever the hell it was he tried. It was some kind of spinebuster or uranage. Dropkick by Sylvan, spinning side slam gets 2. Sylvan tosses Tatanka to the floor. Sunset flip by Tatanka, Sylvan sit down and grabs the ropes for the win.

Winner: Sylvan @ 3:41 via pin

Tatanka complains after the match, I am complaining too for having to have watched that match.

How many times have they faced? I don’t even watch the show but even I know they have had like 20-matches in the last 13-weeks. Get this shit off my TV, both guys are about useless. This was brutal. (N-R)

Back from commercial with Teddy Long backstage. Cena is here. They hug and Teddy says it is all good. Cena wants to thank him or the contract offer, which got him his WWE Title match and title back. Teddy is happy for him, and says since he owes him, next week how about Cena team with Lashley and Batista to battle with Sir Regal, Sir Finlay and King Booker. Teddy says it will be huge, WWE champ vs. World champ in the same ring. Cena says they have a deal. They are going out for Chicken and Waffles, on Cena. Teddy dances. It best be ROSCOE’S CHICKEN AND WAFFLES~! With some gravy baby.

They hype the updated No Mercy Card:
-Sir Finlay vs. Batista
-Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero
-US TITLE MATCH: Undertaker vs. Mr. Kennedy ©
-WORLD TITLE MATCH: Lashley vs. King Booker ©

Mr. Kennedy comes out to do commentary for the match.

Back from commercial as King Booker finishes his entrance. Time for the Undertaker entrance, I will go make a soufflé and be back for the match.

WORLD TITLE MATCH: The Undertaker vs. King Booker © w/Queen Sharmell

They circle for a bit as King Booker tries to stay away. JBL and Cole put over Taker’s “Striking Ability” and Kennedy acts scared. King Booker runs from the ring but eventually gains control with rights. Boot by King Booker, but Taker clotheslines him to the floor. Taker slams King Booker to the steps and we head to a commercial @ 1:35.

Back from commercial @ 4:27 as Taker is in control with a big boot and cover for 2. Wristlock by Taker, he works the arm with elbows. Taker powers King Booker up with the one arm and drops him on his royal ass. Taker working the kidneys, and then back to the arm. Kennedy is great on commentary putting over his fear of Taker. Taker tries old school, but King Booker fights. Up with him…superplex try is countered and King Booker is head butted off. Queen Sharmell distracts the ref and a low blow, followed by the superplex by King Booker and the momentum has swung in a royal way. Kicks by King Booker and then he chokes Taker. A royal choke indeed. Scissors kick by King Booker and a cover for 2. Stiff rights by King Booker, and JBL lets us know that it is on like a pot of neck bones. Chops by King Booker and Taker to the floor. King Booker attacks off the apron and slams Taker off the steps. Back into the ring and a dropkick by King Booker and a cover for 2. Taker fights back with rights now. Off the ropes and a Royal DDT by King Booker gets 2. Dead Man Sit Up and King Booker with rights, but to no avail as taker battles back. Thumb to the eye by King Booker, misses the leg lariat and Taker with the big lariat gets 2! Snake eyes by Taker and a running big boot to King Booker! Leg drop and a cover for 2 by Taker. Taker GOOZLES King Booker! Elbow out and off the ropes with the leg lariat by King Booker! He cover taker and gets 2! King Booker stalks Taker…boot…and a Tombstone try, countered and King Booker escapes and LOW BLOWA Taker for the DQ.

Winner: The Undertaker @ 12:13 via DQ

King Booker has the title and NAILS Taker after the match. He and Queen Sharmell leave and Lashley is out and tosses King Booker back in. Taker is up now and GOOZLES King Booker! Chokeslam! He goes for the tombstone and nails it on King Booker.

Good match, probably the right thing to do for the “season premiere of the show. **½

Taker and Kennedy stare down after the match as Taker gives him the cut throat sign. They hype the 6-man for next week: Cena ©, Batista and Lashley vs. King Booker ©, Sir Regal and Sir Finlay.

The Tremendous Tirade: Well lets see what we had here. There was the solid opening with some star power to make a hot crowd, so that was good. Helms and Hardy was also good and I am liking where it is going. I’ll skip over Chavo vs. Rey since I hate that garbage. Miz is Miz, and Sylvan vs. Tatanka was painful. I think reintroducing Turkay was smart since they are banking on new viewers, so good deal. I liked that they had the tag title match here, but those guys need more time and on PPV in my opinion. They are building the card for the PPV very well so far, and if they can add a few more smartly build matches, this one could be a good event. The main event was good, and the commentary by Kennedy and JBL really put over the Kennedy vs. Taker match, while the Lashley run in helped add heat to their match. Fun show this week.

Let me know what you thought, and if you want me to drop some more of these recaps.

Remember to send your thoughts on the show for the 3R’s!