USWA Championship Wrestling (1.13.1990)

-Originally aired January 13, 1990.

-Your host is Michael St. John. LAST NIGHT! Jerry Lawler lost the World Unified Championship in a major upset to King Cobra.

-We go to Dave Brown at the TV studio in Memphis, where Dave Brown welcomes the now-ex-champion Jerry Lawler. We’re in a rare moment in Lawler’s career, as he’s full heel in Memphis. The babyface act had gotten stale and fans were turning against him, so Lawler turned heel, which ended up totally revitalizing him and as a result, he’s getting about a 50/50 reaction instead of a top heel’s reception. Jerry Lawler gives us a history lesson, reminding us that the WWF was told in court that Jerry Lawler was the only “King of Wrestling,” and so going forward, he warns Dave Brown that he should only refer to King Cobra as “Cobra.”

-Anyway, Lawler felt he got screwed. He wrestled Bill Dundee already. Cobra was scheduled to wrestle the opening match against Tommy Gilbert, who no-showed for some reason, so Cobra didn’t wrestle, he was fresh, and Cobra was allowed to get in the ring immediately after the Lawler/Dundee match, forcing Lawler to defend the title.

-Next, a video package recapping the Matt Borne/PY Chu Hi feud. PY keeps running in and assaulting Matt Borne during matches, but luckily the babyfaces keep running to ringside to rescue him…

-UNTIL last night at the Sportatorium. Jeff Jarrett and Matt Borne were battling the Stud Stable when suddenly PY Chu Hi stepped in. As the Stud Stable double-teamed Jarrett, Chu Hi came off the top rope with a sit down splash, and maybe part of his heel gently tapped any part of Borne’s body. He just aimed this horribly, and what’s worse is that this is supposed to be a major angle, so they’re playing it up as “Oh my god, Borne has suffered a career-ending injury!” Awful, awful, AWFUL in execution.

-Billy Joe Travis is here to talk about his upcoming Guitar on a Pole match in Evansville. He’s not about to risk the guitar that Mick Jagger gave him in a match like this…but he’s willing to risk a much larger guitar that Hank Williamns, Jr. gave him.

-We go back to the Memphis studio, where Jerry Lawler has been holding up the show for 17 minutes. They finally get a jobber in the ring and try to move on, but Lawler goes in and tells the jobber to get out of there. Lawler says that if they want a match on TV today, Eddie Marlin needs to get a contract in front of Cobra and sign a match for the title RIGHT NOW. Bill Dundee gets in the ring, surprised that he doesn’t have an opponent for his scheduled match, and he leaves in frustration while Lawler keeps demanding that Eddie Marlin get out here.

-Back to Michael St. John in the control center, and a frustrated Bill Dundee storms in, vents some brief frustrations about Lawler, and also warns that bad stuff is about to happen to Billy Joe Travis in that guitar-on-a-pole match.

-So we’re BACK in the Memphis studio, and Lawler remains adamant that absolutely nothing is happening on this show until his rematch is signed.

-We cut away to a commercial, and when we return, Lawler is destroying the set in the Memphis studio. He won’t even allow the director to roll a highlight reel to fill time. He simply will not allow ANY show at all until his rematch has been dealt with.

-But at Dave Brown’s insistence, we get a Jeff Jarrett highlight reel. He’s freshly showered and standing under a street lamp. Ladies, the line forms to the left.

-Lawler is pissed about not having his will backed up by the director, so now he marches into the control room and shoves a producer for rolling tape when the director ordered it.

-We get a Billy Joe Travis highlight reel, and I’m amazed we haven’t gotten a Honky Tonk Man shoot interview where he shits all over the guy because his entrance is a ripoff of the guy going the Elvis ripoff gimmick. Oddly enough, Billy Joe bears a passing resemblance to Carl Perkins, which would have been a nice meta-twist on the character.

-Back in the studio, Michael St. John puts his finger to his ear and he’s being told that we missed Jerry Lawler busting into King Cobra’s dressing room and demanding a rematch, which Cobra finally granted. THAT’S the payoff?! We built and built and built and we don’t even see that?

JIMMY JACK FUNK, CHRIS ADAMS, & CHICO TORREZ vs. JEFF GAYLORD, SNAKE BRADDOCK, & PY CHU HI (with Tojo Yamomoto and Skandar Akbar)
-On commentary, Terry “Not That Terry Garvin” Garvin is doing a funny running gag where he calls Chico a completely different name every time. Not even sound-alike names, just a totally different name for each call.

-So “Tito Carabella” locks up with Snake Braddock to start. Snake Braddock chops Julio Martinez, but Pancho Villa connects with a flying forearm right away for two. Fillipe Gonzalez wrings the arm and throws a dropkick, and Braddock gets out of there. PY Chu Hi tags in to try his luck with Hector Muraco, but Pedro gets him on the mat with an arm wringer. Chris Adams tags in and goes to town on the arm. Funk tags in and adds a little help. Gaylord tags in and JJ gives him a shoulderbreaker while Marc Lowrence, on commentary, assures us repeatedly that Terry Garvin will never join him on commentary again.

-Pedro Martinez comes back in and Gaylord takes a few shots before tagging Braddock back in. Faces go back to the strategy that worked before, as they take turns tagging quickly and just staying on the arm. Inverted atomic drop by JJ Funk. Jose Guacamole tags back in and misses a corner charge, and PY Chu Hi doesn’t waste any time, going right to work with chops and choking. Skandar Akbar orders PY to lay off a little bit, going to commentary and saying it hurts him more than it’s hurting Chico, because he made Chico an offer to join the big time and make a lot of money by signing to Akbar’s group, and Chico just wouldn’t do it. It’s too bad.

-Back from the break, now it’s the heels going to town on the arm of Hector Martinez, as Garvin’s well is sadly running dry , but he was game for a while. Chu Hi slams Chico and a huge chant goes up for Chico. Chu Hi does a really lethargic version of the Garvin stomp while Akbar suddenly pulls out an unsigned contract and gives Chico a chance to reconsider, but Chico shakes his head no, so it’s back to getting his ass kicked.

-Gaylord tags in and ties Pedro Tortilla in the ropes–hey, he got a second wind! Lowrence is pretty noticeably trying not to break at all of Garvin’s ridiculous names as the heels keep mauling Chico. Skandar Akbar again insists that he doesn’t really want this to happen, but he has no choice. Referee misses a hot tag to Adams, buying the heels some extra time to triple-team Torres. DDT by PY…gets the pin?! Clean as a sheet?!…Well, okay then. Match was fine, just a totally unexpected way to end it.