411’s WWE Smackdown Report 11.18.04

Welcome my friends to a new era. I am your man, I am Nick Marsico, Larry Csonka’s protйgй, and apparently the Next Big Thing around here. We’ll see what I can do about that.

The show begins with John Cena coming out to the ring, pumped up about his US Title match against Carlito Caribbean Cool tonight. He busts out one of his better rhymes in a good long while, running down Carlito and Jesus. Apparently, the champ is back.

Backstage, Al introduces the Tough Enough contestants once again, and asks Chris Nawrocki if he would like to quit due to his broken rib. He says no, but is eliminated anyway. Good; now MY BOY~! Daniel Puder is one man closer to the prize. After the commercials, the contestants come out to the ring, and they have a new challenge. Each man has a shot to get past the Basham Brothers from corner to corner in order to reach a flag attached to a ring post. They were given 30 seconds, and none of them made it. Puder, once again, MY BOY~!, came closest, and the crowd responded to him the loudest.

We see Rey in the back looking for RVD, who he mistakenly calls “RDV” while asking some random schmuck of his whereabouts. He then chants “RVD” to himself, probably because he doesn’t want to forget it again, not to mention that he probably felt foolish for getting it wrong. Hell, I do the same thing when something like that happens to me. Anyway, he finds Van Dam in his locker room stretching with Diva contestant Michelle McCool, and all of them stretch together. Tonight they have a non-title match against Kenzo and Renee.

After the break, Theodore R. Long is in his office when Carlito and Jesus enter. CCC wants his match postponed for 4-6 weeks, but even though the GM has seen all of the doctor’s notes and x-rays, he is still forcing the champ to defend his belt tonight against John Cena. Carlito threatens to spit in his face, but Theodore R. laughs at the thought, and Cool stops cold.

Elsewhere, Paul Heyman is strapping Heidenreich in his straitjacket. He is explaining to Heidenreich that he gained a moral victory at Survivor Series, and that he is The Undertaker’s “personal demon”. Heyman explains that he has know the Dead Man for years, and he has never seen anybody – not The Rock, not Steve Austin, not even Hulk Hogan – get a look from The Undertaker like his client did Sunday night. Heidenreich just wants to get his match with Charlie Haas over with, as he heads out of his dressing room.

The WrestleMania Recall is Andre the Giant choking Bob Uecker at WM IV. Damn, at least they could start showing some different ones. Why must they show the same ones every single year?

This week in Atlanta, WWE held the Armageddon press conference.

Heidenreich vs. Charlie Haas

This is short and sweet. Following a big boot to the face, Heidenreich picks up Haas and drops him with a super shoulderbreaker, and then goes crazy. He leaves the ring and gets counted out, then goes out over the barricade and crumbles to the floor, mumbling to himself about how he can’t fail, and how he did not lose on Sunday.

Haas def. Heidenreich via Count Out – 2:21

Rey Mysterio & Rob Van Dam vs. Kenzo Suzuki & Rene Dupree

RVD and Kenzo start out in the ring for this non-title match. RVD gets a quick advantage, and a spin kick leads to an early 2 count. He tags in Rey and they hit that awesome double team leg drop, and that gets 2. Kenzo takes control when Rey hurts his knee on a springboard backflip, but Rey quickly regains control until his attempt at the 619 is thwarted by Dupree. The action spills out to the floor as RVD catapults the interfering Dupree into the ring post, and Rey springboards back into the ring with a dropkick on Suzuki. RVD and Rey stand alone in the ring as we head to a commercial.

Back to the show with Rey and Kenzo still the legal men. After a throat thrust, Kenzo tags in Dupree, but Rey counters his attempts to snatch victory from the grasp of the challenging duo with a 10 punch in the corner followed up by a very nice frankensteiner from the top. That gets 2, and Kenzo interferes with a knee to the back of Rey as he comes off the ropes, which leads to a single man flapjack by the French Phenom, who tags in the Bronze Warrior. He comes in with chops in the corner on Mysterio, and hits the chinlock, signifying the most exciting part of the match. Rey gets out of it, but runs into a huge flying shoulderblock and kicks out of a pinfall attempt at 2. Rene tags in and nails a beautiful standing dropkick, which gets another 2 count before tagging right back out to his partner. A little cheating transpires as RVD has the ref distracted, and Kenzo gets another 2 with a jumping knee to the head of Mysterio. Rey finally escapes with a few elbows and a bulldog on Suzuki, and he gets the hot tag to RVD. Van Dam literally kicks Kenzo silly, and then gets a kick in from the top rope on Rene to knock him off the apron. Rey aides Rob with a sunset flip, but Kenzo is able to kick out after 2. Another double team sees Van Dam throwing Rey into a splash on Suzuki, which gets 2 upon the breakup by Dupree. RVD then gets a drop toe hold to Kenzo onto the middle rope, and Rey low bridges Rene to the outside, then comes in and nails the 619. With the 5 Star Frogsplash, Kenzo is pinned and the challengers defeat the champs.

Rey Mysterio & Rob Van Dam def. Kenzo Suzuki & Rene Dupree via pinfall – 11:44

Following the commercial break, Kurt Angle comes out to the ring to announce a new feature that will occur on SmackDown! each week. He will challenge any newcomer from the area in which the show is touring for a match. Should Kurt lose to any of these men, he will personally deliver them their prize for victory – Angle’s Olympic Gold Medal. Out comes our challenger for the evening, and we have a match on our hands.

Kurt Angle vs. Dean Visk

Angle starts out by taking Visk down and riding him a bit, and upon the second tie-up, Kurt puts in a hammerlock, which Dean counters and takes down Angle, who offers up a handshake. This apparent show of respect ends quickly, as our Olympic Hero pulls back and lands a quick jab to the face of Visk, and stomps him down in the corner. He then hits a belly-to-belly overhead suplex, the Angle Slam, and once the straps come down, we all know it’s over. Visk taps out to the Ankle Lock.

Kurt Angle def. Dean Visk via submission – 2:16

JBL is in the back with yet another failed Diva contestant, this time Amy Weber. She’s a new member of his cabinet, playing the role of his “image consultant”. JBL and Orlando are up next for the champion’s Survivor Series victory speech. JBL! JBL! JBL! I like to chant his name.

In the ring, Layfield explains how only once in a while is there a great man in any walk of life. In one generation, there were such basketball greats as Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Isaiah Thomas, and Dominique Wilkins, but one man stood out from the crowd, and that man’s name was Michael Jordan. And much like those men in that time, Eddy Guerrero, Booker T, and The Undertaker were all greats in the wrestling business, but one man’s name overshadows and outshines them all, and that man is John Bradshaw Layfield, the symbol of America. This elicits comments from Booker T, who interrupts the proceedings and wants a rematch for the title. Eddy Guerrero interrupts as well, and he wants the same. So does The Undertaker, which he indicates simply by gesturing with his hands. Henceforth we get an appearance by the General Manager Theodore R. Long, who makes a Fatal Four Way match for the WWE Title at Armageddon between these four men. Bravo, and holla, holla, holla. JBL was absolutely hilarious here. Oh, and by the way, ‘Taker’s entrance was 2 minutes and 25 seconds, which turned out to be longer than three of the four matches on the card for the evening.

With all of the hubbub and ruckus cleared from the ringside area, the Tough Enough contestants are back out, and they all plead their case for why they should win. Puder, while seeming the most uncomfortable on the mic, got the biggest pop by far. He can work on that. VOTE PUDER! He’s MY BOY~!

My god, and now here’s ANOTHER diva contestant, as Joy is in the back as Carlito’s massage therapist. She hurt him, however, and she also knows nothing, because she’s a woman. The US Title match is right after the break.

United States Championship
Challenger John Cena vs. Champion Carlito Caribbean Cool (with Jesus)

Cena takes care of Jesus in the ring, and tosses him out, but then must follow in order to get to Carlito. He beats the champion down on the outside, and takes a chair from CCC’s socio, and nails Cool in the shoulder. Cena puts him in the ring, spits the apple in his face, and nails the FU for the victory. When he is trying to retrieve his chain, however, Jesus attacks him from behind, takes the chain, and punches him right in the kidney with it wrapped around his fist.

John Cena def. Carlito Caribbean Cool for the US Title via pinfall – 0:26

The show ends with the EMT unit carrying Cena out on a stretcher. I’m not sure how I feel about Cena winning the belt back and then leaving again with an injury angle. I’ll have more on this, though, next Friday when I run down my 3 Rs.

That’s it, folks. I hope you liked my first try at this little thing we like to call a recap. See you next week.

-Nick Marsico