wrestling / Columns
The Shimmy 3.19.07: WrestleMania Matches That Should Have Been Booked
Happy March Madness, everybody. How are those brackets going? Yeah, that’s what I thought. I ought to star this week off with some props to my VCU Rams. Hell of an effort, boys. That win over Duke was absolutely incredible and the fortitude they showed in coming back from 19 down against Pittsburgh was great. We may have exited the tournament earlier than we deserved to, but I think we gained a lot of respect along the way.
Now, onto the other bit of March Madness, the March Madness all of us wrestling fans know: WrestleMania. Every year, despite having a loaded card, some people get left off. A lot of fans are of the opinion that there should be fewer matches on the card and that only a select few should be on the Mania card. I’m not one of those people. If possible, I would like to see the entire roster involved somehow, if only in a pre-show Battle Royal. Over the years there have been matches that I wanted added to the Mania cards that just never got made. This week I’ll look back at those matches that should have been booked. My first WrestleMania was WrestleMania XV, but they managed to get everyone involved so I don’t have any issue with that show. Therefore, we will start out journey in Anaheim for WrestleMania 2000.
Mixed Tag Team Match: Mideon & Ivory vs. Essa Rios & Lita (WrestleMania 2000)
Now, I actually didn’t want this match included on the main WrestleMania broadcast. As you may remember this was the year that they had WrestleMania All-Day-Long (man I wish they’d bring that back) and I think they needed to include some matches on that broadcast. I wouldn’t have minded splitting this match into two with Mideon vs. Essa Rios and Lita vs. Ivory, but for the sake of simplifying things I’ll combine them here. You may recall that Mideon and Funaki had a bit of a mini-feud after Taka Michinoku was injured at the Royal Rumble. When Taka came back Mideon transferred his feud to Essa Rios. Lita was also on the rise as a Diva and this would be a good showcase for her. Plus, I just mark for Essa Rios.
Light Heavyweight Title Match: Crash© vs. Dean Malenko (WrestleMania X-Seven)
I believe Larry even agreed with me on this pick in his 3 R’s of WrestleMania X-Seven last year. Crash had just won the Light Heavyweight Title from Dean Malenko shortly before this show and they had some nice little matches on free TV. This was the only title not defended on this show and this may have been the most high profile match for the Light Heavyweight Title. Crash was over and Malenko was getting some more face time as a member of the Eddie-lead Radicalz, this could have been a nice addition to the greatest WrestleMania ever.
Hardcore Title, Fatal Four-Way Match: Maven© vs. Goldust vs. Al Snow vs. Big Show (WrestleMania X8)
This is the only match on this list that I’m still pissed off about. Maven was super over at this point as the likeable underdog, Al Snow was his mentor, Goldust was doing well since his return at the Royal Rumble, and Big Show was a freaking MAIN EVENTER. Oh, and all four ran an angle on the SmackDown before WrestleMania. So what do we get instead? Maven vs. Goldust for about 15 seconds before it turns into one of those typical 24/7 hardcore matches that stretches throughout the night. And Big Show, the actual main eventer of the group, is at WWF New York! He’s not even on the damn card! This was a horrible wasted opportunity as was most of this time period. I’ll have more on my complete overhaul of WrestleMania X8 next week.
Goldust vs. Scott Steiner (WrestleMania XIX)
This was probably more wishful thinking on my part. I’m pretty sure we would have had Scott Steiner & Goldust vs. Randy Orton & Batista had Orton and Batista not gotten injured on the way to Mania. With that match out the window, and the horrible booking of Scott Steiner, I would have had Steiner turn heel in the weeks leading up to Mania and setting up a match with the newly Tourettes-having Goldust. This could have set up a potential Booker-Steiner feud after Mania, a throwback to their WCW feud.
Christian vs. Test (WrestleMania XIX)
Christian was doing a great job as Chris Jericho’s lackey, so I wanted to throw him a bone here. Test was originally scheduled to feud with Jericho at No Way Out but was replaced by Jeff Hardy when he missed a show. Jericho and Test managed to have a mini-feud on Raw after No Way Out, but nothing too substantial. I would have let the two Canadians slug it out here as a nice warm up match. Perhaps they could have bumped the World Tag Team Title Match onto the main show and had this be on Heat, or maybe we could have had two matches on Heat (it’s happened before). In any event, I felt that Christian deserved to be part of the card.
Street Fight: Hulk Hogan vs. Shane McMahon (WrestleMania XX)
Part of me is happy that Hulk Hogan wasn’t a part of WrestleMania XX (the larger part), but part of me also thinks he should have been there. They had the perfect story for him to. All they had to do was play off Shane McMahon’s unscripted ringside visit following the Hogan-Vince match one year prior. Have Shane challenge Hogan to defend his family’s honor at the show his family created. Shane could have bumped around for Hogan much better than he could have if they had run this match this year, and I think the story would have been rather good. It’s no harm that this match wasn’t on the card but I think it could have been cool.
Hardcore Triple Threat Match: Test vs. Steven Richards vs. Lance Storm (WrestleMania XX)
Test and Steven had been feuding on Heat. In their “blowoff” match, which was a No Holds Barred affair, Lance Storm interfered and accidentally cost Richards the match. This was actually a pretty entertaining undercard feud and I would have liked to have seen it completed on the big stage. Since Storm and Val Venis would break up their team shortly after Mania he could even be added to make it a Four-Way or they could make it a tag match.
Six Man Tag Team Match: Hardcore Holly, Orlando Jordan, & Billy Gunn vs. Rhyno, A-Train, & Matt Morgan (WrestleMania XX)
Hardcore Holly, Rhyno, and A-Train were all featured performers at this time and yet they didn’t manage to find a spot on this card. Holly had also taken Orlando Jordan under his wing, and five of these men (minus Matt Morgan) had been feuding with one another on Velocity. Given the superstars in the match I don’t think it would have looked that out of place on an already stacked WrestleMania card. While I don’t remember the breakdown off the top of my head, Raw and SmackDown both had exactly ten superstars each that they could have put in a 20 Man Battle Royal at this show in place of this match.
Lita vs. Jazz (WrestleMania XX)
I would only have added this match to the card if they went with the Battle Royal instead of the Six Man Tag. This would have been a Dark Match but it would have featured the only two people not on this card. I think both of these women are good enough competitors that they would have been able to get the crowd amped up for the show.
Interpromotional Match: Eric Bischoff vs. Paul Heyman (WrestleMania XX)
I really am disappointed that they didn’t book this match for the show. Both men were GMs at the time, and they teased this matchup back at the Royal Rumble. It would have been cool to see the former head of ECW and the former head of WCW battling it out on the twentieth anniversary of WWE’s biggest show. They could have even had Vince McMahon referee the thing.
Cruiserweight Title Match [vacant]: Paul London vs. Akio (WrestleMania 21)
WrestleMania 21 at least managed to get everyone on the card with a big Battle Royal before the show. This match was more wishful thinking on my part. I really thought we would have seen Chavo Guerrero vs. Paul London for the Cruiserweight Title on this show had Chavo not gotten injured. As it was they managed to get the belt onto London a week before Mania by having Chavo lose it in a Battle Royal. I would have preferred to have them strip Chavo of the belt due to injury and then have London and Akio (present day Jimmy Wang Yang) battle it out for the vacant title. These two had been tearing shit up on Velocity and a WrestleMania payoff would have been really good. It’s not like their matches were that long anyhow on Velocity, so they wouldn’t have taken up that much room on the card.
World Tag Team Title Match: William Regal & Tajiri© vs. Ric Flair & Snitsky (WrestleMania 21)
At the time I had this reasoned out really well as to how they would get here. Unfortunately I don’t really remember how I did it. I know that Flair and Snitsky were kind of chummy around this time, so their alliance could be easily explained. I think a Flair/Snitsky team could be very similar to the Flair/Batista team that won the World Tag Team Titles twice. Regal and Flair would match up well from a technical standpoint and Tajiri would surely bump around like crazy for Snitsky.
United States Title Match: Orlando Jordan© vs. Booker T (WrestleMania 21)
If there was one match that needed to be booked for this show this one was it. Booker T was one of the top superstars on SmackDown and yet he didn’t have a match. Say what you will about OJ but as the new United States Champion he could have been the perfect opponent for Booker here. If they really wanted to they could have added Luther Reigns, Heidenreich, Mark Jindrak, Charlie Haas, and Hardcore Holly to make it a multi-man match and get more people involved, but a flat OJ-Booker match would have done just fine.
WWE Tag Team Title, Fatal Four-Way Match: MNM© vs. The Mexicools vs. Paul London & Brian Kendrick vs. The Gymni (WrestleMania 22)
For those of you that were reading my column last year around WrestleMania you know that I was advocating this match back then. The setup would be easy. You have three qualifying matches just like you had for the World Tag Team Title Match at WrestleMania XX. The Mexicools defeat the FBI to qualify, Paul London & Brian Kendrick defeat Kid Kash & Jamie Noble (this was before they were the Pitbulls), and the Gymni defeat Scotty 2 Hotty & Funaki. From a match standpoint the future Pitbulls would fit in much better than the Gymni, but the Gymni were in the midst of a push (or at least as much of a push as they got) at this point.
As it stands, I’m sure there will be matches left on the table this year. I doubt my Snitsky vs. Hardcore Holly vs. Balls Mahoney Extreme Rules Triple Threat Match will get booked, or my Chris Masters-Boogeyman Masterlock Challenge. And really, for all intents and purposed Mickie James vs. Victoria should at least be on the pre-show. I’ll be happy if they get the majority of the roster in the proposed Tag Team Battle Royal, so I look forward to seeing what they do in the next two weeks.
Andy! Andy! At Last You Have Some Feedback!
Angelo Velotta explains why TNA has killed his love of wrestling:
I have always been a big WWE fan but threw the years got tired of some of the stupidity, so for the past year I gave TNA a chance. They had me won over with things like the X-Division, and the lack of stupid angles, but then Vince Russo came in and everything changed. I put up with his antics for the past months but after watching Destination X last night, which me and my friends had to order late because TNA’s satellite feed was messing up, I have given up all hope for professional wrestling. Here is my analysis of what shouldn’t even be called a wrestling pay per view.
The first match of the night was LAX vs Team 3D again, and AGAIN not for the titles. That is just stupid. And again, it is a hardcore brawl just like last month, and again it is a botchfest with Team 3d refusing to sell. This match went too long and sucked, I give it 1/2 star.
Then there was the Double Bullrope Match and this just failed to interest anyone in the room so I give it 1/2 star.
Then there was VKM vs The Heart Breakers, and we all were interested to see how they would fare. But when you combine a dumb angle, Kip James absolutely REFUSING to sell, and The Heartbreakers botching some moves, this match sucked. 1/2 star.
Then there was Starr vs Senshi. This could have been an amazing match, however, I hate the stupid Bob Backlund angle. It’s dumb. TNA you have so many talented wrestlers such as Starr and Senshi, Lethal and Shelley, you don’t need any old timers clogging up your six minutes of free tv wrestling a week, or a $30 PPV. Nice suicide dive by Starr though. And if Starr is going to feud with Backlund, why did he lose? Thanks Russo for continous booking.
Then there was the match of the night, Sabin and Lynn. Sabin finally has some persona to go along with his skill, especially when hitting the dropkick, and Lynn came and delivered tonight. I wish the Team 3d-Lax Match didn’t go so long so the second fall could have been longer in this match, but oh well. I will give this match a strong 4 stars.
Then there was the turning point of the PPV. I told my friend Russo tricked him into ordering the PPV seeing 9 matches and 6of them supposably sweet ones. I told him Elevation X was a bad idea because it’s too dangerous, and there won’t be much wrestling. So what do we get in place of Ultimate X, which could have been sweet? We get the first ever Hide and Go Seek Affair on PPV! This match sucked and I give it 1/2 star.
Then, another dissapointment in Steiner-Angle. These guys just didn’t show up last night and it showed. Outside of Angle’s rolling Germans, nothing of note-EXCEPT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Angle won with a susnet flip?????? Steiner lost to joe by powerslam, and now Angle by sunset flip???? 1/2 star.
And then, I don’t care what anyone says this is the most defining moment in wrestling history since I saw my first ever match between Steamboat and Flair on WCW Saturday Night (which was sweet), and this new moment is the reason why I will not watch pro wrestling again. Sting vs. Abyss. Candlebras. Tombstones (not the Taker’s finisher), blue smoke and dimmed lights, a casket that Abyss had to wave his hands like a mother fucker to finally get lowered, and then ABYSS walks into the casket at one point! This was not only a bad match, but a complete an utter joke, and I’m not even going to review the main event because after reliving this moment I’m done. Thank you Vince Russo and TNA for being the biggest idiots ever, and don’t ever say “We are Wrestling” until you actually have some damn wrestling!
While I haven’t seen the show and while I did hear it get negative reviews, I believe you may have been a bit harsh on it. I’d would have been curious to hear your thoughts on the main event because I heard largely positive things about it. I’m glad Joe didn’t win because Joe needs to have his big moment come at one of their big three PPVs, and Destination X is not one of them. I predict a Joe victory at Slammiversary in a King of the Mountain Match against Christian Cage, Scott Steiner, Kurt Angle, and someone else (maybe a returning Jarrett?). I’ll admit I have lost a lot of my interest in TNA recently but I look forward to seeing what they do for Lockdown. Don’t worry though, if WWE actually follows through with their global branding TNA could very well be a thing of the past anyway.
500 Good Words w/ Matt Adamson
The mania of WrestleMania has hit me hard. When I went to write this today I wanted to do everything I could to avoid doing something geared toward WrestleMania. Too bad it’s impossible to do. My mind, as far as wrestling goes, is focused on the big show coming up in 2 weeks. Thoughts of record breaking crowds and title changes dance through my head like sugar plumbs do around Christmas (the truth is I’ve never even seen a sugar plumb). With that in mind I thought I’d give my opinion on what I’m personally hoping to see happen at this years WrestleMania.
With what looks to be three main events this year it’s tough to choose one to consider as my personal main event. Considering what’s on the line, I go with Undertaker vs. Batista. I know I haven’t really shared much regarding my opinions about many wrestlers in these little 500 word bits, so I’ll start easy and be blunt. Batista normally does very little for me. I’d even say that at times I’ve been afraid for the health and wellbeing of his opponents. I also tend to feel like I’m watching something in slow motion when he is in the ring. However, since he has entered into his feud against The Undertaker my interest in him as a performer has gone up considerably. The Undertaker I’ve always found to be tremendously entertaining and talented in all situations. What I’m looking forward to in this match is the surprise. I see neither guy winning the match in my head, and while I don’t expect the match to be classic, I’m hoping that The Undertaker keeps his streak alive. I also want to see him get one last title run.
The other major title match on the show will be John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels. While I’ve never been a huge fan of Cena’s, I find him to be very capable and smooth in the ring. He knows his way around it and he only goes as far as he is able. Michaels on the other hand is an experienced ring veteran that can make a match with just about anybody into something entertaining. He is swift and nearly flawless in the ring. The combination of these two men in the ring together on the biggest stage of them all is the recipe for something truly special. I expect good thing from this match quality wise, and I’m hoping for a Michaels win and a good solid title run to follow. This is my pick as match of the night.
Lastly we have the billionaire vs. billionaire match. A few weeks ago I went into detail about my thoughts on the angle and it’s build, which I think is still top notch, but what about the match? Umaga has shown he is able to hang with the best of them. Since his days in All Japan, Umaga (Jamal) has developed into quite the talented brawler. He plays his gimmick so well and is over with the fans. Bobby Lashley, while still green made a fan out of me when he jumped through a steel cage onto Umaga making for one of the greatest spots of the year. Regardless of who wins this match, I have a feeling the all the men involved are going to go all out and we are going to see something special. Then, when it’s all over, one of the billionaires is going to have their head shaved. No doubt this will make the WrestleMania highlight reel until the days of WrestleMania are over.
Well, there you have it. My expectations for this years WrestleMania. Any comments or questions? Send them to [email protected]. Don’t be a pansy, have a pink panty dropper and slur your drunken rage at me. Come on… BRING IT!
The Shimmy Likes It Raw!
What’s on tap for tonight’s big show? It’s WrestleMania reversal night!
And that wraps up another week of Shimminess. Next week the WrestleMania booking feature concludes with a look at what would have been had some of the WrestleMania main events been booked differently. It should be a fun column so I hope you all join me. Enjoy Raw tonight and I’ll see you next week. Until then, don’t die. Clark…out.
