wrestling / TV Reports
Csonka’s TNA One Night Only November 2016 Review
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Csonka’s TNA One Night Only November 2016 Review
OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Andrew Everett defeated Mandrews @ 9:30 via pin [**½]
– Jade defeated Sienna and Marti Bell @ 7:25 via pin [*¾]
– Tyrus defeated Trevor Lee @ 7:30 via pin [**½]
– DJZ, Robbie E & Jessie Godderz defeated Grado, Mahabali Shera & Eddie Edwards @ 8:13 via pin [DUD]
– Lashley defeated Bram @ 10:10 via pin [**]
– Moose defeated Eli Drake @ 9:25 via pin [**½]
– Gail Kim defeated Lauren Van Ness @ 8:32 via pin [*]
– James Storm defeated Bram @ 9:45 via pin [**½]
– Broken EC3 defeated Broken Matt Hardy @ 9:10 via pin [*½]
– Mathews and Pope rambled on about nothing, with Mathews adding, “This will be along three-hours.” Likely the most accurate thing he’s ever said.
Andrew Everett vs. Mandrews: They worked a slow and deliberate opening with Everett grounding Mandrews and working the arm. Mandrews escaped with a cartwheel, which led to a series of reversals and Everett being sent to the floor. Mandrews chased him around, and then back in hit a bulldog. Everett rolled to the floor, Mandrews charged for a dive but Everett rushed back and hit a springboard dropkick for a near fall. Everett choked out Mandrews in the ropes, Mandrews tried to fire back, avoided a charge and ran into a kick; Everett scored a near fall. Everett again grounded Mandrews, every time Mandrews fired up Everett would take him down or grab his hair and slam him to the mat. Mandrews finally scored with a jawbreaker, countered a sunset flip and hit the basement dropkick. Mandrews picked up the pacing a bit, hit the enziguri and then a double stomp. Charging knees in the corner connects for Mandrews and then a RANA off the ropes for a near fall. They worked to the floor, where Mandrews hit a moonsault off the steps. He rolled Everett back in, went up top, and then missed he shooting star press (he was delayed as Everett pulled the ref in the way to delay Mandrews). Everett then hit the spike RANA and picked up the win. Andrew Everett defeated Mandrews @ 9:30 via pin [**½] While not bad, this was disappointing. Mathews tried to sell you on it being “classic X-Division style,” but he was full of shit. This felt like they asked these guys to turn the volume down to about three, work slow and limit all of the cool things you guys can do. I was really excited for this, but they did next to nothing with the time given to them. They did holds, they worked a sloth like pace for 90% of the match and when it came time to kick things up a notch or five, they never did.
– Bell and Jade cut backstage promos, they both plan to win. In the ring, Bell then ranted about her issues with Sienna. Sienna grabbed the mic and says no one cares about her issues; she’s bigger, stronger and classier than both of her opponents. Jade says she has a problem with both of them, so they attacked her.
Jade vs. Sienna vs. Marti Bell: So Bell and Sienna worked over Jade at the beginning, with Bell teasing a dive and then begging off from Sienna and wanting to work together. Jade then cleared the ring with dropkicks to both, but they came at her from opposite sides and again beat her down. The crowd was behind Jade as Bell and Sienna continued a rather boring heat segment. Some boots, some back rakes, some strikes and of course chokes. Jade tried to work some leg kicks, but was cut off and choked out in the ropes. Sienna then told Bell to go up top, but it was a trick so that she could cover Jade. Sienna’s excuse was that, “I’m sorry, I fell.” That was funny. This of course led to Bell and Sienna’s partnership breaking down, Jade slammed them together and then made her comeback. Bell then saved Sienna, but Sienna hit her with a stunner; Jade hit a Rock bottom and then Bell hit a code read and everyone was down. We got some pinning attempts; Sienna hit the silencer on Bell and then Jade planted Sienna with the package piledriver for the win. Jade defeated Sienna and Marti Bell @ 7:25 via pin [*¾] This was unfortunately not very good. There was no fire, no sense of urgency and it was clunky as hell as they were more concerned with the Sienna/Bell dynamic than building to a great climax.
– Tyrus cuts a promo about having to face Trevor Lee tonight. Lee flies around and defies gravity, but he will have to come to the ground eventually. Tyrus then joked that his beard smelt of cabbage, and he was all black and looks as if he hadn’t been paid in months. Thanks for that Tyrus.
Tyrus vs. Trevor Lee w/Andrew Everett: Lee stalled a lot early, and then got in some hit and move on the big man and danced. Tyrus had enough of that shit and worked him over, slammed him to the mat and then dropped the elbow. Lee to the floor, Tyrus fought off both Lee and Everett until they managed to post him and Lee hit a PK off the apron. Lee hit the baseball slide dropkick and hoped for a countout. Tyrus rolled back in; Lee laid the boots to him and then attacked the knees to ground Tyrus. Lee’s heat felt awkward in a good way, as he was scrapping and doing anything he could to hit Tyrus and keep him down. Tyrus eventually fought back and hit an overhead suplex and corner splash. Everett caused a distraction, allowing Lee to hit a double stomp off the top for a near fall. Lee teased going for God’s last gift, Tyrus fought him off and hit the big ending. Tyrus then went for a splash, Everett grabbed his leg and Tyrus pulled him in the ring, where Lee accidentally took out his pal. Tyrus hit the heart punch for the win. Tyrus defeated Trevor Lee @ 7:30 via pin [**½] This was a solid outing, Tyrus sold when he needed to, they played the size difference well and the involvement from Everett came at the right time and of course, failed them in proper fashion.
– Jessie and Robbie spoke about a surprise for tonight, and issues with parties in the past and the police being involved. Robbie got upset because Jessie would not reveal the surprise.
– The big surprise was that they were reuniting with DJZ tonight. They cut a long promo about partying, which led to Grado arriving and saying that he can out party them. Grado wants to be a BroMan, and then we got a bunch of jokes from the BroMans, they even insulted the fanny pack. Grado danced and then Shera arrived and danced. My God someone gave him a mic, and he wants to be a BroMan. They refused because they have never been tag team champions. Eddie Edwards arrived, noting that he is a five-time tag team champion. Edwards says he is down to party and become a “drunky monkey.” Fucks sake this is bad. Edwards then challenged them to a six-man match, and then said that they can party afterwards. And if they win, the BroMans will have to pay the bar tab.
DJZ, Robbie E & Jessie Godderz w/Raquel vs. Grado, Mahabali Shera & Eddie Edwards: Edwards and Godderz to begin, they went back and forth with Godderz press slamming Edwards. Shera tagged in, they did power spots and Shera escaped a full nelson. Godderz then worked the arm, but Shera sent him to the corner and hit a clothesline. Godderz fired back with the dropkick and went for the Adonis clock but Shera fought out and tagged in Grado. Robbie and Grado in now, they teased throwing strikes and did a stare down and hugged. Robbie attacked and beat down Grado, tagged DJZ in but he couldn’t lift Grado, because he’s fat you see. DJZ then danced and Grado pulled down his trunks. Grado worked him over with jabs as his pants were still down. The BroMans cut him off and celebrated, everyone in now and we got a triple atomic drop spot on the BroMans. They then did a West Side story snap off and circled, and everyone celebrated before running into each other and everyone was down. DJZ and Robbie hit RANAs, and everyone hit a RANA. Raquel in, RANA on Grado. BroDown on Grado and this was thankfully the end. DJZ, Robbie E & Jessie Godderz defeated Grado, Mahabali Shera & Eddie Edwards @ 8:13 via pin [DUD] This was absolutely horrible, with the attempts at comedy failing on every level.
– Tyrus spoke about his victory. He says he’s back.
– Eli Drake cut a promo about his match with Moose. He says Moose has a lisp and he will fix it tonight when he hits blunt force trauma.
– Bram cuts a promo, discussing his accomplishments in TNA, noting wins over Abyss, Matt Morgan and Vader. But to be the best he wants to beat the best, and calls out Lashley. Bram wants to die. Lashley’s music hit and he made his way out.
Lashley vs. Bram: They went back and forth, with Lashley using his power to take Bram down. Lashley then used his amateur takedowns to get Bram off his feet, Bram fought back with strikes but then ran into a clothesline Lashley then used his speed to avoid Bram, and hit a powerslam. Bram rolled to the floor, and dared Lashley to follow. Lashley did, Bram then rushed back into the ring and hit a baseball slide dropkick. We then got good old walk and brawl Bram as they worked on the floor. Bram slammed him to the barricades, and then to the steps. Bram is working the slowest offense ever here; there is no intensity to it at all. Just slow strikes and standing around. Back in the ring goes Bram, Lashley then drags him to the floor and hits a flatliner. Lashley took control, slamming Bram to the apron back first and then into the steps. Lashley then laid the boots to him and then continued the slow walk and brawl around the ring. Back in and Bram hit a back elbow and then forearm strikes. The big knee followed and Lashley kicked out at 2. Lashley countered the DDT, but Bram hi the Edge-a-cution for a near fall. Lashley missed the spear and posted himself, Bram hit a spin kick and Lashley countered the DDT again, hit the spear and won. Lashley defeated Bram @ 10:10 via pin [**] You know when you don’t see a guy for a while, and he returns and you appreciate him because he was realty good? That wasn’t Bram. They managed to work a match that took away all the great things that Lashley brings to the table (intensity, bad assery and a sense of urgency) and worked the two-star walk and brawl Bram special. It was a long and boring 10-minutes.
– Moose cut a promo; he plans to beat Eli Drake.
– Eli Drake then arrived and said his name several times, very slowly. He also repeated himself several times, because that’s what he does but it came off tired here. You may be shocked at this, but he called Moose a “dummy.” Yeah.
Moose vs. Eli Drake: Drake stalled to begin, Moose then teased punching him but instead backed off and did the Moose fist pump. Drake scored with a cheap shot, Moose then caught Drake on a leapfrog try and hit the sack of shit slam. Drake cut him ff again, slammed him to the corner a few times and then hit the neck breaker. Drake then sent Moose to the floor, Moose hit ahead butt but Drake then slammed him to the steps. Drake then choked him out in the ropes, sent Moose to the mat and laid in some elbow drops and covered for two. Moose fired up, laid in chops to Drake, but Drake hit the float over DDT for a near fall. Drake is keeping it basic with chokes and eye rakes along with the various versions of clubbering. It’s perfectly fine, but he lacks intensity. Moose tried to fight back, but Drake countered a bicycle kick and hit the powerbomb for 2. Drake then ht the springboard missile dropkick, but only got 2. Drake calls for blunt force trauma, but Moose suplexed him to the corner, which got 2. Drake avoided the game changer, but Moose connected with jabs, Drake then countered with jabs but then ate the dropkick. Game changer by Moose and that is that. Moose defeated Eli Drake @ 9:25 via pin [**½] This was an average match; the flat middle/heat being heatless, rather uninspired and lacking any real intensity hurt it. The ending stretch was quality and I enjoyed it, but the middle needed more of that vibe.
– Lahsley put over Bram as a “tough SOB” and he knows he can’t take nights off.
– We then see video of Gail Kim’s hall of fame announcement.
Gail Kim vs. Lauren Van Ness: Van Ness cut a pre-match promo, running down Kim for not having he looks and designed apparel. As Van Ness tried to say how much more beautiful she was as compared to Kim, the crowd chanted “butter face” and “kill the mic.” Van Ness then said if Kim walked away her daddy would make a donation to her favorite charity. The crowd then chanted “boring,” and was the loudest chant of the nice. Kim said she believed in giving back and laid down for Van Ness, but then Kim rolled her up for 2. That wasted nearly three-minutes. And as if it wasn’t bad rough, Kim had to get on the mic to tell her she lied. Van Ness back in and Kim worked her over and tossed her to the floor. Kim tossed her back in, slapped her around and Van Ness finally cut her off with a boot to the gut. Van Ness then slammed Kim’s head to the mat repeatedly, and then laid in forearm strikes. Van Ness took the heat, working a body scissors. Mathews droned on about the Van Ness fortune and their family shipping business, ignoring the in ring as usual. Van Ness missed the missile dropkick, landed on her feet and rolled through and then hit a spear for the double down. Kim fired up with rights and then a clothesline and side slam for a near fall. Kim then missed the high cross, Van Ness covered and grabbed the ropes, but the ref saw it. Van Ness then tried to bribe Van Ness, and Kim riled her up for the pin. Hebner took the money and ran. Gail Kim defeated Lauren Van Ness @ 8:32 via pin [*] This was another rough outing for the ladies, as they killed the crowd with the pre-match stuff. From there, it was too much about Van Ness’ rich girl gimmick and not about a match. Can’t they just wrestle?
– Moose says he is one of the best wrestlers in the world and he proved that by beating Drake.
– Bram then said he called out Lahsley and stood up to him. he plans to call someone else out.
– Bram then called out James Storm, because he wants competition.
James Storm vs. Bram: Lock up to begin, Bram looked to work the arm but Storm escaped. They did a few standing switches, Storm hit the boot to the gut but Bram hit the back elbow and sent Storm to the floor. More walk and brawl Bram, Storm fought back and then drove the boozer cruiser but Bram ran away before he could hit him. Bram took control, and he drove the boozer cruiser but Storm stopped him by yelling at him. They drank beers and Storm misted him. Back in the ring and Storm hit sling blade, Storm followed with a slingshot splash and covered for 2. An atomic drop followed, and Storm covered for 2. The crowd chanted for them to drink more beer, showing their investment in the action as Bram fired back with rights and a knee strike for 2. Bram then hit a high cross for 2. Bram back up top, Storm cut him off and followed. Storm kneed him in the head and hit the RANA. Storm up top, elbow drop hits and that got 2. Bram fought off the eye of the storm, but Storm hit the back stabber and then the eye of the storm for 2. Storm then ht the lung blower, but Bram caught him with a powerbomb for 2. They did the double down, got to their feet and traded strikes. Superkick by Storm and that’s that. James Storm defeated Bram @ 9:45 via pin [**½] This was another average match, but they never got the crowd into it and while it picked up near the end, it never got out of second gear.
– We get highlights from earlier in the show.
EC3 dared Matt to bring King Maxel, Vanguard1, Senor Benjamin, Skarsgard the dilapidated boat and the whole broken family, because he is ready and has something… delightful for him in mind.
– James Storm says he is here to pass along his knowledge to guys like Bram. You have to take an ass whoopin to give one.
– Borash announced this as the “Against All Odds” main event. So, not “November 2016?” EC3 looked confused at the sight of Broken Matt. Matt then announced EC3 as the man coming from the genes of the Caters, the third version of Carter and the man he defeated for the TNA Title, and noted that he stole Rockstar Spud and Tyrus from him. He did all these things when he was merely a mortal, prior to his broken brilliance. Matt says he is a god like being. DELIGHTFUL. EC3 wanted to return the favor, but he is scared for his life. EC3 is afraid that Vanguard1 could arrive and take him out or that Skarsgard the dilapidated boat could fall from the heavens and crush him. He even says Senor Benjamin could be hiding waiting to chop him up with a chainsaw. EC3 says he can’t win, but knows a man who can and goes backstage. We then get an altered/slowed version of EC3 ‘s music and BROKEN EC3 is here. He’s from “Brokenraton Florida!” Splendid. This has been the best thing on the whole show. Not a tremendous accomplishment, but I like it.
Broken EC3 vs. Broken Matt Hardy: EC3 has the wacky jacket on and a white streak in his hair. They mirrored each other to start the match as Matt was perplexed. Brian Henber’s face was priceless as he had to watch this. They worked a test of strength, Matt bit EC3’s hand so EC3 bit him back. They traded strikes as Matt then slammed EC3 to the corner and apron as he chanted delete. Back in, Matt hit an elbow off the second rope and then another. The third connected and then the twist of fate was countered and they did a double down. They then did Undertaker sit-ups, traded rights and then EC3 avoided a charge and hit a double axe handle off the ropes, a second then Matt countered the third, and we then got a ref bump. TKO by EC3 followed. Matt and sat up again, but so did the ref. They traded rights again, side effect by Matt and that got 2. EC3 then convulsed and moaned like Matt, so Matt bit his hand and hit the twist of fate for 2. EC3 then bit Matt’s hand and ear, one percenter hits and that only got 2. EC3 hit a chokeslam and then did the Undertaker cover for 2. Head butts by Matt, EC3 counters the twist of fate into a roll up and that was the end. Broken EC3 defeated Broken Matt Hardy @ 9:10 via pin [*½] The Broken EC3 thing was funny and early on was ok, but it overstayed its welcome and as a result the match was bad. I generally really like the Broken Matt stuff, but this version of it relied way too much on comedy, and after a few minutes cost its charm and when it was gone, only bad wrestling remained.
– Matt says that it is arousing to see another him. He asks Broken Brother Ethan when he got his broken condition. EC3 says he is pretty normal, but that Matt is a weird ass dude and left.
– End scene.
– Thanks for reading.
