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Dark Pegasus Video Review: The Self-Destruction Of The Ultimate Warrior
The Self-Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior DVD Review.
The Birth of the Dingo Warrior:
Jim Ross talks about everyone being big in the 1980s. HOSSES! BY GAWD! Jerry Lawler relates the origins of the Warrior’s career with Sting as Powerteam USA (later “The Blade Runners”) in Memphis. They looked great, but they were very green, and so they couldn’t really contribute at the time. They left for Bill Watts’ UWF not long after and were managed by Eddie Gilbert. Warrior, of course, flaked out because Steve Williams hit him with a stiff clothesline to teach him a lesson. He wound up taking Sting with him, but Bill Watts tracked Sting down and brought him back to pair up with Rick Steiner. Warrior went on to Fritz Von Erich’s WCCW and became “The Dingo Warrior.” Vince says he seemed to have a lot of heart and put him on the “third-level card.” He even started out as the Dingo Warrior in the WWF. Everyone says that he had a great body.
The Birth of the Ultimate Warrior:
Both Vince and Jim Helwig agreed that “the Dingo Warrior” was a really stupid name. That’s probably why this isn’t a WCCW Home Video Release. Instead, Vince sat around his office thinking, “Well, he’s bigger than the Road Warriors, he’s bigger than the Modern Day Warrior…HE’S THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR!” Or they just ripped off Bad News Allen, which doesn’t get mentioned. Ultimate Warrior, of course, got over in a hurry. We see clips of him kicking ass. He was still green, though, as Steve Lombardi points out.
The Entrance
Chris Jericho and Christian both dig the entrance. The music, the running, the rope shaking, it’s all good. Ross puts over Jim Johnston for coming up with the music. Of course, by the time he got to the ring, he was blown up.
Hercules Hernandez
The Warrior actually gives a coherent interview (for him). Of course, they have to bleep out WWF. Ted Dibiase says that, although Herc was a better wrestler, Warrior and Herc had some bad matches. Jim Ross says the same thing. Unfortunately, he does not work in “bowling shoe.” Dibiase says Warrior couldn’t work without someone to guide him.
The Weasel
A feud with Bobby Heenan led to a “Weasel Suit” match. Bobby wanted Hogan, but the Warrior was over, so he didn’t have a problem with doing the match with him. Bobby says the Warrior rushed everything too much and wouldn’t listen. We see the aftermath of Bobby trying to get out of the suit. Bobby was such a trooper.
Parts Unknown
Everyone makes fun of “Parts Unknown.” Christian says that it’s where the “foreign objects” come from. Everyone from Jericho to Okerlund offers thoughts on where exactly it is. Lawler explains the psychology of being from “Parts Unknown” rather than being from Los Angeles or Des Moines – it adds mystery to the character. Everyone tries to lay “Parts Unknown” off on the Warrior as him being nuts. I have to agree on this one. Sure, others like the Blue Blazer and Demolition have also hailed from “Parts Unknown,” but no one adopted it in their promos quite like the Warrior.
The Intercontinental Championship
Everyone puts over the Honkytonk Man. HTM was the longest reigning Intercontinental Champion to that point (and still holds the record). Honky’s opponent, Brutus Beefcake, was injured by Ron Bass (in storyline terms), so Warrior took his place. We see the entire match where Warrior defeats Honky for the title. Everyone thinks that was the real coming out party for the Warrior.
The Ultimate Warrior’s Stock Rises
Ross talks about Warrior having a lot of high impact moves to get him over (see also Batista, Dave). Vince talks about people gravitating to the Warrior’s rebelliousness, which is what they say about everyone who gets over.
Unique Interviews
Uh…I’ll just give you some examples. One of these is from Jim Helwig (or Warrior) and the others are actual Ultimate Warrior promos. See if you can tell which is which.
A) “I can smell it…it is in the air…the cosmic powers of Mars…the clouds of Jupiter…the rings of Saturn…the boiling heat of Mercury. Something’s gonna happen, Warriors. I can feel it. Warriors, I need not Earthquake insurance. I need not health insurance. I will never need life insurance. For the Warriors all know, the life that flows in their body IS NOT THAT OF THE NORMALS. The marrow in these bones is of a different composition. The blood in these veins is of a different consistency. The brain waves in my mind are of an unknown frequency. The muscles that the Warriors attract themselves to is of a different structure. Not even you Dino Bravo… not even you Jimmy Hart…not even a natural disaster, can stop me, as I take the Warriors and fulfill the Ultimate Destiny.”B) “If they refuse to understand that the power of the Ultimate Warrior has spread like a virus through the WWF then let them continue to walk as normal as they seem. But if those twenty eight normal men want to have special attractions such as the Royal Rumble then you and I as the Warrior’s, the most powerful force in the WWF, will continue to see it only as another challenge, only as another day of combat. Twenty eight of those normal men stacked one on top of another can’t come close to the billions and the destinations from parts unknown. You realize, as I do, that the twenty ninth man, you Hulk Hogan, walk with a different forcefield around you, walk on horizons that are close to where I’ve been. But no one in the Royal Rumble shall form a team. Every man will fight for what he feels is within himself. And I, the Ultimate Warrior, will fulfill another destiny.”
C) “You are nothing but a normal, you don’t deserve to breathe the same air that I and Hulk Hogan do. Hulk Hogan, I must ask you now as you asked me, do you Hulk Hogan want your ideas, your beliefs to live forever? For Hulk Hogan in this normal world, physically none of us can live forever. But the places you have taken the Hulkamaniacs, the ideas and beliefs that you have given them can live through me Hulk Hogan. That is why I breathe, that is why the Warriors have come. Hulk Hogan there are ones that question where you are taking them. Do you no longer want to walk or step into that darkness? Hulk Hogan that darkness I speak of is nothing of fear. It is about the beliefs…of excepting any and all challenges at the cost of losing everything Hulk Hogan. You have lived Hulk Hogan for the last 5 Wrestlemania’s for this one belief. Now Hulk Hogan, I come to take what you believe in, further then you ever could. I come Hulk Hogan, not to destroy the Hulkamaniacs and Hulkamania. I come Hulk Hogan to bring the Warriors and Hulkamaniacs together as one as we Hulk Hogan except all the challenges with all the strength of the Warriors and Hulkamaniacs together. Hulk Hogan the colors of the Hulkamaniacs are coming through the pores of my skin…and Hulk Hogan when we meet Hulk Hogan, I will look at you and you will realize then that I have come to do no one no harm, but only Hulk Hogan to take what we both believe in to places it shall never have been.”
D) “And as we are witnessing, neither will the laws work. Laws, mind you, intended to secure civilization. Not that that means anything to those queers and liberals and queer liberals breaking them. Whatever the rationalizations and excuses to ill-justify an unjust ruse, those queers and liberals and queer liberals breaking the laws are criminals, pure and simple. Laws make most kooks think a second or two about the consequences, not queers and liberals and queer liberal kooks though, their panties really get in a wad. Just think if there were no laws. Acting like there are not and getting away with it is the same damn thing. To sustain civilization, toleration of lawbreaking will not work. Even if they are not queers and liberals and queer liberals. Certainly this paragraph makes its point.”
Rick Rude
Everyone says Rick Rude was incredibly helpful and patient with the Ultimate Warrior and credits him for finally settling down the Warrior and getting him to wrestle like a semi-professional. We see Rude (with help from Bobby Heenan) wresting away the Intercontinental Title from the Warrior. Heenan talks about the botched press slam after the Mania V match.
Andre the Giant
Andre, however, was one who would not put up with unprofessional. Heenan tells a story about Andre teaching the Warrior to slow down by holding out his fist. Everyone does a lot of speculating about how Andre felt about him. Dibiase says it made him sick to see Andre jobbing to a guy who didn’t appreciate it.
Hulk Hogan
Torch-passing time. Sort of. Warrior and Hogan wound up in the ring alone together at the Royal Rumble. Hogan “accidentally” eliminates the Warrior while trying to throw out Rude and the Barbarian. Warrior really should have been allowed to go over here to set up the Mania match. That set up an Intercontinental Title versus World Title match for the first time ever.
WrestleMania VI
Everyone expected the Hogan/Warrior match to elevate the Warrior to Hogan status, but it didn’t work out like that, at least not permanently. Dibiase and Lawler talk about having two babyfaces in such a big match. Edge says that you didn’t know who was going to win. We see the fabled finish. Edge says he couldn’t be a fan of the Warrior because he beat Hogan cleanly. Hogan gloats because Warrior didn’t get as over as he did. Then his ego nearly knocks the camera over.
The Ultimate Warrior World, Heavyweight Champion
Warrior shot out of the gates as World Champion. That led to a series of matches with Ted Dibiase. Dibiase says they had the best matches they could. We see footage from the last Main Event where Warrior is about to beat Dibiase, but Virgil and Randy Savage interfere.
The Macho King
Speaking of bizarre promos…Lawler says neither one of them made sense. It was just fun to listen to them. Hogan talks about Savage meticulously writing out every detail of the match so that it would be a classic. Damned if it wasn’t. In fact, it’s one of my personal favorites.
Sgt. Slaughter
We go back a bit to Warrior losing the title to Iraqi-sympathizer Sgt. Slaughter. Slaughter talks about trying to “tame” the Warrior like a wild horse. I think we all learned from Robert Redford that you have whisper.
Summerslam 1991 Controversy
Hogan and Slaughter talk about what a great storyline they had set up. Warrior decided to hold them hostage by demanding a huge payoff or else he wouldn’t show for the main event. Hogan wanted to have Slaughter and Sheik break Warrior’s leg, but Vince stepped in and paid up at the last minute…and fired him. (Or, if you believe old RSPW lore, shot him in the back of the head and replaced him at WrestleMania VIII See below.) Vince paid the Warrior what he said he would because Vince is a man of his word. Everyone runs down the Warrior for his actions. Vince does get points here for correct use of the word “figuratively.”
A Second Chance
Of course, no one is fuller of second chances than Vince McMahon. The Warrior returned at WrestleMania VIII and saved Hogan from a beatdown. Even Dibiase couldn’t believe it. Vince says, for the third or fourth time, he has a responsibility to the audience.
A Different Ultimate Warrior
Bruce Pritchard brings up the “fake Ultimate Warrior” controversy. Everyone dispels that pretty quickly. Perhaps because they’re in on it?!!!
The Ultimate Warrior’s Second Return
Was Warrior punishes on his return? Hard to say. He was placed in a feud with Papa Shango (the Godfather). Shango placed a curse on the Warrior, the two best segments of which we see. JR calls it “not an artistic success.” Okerlund says it was a great feud, but a horrible series of matches. Ross explains Warrior didn’t have it from bell-to-bell, so they had to do things like that. Of course, none of it was Papa Shango’s fault. Pritchard dispels rumors that the Warrior disappeared again because he was supposed to face Nailz. Vince says it was due to the WWE’s stringent drug policy…okay.
The Name Change
In 1993, Jim Helwig changed his legal name to “Warrior.” Vince says that he tried to do it to get around Vince’s intellectual property rights. Everyone makes fun of him and feels a little sorry for him being so clearly disturbed.
Easter Egg Alert!: Highlight “The Name Game” and press “LEFT” twice. You’ll see a heart-warming “Way of the Warrior” promo.
The Ultimate Warrior Returns…Again
But, of course, Vince is nothing if not forgiving. Warrior came back in 1996…yawn. No one cared because guys like Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart had busted their asses for the previous three years. Lombardi says the initial buzz was strong, but people had moved on. Triple H talks about getting squashed by the Warrior. HHH also says the Ultimate Warrior is the most unprofessional man he’s ever stepped in the ring with. We see virtually the entire match. Pedigree, no-sell, clothesline, press slam, splash.
They move on to the Lawler/Warrior feud. Jerry painted a beautiful portrait as a peace offering. Warrior had to go and screw up the segment by wearing a baseball cap. Well, he really does look like a complete tool. JR says Warrior started missing dates again. That’s when Gorilla suspends the Ultimate Warrior pending an appearance bond. Vince no-sells Warrior’s excuse of his dad dying.
The Lawsuit
All this led to the lawsuit over the name “the Ultimate Warrior.” Dibiase says he wasn’t surprised, though. Heenan wonders what Warrior would be doing without wrestling. “THE FRIES BURN IN THE OIL OF THEIR OWN PETULANCE! THEY WILL NOT SATIATE YOUR HUNGER WITHOUT THE MCGRIDDLE SANDWICH…ONLY $3.00 MOORRRRRRRRREE!!!!”
WCW
Hogan wound up with a tape of the Warrior and the Dingo Warrior teaming up in some Podunk high school gym. Hogan and Jimmy Hart brought in that man Renegade to clone the Warrior. Bischoff calls it a bad attempt. No shit. That led to the real Warrior showing up in WCW three years later trying to recapture that same magic. Bischoff says it seemed like a good idea at the time. Hogan lays down the law and says you never, ever, EVER mention that you beat Hulk Hogan. And then his ego collapses the building and devours it.
Okay. Have to stop here. Hogan calls it the ultimate no-no for Warrior to mention he’s beat him before, and he says it like it’s some kind of no-brainer, but it happens all the time (Austin/Rock, Bret/Shawn…uh…HOGAN/ANDRE!). I think Hogan kind of…I don’t know…made up this rule…maybe…to satisfy his own egomania.
In fact, Warrior mentioning it is the only way the feud could have worked. Hogan’s on top. No one can beat him. He’s got a crew of guys to protect him. Flair can’t beat him. Sting can’t beat him (for long). Luger can’t do it. Who is the one person that has beaten Hogan without getting beaten in return? The Ultimate Warrior.
Of course, Warrior went on and on and on, saying nothing. Hogan thinks Vince was laughing his ass off at home.
WCW Halloween Havoc
Bisch poo-poos talk that they brought in the Warrior just to return the job to Hogan. He says people who say that are just “drinking their own Kool-Aid.” Uh, did you just read the last section? Okay, let’s say that it’s true. Then the only other explanation is that Bischoff was suffering from such grand mal shitheadedness that he didn’t know that the Ultimate Warrior was spent long before he signed with WCW…or the WWE 2 years earlier…or the WWE 6 years earlier.
Just to show how hypocritical Hogan is about the whole “mentioning the loss thing,” we hear Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan using it on commentary to put over the whole reason for having the match.
To their credit, Bischoff and Hogan take credit for Hogan vs. Warrior II being one of the worst matches of all time. Hogan accidentally lit a fireball in his own face. Oops. Now whutcha gonna do? Lots of kayfabe being broken here. Bischoff earns my respect for being able to denigrate Hogan while verbally blowing him by saying Hogan is one of the greatest, charismatic wrestlers of all time, but he needs some one to…say it Bisch…SAY IT…to…to “compliment his style.” You pussy. “Carry him” was the phrase we were looking for. “Carry him.” Somehow, Bisch manages to blame the Warrior for not carrying Hogan. Horace Hogan comes in and costs Warrior the match.
The Ultimate Warrior Leaves WCW
Bisch and Hogan talk about how they wanted to make a long-term investment in the Warrior…which was supposed to start out with him jobbing in his first big match? Warrior wanted Hogan-type money, though. Okerlund credits all Warrior’s success to Vince. Everyone makes fun of Warrior’s lecture circuit.
The Ultimate Warrior Legacy
So what have we learned from today’s little foray? No one likes him. He’s selfish. Heenan thinks Warrior just came out of the gym one day and wanted to be a wrestler. Most of “the boys” think he was just a flash-in-the-pan. Christian & Jericho think he was a little better than he gets credit for.
Extras:
This would be the Warrior’s TV debut. He’s not quite as wild as he eventually became and doesn’t have his music. Gibbs tries a shoulderblock and just bounces off. Warrior goes to work with a wristlock. That’s more of a wrestling move than I’ve seen a lot of the newer muscle-bound freaks in the WWE use. Warrior finishes with the press slam and the splash at 2:00. Typical “Wrestling Challenge” squash. 1/4*
Honky beat beloved Ricky Steamboat for the IC title and spent the next year plus ducking every major challenger that he could, and getting disqualified or counted out whenever possible. Brutus is injured, of course, so Honky asks for someone…anyone to come out and fight him for the belt. And he doesn’t care who it is! Suddenly, the Ultimate Warrior answers the call and finishes Honky off with a clothesline and splash in exactly :30. 1/4*
Gargantuan staredown to start. They take turns shoving each other to the corners. Warrior calls for a test of strength. Warrior wins the first round to a HUGE pop, forcing Hogan to his knees. Hogan powers up and forces Warrior down. Crowd cheers for that too. Warrior forces his way back up. Neither man moves off a shoulderblock. They crisscross, and Hogan gets a slam. Warrior no-sells and calls on the power of the warriors. They do it again, and Warrior gets a slam. Warrior clotheslines Hogan over the top, injuring Hogan’s knee. Warrior goes out and stomps on it. He shoves Hogan back in, and they start raking each other’s eyes. Hogan attacks while the Warrior is arguing with the ref. Hogan gets some mounted punches in the corner. Hogan drops an elbow and applies a facelock. That segues to a small package for two. Hogan, with a clothesline, gets two. A backbreaker gets two. Hogan slaps on a chinlock. Very loose there, probably so Warrior can catch his wind. Hulk gets two off a backdrop suplex and goes back to the chinlock. Warrior elbows out of it, and they double clothesline each other. They tease a double countdown, before the Warrior makes it to the ropes. Hogan starts pounding on him, but Warrior no-sells. Warrior begins to dominate. Clothesline. Clothesline. Clothesline. Whip to the buckle. Whip to the buckle. He snaps Hogan over with a suplex for two. Warrior settles down with a bearhug. Hogan fades but fights out of it. Hogan drops down as Warrior charges, and Warrior accidentally knocks out Hebner. Warrior delivers a pair of double ax-handles off the top. He charges, but Hogan spikes his face down into the mat on a diving shoulderblock. Hogan covers, but the ref is still out. Warrior backdrop suplexes Hogan. Hebner…crawls…over. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO!!! Hogan schoolboys Warrior, but Hebner is out of position. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! A reverse elbow sends the Warrior to the floor. Back in, Warrior clotheslines him and delivers the PRESS SLAM! SPLASH! ONE, TWO, THRE-NOOOO!!!! Hogan kicks out! He Hulks up and delivers the big boot. The leg drop MISSES! Warrior with the splash. ONE, TWO, THREE!! (22:53) Amazing effort from both guys. Smartly booked and historic. This was Hogan’s first (and arguably only) attempt at putting over a new man for the WWF. It didn’t work in the long run, and that’s probably one of the reasons he’s rarely done it since. But for this one night, it’s great to see Hogan surrender the spotlight to the next generation of babyface. ****
This is pinfall or escape rules. Rude crawls up on the cage and dares him to come up…so the Warrior DOES! They fight on the top, and Rude falls back into the ring. Warrior drops a double ax-handle. Rude goes facefirst into the cage a few times but ducks out of the way of a Warrior charge. Rude pounds on him for a while until Warrior swings back, prompting a slugfest. Rude rakes Warrior’s face along the cage. Warrior powers out of the Rude Awakening, but Rude gets his knees up to block the Warrior’s splash. Rude drops him with the Rude Awakening, but decides to get a fistdrop off the top of the cage instead of listening to Bobby and leaving the cage. He tries it again, but Warrior catches him with a fist to the gut. Warrior crawls for the door, but Heenan slams the door on his head. Rude gets two. Warrior and Rude collide. Rude crawls for the door with help from Heenan. Warrior pulls Rude’s tights down, pulling Heenan into the cage as well. Heenan takes a big bump off a roundhouse and falls to the outside after an atomic drop. Rude attacks Warrior from behind, but Warrior comes back with a pair of clotheslines. The press slam plants Rude in place. Warrior scales the cage and drops down on the outside to retain at 10:04. Boring match that felt like your average top of the hour Raw match rather than the main event at the second biggest PPV of the year. 3/4*
Bobby points out Miss Elizabeth in the crowd. Lots of preening to start. Savage tries a shoulderblock but just bounces off him. Sherri distracts Warrior long enough for Savage to attack from behind. Warrior shrugs him off and levels him with a clothesline. Warrior delivers a pair of atomic drops and a chokelift. Sherri tries to break it up, so Warrior throws Savage into her. Savage gets tied in the ropes and takes a few shots. Savage goes up and gets caught. Warrior sets him down in his feet and slaps him in the face. RUDO WARRIOR~! Savage brings in a chair to distract the referee. Warrior again no-sells and stomps a mudhole on Savage in the corner. Finally, Warrior misses a charge and goes over the top rope. Sherri slaps him in the face for good measure. Savage comes out with a double ax-handle. Sherri starts raking Warrior’s back, so he pushes her down. Savage jumps him from behind. Back in, Savage gets two off a kneedrop. Warrior counters a snapmare to a backslide for two. Savage spits at him. Warrior tries a flying shoulderblock, but Savage spikes his face to the mat. Savage with the sleeper. Warrior elbows out of it, and they clothesline each other. Warrior counters a slam to a small package. Sherri’s got the ref distracted, though! Crowd is pissed at Earl Hebner. Savage knees Warrior into Hebner. Sherri and Mach try to doubleteam Warrior, but Sherri accidentally hits her own man with her high heel. Oops. The Warrior stalks her around the ring but gets schoolboyed for two. Savage hotshots him and necksnaps him on the top rope. ELBOW DROP! That’s not enough, though. Savage wants to KILL him. He goes up and drops FOUR MORE ELBOWS! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Warrior kicks out of five elbow drops! Macho King can’t believe it. FOKE WARRIOR! FOKE! Warrior hulks up and delivers a series of clotheslines. PRESS SLAM! SPLASH! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Savage kicks out! Crowd is going crazy. Warrior is already crazy, so he gets some advice from Lofor, God of the Arena Ceiling. Savage blindsides him while Warrior feels the rapture. Sherri holds Warrior’s neck over the railing while Savage attempts a double ax-handle. Warrior shrugs her off, and Savage winds up hitting his face on the railing. Back in, a shoulderblock sends Savage back out. Warrior retrieves him and knocks him right back out again. And again! Warrior pulls him back in and casually pins him with a boot to the chest at 20:47. Probably the second best-booked match in Mania history behind Hart-Austin at WM13. ****1/2
Lawler talks about wrestling Helwig (probably as Blade Runner Rock) in Louisville, KY. Lawler says Warrior held Lawler’s legs apart and then leg dropped them. Lawler says he had to be carried from the ring, and it’s one of the last matches the Blade Runners had in the territory. Actually, it sounds like a typical Jeff Hardy move.
A WWE promo for “Warrior University” where you too can learn how to pump stuff up your butt and be a champ. Vince talks about taking a walk through the “Warrior University” and all the crazy Warrior-isms that adorned the gym. Vince jokes that no one ever graduated.
Christian does a Warrior impression. No, not by balking at Vince’s contract offer and jumping to the competition because he’s overestimated his own worth. See, I’m one step ahead of you there.
Dibiase talks about being at an autograph signing, but the Warrior knew that Steve Borden (Sting, his former partner) would be there. Warrior demanded that he sign autographs alone, away from Dibiase and Sting.
Final Thoughts: Seeing as how I’m reviewing this a month or so after its release, I have the benefit of seeing a lot of the reaction to it. Darned if I’m not a bit puzzled. People are actually defending the Warrior just out of spite for McMahon & Co.. Most of the accusations against him have been accepted by the IWC for years, though. Warrior did give non-sensical promos. Warrior was awful in the ring. Warrior was an unprofessional nut. Just because half the guys who are blasting the guy are egomaniacal nuts themselves doesn’t mean they aren’t telling the truth. Anyhoo, it’s not that great as a DVD, but it is a pretty good example of the locker room culture in the late 1980s WWF.
Mild recommendation for “The Self-Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior.”
J.D. Dunn
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