Looking at WWE’s Hair Extension Revolution

What has become clear in the Network era of the WWE is that prime-time television shows are simply commercial-filled commercials for the 3-hour Network PPV which in turn is just a commercial for the next PPV in a month-by-month subscription economy. Gone is the idea of quality wrestling driving an audience to return to see more quality wrestling. That’s too unpredictable; tastes can change and the WWE would need to stay consistently innovative and that’s difficult, risky and definitely cost ineffective. Instead the “WWE Universe” is now a consumer body marketed to with symbols and logos in an exercise of high-end branding superiority.

And therefore, the Women/Diva Revolution has grown to demonstrate the pure marketing focus of the WWE and just how little actual wrestling matters to the commercialization of sports entertainment. For example, has professional wrestling ever seen anything quite as ridiculous as the current sea of overflowing hair extensions worn by the WWE’s female wrestlers. This quote unquote “revolution” was explained as a step towards improving the women’s wrestling division in the WWE, yet what we see on the screen does not match exactly what we’re being told. One cannot deny the presence of these monstrous hair extensions and I think when we look back in 10 years, this cartoonish fad and sexist look will stand out just as significantly dated as the melon-ous breast implants that were on display in the 90s.

Thanks to that WWE Network, it’s easier than ever to roll your eyes at the different era- specific fashion trends. We can all see the blown-up muscles of the 80s (and the more cringe-worthy return in the mid-2000s), along with florescent tassels, cozy singlets and bubble letters. In the 90s there was that “extreme” look of denim and t-shirts, and in the 2000s there was an endless stream of trunks splattered with tribal tattoo patterns. The 20- teens are going to definitely be known for these waterfalls of hair extensions weighing down the Divas like capes from a Todd McFarlane comic.

If you haven’t noticed the hair extensions before then I apologize because what I just did was force you to wear the alien-exposing sunglasses from They Live (minus the alley fight). You’ll never be able to watch another monotonous, meaningless 6-woman tag team match on WWE TV the same again.

There is no chance that this organized and uniform change across the roster over the past couple of years is a coincidence. The specific styles and colours used for each woman is how the WWE tries to get you invest financially in an image. Good or bad performances in the ring matter less than whipping that hair around so that you can recognize that the the #WomensRevolution is a thing that is happening. While it’s easy to point to a handful of great NXT women’s matches back in 2014-15, the subsequent television time on the main WWE brand due to the Divas Revolution has not resulted in many noteworthy matches or performances, despite what we’re told is important and historic repeatedly.

It could be argued that this increased exposure is as much about giving the women an opportunity to perform as it is a chance to get all this hair in front of your eyes to sell you on the package of a subscription-based sports entertainment serialized commercial. There is no denying we believe that women are included when you purchase your Network subscription because we’ve seen all that hair! Young women demographic – check. Hardcore male wrestling fan demographic – check. Horny dudes – check.

The comparison to the artistic capes of one Todd McFarlane does not stop at the ludicrously unrealistic size and shape of these forms. McFarlane was a founder of Image Comics, who started another ‘revolution’ by launching an entire line of comics based on the eye-catching work of artists. No doubt, the success of Image in competition with Marvel and DC was entirely thanks to the exaggerated body shapes and clothing instead of content or story. Is this the model the WWE is currently using to make their streaming service stand-out in an enormously competitive marketplace?

Unfortunately (for old school wrestling fans only I suppose) this trend is not exclusive to the Divas ‘division’. Brock Lesnar, the major selling point, apparently, for the brand over the past few years, continues to confuse good wrestling matches with the portrayal of a good “monster” wrestler, while the Undertaker, Sting and Goldberg are being used despite their age and ability in order to apparently drive up subscriptions numbers each month through their sheer symbolic and iconic appearances. New stars like Bray Wyatt, Roman Reigns, or even ‘workrate’ favourites Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose, are more about selling a physical persona than building one through in-ring excellence.

Only John Cena continues to perform at a traditionally quantifiable high workmate level, which is either a testament to his backstage power or simply a way to pacify the man who propped up the entire company for the past 10 years with his epic pay-per-view main event performances. AJ Styles excepted, Cena may be the last of his kind; the Rollins’ and Reigns’ to come from this point forward will all have been spun out of the Network era and will never have the influence a HHH, Cena or Orton do today. You might train to be NXT Sasha Banks but when you move up you’ll have to be WWE Sasha Banks, with your own unique hair extension colour and wispy shape, and you’ll do it because that’s what Sasha Banks did.

For every Sasha Banks vs. Bayley NXT main event there’s now going to be a dozen Bayley vs. Dana Brooke matches on RAW. The promise of seeing “history” with something like women in a Hell in a Cell match is not the gender equality equivalent of the first Shawn Michaels / Undertaker Hell in the Cell match. Rather, what it means is the women on the main roster are just as neutered by the same system as the men. Congratulations. Because don’t be fooled by all the flailing neon, any actual wrestling would be the one thing that could hurt what the WWE now sells because of injuries, damage to appearance or even worse, ruining that hair. As we’ve seen in the past couple of years, the WWE banks on a perpetual anticipation of something good happening to maintain their subscription service. This is a risky move because how long will audience complacency allow them to keep walking this razor’s edge? So far so good, since no one seems to notice these ridiculous hair extensions… yet.