On the Marc Reviews: 2008 Royal Rumble

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THE Madison Square Garden, New York, NY; January 27, 2008

Commentators: Raw, Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler SmackDown, Michael Cole and Jonathan Coachman ECW, Joey Styles and Tazz

This was the first Royal Rumble to be presented in WWE-HD.

Ric Flair vs. M.V.P. career threatening match:   Mr. McMahon put Flair on notice around Survivor Series time 2007 that the next match that he lost he would have to retire. MVP is the US Champion; pre-match, Flair thanks the fans at MSG and recounts his first match there in 1976; Porter interrupts. MVP knocks Flair down early on. MVP forces Flair into the corner and drains a three; MVP slaps Flair so Ric lights him up with chops. MVP takes Flair down and hits a Yakuza kick; swinging neckbreaker gets two for MVP. Porter applies a chicken wing-crossface but misses a corner charge; Flair chop blocks him and tries an early figure-four leglock but Porter pushes him off. MVP side headlocks Ric Flair but he counters into an atomic drop and goes for the figure-four again; MVP turns it into an inside cradle this time, for two. Porter kicks away in the corner; backdrop to Flair, MVP clobbers him with the Drive-by kick for three… but Flair’s foot is on the ropes, referee “Little Naich” Charles Robinson notices it and informs MVP, as he is celebrating, that the match is not over. Flair rolls up MVP in the confusion… for two! Porter clotheslines Flair to get the advantage back; nice butterfly suplex by MVP. Porter props Flair on the top turnbuckle and superplexes him, since he is not Barry Windham in 1987, it only gets two. MVP fireman’s carries Flair but he slips off and chops; double KO. Flair gets a desperation inside cradle and backslide for nearfalls. Flair chops a lot but MVP jumping knee smashes Flair and sets up for the playmaker but Flair counters into the figure-four leglock and MVP taps out. 4/10 Obviously Flair is long past his good ol’ days but still a passable match; the story was tight, as the overconfident MVP was younger and better (at this point of their respective careers) than Flair but the veteran can still find many ways to win.

In the back Mr. McMahon hangs out with his “son” Hornswoggle and tries to get him to distrust Finlay during the Rumble tonight. Finlay shows up and McMahon tells him to watch out for Hornswoggle, who may turn on Finlay.

Jim Ross introduces new broadcast partner Mike Adamle formerly of the XFL and American Gladiators; back when it used to follow WWF Superstars on Saturday mornings. Adamle rolls the footage of Chris Jericho and JBL. Layfield attacked Jericho, from the announce position, during a title match; Jericho dragged JBL out of retirement, then JBL dragged Jericho around by the throat via a television cable on Raw.

“Y2J” Chris Jericho vs. John “Bradshaw” Layfield:   This was after Jericho returned for the “second coming” but before he turned heel and revitalized his career. They stare at each other at the bell; JBL tries to frustrate Jericho by consistently retreating to the ropes then clubbers him. Eventually Jericho fires up and takes JBL down a few times and punches away. Jericho continues to punch and kick, which is how a blood feud should start, Jericho applies the Walls of Jericho but too close to the ropes. On the floor, Jericho exposes the steel in the security rail and tosses Bradshaw into it. Back to the ring, JBL hits a desperation flapjack, clotheslining Y2J off the top rope, hurting the throat. Layfield focuses on the throat and larynx of Jericho with chokes on the ropes. JBL applies a sleeper hold; Jericho frees himself and hits a clothesline. Bradshaw big boots Jericho back down, though. Layfield tosses Jericho into the ringpost busting him open. On the floor JBL works the cut and tosses him back into the ring. Jericho crumples in the corner as JBL continues to kick and punch him there. Jericho fires up and explodes out of the corner with a forearm that floors JBL. Jericho basement dropkicks and Lionsaults him; Jericho Cactus clotheslines JBL and they fight over in the announce area. Jericho finally loses it completely and CLOBBERS Layfield with a chair to draw the DQ. Post-match Jericho tosses the chair into Layfield’s face and gets an electrical cord and hangs him by the throat. 4.5/10 Not too bad of a match, but just a preliminary to kick off the feud, hence the DQ ending. JBL’s return from the commentary booth was incredibly boring; I preferred him behind the microphone as he was highly entertaining there.

In the locker room area Ashley tries to see Maria to talk her into posing for Playboy but her boyfriend Santino Marella blocks her.

World Heavyweight Championship Edge (w/Vickie Guerrero, Kurt Hawkins & Zack Ryder) vs. Rey Mysterio:   Vickie was the SmackDown GM at this point and is wheel-chaired to the ring by assistant Teddy Long; Rey won a beat the clock challenge to win the #1 contender’s (with help from Batista and Undertaker). Edge tries to “bully” Rey and applies an armbar. Rey tries a springboard hurracanrana but it goes horribly wrong, he still manages to complete the move, but it looked awkward. Rey drop-toeholds and basement dropkicks Edge for two. Edge kicks him in the gut and tosses Rey to the floor but he rolls to his feet; as he tries to charge back into the ring, Edge baseball slides him. Hawkins and Ryder head over but referee Mickie Henson catches them pre-beat down and he ejects them. Edge almost gets a 619, so he retreats to the floor, where Rey pescatos onto him; Back into the ring Mysterio springboard seated sentons onto him back in. Rey tries one high flying move too many and Edge kicks his previously reconstructed knee, now Edge works the knee to the delight of the New York City crowd. Edge locks in an elevated half-Boston crab; Mysterio enziguris out, setting Edge up again for the 619, Edge powerslams to counter this time. Edge applies a front single-leg crab and Rey rolls through to counter. Mysterio cannot put any weight on the knee; Edge tries to remove the knee brace. Mysterio hits a desperation wheelbarrow bulldog but hurts the leg on the landing. Rey hobbles around; Edge sunset flips but, as usual, Rey rolls through and buzzsaw kicks Edge. Mysterio hits a flipping senton and they fight on the top rope; Rey comes off the top with a double stomp to the guts of Edge. Rey hurracanranas Edge to the floor and then slides under the bottom rope, stomach first, into a tornado DDT on the floor. Back into the ring, Edge breaks the momentum with a big boot. Edge misses the spear and Rey connects the 619 and drops the springboard splash but Vickie gets out of the wheelchair and pulls out the referee. Rey is pissed. Rey avoids another spear; Vickie hops up on the apron and Rey 619s Edge but Vickie takes the blunt of the blow for Edge. Mysterio is momentarily distracted and then springboards… right into a spear for three. Post-match Edge, Hawkins and Ryder tend to Vickie. 5.5/10 Basic match for these two; can Edge EVER win in a title match cleanly? I know it’s his “Ultimate Opportunist” character, but once would not hurt?

In the back Ric Flair is taunted by Mr. Kennedy until Shawn Michaels appears to congratulate him. Triple H and Batista join them and agree the best man will win the Rumble; Shawn shills his new t-shirt.

Maria shows up for the HD Kiss Cam. Ashley shows up to pitch the Playboy shoot to Maria. Santino Marella shows up to spoil the fun and answer “no” on behalf of Maria. Santino runs down all the New York sports teams. That elicits a “let’s go Giants” who were in the (best) SuperBowl (I ever watched) the next week. Santino brings out substitute boobies for everyone; it is Big Dick Johnson, with a New England Patriots logo on his stomach (and 19-0 on his ass), Ashley beats him up. 1/10 Whatever; just to shill Maria’s upcoming Playboy shoot.

Mike Adamle makes his infamous “Jeff Harvey” blunder when introducing the storyline for the next match. They edit it out for the DVD. Randy Orton was born into the WWE; Jeff Hardy is the popular risk-taker underdog.

WWE Heavyweight Championship Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy:   Jeff is the IC Champion. Orton looks weird here; he looks like the current Viper Orton but without the tattoo sleeves and not as tan. Hardy’s IC title is not on the line here; this is the WWE’s first foray into Jeff Hardy: main eventer. They lock up and roll around on the ropes as the fans duly chant “let’s go Orton” and “let’s go Hardy”. Hardy side headlocks Orton, that Randy counters into a few nearfalls, but Hardy maintains his hold so Orton head scissors him. Hardy turns it into an inverted atomic drop into the double-foot leg drop for two. Hardy sends him to the floor and basement dropkicks Orton into the security wall. Jeff pescatos out onto Orton; WWE has something here as the normally difficult on underdog babyfaces, NYC crowd is all into Jeff here. Orton tries to grab the belt and leave but Jeff cuts him off. Hardy tries to springboard back into the ring and Orton dropkicks him in midair; Orton suplexes Hardy on the floor. Randy, Orton Stomps on Jeff Hardy and then chokes him; Hardy fires back and tosses Orton over the top. Jeff runs off the apron and clotheslines Orton. Back to the ring Hardy gets a two count. Jeff MISSES a corner charge and posts himself; Orton applies a rear-naked choke. Jeff struggles to his feet but runs right into a powerslam. Orton applies a reverse chinlock; Jeff gets to his feet and counters into a Flash Back. Hardy fires up and hits a Whisper in the Wind for a really hot nearfall. Jeff reverse mule enziguris Orton into the corner and hits the rebound dropkick. Jeff Hardy goes up and… Orton rolls to the apron so Jeff missile dropkicks him to the floor. Jeff goes up again and almost misses the moonsault press. Orton is reeling; Hardy throws him back into the ring and goes for the Twist of Fate but Orton spins through into an RKO for three. The fans are stunned by the abrupt ending. 7/10 Good match that had fans thinking this could be Jeff’s night but Orton has the ability to end a match at any second and does.

They show the cool “Rumble by the Numbers” with NFL Films music in the background.

The Royal Rumble:   WWE finally gets Michael Buffer as the special ring announcer so he can finally say “let’s get ready to rumble” at the actual Royal Rumble. #1 Undertaker, getting the “Ted Dibiase #30 Curse”; ha, #2 Shawn Michaels to continue the 2007 Royal Rumble (full review click here). All six commentators can talk during the Rumble this year; that just spells clusterfuck. Taker and Shawn start us off this year (I still think they should main event a WrestleMania). Michael Cole mentions Shawn won a Rumble from #1, he makes no mention of the other guy who did it; then he remarks that Rey Mysterio is the only man to win from #2; check with the guy who signs your paychecks on that one, Michael. They pick up where they left off last year with Shawn going upside down in the corner and Taker choke lifting him. HBK is propped up on the ropes and Undertaker misses a boot the puts him on the apron. Shawn tries to toss him but a goozle stops that. Oh, yeah I’m reminded that there are 28 more guys as #3 Santino Marella heads out. He is a little worried and walks right into a superkick; Undertaker ELIMINATES him. Taker goes Old School but Shawn arm drags him off the top. Now, Shawn has the advantage as #4 Great Khali wanders out. What is this, the reverse ’07 Rumble? Undertaker chokeslams HBK and readies for Khali; Taker attacks but he chops Taker’s head. New York fans are all over Khali with the “you can’t wrestle” chants. They double goozle each other and, just like last year Undertaker, bests Khali and ELIMINATES him. #5 Hardcore Holly, who was one half of the Raw tag team champions, attacks both guys. Taker turns that around quickly; Holly fights back but then eats a big boot. Shawn and Taker return to their battle; Holly interferes as #6 John Morrison, one half of the SmackDown tag team champions, runs down. Morrison runs into the Undertaker and almost gets eliminated. Shawn, whose nose is bleeding, drops the top-rope elbow onto Morrison. Shawn tunes the band but Morrison counters into a step-up enziguri as #7 Tommy Dreamer who nails everyone in sight but Undertaker boots him. Fans chant for the hometown Dreamer as he battles Undertaker. The WWECW alums gang up on each other as Taker and Shawn continue their battle. #8 Batista who spinebusters Dreamer and clobbers everyone until he gets to the Undertaker. Dreamer tries to land Dreamer’s DDT on Batista but he reverses and ELIMINATES Dreamer. Batista then clobbers Morrison with an Animal spear. Now #9 Hornswoggle walks out he hides under the ring in lieu of getting killed. Batista uses the slight distraction to spear rival the Undertaker; Holly backdrops HBK.

Here is newly heel turned #10 Chuck Palumbo, doing his biker gimmick; he pairs off with Shawn. Undertaker attacks Palumbo claiming he had the biker thing first. Everyone battles on the ropes for #11 Jamie Noble who Palumbo turned heel on involving injuring Michelle McCool. They naturally brawl immediately; Palumbo makes quick work of Noble ELIMINATING him. #12 CM Punk heads out getting a huge New York reaction. He tries to bulldog HBK but eats a clothesline from the Undertaker. Rivals Punk and Morrison battle; Palumbo tries to eliminate Punk but he reverses and sends Palumbo to the apron, a high knee knocks him to the floor ELIMINATING him. Shawn and Punk trade suplexes against the ropes as #13 Cody Rhodes heads out, the other half of the Raw tag team champions. Cody attacks Punk and nearly eliminates him. Morrison attacks Rhodes from behind and then battles Punk. Rhodes helps tag partner Holly with the Undertaker and actually floors him with a dropkick. HBK tries to powerbomb Batista, which goes as well as you’d think. Here comes #14 Umaga, in blinding red HD tights, stomping to the ring. He clobbers everyone in sight then Samoan Spikes Hardcore Holly over the top, ELIMINATING him. Batista attacks Umaga but he gets his ass kicked as well and falls victim to a corner butt splash; Cody backdrops Shawn over but not out. #15 Snitsky comes out and attacks everyone. While Snitsky is dealing with Morrison; Cody jumps on his back and they both almost go out, Punk arrives to help along with Morrison. Shawn and Morrison continue their battle; Punk then sets Morrison up for the Go2Sleep and tag team partner #16 The Miz arrives to save him. The WWE tag champions attack Punk. Taker battles with Umaga he gets him over but not out. Miz and Morrison both battle Punk on the top and #17 Shelton Benjamin springs to the top rope to wipe them all out. Benjamin hits Paydirt on Punk and then Shawn superkicks him over the top, ELIMINATING Benjamin. Poor, Shelton Benjamin; if Shawn had stayed retired he would possibly be the WWE champion. Snitsky kills Cody in the corner with a lariat. Here is #18 Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka surprising and exciting everyone the building. Snuka attacks everyone in sight with chops; Undertaker tries to head-butt him, which does not work. Snuka abuses Miz with chops and then… Snuka… beats on Batista? #19 “Rowdy” Roddy Piper arrives to foil legendary rival Jimmy Snuka, in the same building that they both were involved in the first WrestleMania (full review, click here) main event. MSG explodes as Piper and Snuka have the “crazy old man brawl” as all the current Superstars watch (and enjoy). Jim Ross calls it precisely saying that time stood still in the Rumble.

#20 Kane heads out, not a fan of old school, ELIMINATES Piper and then ELIMINATES Snuka. Everyone then goes back to brawling. Taker goozles Shawn (teasing goozling Kane) but Umaga breaks up the chokeslam as #21 Carlito wanders out and spits his apple in Cody Rhodes’ face. Carlito tries to springboard back elbow Punk and Morrison but they catch him; Carlito uses the top rope to flip himself free and Morrison kicks Punk’s head off. Carlito hits the Backstabber on CM Punk; Cody then bulldogs Carlito. Another surprise #22 Mick Foley enters and knocks everyone down as Batista takes a Last Ride from Undertaker. Foley double-arm DDTs Kane and Umaga Samoan drops Taker; Morrison Flash Kicks Foley. Weird looking moment as main eventers Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, CM Punk, Batista, Mick Foley and Kane are all laid out in the middle of the ring. #23 Mr. Kennedy heads out who hits a facewash on Rhodes and Mic Checks both Miz and CM Punk. Kennedy attacks a prone Undertaker but eats a chokeslam that wakes up Undertaker who Stinger splashes both Umaga and Snitsky in the corner. There are a ton of guys in the ring as #24 Big Daddy V lumbers to the ring. Undertaker forces Snitsky over the top, ELIMINATING him. Taker turns right into a superkick from Shawn, ELIMINATING Undertaker. Then, Mr. Kennedy sneaks up on Shawn and ELIMINATES him. Undertaker beats up Snitsky on the floor and legdrops him through an announce table and leaves. Big Daddy V drops Miz with a spinning side slam. Kennedy tosses Rhodes over but he skins-the-cat, so Kennedy pushes him back over again, and he skins-the-cat again into a head scissors but they both save off elimination as #25 Mark Henry heads out. Henry clobbers Kane; Hornswoggle reappears to pull Miz out ELIMINATING him. Big Daddy V tries to toss both Morrison and Punk. Here is #26 Chavo Guerrero, the new ECW champion, heading ringwards. He and Punk battle to continue their ECW rivalry; Kane boots Morrison off the apron, ELIMINATING him. Mark Henry and Batista battle in the corner, I forgot Batista was in there. Kane kills Kennedy with a boot; Hornswoggle tries to interfere again but Mark Henry catches him. Henry and Big Daddy V plan to squash the leprechaun but #27 Finlay jumps the gun and attacks them with the shillelagh; he then fends off everyone with the shillelagh and he and Hornswoggle leave, both ELIMINATED. Finlay for jumping the gun or using the shillelagh… whatever. Everyone battles in the corners; #28 Elijah Burke heads out. Chavo gets the better of Punk, Benoit-ing him out, ELIMINATING him. Batista eats a Samoan Spike and rolls under the bottom rope. #29 Triple H heads out and takes out everyone and ELIMINATES Cody Rhodes; Triple H facebusters Big Daddy V and ELIMINATES the 500 pounder by himself. Perpetual rivals HHH and Mick Foley battle, Triple H tosses Foley into Elijah Burke and Triple H ELIMINATES both of them; Triple H Pedigrees Umaga. A huge surprise as #30 John Cena makes his big return from injury; big kudos to WWE for not letting that one slip to the dirt sheets so it came off as a total shock.

Everyone in the ring is bewildered; Cena lifts the up ring and tips everyone over eliminating everyone and wins. Well, not quite but that is how it felt it was going to happen when I watched it live. Cena and HHH almost battle but Mark Henry interferes and Cena wipes the floor with Henry. Cena immediately seeks out the jobbers and ELIMINATES Carlito and ELIMINATES Chavo Guerrero. Cena then ELIMINATED Mark Henry. Triple H and Cena finally find each other; they go nose to nose with the WrestleMania XXIV (full review, click here) logo in the background, nice touch. They battle and Cena eats a spinebuster. Umaga shows up and almost Samoan Spikes HHH but Batista reappears and spears Umaga. Batista reestablishes himself ELIMINATING Mr. Kennedy and then ELIMINATING Umaga. The final four for the 2008 Royal Rumble are; John Cena, Triple H, Batista and Kane who double goozles HHH and Batista but they counter and ELIMINATE Kane. The crowd goes nuts as the final three encircle each other. Impressive showing from Batista who entered at #8. Batista gives them the thumbs down so Cena gestures they can’t see him that entices HHH to tell them to suck it. They all triple threat brawl; Cena and HHH try to double up on Batista but he levels them with a double clothesline; Batista spinebusters both of them, Cena backdrops out of a Batista Bomb and Triple H ELIMINATES a slightly confused Batista. It all comes down to Cena and Triple H who points at the WrestleMania XXIV logo. Cena gets the advantage and Proto-bombs HHH and lands the Five-Knuckle Shuffle. Triple H counters the F-U and Cena slips out of the Pedigree; they double clothesline each other. Cena tries to F-U Triple H out but he counters into a DDT. Triple H hoists him up on his shoulder and tries to toss Cena. John Cena counters into the F-U again but HHH reverses into a Pedigree… but Cena counters and F-Us HHH over the top ELIMINATING him and winning the 2008 Royal Rumble. 5.5/10 Cena’s return was a huge surprise, but sealed the ending (Cena winning) at least for me. This was a Rumble with a bunch of guys brawling at once so if you like that kind of Rumble this you’ll enjoy this one. I think it is funny that the WWE goes twenty years without having #30 win then it happens two years in a row.

The 411:  Not one of the better Rumble shows; all of the undercard matches felt like they were just there except Hardy/Orton. The Rumble itself was average at best and once Cena returned we all knew he was going to win.
Final Score:  4.0   [ Poor ]