The Smackdown! Summary 8.18.06

Before we get into Smackdown, there are a couple things I would like to cover.First, I would like to respond to Jeff’s comments (last Sunday’s Small for all news.. It’s a pretty good read by the way) about Heat being the true B show of the WWE and kicking my butt in Fact or Fiction. Maybe you should re read the Fact or Fiction column again. As far as Heat goes, I’d heard about it but I wasn’t sure it still existed. At least Smackdown has King Booker. When was the last time Heat had the World Champion on the show? Let me help you- I believe it was Chris Jericho, January 2002.

And I’d like to give you and excerpt from the 3 r’s on the ECW main event of Sabu vs RVD:
He goes to grab the contract so that no one would win and get to face him and as it lowered, it stalled, and then he stood there with a thumb up his ass because Sabu was about, a minute late on his cue. Finally he comes in with a RANA try, and Show held him on his shoulders. Sabu then proceeded to give Big Show directions to the contract like one of those in car mapping devices so he could grab the contract and win in lame fashion. After the match Show chokeslammed Sabu on the CLIPBOARD OF DOOM~! Show then chokeslammed RVD while Sabu ate his contract.

Hilarious stuff. Now on to the show!

The Great Khali/ The Undertaker…. last man standing match…. tonight!!

Smackdown is live from the nation’s capitol. Your hosts are JBL and Michael Cole.

Batista vs Sylvan
Ayh griat!! We gait to see the animal in ets nataral enviranmeant!! Ok my Australia accent sucks. Crazy Batista chants! Sylvan wants to lecture us about Quebec being superior to the capitol? He gets into the ring and walks right into a spear. Spinebuster. Thumbs up and thumbs down. Batista bomb and its over. dud

Winner: Batista via pinfall @ 0:46
Summary: Not sure what they were trying to accomplish here. Poor Sylvan.

Recap of Layla winning the Diva Search.

MVP is watching Smackdown! up in the sky box.

Sylvester Turkay (w/ Elijah Burke) vs Scotty Too Hotty S2H gets some shots in to start the match but bails when he realizes he only making Turkay mad. S2H hops on the apron to get back and but Turkay hits him with a boot right to the face. Back inside, Trukay delivers some wicked knee lifts to S2H. He locks in a wierd sleeper hold but S2H elbows out but Turkay cuts it short with a belly to belly suplex. Turkay grinds his forearm in the face of S2H then decides to take a breather and Burke douses him with the water bottle. S2H in the corner and Turkay runs right in an elbow and a boot. Turkay grabs S2H, puts him up top, then finisheds him with a stalling Fisherman buster.*

Winner: Sylvester Turkay via pinfall @ 3:15
Summary: Turkay is looking more and more impressive. They’re doing the right thing by giving him squash matches now. The good stuff will come later.

Cole says Vickie will try to talk Teddy Long out of the Rey/Chavo match. Then we get a video package of Rey and Eddie’s friendship, minus all the Dominic stuff thankfully.

Kristal interviews WWE Tag Team champions Paul London and Brian Kendrick. Kristal conveniently points out that the champs lost to the newcomers KC James and Idol Stevens. Kendrick and London make excuses before getting jumped by James and Stevens.

Tatanka vs Mr. Kennedy
A series of lock ups and reversals until Tatanka gets an arm bar and begins to work the arm. Tatanka with stiff chops and Kennedy bails to the outside but Tatanka follows him with more hard chips and tosses him back in. Tatanka continues to dominate until Kennedy comes back with a shot to the leg. Kennedy works the leg and drops an elbow for two. Kennedy goes back to the knee. Hard kicks to the leg by Kennedy and a clothesline for two. Kennedy back to the leg again with a leg bar. Tatanka fails to escape a couple of times but finally kicks Kennedy off. Tatanka with a clothesline out of the corner. They trade rights with Tatanka getting the better of it with some overhead punches. Tatanka telegraphs a back drop but catches Kennedy coming off the ropes the second time. War dance and more hard chops from Tatanka. Tomahawk and Tatanka goes up top. Tomahawk from the top but it only gets two! Kennedy goes for a neck breaker, but Tatanka reverses for a Samoan drop which Kennedy counters into a roll up for the win with a handful of tights. After the match Tatanka throws a tantrum.**

Winner: Mr. Kennedy via pinfall @ 8:47
Summary: Solid match from Kennedy although there was nothing special about it. The match was a little slower paced than usual but that may have been to account for Tatanka’s limitations in the ring.

Backstage Vicki Guerrero asks Teddy Long to call off the SummerSlam match between Rey and Chavo. (Didn’t she see what happened when Divari tried that last week?) Teddy says the match is still on.

Last Man Standing Match: The Undertaker vs The Great Khali
They get right into it with rights and TGK chokes UT in the corner. Clothesline by TGK but UT sits right up. UT goes after the leg but TGK just kicks him outside. UT up on the apron and snap TGK neck over the ropes. UT with temple shots and nails the apron leg drop. Ut locks in the triangle choke while TGK is in the ropes and you can hear him scream! UT asks the ref to count but TGK answers the 10 count. Divari has a chair and UT chases him up the ramp. UT has Divari and is about to toss him over the edge until TGK recovers, and Divari gets a low blow on UT. TGK rams UT into the set before tossing him over the edge through a table. UT answers the count at 9 and we go to commercial.

Back from commercial, TGK is punishing Ut outside. UT tries to fight back but TGK is too powerful. They’re back inside the ring and TGK continues the punishment. TGK ties UT in the ropes and delivers the chop of death! And again! 3x, 4x and UT is down. Ut answers the count at 9 ½ and the two exchange rights. UT clothesline TGK to the outside but TGK whips him into the steps knees first. TGK tosses the steps into the ring. UT back in the ring and he has the steps! Murders TGK with the steps! Divari has a chair and he is tossed into the ring. UT has the chair and the TGK’s head is laying across the steps. UT smashes TGK with the chair and he’s busted open! TGK up though and UT goes back to the leg. UT has the chair again and a sick chair shot! Another and the chair is folded and that’s the Smackdown! Summary Slam of the night!! Goozle, chokeslam and TGK can’t make the count. *** 1/2

Winner: The Undertaker via KO @ 17:09
Summary: This match was nowhere near as bad as I expected it to be. It was actually pretty good. I wonder what will happen with Khali now?

We get a Boogeyman video package. (King Booker beware!)

Cole and JBL run down the Summerslam card.

Big Vito vs Scott Thorne?
We get a headlock to start and an upskirt distracts Thorne? long enough for Vito to hit a clothesline and a leg drop for two. Vito with a headlock takedown and another and he hangs onto it. Thorne? fights back and gets some rights in the corner but Vito comes back with a clothesline, a second and a third followed by a back drop. Dress flap and JBL is livid! Spinning DDT and the cross -dresser gets the submission.*1/2

Winner: Big Vito via submission @ 3:20
Summary: JBL was more entertaining in this match than the guys wrestling. I love how upset he gets when Vito wrestles.

United States Title:Bobby Lashley vs Finlay
Lock up and a clean break. Lock up again and Finlay shoves Lashley prompting Lashley to push him through the ropes. Finlay with a takedown and a quick two count. Now Lashley gets a takedown but Finlay gets the ropes. Finlay up and Lashley pummels him in the corner. Elbows by Lashley and Finlay has something in his eye….. wrong, he cheap shots Lashley. Brilliant!! Hard uppercuts now but Lashley reverses a whip and gets a military press gut buster. Regal is down and distracts Lashley long enough for Finlay to regain control as we go to commercial.

Back from the break, Finlay has a wrist lock as we see a replay of Lashley be rammed into the post during commercial. Lashley fights free but misses a charge and posts himself again. They spill to the outside where Finlay walks right into a back drop on the floor. Back inside, Finlay with a hard clothesline and an arm bar while screaming “I’m gonna break your arm!!” Finlay with a quick pin attempt for two. Finlay back to the arm bar. Lashley back up and Finlay brings him right back down and back into the wrist lock. Lashley battles out once again and gets a belly to belly suplex. Rights by Lashley , an elbow, and a pair of clotheslines. One handed delayed vertical suplex by Lashley. Regal on the apron providing enough distraction for Finlay to get a clothesline. Lil Bastard is out and Finlay picks him up to toss him on Lashley…. spear to Finlay with Lil Bastard! Running powerslam and the pin… 1..2… Regal pulls the ref out drawing the DQ. Lashley is pissed and attacks regal but Lil Bastard wacks Lashley in the knees with the shillelagh. Finlay grabs a chair and wants Regal to hold Lashley. Finlay misses and wacks Regal instead!! Finlay and Regal bail and Lashley tosses the chair. Amazingly, he hits Finlay in the arm with it! (Does that count for fantasy points.?)***

Winner: Bobby Lashley via DQ @ 13:20
Summary: Everytime they put these two together we get some good action. Factor in Regal and these three have the best fued going in WWE right now.

King Booker comes out with Sharmell. Booker says Batista has two options: get beat like a sucka or come down to the ring to hear the alternative and save what little fan respect he has left in the process. Batista is out! Booker tells Batista that the alternative is to bow down and kiss his feet. Sharmell presents the royal red foot pillow and takes of the Booker’s shoe and sock so Batista can do the honors. (Somewhere, Snitsky is begging McMahon to be traded to Smackdown! Actually, this has the makings of a bad porno.) Batista considers it, kneels down, but then stomps Booker’s foot and clotheslines him out of the ring. Batista then sits on Booker’s throne, steals Booker’s spotlight, and after the show he plans to eat Booker’s porridge.

The Summary: No Rey/Chavo on the last Smackdown before ppv? I’m not sure if that is good or bad. Hopefully WWE blows it off at Summerslam so Eddie can rest. Booker/Batista has had almost no build to Summerslam and has even less hype. Heck, even Sabu/Big Show had more build. At least the diva search is over.