411’s WWE No Mercy Report 10.09.05

Welcome to 411’s LIVE No Mercy report. The PPV pre-show is now the WWE.com feed, so that’s an improvement over the 30-minutes of endless videos that we’ve seen 80 times.

They showed a really good JBL promo that was a WWE.com exclusive. He cut this promo on a Rey Mysterio teddy bear, and it was tremendous.

Tazz, Cole, Hugo and Carlos were announced.

The Orton’s were then interviewed, they have plan to bury the Undertaker. Randy wore his rKo (n W o rip off) shirt.

Next Paul London and Brian Kendrick faced off with Paul Burchill and William Regal. WHY is this not on PPV? Kick ass little match that saw Regal being Regal, and a sweet drop-sault by London on Burchill, and he landed on Regal for a close 2 count. Burchill got the shoulder breaker and Regal applied the Regal Stretch for the win @ 5:15.

PPV STARTS NOW!

Tazz and Cole welcome us to No Mercy!

MNM is out and we get highlights from SD and MNM giving Hemme the snap shot.

So with Hemme, are they re-doing LOD 2000 with her as Sunny?

Match #1 MNM vs. LOD 2k5 © and Christy Hemme

Heidenwarrior grabs Nitro and here we go. Animal in with his shoulder all taped up and levels Nitro. Slam and a tag to Heidenwarrior. Rights to Nitro and then a slam. Vicious clothesline to Nitro (FLIP SELL~!) and a cover for 2. Tag to Animal and elbows to Nitro, then the corner clothesline. Another one misses and he rams that bad shoulder and Nitro and Mercury double team. Mercury in now and he rams him shoulder first into the corner again. Kicks to the shoulder and Animal is down. SNAP SHOT on Animal! Right to Heidenwarrior. Cover and they get 2. Tag to Nitro and they club away on Animal. More work on the shoulder as they wrap his arm in the ropes. Cover and 2 for Mercury. They choke him on the ropes, and Melina gets a leg scissors as well to ass more punishment to Animal. Mercury keeps working the arm and shoulder of Animal to Melina’s pleasure. Neck breaker by Mercury gets 2. Mercury up top…Animal catches him and gets the power slam! Cover gets 2 as Nitro breaks it up. Heidenwarrior in and gets tossed to the floor. Nitro leaps and nails the barricade. Melina tags in, Animal catches her and tags Hemme. Hart Attack to Melina! Boot by Hemme, then she almost kills herself trying a RANA. Animal picks up Melina…Hemme up top…DIVA DEVICE to Melina and that’s all.

Winners: LOD and Hemme @ 6:35 via pin

Mercury carries Melina to the back as LOD and Hemme celebrate.

We get replays of the match now.

Backstage we see Batista preparing. Eddie is there now. He has one thing to say…good luck. Eddie looks mean. Batista tells him good luck as well. What, no hug?

Backstage LOD and Hemme go to the WWE.com interactive area.

Dean has the Dean machine and a dude with a plate of hamburgers! He read in a fitness magazine that Houston was the fattest city in America, and everything IS bigger in Texas! He has 20 double cheeseburgers with him. If you ate one, that is cool. But when these people eat and eat 20 of these at one sitting, you become fat and pathetic. He is sure he will win, and if he doesn’t, he will eat all 20 of these tonight!

Match #2 Simon Dean vs. Bobby Lashley

Dean with a headlock, but Lashley dumps him. Dean tries to run and Lashley breaks. Double under hook suplex to Dean. Shoulder thrusts in the corner. Lashley then misses and Dean tosses burgers and gets the plate…NAILS Lashley. NO SELL! Head butt. Lashley tries to toss up Dean, but drops him. Picks him up again…BLASTER to Dean finishes it.

Winner: Bobby Lashley @ 1:45 via pin

Lashley points to the burgers and grabs one. He stuffs it in Dean’s face.

Dean hops on the Dean machine and rides away.

Steve Romero is with Mole Girl, she announces JBL. He asks about Raw guys coming to the PPV. He says if HBK and the “B-Team” tries to prove them selves against them, then come get some. He will beat the little burrito eating Rey. Underdogs don’t win. Rey is there now. Spanish talk, JBL yells at him to speak English…and calls him inner tube boy! Rey says he brought him a present. It’s a Rey mask, so JBL can hide his face in shame when he loses. He then offers it to Mole Girl, nice!

Lashley goes to the WWE.com instant access deal. Teddy Long is there to offer him congrats.

Sharmell gets her own intro. She then intros Booker T, cause he is from Houston.

All four men in at one time for those keeping score at home.

Match #3 US Title Match: Chris Benoit© vs. Christian vs. Booker T vs. OJ

Crazy brawling to start. OJ works over Benoit as Christian and Booker pair off. OJ and Christian double-team him as Benoit falls to the floor. Rights by Christian on Booker as OJ holds him. Double clothesline by Booker. Christian dumped to the floor and Booker works on OJ. Chops now and then a knee. Christian trips up Booker and pulls him to the floor and rams him to the steps. Benoit in and crossface on OJ, but Christian breaks it up. Chops by Benoit on Christian. Then to OJ. Slam to OJ, snap suplex to Christian. Then to OJ on top of Christian. Chops to OJ, then a drop toehold and Christian nails OJ in the nads. Sharpshooter on Christian and OJ breaks that up. They double-team Benoit as Booker goes up top…MISSILE DROPKICK to Christian. Chops to OJ. Catapult to OJ, which knocks Christian to the floor. OJ to the floor. Booker and Benoit in the ring now, they are apparently friends. They stare down and Cole mentions the best of 7 series, take a drink. Lock up and they go to the corner, clean break. Christian and OJ in and they break things up. Benoit with a belly to belly to Christian over the top to the floor! OJ knocks Benoit to the floor. OJ chokes out Booker. Benoit back in as OJ and Booker took each other down. Benoit up top, Christian tries to stop him and goes up. OJ rams Booker to the corner and Christian and Benoit FALL from the top to the floor. Booker with a small package on OJ for a CLOSE 2! Fore arm by Booker. Boot by OJ, but Booker with the spine buster for 2 as Christian is back in. Kick to Christian. Benoit in and Booker levels him. SPINEROOONIE~! Ax kick to OJ! 1…2…NO as Christian stops it. Benoit in, off the ropes and he and Booker collide. Christian tries the unprettier….GERMAN by Benoit! Another and OJ nailed Benoit as well. Benoit tries one on OJ, and then Benoit tosses OJ through the ropes onto Booker. GERMAN to Christian! Benoit up top…no, GERMAN…2…3rd! Now up top! SWAN DIVE HEAD BUTT misses! Christian is alive! Benoit counters Christian…crossface try and he has it! Christian fights…and OJ is in to break it up! Booker back in as well. He and OJ fly to the floor again. Christian grabs Benoit…but Benoit with the SHARPSHOOTER! Christian taps!

Winner: Chris Benoit @ 10:25 via pin

Sharmell yells at Booker after the match. She says Benoit is NOT his friend and he made him lose and he needs to start thinking. I would say clotheslining OJ to the floor again did that myself.

Legends commercial for the Best of the 80’s on Fan Fanatics PPV.

Dean is backstage and Lashley is making him eat the burgers! Dean says he can’t do it. Dean offers to eat the meat only, to avoid the carbs. Lashley disagrees and tells him to keep eating.

Benoit to instant access. Teddy long tells him he did well.

Oh yes, Kennedy does his own ring announcing… Kennedy! SPOTLIGHT and dropping mic from the sky! That is so awesome. He says everyone around the “freakin” world idolizes him, and the locker room fears him.

I am going to use “HH” for Holly, for those keeping score.

Match #4 Mr. Kennedy vs. “The Alabama Slamma” Hardcore Holly

HH tossed Kennedy in to start. He clubs away on him and then a nice suplex for 2. Rights by HH, as the crowd keeps going, “Kennedyyyyyyyyyy!” HH chokes him out now. Knees by Kennedy, then rights. Off the ropes, reversal and the SWEET dropkick by HH. To the corner and CHOP TIME by HH. Kennedy sells them so damn well! Another chop and Kennedy is in pain and begs off. Kennedy then tosses HH to the floor and follows. He rams his shoulder off the steel post. Back in now and covers for 1. Kennedy talks trash and then continues the assault on the shoulder. Back suplex to HH and Kennedy gets 2. Arm bar by Kennedy. A minute later we are still there. HH to his feet and escapes, but Kennedy with a clothesline and cover for 2. Chops by HH now. Boot by Kennedy and a single arm DDT to HH and a cover for 2. Another arm bar, more of a key lock Tazz says. HH to his feet and rights to Kennedy. Backdrop by HH. Kennedy misses a clothesline and HH with elbows. Off the ropes…Full nelson slam by HH and a cover for 2. Corner clothesline by HH. Another. Flapjack try, but HH just drops him, that looked really bad. But kick by HH. Roll up by HH for 2. Kennedy misses a wheel kick, and a HH with a boot for 2. HH up top… Kennedy over to stop him with rights. Kennedy up top…Green Bay Plunge finishes it.

Winner: Mr. Kennedy…Kennedy @ 8:50 via pin

Kennedy announces himself the winner… Kennedyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Replays of the match are shown. Trainers are out to look at HH. He yells at them to get away from him. He is holding his ribs and still yelling. Sylvain is out now. He beats down HH! Knees to the ribs. Into the ring now and he knees repeatedly at the ribs. Sylvain nails his suplex deal on HH and stands tall.

Dean is still eating backstage. Lashley likes burgers, but they are all Dean’s. He finds a hair in his food.

Sharmell is yelling at Booker still. She says Benoit is a winner, and the US Champ. Booker had a shot, but his friend stole his thunder. Kennedy is there! He calls it a domestic dispute. He has shocking news, he won his first PPV match. KENNEDYYYYYYYYYYY! He’s a WINNER…LOSER is Booker! Sharmell says Kennedy is not his problem, neither is Benoit. Booker is his own problem.

Rey’s new music blows.

Match #5 JBL w/Mole Girl vs. Rey Mysterio

Punches and kicks by Rey to start. Off the ropes, JBL misses a boot but gets a headlock takedown. Mole Girl looks on as Rey battles to his feet. Rey fights out now and JBL shoulder blocks him down. Elbow misses and Rey takes JBL to the floor. Back in and Rey to the floor. They play cat and mouse and JBL is angry. JBL looks blown up now, nice. Rey does jumping jacks and then gets a baseball slide to JBL. JBL in with a boot to Rey and then chops. Clubbing shots by JBL now. Off the ropes and a basement dropkick by Rey. Snap mare and a cover for 2 by Rey. Rey works the left knee of JBL now. Leg scissor and a heel hook by Rey. Stiff kicks by Rey and then back to the leg. Thumb to the eye by JBL. Off the ropes and a tilt a whirl by Rey. JBL escapes the 619. Bulldog off the apron by Rey to JBL. JBL trips up Rey and he smashes his head off the steel steps. JBL tosses him back in and covers for 2. Rey fights back with a boot and up top, JBL up as well…SUPER fall away slam by JBL! JBL picks him up…regular fall away slam to Rey. JBL tosses Rey to the floor and follows. Fall away slam on the floor to Rey. JBL tosses Rey back in the ring and covers for 2. Another cover for 2. JBL takes him to the corner and knees away at Rey. Sets him up top…bear hug by JBL. Forearm shots by JBL as he holds Rey in the bear hug. Rey battles out, but JBL sets him up top again. Nails JBL and then a tornado DDT by Rey! To their feet now and kicks by Rey to the legs of JBL. Spring board cross body by Rey. Dropkick to JBL. JBL has Rey…power bomb try…RANA by Rey! Bronco Buster by Rey. Mole Girl is on the apron. JBL almost hits her and Rey up top…moonsault to a standing JBL gets 2. JBL takes Rey down now and JBL tries the clothesline, dropkick by Rey! 619. Rey springs in, misses…CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL! 1…2…3!

Winner: JBL @ 13:31 via pin

Hype video for the Undertaker vs. Orton’s Casket Match.

Undertaker needs to place BOTH Orton’s in the casket to win.

Full druid entrance for the casket.

Match #6 Casket Match: The Undertaker vs. “Cowboy-ACE” Bob and Randy Orton

Randy looks at the casket as he and dad surround Taker. Taker tries to stay away to start and then delivers rights. Boots to Randy. Elbows to Bob. Head butt by Taker to Randy. He puts them both in the same corner and rights to Bob. Bob falls on the apron and is able to LOW BLOW Taker as he tries to slam Randy. Knees to Taker now. Bob holds Taker as Randy punches away. Randy holds Taker now as Bob delivers rights to Taker. Randy with an uppercut to Taker. They work him over in the corner now and the Orton’s are in control. Taker fights back now and levels them both. He tries to toss Randy into the casket, bur he stops and runs. Taker nails Bob and goes after Randy. He tosses Bob in but Randy rams Taker into the ring steps. Bob escapes and Randy works over Taker. Taker rammed off the steps again. Rolled into the ring and they double team him. They drag him to the casket…almost in…but Taker stops them. Right to Bob then to Randy. Could their surprise be Kane BTW? Boot to Bob. Rights and then works him over in the corner. Arm bar on Randy. Old school for Randy. Boot to Bob and he is down. Flatliner to Randy. Bob tires a left, Taker catches it. Arm bar…old school on the legend! HOW DARE HE! Thankfully Randy breaks it up. Taker is crotched on the top…Bob up top… Randy up as well…Taker fights…They have control…DOUBLE SUPERPLEX! God bless Bob Orton! Bob covers, but there are no pins old man! They take him to the casket…they try to suplex him in. Taker fights…double DDT! Dead man sit up. Bob is tossed into the casket. Snake eyes on Randy. Clothesline to Randy. Bob crawls back in the ring, tombstone try on Randy, escape and a clothesline by Taker. Sweet inverted back breaker by Randy. Bob has a fire extinguisher. Randy tosses Taker to the floor. Taker rams him into the steel post. Boot to Bob and he drops the extinguisher. Taker with a chair now. NAILS Randy and he is in the casket. Rights to Bob now. Triangle choke by Taker on the apron to Bob. He tries to pull him into the casket…he does. He tries to close the lid… Randy up…he fights…rights to Taker. He chokes Taker now and pulls him in. They battle and Taker tosses Randy out. Taker follows and closes Bob in the casket. In the ring now, off the ropes…power slam by Randy. Randy drags him over to the casket…opens it up and LOW BLOW by Taker. Taker stalks Randy. Boots to Randy now. Taker works over Randy in the corner now. Irish whip, reversal and boot by Taker. Off the ropes…Dropkick by Randy! Corner mount punches by Randy. Taker has him though… Randy escapes, but Taker has him…LAST RIDE! So who is in the casket now? It has been closed forever. Taker pulls Randy over to the casket…Bob has the fire extinguisher! Gooches Taker! RKO to Taker! Bob rolls Taker now. Casket opens…GOOZLE from the mat! Randy nails Taker with the extinguisher and he falls into the casket! Taker grabs Randy though and Bob closes it. Um shouldn’t it be over? Opens and Taker has Randy, but Randy gets the chair and NAILS him and closes it and it’s now over.

Winners: The Orton’s @ 19:15

They lock the casket and roll it up the entrance way. I think we may have a BBQ. Bob goes backstage. He has an ax, that’s interesting. Randy talks shit and chops some holes in it. Bob has some gas! Throw another Taker on the barby! Randy stands on top of the casket and pours out the gas. Not exactly smart. Randy says, “You’re going to burn in hell you son of a bitch!” He lights it. Randy poses as it burns. The crew puts out the fire.

Cole and Tazz put it over as a “vile” act.

Match #7 Nunzio © w/Vito vs. Juvi w/The MexiCOOLS~!

Some reversals and Juvi with a roll up for 2. More roll ups and Juvi gets 2. Small package roll through and Juvi with another 2. Juvi talks with the cools and then chops away on Nunzio. Off the ropes and a nice reversal series and a yakuza by Juvi. Head scissors gets 2 for Juvi. Back breaker by Juvi gets 2. Juvi up top… Nunzio pulls him off the hard way. Nunzio covers for 2. Elbows by Nunzio. Surfboard by Nunzio now. Juvi escapes, gets a victory roll for 2. Nunzio rams Juvi to the corner, Nunzio up top…Juvi up as well…they battle…Double face buster and both men are down. Nunzio covers for 2. Boot by Juvi. Spin kick by Juvi. Forearms by Nunzio. Off the ropes and a sunset flip, but Juvi rolls through and gets the basement dropkick for 2. Elbow by Nunzio, but Juvi with a tilt a whirl face plant for 2. Boot by Nunzio, misses the leg drop. Nunzio dumps Juvi to the apron, Vito grabs him but Juvi kicks him. Sun set flip try, Juvi with a head scissors to Vito on the floor. Juvi up top…cross body, Nunzio rolls through for 2. Northern lights by Juvi up and rolls into the Juvi driver and that is all.

Winner: and NEW CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION JUVI @ 7:00 via pin

Hugo interviews Juvi. All in Spanish. Same for Psicosis and Crazy. All I understood was “MEXICOOLS~!”

Dean is still backstage eating his burgers. He ate them all. Lashley says it was only 19. They found one more. Dean runs to the bathroom and hurls.

Batista and Eddie hype package.

Match #8 WWE Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Batista ©

They jockey for position to start, takedown by Eddie. Batista escapes and they stand off. Fireman’s carry takeover by Eddie and a cover for 1. Batista smiles at Eddie and they circle each other. Test of strength and Batista with the advantage. Eddie tries to beg off and goes to the corner to escape. Kick to Batista and Batista now with rights. Press slam by Batista. Eddie to the floor to walk it off. Back in now and a lock up. Side headlock by Batista. Eddie with rights to Batista, off the ropes and Batista holds on. Eddie escapes and whips Batista, reversal and Batista misses a charge. They smile at each other…stop that! Hate each other please. Side headlock by Batista again. Eddie tries to escape, does but Batista pulls him back into the headlock. Eddie tries again to ballet out, and elbows to Batista. Off the roes and a shoulder block by Batista. Slams to Eddie and a cover for 2 by Batista. Eddie to the floor to work on that game plan. Eddie has a chair…then throws it down. Batista grabs him by the throat. He pulls him back in and Eddie gets a stunner off the ropes. Eddie up top…FROG SPLASH on the back of Batista gets 2! Boots by Eddie now to the back of Batista. Eddie continues to work the back with forearm shots. Body scissors now by Eddie. Eddie covers and gets 2. Eddie has a choke now as well and Batista tries to roll out. He does and stands up with Eddie on his back. He rams Eddie to the corner and breaks it. Eddie with a dropkick to the back of Batista. Single leg crab now by Eddie (SHADES OF LANCE STROM~!) Batista tries to get the ropes…and does. Eddie now takes off the turnbuckle pad…nope, he has the tag rope. Dropkick to Batista, and Eddie clubs away on Batista’s back. Camel clutch by Eddie, then rolls back into the body scissors with the choke. Batista escapes the choke…then the body scissors. He stands up with Eddie wrapped around him and gets a bear hug. Eddie escapes and nails Batista with a right that angers the big man. Basement dropkick by Eddie and Batista grabs his leg in pain. Eddie tries the Texas Cloverleaf…and gets it (SHADES OF DEAN MALENKO~!) Batista escapes and gets a roll up for 2. Eddie with forearms to the back again, rams him in the corner and works him over with forearms to the chest. Irish whip by Eddie, reversal and Eddie floats over and REF BUMP~! Eddie takes down Batista and then goes to the floor and gets the chair. In the ring he waits on Batista. Eddie can’t do it! Maybe he has turned good? He tosses out the chair and Batista is up. Batista saw the chair and Eddie says he didn’t use it! Rights to Batista, and Batista rams him into the corner. Shoulder thrusts. Corner clothesline by Batista. Backdrop by Batista. SPEAR by Batista! Rope shake! Sets for the Batista bomb…Eddie escapes and tries a roll up, but Batista pulls him up and gets the spine buster as he holds his back. Batista covers and gets 2. Batista tries an elbow drop, but Eddie got the knees up. Eddie shakes…boot. Three Amigos…1…2…3! Eddie feels it! Up top…Eddie sentons through the froggy…SPINE BUSTER by Batista …1…2…3!

Winner: Batista @ 18:45 via pin

Batista gets the belt and holds his back. We see a replay of the finish. Batista looks at Eddie and Eddie is up now. They stare down as the crowd chants for Eddie. Mixed chants now. Eddie offers his hand, they shake. Batista turns his back…Eddie smiles but does nothing.

Batista stands tall as we fade…

Thanks for joining 411 for LIVE coverage of WWE No Mercy!