411’s OVW TV Report 5.08.06

We open the show as always with Armando Alejandro Estrada!

Estrada: Hola! Everybody listen…haha…to me. Welcome to the Spanish version of OVW TV. I am your host…Armando Alejandro Estrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrada! Aka Big Lalo! Tonight is the night! Tonight is the biggest night in OVW. Tonight is going to be the OVW Heavyweight Champion, Brent “Gunner Scott” Albright versus C….M….Punk! Amigos, this is not going to be any old match. This is going to be the long anticipated strap match! Haha! Tonight somebody’s going to get whipped. Ah ha! (He sees Maria.) Hey Maria! Come back here. Come join me. I saw you on Monday Night Raw. Looking pretty good! I saw you pin Mickie James, that was magnifico! Me gusta! Haha!

Maria: Yeah but then she came and jumped me I didn’t like that. No me gusta. Haha!

Estrada: Hey I’ve got a me gusta for you. Who do you think is going to win the OVW Title Match tonight?

Maria: Well that’s pretty easy given I don’t like the current champ….Brent “Gunner Scott” Albright. He has too many names. No me gusta.

Estrada: I have 3. Armando Alejandro Estrada. That’s good right? Haha!

Maria: And I think that the title and the match belong to C.M. Punk. He’s hot. I like that. Haha.

Estrada: Haha! Hey whoever is going to win the title match tonight. As long as they vote for the Big Lalo campaign and they support me, I’m going to…name you! Maria Conchita HoochieCoochieGimmieASmoochieMondayNightRawDiva! Secretary of Prositution! That’s what I’m talkin’ about! Hey where you going? You know Maria and Armando together. Hey where you going. I’ve got cash. You can’t run away from me, I’m going to be dictator! Haha! *Slams door in his face* Amigos, she doesn’t know, she just walked into the campaign headquarters for Big Lalo! Haha! That’s what I’m talkin about! And remember! Vote for Lalo for dictator of Los Kentuckos! And his name is Armandooooo Alejandrooooo Estrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrada! *Opens door to Maria screaming*

“Let the bodies hit the floor!”

Boris Alexiev vs. Mikey Batts

They circle. Roundhouse kick by Boris. Batts ducks it. Takedown and Boris is already trying to lock in that armbar submission. Batts kicks up. Hiplock toss by Boris! Batts runs at Boris with several punches. Punches back by Boris. Big elbow from Boris drops Batts. Batts is stunned. Batts with a swift kick to the ribs. Boris wants another. Batts gives another. Boris kicks back. Batts with another kick and Boris kicks harder and Batts falls to his knees. Backheel kick from Boris drops Batts. Boris locks in the armbar submission! Batts taps!

Winner- Boris Alexiev

Michelle McCool is in OVW again!

McCool: Hi, I’m Michelle McCool and I’m your live events host this week.

*Deuce and Domino with Cherry appear with an OH!”

Domino: Hey I gotta know somethin. What kind of wonder bra does it take to go from a 32 B to a 38 Triple D? Hahaha!

Deuce: Hey I know this broad. What are trying to do? Show up my girlfriend?

McCool: Actually, since you’re the one that wants to pick this fight, let me ask you a question. What kind of man allows his own father, a wrestling legend at that, to get beat up?

*Cherry slaps McCool!*

Domino: OH! I guess that’s the end of this week’s live events update! Tune in next week when we’ll have the OVW Southern Tag Team Titles around our waists…again!

Deuce and Domino w/ Cherry vs. Roadkill & Kasey James -c- w/ Michelle McCool (OVW Southern Tag Team Titles)

McCool comes right in and gets in their face. Attack from behind by Deuce and Dice. They doubleteam Roadkill. And they toss him out. James from behind kicks Deuce and starts working on Dice. Kicks and punches by James. Big series of punches and a haymaker on Dice on the ropes. James sends him for the ride. Domino ducks a clotheline. Domino with a clotheline on James. The cover gets 2. Tag to Deuce and they doubleteam James. James counters out of a body slam and rolls up Deuce! 1…2…No! Big forearm by Deuce. Cover gets 2! Deuce with a headlock on the mat. James fights out of it. Knee to the gut by Deuce stops the momentum. Tag to Dice. Dice with a punch to the gut while Deuce holds him. Dice with a cover gets 2. Boot to the gut by James. Club by Dice. They trade blows. Dice holds James and tags in Deuce. Deuce measures him with some punches. Deuce with a hiptoss slam. Cover gets 2. Headlock again by Deuce. James works out of it. Body slam by Deuce. Tag to Dice. Dice leaps over the ropes. Onto the turnbuckle and goes for a splash but James puts his knees up! James looking for the tag. Crawling over to Roadkill. He dives! Makes the tag! In comes Roadkill! Clotheline by Roadkill on Dice. Another one on Dice. Here’s one for Deuce! Ducks a clotheline from Domino. Roadkill puts him up. Sets him up for the Amish Driver! Deuce pulls Domino out from it and Roadkill lands a big punch on Deuce.

Boot to the gut by Domino. Irish whip by Domino reversed by Roadkill! Roadkill charges and Stinger Splash in the corner! Roadkill sets him up! Death valley driver! The cover! No ref! Cherry is distracting the ref! Here comes Deuce! He’s got a skate and nails Roadkill in the back of the head with the skate! Here comes James. James gets Deuce! Cherry in the ring to check on Deuce! Spear by McCool! McCool is pummeling Cherry! Cat fight! They roll around the ring! Cherry finally tosses McCool off her. In comes Deuce! McCool takes down Cherry again! Deuce whips McCool into the mat from behind and McCool is down. Domino has McCool! He sets her up! Here comes James! He’s got his boot! HE NAILS DICE WITH IT! DICE FALLS TO THE MAT! ROADKILL CRAWLS OVER AND MAKES THE PIN! 1…2…3!

Winners and STILL OVW Southern Tag Team Champions- Kasey James & Roadkill

C.M. Punk joins us with a segment recorded earlier today in an empty Davis Arena.

Punk: Tonight’s the night. It all happens tonight. Every single minute I have spent here in OVW, seems I’ve been locked in this epic battle against you…champ. To see who exactly the better man is. And tonight’s we’re going to find out. Because you see, in the past, you showed me a lot of things. You showed me exactly what you are in this life. And one of those things, to put it very bluntly Brent, is a great wrestler. Except tonight, you can be the best wrestler in the world and it’s not going to save you. Because this is not a wrestling match. Week in and week out for months, you’ve been taking the skin off my back. You’ve been opening me up. And you’ve been whipping me like some kind of an animal. And tonight you can’t get away, you can’t run. You can’t hide. And you can outwrestle me all you want. You can pin me a dozen times and it won’t matter because I am going to be attatched to you by your granddad’s leather strap. And you’re not going to get away. And for every time you whipped me like some piece of garbage, I’m going to get you back 10 fold. So when you wake up in the morning, you have someone else drive you to whatever hospital you have to go to because you’re not going to be able to sit up right in a car. When you turn that shower on tonight or tomorrow morning and you feel that water hit your back something you’re normally used to, and it’s going to feel like fire. It’s going to feel like someone pouring salt on every single wound. And I’m not going to stop. I’m going to keep whipping you. And then I’m going to whip you some more. Then I’m really going to whip you. Then I’m going to hurt you. And I’m going to make you pay. And then when I’m done doing that, I’m going to take something what’s so precious to you. I’m going to take that OVW Title. And the sweetest part of the deal Brent is that it’s all going to be done by these hands. These two hands that belong to the person that you hate most in this life. You don’t have what it takes to stand in front of me. You cannot stop my legacy. You don’t have the fire inside that I have. And at the end of the night, when you’re in a heap of your own blood and your entire back looks like raw hamburger, it’s all going to be done by these two hands. Me! C.M. Punk. The new OVW Heavyweight Champion.

Seth Skyfire -c- vs. Jack Bull (OVW TV Title)

Bull comes running at Skyfire with a big boot to the head as soon as the bell rings! Bull with a pin! 1..2..No! Elbow drop by Bull. Knee drop by Bull. The cover gets 2 again. Bull clubbing Skyfire’s back. Bull with a headlock. Skyfire works out of it. Elbows out. Bull clubs Skyfire’s back. Sends him to the ropes. Lifts Skyfire up. Skyfire lands on his feet! Big clotheline takes Skyfire’s head off! He covers and gets 2 again. Elbow to the back of the head by Bull. The Miz is at the entrance now and here comes Ronnie (Skyfire’s ex-girlfriend) to join him. Skyfire is punching Bull. Skyfire to the ropes. Dropkick by Skyfire takes down Jack Bull! Skyfire ducks another big boot from Bull. Another dropkick from Skyfire! Skyfire sends Bull to the ropes! Spinning back heel kick by Skyfire! Matrix dropkick by Skyfire! The cover gets 2! Bull with an Irish whip…Skyfire walks up the turnbuckles. Top rope spinning heel kick by Skyfire! Skyfire sees Miz and Ronnie. Skyfire is distracted by them. Miz and Ronnie start making out. Skyfire is out of the ring and attacks Miz! They fight to the back. The ref is counting. 1…2…3…4…Bull stops the ref and calls for the mic.

Jack Bull: This is so typical! This behemoth behavior from you Louisville demon worshipers! I am a good man! I am a righteous man! And I don’t even get the respect of a conclusion to my OVW TV Title match??? I’m calling you out Seth Skyfire! I want you, in a no disqualification! Anything goes! No holds barred! You pick the place. You pick the time. And I Jack Bull will be there. And that….is No Bull!

Skyfire is headed back to the ring and gets in Bull’s face! Skyfire says ring the bell so we are having this match now! Skyfire with a kick to the crotch! Bull falls in pain! Skyfire with a rollup! 1…2….3!

Winner And STILL OVW TV Champion- Seth Skyfire

We’re in the back now with Brent “Gunner Scott” Albright!

Albright: My name is Brent Gunner Scott Albright, and I’m the OVW Heavyweight Champion. As a matter of fact, I’m the greatest champion in OVW history. Yeah people can scream about John Cena. They can sing the praises of Batista. And everyone can go off crying about how great a man, Matt Cappotelli is. Well let’s get one thing straight. I’m tougher than Batista. I’m way cooler than John Cena. And I’m 10 times the man that Matt Cappotelli ever thought about being! And tonight C.M. Punk, it’s going to be you and me and this leather strap. You an me tied together with this leather strap. And C.M. Punk you’re going to be just another notch in my belt. Just another stepping stone. Just one more step to concrete my legacy in OVW. C.M. Punk you’re just another turn, you’re just another piece of crap that wants to be a champion that doesn’t have the guts to be one. And tonight you’re going to find out, why I’m the champ and you’re just a big loser.

We come back from break and Shad Gaspard (Da Beast) is working out.

Gaspard: So what. I’m supposed to be impressed. Because C.M. Punk whiteboy has a title shot tonight. Impressed because the champ has his grandpappy’s strap and tears the flesh off people’s backs tonight. Impressed because today must be Whiteboy day. Nah. I ain’t impressed. I’m sick. I’m disgusted. See this brother ain’t going to be held down. I ain’t gonna sit back and let two white boys go out there and slug it out. To see which one can hold this *bleep* down. I ain’t going to be held down. C.M. Whiteboy. Or The Champ. Because really, I’m going to *bleep* with someone tonight. Whoever walks out of this arena with the championship, they are going to have to deal with the HNIC. The Head *bleep* in charge. And that’s me. 6’7. 300 pounds of Brooklyn, New York rage. Shad Gaspard.

Brent Albright -c- vs. C.M. Punk (OVW Heavyweight Championship) Leather Strap Match

Punk gets strapped in first. Albright next relunctantly. They tug at the strap like a tug of war. Punk let’s Albright fall! Punk on top of Brent and starts pummelling him with punches and knees! Albright to the outside starts pacing. Albright back in and back out again. Albright trying to pull Punk out. Punk trying to pull him in. Another tug of war. Punk lets go again and Albright falls into the steel railing on the outside! Punk to the outside. Punk tries to whip him with the strap but Albright ducks it. Albright inside now and Punk on the outside. They tug on the strap again. Punk back in now and they do a short tug. Punk with a takedown lands Albright into a turnbucke. Punk rolls up the strap and gets a small whip in on Albright! Albright up quickly and distances himself. Tug of war again. Albright with a kick to the back of Punk’s knees. Punk with a series of his own. Punk winds up and goes for a whip but Albright rolls under it. Tug of war again. Albright goes for a takedown but Punk counters it and starts landing some punches. Albright with some punches. Punk with some more .Scoop slam by Punk! He’s got a handful of strap! Albright JUST rolls out of the way. Albright to the outside. Punk yanks Albright into the ring post!

The ref has to reattach the strap on Albright. Punk with a boot to the gut. Rolls Albright back in. Albright rolls back out. Punk chases him. Albright back in the ring and Punk stares him down from the outside. Punk back into the ring slowly but Albright lands a dropkick and Punk falls to the outside. Albright with several punches on Punk on the outside. Punk slams Albright into the ring apron! Punk has a hand ful of strap! HE NAILS ALBRIGHT WITH THE STRAP! AND AGAIN! Albright trying to get back into the ring by climbing the post. Punk gives chase but Albright kicks him down. Albright to the middle rope. Punk yanks on the strap and pulls Albright down into the ring barricade! And we’re going to a break!

Punk tosses Albright back into the ring. Punk starts choking Albright with the strap in the middle of the ring. Punk with several forearms to the back of the head. Albright begs off. Punk staring at Albright and gets a handful of strap again! Punk charges but Albright with a low blow! Albright to the ropes and clotheline with the strap takes down Punk! Albright with a handful of strap. He measures Punk and nails him square in the eye. Albright wraps the strap around Punk’s neck. NECKBREAKER WITH THE STRAP AROUND PUNK’S NECK! Albright slaps one turnbuckle! Goes for a second but Punk yanks on the strap. Albright with Punk. Side suplex! Albright slaps one turnbuckle! 2 turnbuckles! Goes for a third but Punk yanks the strap again. Albright comes over and starts stomping on Punk. Albright has a handful of strap and starts whipping Punk! And again! SICK! AND AGAIN! ALBRIGHT HITS ONE TURNBUCKLE! TWO! THREE TURNBUCKLES! GOES FOR THE FOURTH! NO! Punk yanks the strap! Albright with a kick while Punk is on his knees. Albright with some punches. Another low blow by Albright! Albright blows his nose on Punk! Gross! Hits one turnbuckle! Two turnbuckles! Three Turnbuckles! Goes for the 4th! Punk stops him again! Tug of war. Albright charges! POWERSLAM BY PUNK! BOTH MEN DOWN!

Both men stagger up. Albright up first! He hits one turnbukcle! Two turnbuckles! Three turnbuckles! Inches away from the 4th! NO! PUNK YANKS THE STRAP BETWEEN ALBRIGHT’S LEGS AND GETS A LOW BLOW OF HIS OWN! PUNK WRAPS HIS HAND WITH THE STRAP AND PULLS ALBRIGHT TO HIM! NAILS A FIST! AND ANOTHER! CLOTHELINE WITH THE STRAP! SENDS ALBRIGHT TO THE TURNBUCKLE! OFF THE ROPES AND BIG CLOTHELINE FROM PUNK! PUNK WITH A RUNNING KNEE LIFT! Irish whip by Punk! Runs in with a knee and now a bulldog by Punk!

Punk to his feet! He wraps the strap around! WHIPS ALBRIGHT OVER AND OVER AGAIN! AND SOME MORE! AND SOME MORE! AND ANOTHER! OVER AND OVER AND OVER! HE’S WHIPPING HIM LIKE HE’S IN THE DERBY! PUNK WRAPS THE STRAP AROUND ALBRIGHT! HE’S PULL ALBRIGHT AROUND THE RING WITH THE STRAP AROUND ALBRIGHT’S NECK! PUNK HITS ONE TURNBUCKLE! TWO TURNBUCKLES! THREE TURNBUCKLES! PUNK DRAGGING ALBRIGHT TO THE FOURTH! HE REACHES! ALBRIGHT IS TRYING TO PULL HIM AWAY! ALBRIGHT HAS PUNK BY THE BOOT! PUNK LOOKS DOWN AND LUNGES FORWARD! FOUR TURNBUCKLES! NEW CHAMPION!!!!!

Winner And NEW OVW Heavyweight Champion- C.M. Punk

Punk hugs the title and laughs and smiles! Punk kisses the title and celebrates with the crowd as he runs around the ring and celebrates in the center of the ring!