Dark Pegasus Video Review: TNA Wrestling — Victory Road 2004

TNA Victory Road 2004 — 11.07.04

From Orlando, Fla.

Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Don West.

We open with a brief video package introducing new viewers to the TNA superstars.

20-Man X Gauntlet.
This is basically the same as the Royal Rumble only with 20 guys instead of 30 and one-minute time limits. Once we get to the final two, pinfalls count. Winner is supposed to get a shot at the X-Title. Kazarian is #1. Sonjay Dutt is #2. Kazarian tosses Dutt to the apron, but Dutt flips back in with a rana and a Tornado DDT. Dutt tries to throw him out, but Kazarian grabs the ropes. Puma is #3. He peppers Dutt with kicks, but Dutt hits him with a rana off the second rope. Puma drops Sonjay on his head with a Screwdriver, and he and Kazarian team up. LA Park is #4. He brings a chair to the ring and nails everyone with it. Of course, he spends the rest of his time dancing and taking his jacket off, so no one is eliminated. Jerrelle Clark is #5. He hits an immediate rana on Dutt and handsprings into a corkscrew moonsault. Puma catches him with a series of kicks. I like Puma. I think he will do well in the future. I think it’s the mask.

Miyamoto is #6. He and Puma go right at each other with a martial arts battle. Miyamoto hits the enzuigiri. Jerrelle knocks Puma off the ropes and hits his 630 Senton. Of course, Kazarian levels him with a dropkick while he’s posing. Matt Bentley is #7. He and his partner Kazarian team up to toss Puma. Clark tries to jump them, but they toss him out on Puma. There goes Miyamoto too, leaving Kazarian and Bentley to battle Dutt and Park. Hector Garza is #8. That evens things up a bit as Garza and Park team up. Dutt, who is the only one without a partner, picks a fight with them and pays for it. Nosawa is #9. He and Garza go at it until LA Park makes the save for his countryman. Mikey Batts is #10. He hits Kazarian with a Wheelbarrow Stunner but runs into a belly-to-belly from Bentley.

Alex Shelley is #11. Dutt tries to skin the cat, but Shelley dropkicks him out anyway. LA Park gets backdropped to the floor. Matt Sydal is #12. He moonsaults off of Shelley’s back and breaks him down. Sydal dropsaults Garza in the corner as Sonny Siaki comes in at #13. He belly-to-bellies Kazarian into the turnbuckle. There goes Nosawa, backdropped over by Siaki. Batts dropkicks Garza but makes the mistake of charging and gets monkey flipped over. Jason Cross is #14. He takes Siaki down with a headscissors and again with a rana. Sydal misses a corkscrew quebrada and gets leveled with a clothesline by Baby Rock. Alex Shelley has been out of the ring for a while now, tending to his injured back. Cult hero Shark Boy is #15. Cross sets Sydal out on the outside, but Siaki hits him long enough for Sydal to springboard back into a clothesline. Shelley waits for Sydal to come near him and then yanks him out.

Psicosis is #16. Garza hits him with a German Suplex. D-Ray 3000 is in at #17. He and Shark Boy team up for a Bushwhacker battering ram. Unfortunately, they charge at Cross and Shelley and get backdropped to the apron. As they’re getting back in, Siaki double-clotheslines them to the floor. Oh, and you can bet the crowd loves that one. Psicosis wheelbarrows Cross into a Garza dropkick. Amazing Red is #18. He goes right after Siaki. It’s like a poor man’s Mysterio vs. Rock. Cross tosses Alex Shelley. Psicosis jumps Cross and crotches him on the top rope, setting him up for a spinning wheel kick off the top. Spanky is #19, and he goes right after Bentley in a feud that’s been going on for years. A flying clothesline knocks Bentley down, and Spanky follows up with a springboard elbow. Chris Sabin is #20. He Tornado DDTs Kazarian. Siaki takes on both Sabin and Spanky because SIAKI IS GOD! If you disagree, then you’re wrong! Of course, God apparently can’t take a dropkick spot correctly and fails to fall to the floor, so Sabin and Spanky have to improvise with a double clothesline to put him out. Spanky reverse ranas Bentley to the floor. Poor Matt Bentley. He’s always been Spanky’s bitch. Psicosis drops Cross with a Screwdriver. Then, everyone sets up for the big, goofy powerbomb/superplex spot. The crowd loves that. Psicosis gives Cross an Inverted DDT and clotheslines him to the floor. Red and Psicosis go a it, and Psicosis gets enzuigiried to the floor. Kazarian and Red go to the apron, and Kazarian kicks him off for the elimination.

That leaves Spanky, Sabin, Kazarian and Garza as your final four. Spanky goes for Sliced Bread #2 on Sabin, so Sabin tosses him to the floor. Kazarian goes up top, but Sabin bounds to the top and German Tosses him into Garza. Sabin knocks Kazarian to the apron with a springboard missile dropkick. Garza crotches Sabin on the top rope and dropkicks him to the floor. That leaves Kazarian and Garza. They slug it out, and Kazarian hits a leg sweep. Garza hits a breathtakingly beautiful moonsault, but it only gets two. Kazarian slingshots into a DDT for two. Garza rolls through a reverse rollup and delivers a low dropkick. He goes up again, but this time he misses the Tornado Corkscrew. Kazarian Oklahoma Rolls him into a cradle pin, but Garza rolls him back over for the pin at 26:27. Garza never did get his title shot after this. The match was everything good and bad about the X-Division. Lots of goofy spots that don’t make a lot of sense and a lot of high-flying action. ***1/4

Dusty Rhodes campaign spot for Director of Authority.

Scott Hudson lets us know there has been an internet server meltdown in Stamford, Conn., so it could affect the election between Russo and Rhodes. Well, considering Russo was so bad in WCW that there were rumors he was sent by Vince to sabotage the place and Dusty once wanted to put the World Title on Rick Steiner at Starrcade, I’m not sure who the people in Stamford would want. Kid Kash, Dallas & the Naturals interrupt and say some unimportant stuff.

8-Man Tag: Johnny B. Badd, Erik Watts, Ron Killings & Pat Kenney vs. Kid Kash, Dallas & The Naturals.
Lots of armdrags to start. Watts tags in, but Chase Stevens clips his knee out from under him. Dallas tags in, and we get a battle of the big men. Katie, leave the door open! Watts chokeslams Dallas but takes a sideslam. Dallas misses a moonsault on Kenny, and the Truth opens a can of whup-ass. Watts sends Dallas to the floor. It winds up with Badd and Andy Douglas in there, and Badd busts out the huracanrana. Killings finishes with the Pedigree at 4:38. **

Shane Douglas tries to get a word with Kevin Nash in his limo until a security guard assures him Nash isn’t in there. Suddenly, Shane just wants to talk to whoever’s in the limo. Great, a face-to-face with a bunch of kids at their prom.

Mascarita Sagrada vs. Pirata Morgan.
Of all the ideas the WWE could rip off from TNA, they chose the Juniors division. Anyway, they do a bunch of mini-lucha stuff. Sagrada gets a quebradita on the outside. Crowd chants to get the ladder. Oh, you tall, cruel bastards. Tenay notes that promoters actually considered booking Rey Mysterio Jr. as a midget years ago. So we could see Mascarita Sagrada at WrestleMania XXV? Sagrada finishes with an armdrag to a crucifix after a few minutes of comedy. (2:59) 1/2*

3LK has words for Team Canada. I have no idea what those words are or what they mean. I saw some hand gestures, though. These guys must be “cold” as, I believe, the kids say these days.

Scott Hall brings the PPV to a screeching halt by announcing that Kevin Nash will *not* be here tonight. He reminds us that he invented the ladder match. Does Nova know about this? As a result of inventing both the ladder and the match derived from said ladder, Hall says he has a vested interest in the outcome of tonight’s main event.

NWA Tag Titles: Team Canada (w/Scotty D’Amore) vs. 3 Live Crew.
This is the Eric Young & Bobby Roode version of Team Canada. Oddly enough, Roode reminds me a little of Billy Gunn. BG James dominates both men but misses a flying crossbody. Has anyone hit a flying crossbody since Ricky Steamboat retired? James plays face-in-peril for a bit. Tenay brings up the fact that Young was trained by Waldo Von Erich. Say, where is Waldo? They work in the false tag spot as James powers toward his own corner, but the ref is putting Roode out of the ring and doesn’t see it. They even work in the Rockers/Orient Express spot from the Rumble as Team Canada tries to crosscheck BG with the Canadian flag, but he dives on it, smashing their heads together. Hot tag to Konnan! Konnan slaps on the Tequila Sunrise. Roode tries for the Northern Lariat, but Konnan breaks it up. Ron Killings keeps D’Amore from interfering, and Roode does hit that Northern Lariat. Konnan hits the K Factor, though, and picks up the win and the titles at 6:58. Thankfully, Konnan stuff was kept to a minimum. The wrong team went over, but the idea was that Young and Roode weren’t fit for the titles anyway. **1/4

Raven is stuck in his sensory-depravation room and starts rambling moreso than usual.

Vince Russo campaign spot. I think the fact that Russo’s own campaign spot makes you want to slap the living hell out of him speaks volumes about the outcome they wanted here.

In the Pit With Piper.

You know what’s apparently really hard to find? A hexagonal plaid carpet. Roddy Piper comes out and introduces the legendary Jimmy Snuka. It would have been more special if the WWE hadn’t molded an angle around them a year earlier. Piper invites Snuka to hit him with a coconut because he can’t live with what he did anymore. Kid Kash interrupts and questions Snuka’s high-flying credentials. Kash tries to punch him, but Snuka blocks and throttles him. Kazarian and Shane jump Snuka from behind. Sonjay Dutt makes the save. Kash has the coconut, though, and cracks Sonjay’s head with it. Suddenly, Shane and Karazarian are like, “Dude, that’s not cool.” Huh?

In the back, Monty Brown gets a little stir crazy.

Recap of Vince Russo making a match between Trinity and…

Trinity (w/The New York Connection) vs. Jacqueline
Trinity gets on the mic and complains that no one has shown up, but Jacqueline hits the ring and attacks from behind. Gilberti & Swinger catch Trinity off a toss, but Jackie flies out on all three of them. Tenay reminds us that Jacqueline recently beat Chavo Guerrero for the WWE Cruiserweight Title. Thank you for that one, Mike. Back in, Trnity gets two off a kick to the head. A released German suplex gets two, but Gilberti pulls Jackie off the cover. Swinger snaps her neck off the top rope, and that sets up a moonsault from Trinity for the win at 1:51. 1/2*

In the back, Scott Hudson tells us that he’s called in Katherine Harris to make sure the Florida vote is on the up and up. Yeah, why don’t you just put Jack Abramoff in charge of campaign finance reform. Christopher Daniels and Elix Skipper come in and talk about their new attitude and how they’ll have no mercy on AMW.

Monster’s Ball: Abyss vs. Monty Brown vs. Raven.
The idea behind the Monster’s Ball is that you put all the participants in a sensory-depravation room until they go nuts, then you turn them loose on one another. Why they don’t just save time and use PCP, I’ll never know. Raven goes after Abyss while Brown is still doing his entrance thing. Abyss crotches Raven on the barrier and knocks him into the crowd. High atop the arena, a mystery man looks on. To the ring, Raven drop toeholds Abyss into a chair. He tries the same thing with Monty, but Brown picks up the chair and throws it in his face. A T-Bone suplex sets up the fallaway slam from Brown. Brown sets up for the Pounce but takes out the referee instead. Abyss gets in but takes a powerslam from Brown. Brown charges, but he runs into Raven who was standing on the apron. Abyss catches him with the Black Hole Slam, but there’s no referee. Abyss dumps a bagful of thumbtacks in the ring and tries to superplex Brown onto them. Instead, Raven sneaks in and POWERBOMBS Abyss on the tacks. It only gets two. Raven knocks Abyss off the apron, through a table, but he turns right around into Brown who POUNCES him through another table in the ring. That’s enough for the win at 9:25. The match had some crazy stuff, but they really didn’t sell the psychology behind the idea, which was they were supposed to be these unhinged, feral guys in there. Instead, it was just a normal hardcore match among three guys. ***

Outside, an angry Shane Douglas tries once again to get a word with whoever is in the limo.

X-Title: Petey Williams (w/Scott D’Amore) vs. AJ Styles.
If Williams loses, D’Amore has to leave TNA. Both guys come out with good intensity, going hard and fast after pinfalls. Petey trips him down, but AJ comes back with the kip up rana and drills him with a dropkick. Petey avoids a moonsault on the floor but can’t avoid the enzuigiri. AJ bounds out on him with a no-hands somersault plancha. Back in, Williams distracts the ref while D’Amore takes a cheapshot. Williams busts out the Tommy Dreamer tree-of-woe crotch stand. AJ tries a quebrada but catches Williams in the head with his foot. I doubt that was what he was going for, judging by his reaction. Petey locks him in the tree-of-woe for another crotch stomp, but AJ counters to a Spider German. Petey charges and gets caught with a Pelé. Petey tosses him in desperation, but AJ springboards back in with a forearm for two. D’Amore is about to have a heart attack. Williams counters a tilt-o-whirl to a Russian Leg Sweep. He gets cocky, though, and AJ is able to counter the Canadian Destroyer to the Styles Clash. Williams counters again, but AJ rams him into the corner. D’Amore grabs the belt at ringside. AJ Jackknife Rolls Williams, but the ref stops in mid-count to reprimand D’Amore for being on the apron. That’s so stupid. AJ wonders what’s what, and D’Amore distracts the ref while Williams clocks AJ with the title. ONE, TWO, THR-NO! AJ sets him on the top turnbuckle, but D’Amore grabs his ankle. From there, it’s easy for Williams to come off the turnbuckle into the CANADIAN DESTROYER! That’s enough to keep the title at 9:51. Silly WWE-style booking and a lack of equality in offense held this one back from being anything special. **3/4

In the back, Jeff Hardy puts make-up on his face and goes from David Banner to the Gay Hulk.

Last Team Standing Match: Triple X vs. America’s Most Wanted.
The storyline is they hate each other. Once you’re pinned, you have a ten count to get up. This is also elimination rules. Inside, Storm hits a reverse suplex, and AMW gets a Hart Attack. Storm hits Daniels with, and they go for the Death Sentence. Skipper pushes his partner out of the way and takes the legdrop himself. Storm gives Daniels a swinging Schwein for the first fall at 1:47. Daniels makes it up, though. XXX takes over with doubleteams on Harris. They hit the powerplex for two. There is one woman trying to start a chant in the front row. That’s kind of sad. Not that she’s trying, but that I can hear her. Harris comes back with a flying lariat and tags Storm. Storm gets two off a powerslam on Elix. XXX hits Storm with a neckbreaker/powerbomb combo and gets the pin at 5:33. Some kid in the audience shouts “take it home, this match sucks.” Shut up! I’m sure they’d rather take your mom home. Storm makes it up, but Daniels destroys his injured knee with a chair shot. He gets another pin at 6:10, finally eliminating Storm and turning it into a 2-on-1. Daniels hits the uranage, but the Best Moonsault Ever misses. Harris spears him, pushes Primetime to the floor, and gets a legdrop off the second rope to finish Daniels at 7:36. Now it’s down to Skipper and Harris. Primetime goes for the Play of the Day, but Harris counters (eventually) to a powerbomb. Skipper messes up the Play of the Day and gets a chair. Harris kicks it away from him and hits the Catatonic (swinging uranage) on the chair for the alleged three count at 11:15. Skipper, for some reason that may or may not be concussion, kicked out, but the ref no-sells it and counts ten. Woof! This sucked after Storm and Daniels were eliminated. Way too sloppy, and it’s amazing they got another opportunity in an even more dangerous match. And the even more amazing thing is how they delivered there! *

Mike Tenay gets in the ring and announces that Dusty Rhodes has won the Director of Authority election (apparently for a term of six months).

You’d have to be stoned not to see the screwjob tipped by the video package. Of course, Hardy didn’t see it, so…

NWA Heavyweight Title, Ladder Match: Jeff Jarrett vs. Jeff Hardy.
Jarrett attacks early, but Hardy whips him into the ladders set up in the ring. Hardy sandwiches him in between the ladder and tries to crack him like a nut. Jarrett comes back and whips Hardy into the ladder. He drapes Hardy across the ladder as the crowd starts dueling chants. Jarrett hits him with a ladder shot that sends Hardy onto a passing referee. Odd-but-cool thing: Tenay not only references Scott Hall’s ladder match past but mentions WrestleMania and Shawn Michaels, basically adopting WWE history as part of TNA. Considering the WWE barely acknowledges their own history, it’s nice to see that kind of depth brought to a match…even this one. Jarrett goes up, but Hardy dropkicks the ladder out from under him. SWANTON ON THE LADDER! Scott Hall runs down and gives Hardy the Outsider’s Edge off the ladder. Security surrounds Hall and makes him sit down at ringside. Jeff makes it to his feet first and sets up the ladders in a see-saw position. Jarrett tries to superplex him, but Hardy blocks and comes off the top, see-sawing the ladder into Jarrett’s chin (in theory). Hardy actually sells the move more than Jarrett. Hall tries to keep Hardy outside while Jarrett goes up, but Hardy returns and shoves the ladder over. Jarrett crotches himself on the top rope but shoves the ladder over and sends Hardy out on top of Scott Hall. Hall and Jarrett stop to make out or check on each other or something, so Jeff springboards off a ladder into a plancha. Hardy grabs a 20′ ladder, and they both fight on it until it tips over, crashing on Scott Hall. Hall’s catching a worse beating than either participant. Back in the ring, both guys climb ladders, and Hardy kicks him in the nuts. He botches a powerbomb. Twice. Hardy goes up, but Scott Hall comes in with a chair. Hardy blocks and hits the TWIST OF FATE! Jarrett grabs the chair and pastes Hardy with it. Now, Jarrett climbs the ladder, but Kevin Nash saunters down to the ring with a pair of guitars. AND HE’S IN HIS JAMMIES! Well, Jarrett has one guitar. Nash has one. Now he hands one to Hall. Hmm. They each hit Hardy with a guitar shot, sending him crashing to the mat. Jarrett grabs the title for the retention at 18:34. Hall and Nash call out anyone who wants a piece of them. AJ Styles answers the call! He takes on all three men, but they eventually swarm him. 3LK hit the ring, but Hall and Nash make short work of them. Suddenly, the lights go out and Randy Savage comes down as we run out of time. The match was overbooked six ways from…well, it was on a Sunday, so…I’m confused. Anyway, it was okay but not great, especially with Hardy botching spot after spot and Jarrett’s ego-stroking. **3/4

The 411: It should have been a launching pad for a new era with a new champion to carry the promotion and new stars to build around. Instead, it was just recycling old hits. Russo used this exact angle during Nitro's 2000 restart almost shot-for-shot with Savage's feet getting out of the limo. The "Bash at the Beach" feeling they were going for had been rehashed by both WCW and the WWE over and over again, so there was nothing special there. And besides, three of the guys involved in the main event are flakes. It's worth a look for historical purposes, but "Victory Road" really stands as missed opportunity for a fledgling franchise. Very mild thumbs up.

Final Score:  5.5   [ Not So Good ]