Dark Pegasus Video Review: SHIMMER Vol. 5

SHIMMER Women Athletes Vol. 5 by J.D. Dunn May 21, 2006 From Berwyn, Ill. Your hosts are Dave Prazak and Allison Danger. Daizee Haze is shocked, SHOCKED I SAY, that Rebecca Knox would have the ovaries to challenge her to a rematch after the ass-kicking she received on Vol. 4. Actually, Knox controlled that match for the most part, but that fact really doesn’t work with the promo. Bonus Match: Portia Perez vs. Daizee Haze. I review this for reasons that will be obvious to you at the end of the match. Portia “To Catch a Predator” Perez is the one everyone always says looks like a 12-year-old girl. This is not much of a match. It was just taped to be a free download from the SHIMMER website. Portia hits a huracanrana, but otherwise it’s all Daizee, and she finishes Perez with the Heart Punch and Mind Trip at 2:29. 1/4* However! Rebecca Knox runs out and gives Haze a T-Bone Driver to send a message for their upcoming rematch. Knox gets on the mic and says she’s the shizzle my nizzles in her wacky Irish accent. Ha ha! Knox is such a cunt. I’m so in love with her. Knox and Haze have a pull-apart all the way to the back. Opening Match: Rain vs. Lorelei Lee. Lee is the rookie here, doing a country gimmick (which really isn’t much of a gimmick). Rain is half of the Minnesota Home-Wrecking Crew and the woman you see watching Robert Roode matches from the stands on TNA. Hopefully, by the time you read this, she’ll have actually done something. It’s TNA, though, so you never know. Lee controls with a lot of old-school Steamboat-ish stuff. She even busts out the handspring back elbow. Rain hits an inverted Lungblower (The Codebreaker) to take control. Lee takes an ass-kicking before she comes back with dropkicks and the Triple Verticals. She goes up top, but Rain catches her with the Acid Rain at 9:20. Nothing really wrong with it from a technical standpoint. It was just kind of there. * Recap of MsChif misting Cheerleader Melissa and picking up the win at the six-woman mayhem match at Ring of Honor’s Supercard of Honor. Cindy Rogers vs. MsChif. Both ladies were faces coming in, but MsChif winds up playing heel here. Rogers does her Bret Hart act early with some good mat wrestling. You know, it’s odd how few indy wrestlers copy Bret. There are dozens of Benoits, Shawn Michaelses, and AJs, but very few people that you can point to and say, “that’s from Bret Hart.” MsChif chokes Rogers against the ropes, but Cindy comes back with a surfboard stretch. MsChif gets several nearfalls off an Inverted Figure-Four Leglock (the Haas of Pain). She can’t hold the bridge, though, so she hits a bodyscissors takeover into a pseudo-Mutalock. The Desecrator finishes Rogers at 7:59. Good mat wrestling, but they never picked up the pace at the end. **1/4 Nikita wants to prove that the English lasses are just as tough as the Americans. Serena Deeb vs. Amber O’Neal. Both O’Neal and Deeb are wearing pink, which is a major faux pas on Deeb’s point as far as Amber is concerned. Deeb outwrestles her early, so O’Neal calls for a test of strength and then chops her in the chest. Deeb fires back with chops of her own, but Amber ducks and trips her up. Deeb hits a series of rollups, trying to put Amber away early. Amber survives, though, and ducks out of the way of a corner charge. Amber, ever the bitch, applies a legscissor Full Nelson and does some sit-ups while she has her in the hold. Loses a bit of the effect since Rebecca Knox did basically the same spot on the last volume. Rebecca fires back and hits a flying bulldog. She hits a short spear, but O’Neal makes the ropes. Amber hits an STO to come back. Deeb rolls her over into a crucifix for two, but Amber rolls her up again and grabs a handful of tights. Deeb’s shoulders aren’t really down, so the pin is awkward. The ref eventually just counts her down at 8:13. The match was okay otherwise. Amber is a great heel, and Serene is a good plucky babyface. ** Malia Hosaka & Lexie Fyfe vs. Ariel & Josie. Josie is a Chicago native, so she’s immediately over with the home crowd. Ariel starts and fires off a series of rollups, trying to pin the vets early. Josie tags in, and they hit a double hiptoss. Malia goes to the eyes, though, and the heels take over on Josie. Josie hits an enzuigiri to get out of trouble, though. Ariel gets the hot tag, but Malia grabs a handful of her hair to toss her across the ring. Ariel plays face-in-peril as Malia puts her in a bodyscissors and strangles her with her own headband. Ariel gets her knees up to block a splash. HOT TAG TO JOSIE! Josie cleans house, but Hosaka goes to the eyes *again*! The heels set up for a doubleteam backdrop, but Josie sunset flips them. Fyfe tries to keep Hosaka from going over, but Ariel recovers and hits her with a crossbody so Josie can complete the move. That is *so* Rock ‘n’ Rolls vs. Midnights. It only gets two, though. Ariel misses a splash and eats a doubleteam gourdbuster at 11:55. This was textbook tag wrestling. With a little more varied movesets, this could have been really good. **1/2 Allison Danger vs. Cheerleader Melissa. This should be good. Melissa grabs a waistlock, but Danger armdrags out of it. Melissa looks irritated and shakes out her shoulder. They slug it out with forearms. Melissa wins and stomps her down for her insolence. She sets up for the Kudoh Driver, but Allison sits down to counter it to an inverted backslide for two. Melissa stays on top with a surfboard, but Danger powers out of it. Melissa reverses again but can’t lift her up for a suplex. Danger hits a facebuster and a running knee to the head. A neckbreaker gets two. Danger blocks a charge but gets rocked with a forearm. Melissa charges again and hits a running forearm. She goes for an Inverted Cloverleaf, but MsChif runs down and roots on Danger. Melissa stops to have words with her, allowing Danger to recover and small package Melissa for the win at 9:45. I don’t like that finish when the men do it; I don’t like it here. The match was disappointingly slow. After the match, MsChif and Melissa have a pull-apart brawl with the locker room clearing to separate them. ** Amazing Kong vs. Nikki Roxx. Kong knocks Nikki on her ass with the PRIMAL SCREAM! Nikki tries to show she won’t be intimidated but misses a dropkick and gets splashed. Kong continues to destroy Nikki methodically. Nikki comes back with a flying forearm and a figure-four. Kong makes the ropes and kicks her away. An avalanche and cocky cover get two. Nikki uses a couple of shoulderblocks to knock her down, but Kong kicks out and slaps her right in the face. A second avalanche misses, and Nikki starts throwing corner dropkicks. Kong no-sells a missile dropkick and drops Nikki on her head with a powerbomb. Kong misses a charge and tumbles to the floor. Nikki comes off the top with a crossbody. Back in, she tries a flying huracanrana, but Kong drops her. A double-underhook facebuster gets two, and Kong SQUASHES her with a second-rope splash. ONE, TWO, TH-Kong picks her up. Nikki nearly makes her pay for it with a pair of rollups, but Kong hits the backfirst and the Awesome Bomb at 10:40. Kong definitely stands out among the SHIMMER roster, and it’s no surprise that she immediately became the talk of the promotion. This wasn’t exactly a squash, but there was never a moment where you thought Nikki had a chance either. **1/2 Lacey vs. Nikita. Lacey objects to filthy perverts taking her picture. Lots of stalling follows. Nikita looks like a wrestling Shania Twain. Lacey takes her down into a front facelock. Nikita comes back with a curbstomp. Lacey blocks a rollup, but Nikita flips her over and hits a tilt-o-whirl backbreaker. Lacey bails for a breather. Lacey takes her down with an arm-scissors. Nikita comes back with a flurry of rollups, but Lacey chops her in the corner. Nikita eats turnbuckle on a monkey flip attempt. Nikita ducks a swing and hits a neckbreaker, all in one motion. A missile dropkick sets up a Samoan Drop from Nikita. That gets two, but Lacey counters the cover to a Dragon Sleeper. Nikita makes the ropes and gets two off an enzuigiri. Lacey hits a reverse DDT for two, but Nikita catches her with the Uranage Backbreaker to pick up the win at 14:53. Lots of good moves and a fast-paced match, but every time I thought it was going down one path, it abruptly shifted gears. Sometimes less is more. **1/4 Serendipity being what it is, just a few short weeks after I posted this in the queue, rumors began popping up that young Nikita would indeed be called up to Raw as Paul Burchill’s sister — Katie Lea. 2/3 Falls: Rebecca Knox vs. Daizee Haze. First Fall: They get jiggy with it early – with actual jigs. Knox loses out according to the crowd, so she just wants to wrestle. Daizee takes her down into a modified Indian Deathlock. Knox reverses to a Mutalock. Mucho leg submission moves follow from both women. Rebecca comes out if it with a headlock, but Daizee counters with a bodyscissors and Full Nelson. Knox reverses that to a reverse Indian Deathlock. Daizee makes the ropes and trips her on a dropdown. She tries an Oklahoma Roll, but they’re in the ropes. Knox bails, so Daizee hits a tope. They chop it out, won by Knox. Knox whips her into the steel railing and breaks the count. Back in, Rebecca misses guillotine legdrop and hurts her gluts. Funny. Daizee misses a missile dropkick but connects with the Heart Punch and a Yakuza Kick at 17:22. Second Fall: Rebecca’s protestation about Daizee getting germs all over her water bottle is pretty funny. Daizee takes her down into a Butterfly Facelock. Knox reverses and folds her in half with a leg-scissor bridge. Daizee takes her down into a headscissors, but Knox reverses and stomps her legs. A boot to the face knocks the Haze down. Knox rolls her up and grabs a handful of ropes at 23:11. Third Fall: Haze is pissed about the cheating, so she hangs Knox in the tree-of-woe and hits a running knee. Rebecca comes back with a double-jump dropkick. Haze rolls her up into a Camel Clutch and then the Gedo Clutch for two. An O’Connor Roll gets two. The Yakuza Kick misses, but Haze improvises with a sunset flip. Knox takes her down into a side leglock and grabs another handful of ropes. Daizee is too weak to get her shoulders off the canvas and gets counted down at 28:04. Awesome! Not only are these two fantastic wrestlers, they are diametrically opposed on the face-heel spectrum. Knox is SUCH a bitch and, at only 19, was already one of the best in-ring female wrestlers in the world. Daizee is completely the “girl next door” and just looks so innocent (outside of the pot use). They just work well together. ***3/4 After the match, Allison Danger “leaves the announce position” and tells Rebecca that, since she likes using the ropes so much, they’ll meet in a Pure Wrestling match on Vol. 6. No Time Limit: Sara Del Rey vs. Mercedes Martinez. These two had a time-limit draw on Volume One, thus necessitating the stips here. They wrestle to a standstill early on. They exchange vertical suplexes and get in each other’s faces. Martinez takes it to the mat with a leglock. Sara tries to counter to a cross armlock, but Martinez blocks. They reverse and reverse and reverse again with Mercedes coming out of it with a half-crab. They’re in the ropes, though. Mercedes blocks a Mexican Surfboard, so Del Rey simply hops up and applies a camel clutch. Mercedes starts to get a little heelish, using the hair and choking Del Rey in the corner. Del Rey blocks the Fisherman’s Buster and hits a forearm for two. Mercedes blocks the Butterfly Lock and backdrops her. Martinez hits a sick Inverted Brainbuster (which looks more like a botched suplex) for two. Del Rey comes back with a strait-jacket suplex for two and sets Martinez on top. BUTTERFLY SUPERPLEX! ONE, TWO, THR-NO! Martinez hits a desperation backdrop suplex for a double KO spot. Del Rey knocks her off the apron and wipes Martinez out with a suicida. Back in, Martinez rolls her into a Mr. Salty. Del Rey manages to squirm and push her over onto her shoulders for the win at 21:56. Del Rey offers a rematch any time Mercedes wants it. Good back-and-forth action. It’s probably a little too 1970s for most of today’s fans, but if you have an attention span, you’ll like it. *** Hosaka & Fyfe put over their experience as a reason that they will dominate. Prazak announces MsChif vs. Cheerleader Melissa in a Last Woman Standing match for Vol. 6. Lacey interrupts Mercedes Martinez to say she’s bored with Martinez against Del Rey. So she’s challenging Mercedes to a tag match with the Minnesota Home-Wrecking Crew. Unfortunately for Lacey, she says it a little too loud, and Sara Del Rey overhears. We get the MHWC against Del Rey & Martinez for Vol. 6.

The 411: Most of the undercard was hovering around the average mark, but the last two matches warrant a purchase. The 2/3 falls match was the best wrestling women's match I've seen since the fall of Japanese women's wrestling. Definitely try to watch that match at least once. Solid thumbs up.
Final Score:  7.0   [ Good ]