wrestling / Columns
Wrestling’s 4R’s 05.23.11: Impact and Smackdown Reviewed
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In HD where available…
By: Jeremy Thomas
IMPACT Wrestling! 05.19.11:
QUICK RESULTS:
Tara, Mickie James & Miss Tessmacher def. Sarita, Rosita & Madison Rayne [* ¾]
Abyss def. Kazarian [**]
Samoa Joe murdered Amazing Red [½ *]
Eric Bischoff & Matt Hardy def. Generation Me [**]
Velvet Sky def. Angelina Love & Winter [* ¾]
SARITA, ROSITA & MISS MADISON RAYNE vs. TARA, MICKIE JAMES & MISS TESSMACHER: A six-person tag team match is always something that could go terribly wrong, no matter which company you’re seeing. Time is a concern and the follow of the match just doesn’t tend to go as well. This wasn’t too terrible, despite the fact that it was a bit abbreviated from the time it got. It had a few sloppy moments but for the most part it worked very well for what it needed to do, which is tease the Madison/Tara feud a bit more without having them actually come to blows and get the faces some momentum. It did that well enough.
ABYSS vs. KAZARIAN: This was an X-Division title match as an attempt to try and destroy the X-Division. Of course this played out in the standard “David vs. Goliath” way; Kazarian got some plucky offense in and played hit and run until Abyss took over, Kazarian fights back some more and so on. As a formula match it worked out fairly well; they did play Kazarian as an equal to Abyss and that’s a good thing. Abyss is no longer anywhere near a main event player but he is still an upper midcard and Kaz looked like he belonged in there. Obviously the idea of Abyss as X-Division Champion is silly, but the division has always been no weight limits and Samoa Joe was an X-Division champion. So was Kurt Angle. None of these guys got huge complaints about their title reigns. This was fine, the match was decent and whoever beats Abyss for the belt will get a rub if it’s done right. Works for me.
ANGELINA LOVE & WINTER vs. VELVET SKY: We got some implied lesbian hints in the segment before this match between Angelina and Winter. Nothing wrong with that. Velvet actually looked decent in there as she put on a solid effort both bumping and delivering offense. It wasn’t a five-star classic or anything but it accomplished what it needed to, to be sure. The point here was to build Velvet up and I thought it did a great job at that, both pitting her against two legit wrestlers and giving her the upset win. It was a fluke win to be sure, but a win nonetheless. ODB’s attack after the match was a bit odd, but hey, it’s nice to see her back.
RIC FLAIR CALLS OUT ROBERT ROODE: Flair came down near the end of the show and called out Roode. Robert came out and hit the ring as they reminded us that Roode was the guy who injured Ric at Lockdown. Flair cut a good promo about how he’s been unable to sleep since Roode did that and how he thought he could get away with it. Roode responded with a great promo saying it was business and they needed to move on. Roode basically said it was his time, and Flair said his time wasn’t over yet. I see some real potential to this, and they managed to get Roode to slap on the armbar before Immortal came down and beat the crap out of him. I thought this played out well and the promo between the two was great. No complaints.
BISCH vs. THE X-DIVISION: Impact kicked off with Immortal coming down to the ring in the new IMPACT Zone. It looks very…blue. Someone had made the comment that TNA changed from a Raw rip-off to a Smackdown rip-off, but honestly that’s not necessarily a bad image for the company to convey, especially if “Wrestling Matters.” Bischoff cut a show taking credit for the change in look and saying how they were in charge with Hogan and Foley in New York. Not one of Bisch’s best performances to date as it seemed a bit less inspired than usual, but I can take it. Then the X-Division came out and Kendrick cut a promo against Bischoff, furthering the Bischoff vs. X-Division feud. Kendrick was good, and Bischoff was better once he had someone specifically to direct his promo against. “Mildly Moderate Red” was pretty stupid as a name though.
I’ll be honest by being a bit skeptical about this X-Division storyline. TNA has tried to build up the X-Division by uniting them as a group against individuals, but it’s never gone well. Remember X-Division vs. Kevin Nash? Yeah, that went great. I’m not saying that things will go the same way, but TNA is a company which has never seemed to do a great job of learning and so I’m understandably gunshy. This provided a good solid promo to start off the show though, so it gets a pass.
SAMOA JOE vs. AMAZING RED: This was the second match in Bisch’s attempt to destroy the X-Division and unlike Kaz/Abyss, this was just a squash. The match did make sense due to the Crimson/Joe feud, but there was pretty much nothing to this match. It is nice to see Joe get a win and for them to advance this feud; hopefully they can blow it off at a Pay-Per-View instead of in Impact. Anyway, there was not much to this at all but it wasn’t horrendous for a squash match.
GEN ME vs. ERIC BOSCHOFF and MATT HARDY: C’mon, we knew the only possible result here. There was no way that Bischoff wasn’t pinning one of these guys. I don’t like it any more than anyone else; it plays into the idea of what I mentioned before that I’m gunshy about this Bischoff vs. X-Division feud. However, the match itself wasn’t too terrible. Matt has started to look more and more motivated as time has gone on; he’s by no means his old self but he doesn’t look completely wasted anymore. Matt got the better of GenMe and then Bischoff came in to kick some ass and get the pin. This wasn’t great but it accomplished what it needed to. That’s all I wanted.
EXPLANATIONS AND REVELATIONS: The AJ/Dreamer feud continued as AJ came out and called Tommy out. AJ told Tommy that he understood why he did what he did; it was all about his contract which was in danger at the hands of Immortal. AJ tried to be a nice guy, and Tommy took offense. This was Tommy’s attempt to actually get over as a heel instead of being a reluctant heel…and this is where it’s going to fail. The fans won’t buy Tommy Dreamer selling out. It just doesn’t make sense, and while they’re doing it against the right guy—AJ is the biggest face in the company—it’s still going to fail. This was basically a cheap excuse for them to say “Wrestling Matters” several times and a half-assed attempt to sell the feud. I just didn’t buy this, as hard as Tommy and AJ tried.
WAIT..WHO ACTUALLY WON AT SACRIFICE AGAIN?: Kurt Angle came out at the beginning of the second hour to commiserate about finally beating Jeff Jarrett. He said that he was getting Jarrett one-on-one at last at Slammiversary with the winner getting a shot at the belt. And after this, it should be ruled that they can never, EVER face off again. We’ve seen this far too much. Jeff came out and acted like he won the match as opposed to losing it. Seriously, Jarrett’s promo was exactly as if he hadn’t lost the match at Sacrifice but won it. I was mind-boggled. My only explanation is that he has done this feud and promos about beating Kurt for so long that he’s in automatic mode. The gist was that Angle put his gold medal on the line, and then Karen came out to cut a promo only to have Velvet Sky push her down the ramp in her wheelchair. Kudos for the continued Velvet push, but otherwise this made no damned sense.
STING vs. STING: Yeah, this played out exactly how you’d expect. We had several shots of Sting’s boots walking around the ring. The second it was clear they weren’t showing his face, you just knew this was Anderson. They made it a moment of mystery until the end when Sting came out and cut a good, solid promo putting Rob Van Dam over and pumping up the crowd. He turned his attention to Anderson and the music hit, things blacked out and Surfer Sting, aka Mr. Anderson, attacked. This was so obvious a mentally-challenged child could have figured it out, but Anderson admittedly looked awesome in the Sting make-up. The whole thing seemed like side note in the whole of the show though, and the World Title feud should be a focus. That helped sink this.
Nada.
Not a terrible show, but not a great one either. Some feuds were nicely advanced, others were just “there” and didn’t do much. The wrestling was solid enough, and I don’t mind the new look for the Zone. It should have been a bigger show considering the whole “re-branding,” but otherwise not bad. SHOW RATING: 6.5 |
By: Steve Cook
WWE SmackDown 05.20.11
QUICK RESULTS:
Christian d. Sheamus (***)
Brie Bella d. Natalya (*½)
Ezekiel Jackson, Kane & Big Show d. The Corre (**½)
Chavo Guerrero & Daniel Bryan go to a 5 minute draw (**)
Ted DiBiase d. Trent Barreta (*)
The Great Khaki d. Jey Uso (*)
Randy Orton DQ Mark Henry (*½)
CHRISTIAN vs. SHEAMUS: SmackDown’s had a pretty good stretch of strong opening matches, and this opener definitely followed in the footsteps of those matches. Christian needed a big win to look good heading into Over The Limit, and Sheamus was impressive in this match even though he got the loss. Win-win. I’d definitely be up for more matches between these two, who are among the top ten workers in WWE right now.
Zeke & The Kane Show vs. The Corre: I wasn’t expecting a whole lot out of this match when I saw it listed in the spoilers, but Slater & Gabriel really brought their working boots and put on a good show. I like Slater wearing the long tights, it helps him stand out more from the rest of his cohorts. Zeke, Kane & Show isn’t exactly a workrate-friendly team, but it is a group of guys that I sure as heck wouldn’t mess with. Zeke looked impressive in dominating the Corre, which was a good thing because that promo of his didn’t do him any favors.
RANDY ORTON CELEBRATION:
I guess Randy’s a big Bas Rutten fan. He must know that you can buy muscles, but you can’t buy cojones.
BRIE BELLA vs. NATALYA: Hey, Natalya’s still employed! Brie & Nikki had a decent little promo talking about the dissention in their ranks over the Kharma thing, and fortunately they are still on the same page. The match with Brie & Natalya was just kind of there…not good, not bad.
TED DiBIASE vs. TRENT BARRETA: Lately, it seems like I’ve spent a lot of time writing about how Ted DiBiase has fallen on hard times over the past year or so. You could say, as Cody did, that what once was a blooming flower is now a wilted shrub. Nothing they’ve tried has worked so far, but now WWE has decided to go back to DiBiase’s past & re-form his association with Cody Rhodes. Cody was pretty much in a managerial capacity for this match, cutting a pre-match promo running down the Corpus Christi crowd & observing the match in Ted’s corner. It’ll be interesting to see where this goes.
THE GREAT KHALI vs. JEY USO: Hey, the Usos are still employed! This wasn’t a good match by any stretch of the imagination, but it did further the angle between Khali & Jinder Mahal. Runjin Singh was conspicuous by his absence here, and Khali seemed motivated after Mahal came down, yelled at him & slapped him in the face. Khali then put both Usos down, which greatly pleased Mahal.
CHAVO GUERRERO vs. DANIEL BRYAN: Boy, Bryan’s career sure is going well. Now it’s an upset if he can last five minutes with Chavo, a man who lost a feud to a little person. I know they’re trying to build Chavo for this feud with Sin Cara, but there’s gotta be a better way to do it than making the Internet’s favorite wrestler look like a goof. Or maybe there isn’t. The match was ok, but there’s only so much you can do in five minutes.
RANDY ORTON vs. MARK HENRY: This match didn’t exactly make me hope for more Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry matches, I’ll tell you that much. Henry is a capable worker that excels when put in the ring with people that know how to take his offense and make him look like a monster while coming back with some baby face fire. Randy Orton isn’t really that kind of worker, so this was kind of a mess. It did have a nice ending to build the main event and featured Randy Orton doing a mid-air splits, but I don’t wish to see any more matches with these two.
Nothing of note.
This week’s Raw didn’t do much to make me want to watch Over The Limit, and I can’t say this show did real well in that regard either. It was a pretty average show, not a classic by wrestling standards, but did further some angles. SHOW RATING: 6.0 |
…and remember to stay grounded!
