wrestling / TV Reports
The 2005 Survivor Series Breakdown
Long feeling out process to start. Benoit outwrestles Booker and grabs an anklelock. Booker bails out, drawing the ire of the crowd. Booker wins a test of strength by kicking Benoit in the face. That’ll do it. Benoit counters a suplex and snaps Booker over. Booker comes back with a sideslam for two. An armbar segues to an abdominal stretch for Booker. Benoit hiptosses out of it, but Booker cuts off the comeback with a spinning kick. A jackknife rollup gets two for Booker. Booker stays on top with a surfboard. Too much resting here with too little action in between. Benoit counters a suplex to a German Suplex. Booker blocks another and hits Benoit with another sidekick. Booker tries it again, but Booker counters with a Dragon Screw. Benoit goes for the Sharpshooter, but Booker counters to a small package. A snap suplex gets two for Benoit. ROLLING GERMANS! Benoit goes up, but Sharmell distracts him. Booker crotches him and preps for the superplex. Benoit headbutts him into the ring. DIVING HEADBU-NO! Booker rolls out of the way and rolls Benoit up with a little help from Sharmell to pick up the win at 14:38. The match was ebb, ebb, ebb, flow. **1/2
Trish attacks before the bell and takes out all three members of MNM. She gets the reverse headscissors. Tazz goes off on a hilarious rant that begins with paper and ends up with a threat to Joey Styles. Melina punts Trish in the chest and gets in a fight with Micki. CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT! CATFIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! MNM sets Trish up for the Snapshot, earning themselves an ejection. Melina surfboards Trish, earning an ejaculation. Trish goes for Stratusfaction, but Melina counters to the Matrix-like facespike. Trish gets her handspring headscissors. The Chick Kick misses but another connects. Melina counters Stratusfaction, pushing Trish to the apron. Micki helps Trish avoid a charge, and Trish finishes with a bulldog off the top at 6:31. Meh. *
Hunter attacks during Flair’s intro and won’t even let him get his robe off. HHH grabs a chair, but Flair knocks him into next week with a Kendo stick. They brawl up into the crowd. Back to the ring, Triple H dominates very “methodically.” Flair makes a quickie comeback to win the crowd back, and they fall to the outside where Hunter grabs a screwdriver and stabs Flair’s forehead with it. Flair is bathed in blood moments later. Hunter sets up the Spanish announce table. Flair blocks with a thumb to the eye but walks into a spinebuster on the floor. HHH grabs the mic and tells Flair to stay down, but Flair grabs himself a handful of testicles. Hunter smashes the microphone in his head and takes him to the Raw announce table for a Pedigree. After several false starts, Flair eventually backdrops out of it. That gets a nine count before Hunter staggers to his feet. Back in, Triple H catches Flair with a jawbreaker to cut off his momentum. Flair appears to be helpless, so Hunter brings in a chair and preps for the Pedigree on the chair. Instead, Flair gives him a lowblow and gives HHH a weak shot with the chair. To the corner, Flair yanks Hunter’s crotch into the ringpost a few thousand times. Back in, Flair bites Hunter’s quad and does a Ronnie Garvin around the world stomp. Flair goes for the figure-four, but Hunter shoves him to the floor. Flair makes him pay for it with a chairshot to the knee. ROPE-ASSISTED FIGURE-FOUR! Hunter taps, but it doesn’t matter. I should note that Styles and Lawler have teamed up to bury Coach’s commentary. It’s pretty funny, actually. Hunter gets bailed out by the ref and clotheslines Flair to take control again. Flair screams in agony as Hunter smashes the ringsteps into his face. Hunter gets greedy, though, and tries once too often. Flair is able to drop-toehold him into the steps. It only gets eight. Hunter gets a Pedigree out of nowhere to a big face pop! Styles does an excellent job of noting the psychology of Hunter grabbing the ropes to pull himself up. It’s obvious, but I like that he pointed it out. Flair gets up at nine. Hunter gives him another Pedigree. Flair makes it to his knees, flips HHH off and tells him to go fuck himself. A THIRD PEDIGREE! Flair starts to stir, though, so Hunter grabs the sledgehammer and bashes Flair’s spine in for the win at 26:59. Flair gets stretchered out as Hunter mocks the crowd. Well, they were certainly willing to kill themselves for our entertainment, and I can appreciate that kind of dedication, but it suffered from the fact that a lot of the match felt like it was played at half-speed. ***
Daivari is your special referee, making this a loser almost by default. Either the match will be over in five seconds, or it won’t make any sense. I suppose I don’t even have to call the ref bump. Angle takes Cena down into a kneebar, then an anklelock. Daivari doesn’t call for the bell. Crowd is hot, dueling chants of “Let’s go, Cena!” and “Let’s go, Angle!” Angle pounds him down in the corner with Daivari rooting him on the whole way. Cena comes back with a Fisherman’s Suplex, but Daivari refuses to count. Cena goes after Daivari, but Angle picks his heel and slaps on the Anklelock. Daivari still doesn’t call for the bell. WHY?! If you’re crooked, why do you have to wait for him to tap out? Cena comes back with a spinebuster and bitchslaps Daivari. Daivari threatens to disqualify him, but Angle tackles Daivari so he doesn’t cost him the title. Cena knocks them both to the floor, taking Daivari out of the match. Angle tosses Cena with a belly-to-belly as Chad Patton replaces Daivari. Angle only gets two. Another belly-to-belly plants him again. A modified STF follows, but Cena elbows out of it. Cena drops him with a DDT to the boos of the crowd. Backdrop suplex bomb. FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE! The crowd is not impressed. Angle clotheslines Chad Patton out of desperation. He lowblows Cena and brings in another ref. ANGLESLAM! ONE, TWO, TH-NO! Angle with the Superplex. ONE, TWO, T-NO! Angle goes up for the moonsaults, but that’s like Flair going up. Cena avoids and goes for the FU, but Angle grabs the referee to block. Angle takes out that referee and revives Daivari. Smackdown referee Charles Robinson comes down as Cena DDTs Daivari and does the Eddy Guerrero routine by playing dead (yes, I know it’s a bad choice of words). When Angle returns to the ring, Cena pops up and finishes with the FU at 13:56. Charles Robinson was the one to count, so look for a rematch on the grounds that a SD official’s count is meaningless. This match had everything going against it, and it just couldn’t overcome it all. The evil referee thing can be done intelligently, but this wasn’t it. There is no satisfactory explanation for why Daivari wouldn’t just turn and call for the bell to signal a submission. Or continue counting three even when Cena got his shoulder up? I realize they were going for a “Survivor Series is traditionally a night of screwjobs,” but when four different referees littered the ring, the only thing I could think was “WCW!” The really sad thing is that, given the opportunity nine months ago, Cena and Angle put on a decent match. *1/2
Trash talk to start. Long dances and avoids Bischoff’s attacks. Palmer Cannon gets on the apron and distracts the refs, so Bischoff takes off his black belt and chokes Long out with it. The crowd treats the “match” with it’s due respect. Teddy Long counters a sleeper with THE SHOE OF DISMEMBERMENT! Bischoff gives him a thrust to the throat. The crowd is about to riot, so the Boogeyman comes out and chokes Bischoff with his bare hands. He gives Bisch the Death Penalty (Pump-handle Slam) and slides out of the ring backwards. Long covers for the win at 5:24. I guess it was “no DQ?” I don’t give negative stars. O
Hopefully, this match can redeem the show. All five announcers team up for the match. Tazz is in rare form, insulting anything and everything he can about the Raw guys. Orton and HBK start, interesting because they finished a few years earlier. They trade slaps, and Shawn stays on step ahead of him. Masters tags in and chops Randy in the chest. The crowd doesn’t really know what to think. Lashley tags in. He looks pretty tough until they show the earring he’s wearing. Lashley catches Masters with a powerslam but misses a charge. Masters tries for the Masterlock, but Lashley powers out before he can lock it in. A belly-to-belly throw sends Masters into his corner where he tags Carlito. Carlito is rightfully reluctant to get in. Lashley powerslams him and misses a charge. Sound familiar. Shawn tags in and goes up, but Lashley slams him off the top. Carlito runs in but takes a Dominator. Kane saves HBK from another one and chokeslams Lashley. Michaels crawls in to a cover to eliminate Lashley at 7:18.
Rey comes in, but Kane kicks him from the apron. Rey goes at it with Kane, which just looks so wrong. Mysterio runs right into Kane’s boot. Things slow down, so the commentators turn on each other again. This is some funny stuff, folks. Especially Tazz ribbing Styles, “Who the hell is that that’s talking? Where are you?” Batista gets the hot tag and destroys everything in sight. Spinebuster to Kane. ONE, TWO, THREE! (11:43)
Big Show chokeslams Batista, but it only gets two, so Kane and Show team up to double chokeslam him for the elimination at 12:30.
Show starts tossing people around. Orton snaps his neck off the top rope, setting up the Clothesline from Hell. The crowd is cheering for JBL in spite of themselves. 619! RKO! CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL! Show is still moving, but Rey springboards into a splash to eliminate him at 14:29.
Masters jumps Rey as everyone else brawls on the outside. Shawn gets taken out somehow, leaving Masters and Carlito to work Rey over. Rey elbows out of a chinlock and springboards into a Styles-ish DDT position. JBL gets the blind tag and finishes Carlito at 17:36.
Masters is the only one that’s conscious, so Rey drops the dime on him to eliminate him at 19:06.
JBL tosses Shawn back in for Rey. Rey gives him the 619, but Shawn oversells it to the other side of the ring. Rey springboards right into Sweet Chin Music at 20:20.
HBK ducks the Clothesline from Hell and gives JBL Sweet Chin Music to send him packing at 20:36.
Orton stalks HBK and waits for him to stand. The RKO is countered, and Orton avoids Sweet Chin Music. Shawn hits the flying forearm. Atomic Drop. Flying elbow drop. The crowd chants, “We want Taker!” Michaels tunes up the band, but JBL crawls in with a chair to distract him. Orton finishes him with the RKO at 24:01. The entire Smackdown locker room comes down to hoist Orton on their shoulders. In the midst of all this, a bunch of druids wheel a casket to ringside. Lightning strikes the casket, setting it on fire. The Undertaker bursts out of the casket, making our hero shit himself and run away. Taker destroys the entire Smackdown lockerroom. What does he have against Brian Kendrick? Leave Spanky alone! And Smackdown wonders why they get no respect. The locker room was just dominated by a guy collecting social security. The match itself wasn’t that bad, but the booking was entirely backwards from what it should have been. It should have been Orton battling back against three guys to give him a bit of badass credibility so Taker can suck it right out of him at Armageddon. I’m sure there will be people raving about this match, but once you get outside of the fact that “OMG, Randy Orton was in there with Chris Masters, that’s a match-up you never see!” this was just a slightly above-average match for the Survivor Series. **3/4
Final Thoughts: There was a glimmer of hope of having a decent show in the first hour, but once the booking kicked in, everything went downhill and fast. This is an example of how bad booking can ruin a show that had some hard work in it (kind of like last year). It should tell you something that the matches with little or no outside booking to them (Benoit/Booker and Flair/HHH) wound up being two of the best matches on the card. I’ll give them a mulligan for this one under the circumstances, but I just don’t see any hope of them improving things without an overhaul behind-the-scenes.
Thumbs down here.
J.D. Dunn
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