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Csonka’s Lucha Underground Review 10.26.16

October 26, 2016 | Posted by Larry Csonka
4.5
The 411 Rating
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Csonka’s Lucha Underground Review 10.26.16  

Csonka’s Lucha Underground Review 10.26.16 (Season Three, Episode 8)

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Marty The Moth defeated Ivelisse @ 4:20 via pin [*¾]
– For An Ultimate Opportunity Best of Five Series Match: Texano [1] defeated Cage [2] @ 7:45 via pin [***½]
– Gift of the Gods Title Match: Johnny Mundo defeated Champion Sexy Star @ 11:30 via pin to become the NEW champion [DUD]

– We get the usual slick opening video package.

– Sexy Star arrives in Dario’s office. She wants to turn in her title for a shot at Matanza, and Dario says she can have it next week. But first, she will have to defend against Johnny Mundo tonight. She says that he will be a great warm up, and Dario admires her testicular fortitude. Dario then reveals that Fenix, Aerostar and Drago are banned from ringside, and if they get involved, they will be banned from the temple forever. Star claimed that she would win the title, and Dario said that women tend not to do well against his brother, “just ask my mother.”

Marty The Moth w/Mariposa vs. Ivelisse: Marty continues to creep on ring announcer Melissa Santos. Ivelisse worked over Marty with some kicks, Marty then creeped on her and used that to counter and take control. Marty choked her out in the ropes and that allowed Mariposa to get involved and choke her out. Marty worked a full nelson, but she escaped and then hit a shining wizard variation for 2. Marty fish hooked the mouth, and then slammed Ivelisse to the corner. She cut him off with body kicks, and then locked in a hanging guillotine. Marty tried to escape by slamming her to the corner; Ivelisse kept the hold but Marty finally hit a spinebuster to escape. Marty then hit a full nelson slam for the win. Marty The Moth defeated Ivelisse @ 4:20 via pin [*¾] This was not a good opener, it felt off and never got into a consistent groove. I kept hoping they would click, it never did, Striker and Vampiro were doing their “Intergender is awesome and the women can do anything” and then as soon as she lost, “welp, guess not.” They do not come off as believable, for example, Marty is not a “300 pounder.” I get exaggerating and all, it’s wrestling, but you have to have be believable on some level. Also, if this was to set up a feud with Ivelisse and her man, why didn’t Mariposa get more involved, cost Ivelisse the match and THEN we get the beat down and run in. Ivelisse lost clean, the Moths were dicks, but she really needed to be screwed over and then beaten down to make this really resonate.

– Post match, Ivelisse’s boyfriend (the former Sami Callihan, I believe going by Jeremiah) hit the ring and attacked both Marty and Mariposa. Ivelisse returned and that led to all four brawling. After running off the Moth clan, he apologized to Ivelisse and then asked for a hug.

– We get a creepy video for the White Rabbit Tribe. It’s good to see Paul London getting work these days.

– Ivelisse and her high school drop out boyfriend argue backstage. Dario has given him a chance in the temple, he has always dreamed of getting paid to hurt people Ivelisse is not thrilled about this, but he feels it will make them stronger. Ivelisse then warns him that Dario is a piece of crap and if they have to fight each other, she’s going to kick his ass.

– Dario meets with Councilman Delgado. “His ascension” is now complete and they discuss that the time is almost here. Delgado asks about the “new host body,” and Dario says he has “two strong bodies selected,” he’s referring to Cage and Texano. Dario gets a mystery box, likely with a soul or essence of this new force that they were discussing

For An Ultimate Opportunity Best of Five Series Match: Cage [2] vs. Texano [0]: Texano attacked before the bell, which I loved because he was down 2-0 and needs a win. They brawled to the floor, where Cage fought back and slammed Texano to the apron. We got a back and forth brawl, with bodies being slammed into the wall and then Cage got tossed into the pile of chairs in the first few rows. Texano looked to keep control, but Cage hit a suplex on the floor. Back in, Texano cut off Cage and then hit the sunset flip bomb to the floor. Back in, Texano went for the senton and missed. Cage hit the sick kick, which got 2. Cage then hit a version of the sack of shit slam and then a corner spear. They worked up top, with Cage hitting the superplex for the double down, Cage would make a cover for the near fall. Texano escaped a piledriver try and hit the air raid crash, which also got a near fall. They went back and forth, Cage posted Texano and hit an inside out x-factor for the near fall. Cage went to the second rope, but Texano cut him off and hit the RANA off the ropes. The leg lariat off the second rope connected, but only got 2. Cage then hit the lariat for a near fall. Buckle bomb by Cage, and then the F5 connects, and Cage only got 2 with the cocky pin. Texano then scored a small package and got the win. Texano [1] defeated Cage [2] @ 7:45 via pin [***½] I really enjoyed that, as both guy come off better working the hard hitting sprint style match. They worked to their strengths, kept a great pace, and while the ending was a bit anticlimactic, it was very enjoyable.

-Back in his office, Dario looks in the mystery box. He then meets with Rey Mysterio. Mysterio asks for a minute of his time and says his time may be limited. He wants Dario to give Chavo his notice, because Chavo keeps stabbing him in the back. He can’t waste time on Chavo anymore, and next week, he wants a loser leaves lucha match. He doesn’t want to go, but he is willing to risk it, but wants Chavo gone. Dario agrees as Mysterio says he has to put the dog down for his own good.

Gift of the Gods Title Match: Champion Sexy Star vs. Johnny Mundo: Star tried to stay away early, but Mundo grounded her to try and work the size and power advantage. Mundo then eye poked her and laid in leg kicks. Mundo then slammed her to the corner, and continued to control. Star tried to fire up, but Mundo took her down and laid in kicks and a knee to the face, which got 2. Mundo then locked in the chicken wing and grounded Star. Star escaped and laid in kicks, Mundo took her to the corner and connected with a right. Mundo looked for a superplex, Star fought it off but Mundo backdropped her to the mat. Mundo then ate boots on the moonsault try. Star attacked, laying rights and forearms. More rights followed, Mundo countered the monkey flip and hit knee strikes, but Star hit a code breaker and then a back stabber for 2. Star went for a high cross, but Mundo caught her and sun her into the ref for the ref bump Star then got a sunset flip, but the ref was down. We got ANOTHER ref bump as Mundo speared the ref as Star moved. Star locked in a choke, Mundo is down and looking to go out and then Black and Evans arrived. They hit a double superkick on Star, and then celebrated with Mundo. They triple teamed Star, a new ref arrived and Mundo covered for 2. That ref got pulled to the floor and superkicked, so he is out. Black gave Mundo a chair, and wrapped it around Star’s neck. Black held her down, and Mundo looked to take her out but Willie Mack arrived to make the save, taking out Black and Evans. He stunned Mundo off the ropes and then hit the stunner. Chair shot from Star, and that got a near fall. Mack then brawled with Black and Evans, Mundo attacked Star and slammed her to the mat. Mundo then went to the corner and missed end of the world. Mundo grabbed the chair, the ref stopped him and then Mundo grabbed brass knux. He KO’d Star and covered for the win. Johnny Mundo defeated Champion Sexy Star @ 11:30 via pin to become the NEW champion [DUD] I am perfectly fine with heels cheating to win, it’s what they do, but this ended up as an embarrassment as a main event. The early part of the match wasn’t very good, and then the constant run of outside interference and ref bumps killed any and all enjoyment I had for the match. When all was said and done, this did nothing for me, I just didn’t enjoy it at all.

– Prince Puma works out in a gym. Vampiro arrives and says he should be proud of winning against Muertes last week, but that was only the first step because he’s not done with him. “Remember what he did to Konnan?” Puma says he remembers that Vampiro hates Konnan, and Vamprio agreed, but said that Muertes put him in a casket and killed him. Vampiro says Puma has to do the same to Muertes in order to find his true power. Vampiro says he hated Konnan, but has always respected Puma.

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

4.5
The final score: review Poor
The 411
This was the weakest episode of the season, with a rough opener and a main event I was not a fan of. I liked Texano vs. Cage, the story surrounding it (MYSTERY BOX THAT MAY CONTAIN AN EVIL SOUL) and was also a fan of the Rey and Puma angles; but overall, I wasn’t very into the show this week. The main event really hurt my overall enjoyment, even if there were things I did enjoy.
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