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SICKOS! It’s Wednesday, you know what that means! AEW Dynamite is live tonight, as it continues to broadcast from South Philadelphia, not West Philadelphia, Will! And I dare say, tonight has quite the eclectic mix for us to enjoy!

9-Belts Mone will be defending one of them, her TBS Title, as she faces Alex WINDDDDDSSSSAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! The Young Bucks will team with DCF members Josh Alexander and the TNT Champion Kyle Fletcher to face Jet Speed, Kenny Omega, and our AEW World Champion, Hangman Page! We’ll also hear from Adam Copeland and Christian Cage in anticipation of their tag team match with FTR in their hometown of Toronto for All-Out, and as is always the case, so much more on tap!

So, a lot of stones throwing around for me, but nevermind that shit, HERE COMES THE EAGLES! Well, 24 hours more until the season opener anyway. I do wonder how much Dallas trading Micah Parsons to Green Bay will affect them as a team overall. I would argue he was their very best player.

Anyway, enough about me, let’s talk about AEW and get ready to make the Dynamite go BOOM!

The residency continues in Philadelphia, as we are LIVE from the 2300 Arena! The man behind the Mask, Excalibur, The Inevitable, Tony Schiavone, and the recently celebrated ECW icon, Taz, will bring us the action tonight!

The most blah man in the world, Gabe Kidd is here. We are on HIS time now. So that begs the question, where are you Darby Dallin? This dump isn’t big enough for you be hiding in the rafters!

Ask, and you shall receive, as Allin is here and he jumps Kidd from behind. That doesn’t last long, and Kidd throws Darby’s skateboard out of the ring. Allin rams the head and arm of Kidd into the exposed turnbuckle. Kidd fights Allin to the floor and nearly kills Allin with a comebacker lariat! He takes too long talking shit to the fans, and Allin drops in with the Coffin Drop! Allin rolls Kidd into the ring. His back splash is cut off, and Kidd with the rear naked choke. Allin rips at the face of Kidd to escape. Wheeler Yuta is here, but Allin knocks him off the apron. He hits a springboard Coffin Drop to Kidd! He goes under the ring; he gets the skateboard with thumbtacks! Yuta throws himself in harm’s way, and Allin splashes onto Yuta with the skateboard! We see the thumbtacks in Yuta, but the rest of the Death Riders are here. The lights go out in the arena, though, as the HOOK signal goes up, and his kick arse new theme plays. HOOK comes out, but before he can get down the ramp, the Opps come out and run past HOOK!

We see everyone fight everywhere, as Kidd and Allin continue the fight in the back. YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME? I WANT TO SEE THE WHITES IN YOUR EYES WHILE I CHOKE YOU OUT, screams Gabe Boring at Allin. He grabs a hammer, but he misses Allin. Darby escapes to a near-by Ford Truck, and he blinds Kidd with powder! He grabs a bodybag from the truck bed, and he zips up Kidd! The truck starts up, and Kidd gets a first class ride out of the arena!

Excalibur confirms that, starting with All-Out, PPV shows will be available on HBO Max! BTW, the guy behind Tony at the booth looks just like Eddie Kingston lol.

The show will open, properly, with the TBS Title match! We get highlights from last week on Dynamite, where Mone claims she’ll put Alex in the hospital next to her husband, and Collision, where Alex implores Mone to put here money where her mouth is.

TBS World Title Match: Mercedes Mone (C) vs. Alex Windsor

The bell rings, and Mone is quickly on the offensive. She chokes Windsor with her boot. Mone off the ropes, tries a rana, but Alex cuts that off and tries the Sharpshooter! The CEO quickly avoids that and takes a break on the bottom rope.

Windsor scores with a back body drop and then starts the chops. Windsor up and over Mone in the corner, hits an arm drag. Basement dropkick follows, cover for a two count. Clubbing forearms from the challenger, but Mone goes around the world and drags Alex to the mat and applies the Bank Statement! Windsor gets to the bottom rope and heads to the floor. Mone follows out, but her attack misses. Windsor bounces Mone’s face off the apron, she goes up and hits the CANNONABLL!

Back in the ring, Windsor with a clothesline from the top! The cover, two count. They fight back out to the floor, where Mone gets the advantage and hits a powerbomb onto the apron! PIP Break!

🧐🧐

Both ladies are down in the ring, as Mone got rocked by a headbutt from Windsor, as we return. Misdirection and a shoulder tackle by Windsor. Modified Russian Legsweep into a basement clothesline for a two count. Alex looking Sharpshooter, but Mone kicks out of it. She runs the ropes but runs right into a Blue Thunder Bomb for another two count. Sharpshooter, activated! Mone grabs the hair of Windsor to escape and put on the Statement Maker. Windsor picks up Mone and carries her, but Mone with a crucifix pin for a two count. Backstabber by Mone, but Windsor counters with a powerbomb!

Justin Robers tells us that there is ten minutes left in the match. I am sure that isn’t going to a hint at anything, right? Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight?

Windsor looks for the Sharpshooter again, but both women end up rolling out to the floor. Windsor has, apparently, not let go of the legs of Mone and applies the Sharpshooter on the floor! Mone gets back in at nine, Windsor waiting from the top, but Mone counters with the Bank Statment. Windsor rolls through, but Mone with a backstabber! Windsor no-sells, and hammers Mone with a lariat!

Both women to their feet, they trade forearms, Windsor wins that round. But Mone wins the kicking battle, at least for a moment. Windsor hits a Made in Japan! The cover, two count. THIS IS AWESOME chants, and co-sign that! Mone sits Windsor on the top rope. Windsor with a headbutt, but Mone grabs both arms and throws Alex from the top! Statement Maker again! Windsor thinks she has a break, but Mone rolls her back to the middle of the ring. Another try, but Mone kicks off the bottom rope, but it allows Windsor to roll her up for a two count. Another Sharpshooter attempt, but Mone catches Alex with a small package for the win!
WINNER: Mercedes Mone (Still Champion)
TIME: 15:00
THOUGHTS: I know I was one of the outspoken ones who didn’t enjoy Mone’s work when she first debuted. But she has taken to the AEW style like a pro, and she has been a highlight of the show. And, oh yeah, that Windsor girl certainly is a great wrestler in her own right.
RATING: ****

Post-match, Windsor wants to shake Mone’s hand. She fakes her out, so Windsor double legs her and tries the sharpshooter again, but Mone counters into the Statement Maker. A familiar Mega Man sounding song hits, and Riho is back! She hits a double stomp from the top to Mone! A basement dropkick sends Mone from the ring. She helps Windsor up and hugs her! I am here fo rit!

The Remarkable Renee Paquette in the back with Samoa Joe and Powerhouse Hobbs. Renee wants to know where they stand with HOOK. Joe says that is a good question, you can ask him yourself. HOOK is here. Man, he doesn’t need anyone to defend his honor. Also, you didn’t even wait until the body was cold to replace me. Hobbs says that’s bullshit, he always had his back. Joe says you’re right, they should have waited, but they didn’t help Hook, they had business with the Death Riders. Just know that they will always have your back. HOOK walks away.

COMMERCIALS!

Ricky and the GOA are here. For those who have been paying attention, his problems with the Hurt Syndicate pre-date AEW. For them oldheads, it is about fists and accolades, but they have their own. Not that they don’t deserve it, but all they do is rely on that.

Toa Liona says that, while Brodido walked out with the AEW Tag Team Titles, it was them that cost the Hurt Syndicate those belts. Bishop Kaun says they each are great, together, that makes them unstoppable. Ricochet says this isn’t about a fight, this is about respect. He is challenging the Hurt Syndicate for All-Out! AH-HAAAAAAAAA!

REACH FOR THE SKY, BOY! Mark Briscoe is here for a Talky-Talk, perhaps! YAY, BABY, WE IN PHILLY TONIGHT! This is hallowed ground; this is where him and his brother fell in love with professional wrestling. JAY chants. And damn it, it’s been guns blazing ever since. And right here, right now, 2025, my focus is on a young man named Kyle Fletcher and the TNT Title. So, unfortunately, that means having a conversation with a man named Don Callis. FUCK DON CALLIS chants. That is exactly right, and he is speaking of the same Don Callis who looks like Elton John dressed up as a prosthetic penis for Halloween.

L-M-A-O!

Apparently, this means he has to beat ANOTHER one of Don’s men, so let’s get on this! Who is it going to be.

The best theme song ever plays, and Don is here, along with Rocky and Lance. He has something important to say, apparently. Don knows that Mark is very impatient in getting his hands on Kyle. But you know what, he is a little busy getting Kyle and Josh ready for the big match tonight. So, Mark, if you want your answer, MARK, it’s not one you’re going to like, because your opponent on Collision is Saturday will be the Alpha, Konosuke Takeshita!

Hell, yeah, brother.

Takeshita arrives looking dapper, I must say. He gets in the ring, gets in Mark’s face, and Don says you better save it for Saturday.

Briscoe thinks that Don just like to mess with his head. He will wait until Saturday, where he will beat Mr. Takeshita. He wants another one of his henchmen right here, right now! Romero says he wants the fight, but Don wants Archer instead. Archer enters the ring, and the ref is here.

Mark Briscoe vs. Lance Archer

Archer tries a chokeslam, but Briscoe bites the hand of Archer, and he kicks him out to the floor. Baseball slide by Briscoe! Briscoe looking suicide dive, but Archer intercepts him and hits a choke bomb onto the apron. Archer rolls him in the ring, cover for a two count. Romero has the ref, Archer sets up the ring steps, and he choke slams Briscoe on top of them. PIP Break.

Archer is stalking Briscoe around the ring as we return. Archer has Briscoe, but Mark escapes and hits a charging Archer with a back elbow. Mark with forearms, staggering Archer. Shoulder tackle, but Archer won’t budge. He tries again, but he ducks Archer’s clothesline and hits a running up kick. He clotheslines Archer to the floor, and the dive connects this time! DEM BOYS chants, as Mark returns Lance to the ring.

Jay Driller, but Archer easily escapes. Archer with a huge corner clothesline, buckle bomb, and chokeslam! The cover, but Briscoe it out at two. Archer looks like he dumped in his nappy of anger. Blackout attempt, but Briscoe chops away at Archer. Missile dropkick from Mark puts Lance on the mat. Briscoe with chops, Archer with the back body drop, but Mark lands on his feet and he continues the forearms. Briscoe to the top, but Archer tries to cut him off with a chokeslam. Mark bites his forehead, corner powerbomb! The cover, two count. Briscoe goes to the top, FROGGY BOW! The cover, the win!
WINNER: Mark Briscoe
TIME: 7:55
THOUGHTS: Briscoe is on a collision course with Fletcher, so obviously, he wasn’t losing here. And, he was facing Archer, and he doesn’t beat anyone but the jobbers.
RATING: ***

TIMELESS Toni Storm earlier today. Philadelphia Freaks, lend me your ears! If this building could talk, it would tell of all the bloodshed that happened. But she will be bat shit crazy and all piss and vinegar! No belt collector can take this title from her. She is begging any woman, come one, come all, give her your best, your worst, and everything in between. God doesn’t judge, but don’t worry, that’s MY job!

COMMERCIALS!

Renee has Kris Statlander and Harley Cameron in the back. Cameron says she was beaten down by the Megasus last week, but her power is not within her, but it is in the mask! Statlander says enough and rips her mask off. Harley has cat paint on beneath it! Harley says they are undefeated as a tag team, and they want Brodido! They want the Triangle of Madness! Yuta and Marina are here. Yuta says this isn’t personal, but he wants her to know that they have been watching her. Harley tells them to go away, Wheeler says he has to wrestle, and they leave. Harley says the seem like fun lol.

AEW World Tag Team Title Match: Brodido (C) vs. The Death Riders

Yuta and Bandido to start us off. FUCK YOU YUTA chants, lol. Yuta wrestles Bandido to the mat with a leg lock, but Bandido is quick to the ropes. Bandido with a good ole slap, Yuta sends him into the corner, but Bandido escapes and threatens Yuta with finger guns! Claudio tags himself in, so King is in.

Big men proceed to do big things, with chops and open hand slaps. Claudio with a big boot, but King with a running forearm. Claudio springboard, but King catches him. Claudio escapes and has a double leg, but King gets out of it. He starches Claudio with a forearm and tags in Bandido. King grabs Bandido and uses his partner as a suplex dummy right onto Claudio, followed by a back splash. Bandido dances, but King is like, no, Bro, LOL!

Bandido and Claudio lock-up, and Bandido gets the better of him. he goes to the top rope, Wheeler helpfully points his way, and Claudio catches Bandido out of the air and sends him crashing to the arena floor. Wheeler gets in some cheap shots, and we hit PIP break.

Yuta has Bandido grounded and in a knee lock as we return. Bandido looking tag, but Yuta with the Olympic Slam for a two count. OHHHHHHH FUCK WHEELER YUTA chants, as Claudii kicks King off the apron. Claudio sends Bandido to the apron, he jacks the jaw of Claudio. Dragon Rana is caught by Claudio, but he still hits a Code Red to Claudio! King is back, he is tagged in, and he’s pissed! He hits Claudio and Wheeler without discrimination. He stacks both men up in the corner. ARF! ARF! ARF! Double CANNONABLL! King pins Claudio for a two count. Bandido is back, King sends in Bandido. he is sent to the apron, but King and Bandido hit a lariat/enziguri combination. Bandido hits his own partner with a rana, and King cannonballs into Claudio! These two are so good. Bandido with a springboard splash, but nobody home.

Yuta is in now, but his advantage is short lived. Brodido looking for their team finish, but Marina grabs the leg of Bandido. Claudio smashes King with a lariat. Moxley is here. He runs King into the ring post. The Fastball Special from the challengers! The cover, Bandido out at 2.8! Claudio with the Giant Swing into a Yuta dropkick! The cover, but King makes the save. Claudio sends King from the ring, and Moxley sizes him up again. Darby is back, and he tries to choke Moxley out! Claudio goes to hit Allin, but King wipes him out. King punches Yuta in the head, Bandido with the 21-Plex, and they retain the titles!
WINNER: Brodido (Still Champions)
TIME: 12:40
THOUGHTS: Did I mention how much fun Bandido and Brody King are as a team? They take tag team offense to new heights, and it is always top notch. There was no reason for the Death Riders to win the titles, and they didn’t.
RATING: ***3/4

Renee has Unified Champion Kazuchika Okada in the back. She congratulates them on their tag team win last week, but she mentions there was dissention between himself and Takeshita. Okada says he might be the Alpha, but Okada is the Rainmaker, and he is the crown jewel of the Family, BITCH!

Well, talk about being straight and direct lol.

COMMERCIALS!

Renee has The Hurt Syndicate post-break. Renee says that Ricky has challenged them for All-Out, do they accept the challenge? MVP wants to know what happened to Ricky. He used to be a fantastic wrestler, but now, he is nothing but a punchline. Speaking of punchline, he saw Ricky saying that they should respect them. Wherever they go, they are given a wide lane, as they are the Serengeti of respect. He looks forward to lacing up his boots and going into combat with his guys. They accept their challenge. Bobby and MVP leave, and Shelton Benjmain says it’s a pleasure, Renee.

YOU THINK YOU KNOW HIM? Adam Copeland is here, but so are FTR! They beat on Copeland until Christian Cage arrives to even the odds! THAT’S OUR FATHER chants, and I am dead lol. Officials try, in vain, to break this fight up. The J.O.B. squad is here to break this up. LET THEM FIGHT chants, as we see Dax has been busted open somehow. FTR can’t get their hands on C&C, so they give one of the jobbers the stuffed piledriver! Adam Priest, who lost to FTR on Collision, beats up Harwood! It seems as if things have FINALLY been settled.

The commentators highlight the Moxley-Garcia rematch for this week’s Collision. Video package for Garcia follows. Our 8-man main event is up next after the breka.

Wait, it’s not even 9:30. What’s going on here?

COMMERCIALS

FTR and Big Stoke are here post-break. ADAM COPELAND! Look whose back! He can’t wait to see FTR put Copeland six feet in the ground. Dax calls someone over, and it’s Crash HollyAdam Priest. Cash says you had one match and now you think you’re someone. You’re a nobody. Get yourself a tag team partner, and this Saturday, they’ll make him famous.

On this episode of Whacky Shenanigans, we still have the no EVP graphic in their video, and their title says THESE GUYS AGAIN? We also see the Bucks selling signed 8-by-10’s for 2o dollars lol.

The Young Bucks, Josh Alexander, and AEW TNT Champion Kyle Fletcher vs. Jet Speed, Kenny Omega, and AEW World Champion Hangman Adam Page

Callis apparently has escape routes planned for when Omega is in the arena. Gosh darn, I wonder why Cyrus lol.

Hangman and Alexander will start us off. FUCK DON CALLIS chants, yet again. Alexander has arm control, but Page rolls around to get back to his feet. Shoulder tackle from the Champ, Alexander catches him out of the air, and Page escapes. Fletcher kicks Page in the back, and Hangman swipes at him. Hangman kicks Alexander in the face, he goes to tag in Kenny, but everyone is in and fighting! FOUR-WAY SLINGSHOT CROSSBODIES BY THE GOOD GUYS! Hangman, Omega, and Alexander in the ring. The former tag team champions chop Alexander back and forth. Josh blocks against Kenny, but Hangman chops him in the back lol. A double team chop from both men puts Alexander on his knees as hit PIP Break.

Hangman has to fight out of the DCF/Bucks corner and tags in Bailey as we return. Bailey with the kicks to Alexander. Running SSP gets Mike a two count. Bailey misses the kick, Alexander with forearms and he tags in Nick Jackson. Nick misses the basement kick; Bailey sends off Nick and hits a missile dropkick. Knight gets the tag. He hits a springboard back elbow. Scoop slam, standing frog splash, but Nick with his feet up, Matt Jackson in with the Locomotion. Once! Twice! But not thrice, as Knight counters with a tornado DDT. Page with the tag, sack of shit to Matt. Springboard clothesline to Alexander. Fletcher in, his corner clothesline misses, so Kenny and Hangman go on the attack. Hangman with the clothesline, snap German from Kenny! Hangman for the tag, but Alexander pulls him from the apron! Fletcher with the dive onto Page! he returns Hangman to the ring, but Hangman with a pop-up powerbomb!

Bailey and Alexander are in now. Bicycle kicks from Bailey and a savant kick. Alexander avoids the final blow, Josh with a German! A second one! They go to the apron, Speedball tries the moonsault knee drop, but he meets the apron. Alexander with the running crossbody block. Both men on the floor and now on the apron, Knight flies in and takes out Alexander. TK Driver by Nick and Kyle in the ring to Bailey! One on the floor by the Jacksons to Knight! PIP Break!

Bailey is looking for a tag, but the DCF/Jacksons take his partners off the apron as we return. MMMBop Drop (according to Excalibur), but that’s broken up. Everyone is in the ring doing shit, as to be expected in this match. Omega is back, looking for the tag, but Alexander cuts off Bailey. Alexander has Bailey on his shoulders, POISON RANA by Speedball!

Omega gets the tag, as does Fletcher! They trade forearms, Kenny with a kick, Fletcher with his own. Big knee from Omega, One-Winged Angel, Fletcher counters, but so does Omega with a snap dragon. A second one. Both Jacksons are in now. Omega looks to his corner, tags in Hangman, and all four men are in the ring. HOLY SHIT chants as a hockey fight has broken out! THE ELITE chants as it breaks down in the ring. Hangman looking Buckshot Lariat, he misses, but Nick clotheslines Matt. V-Trigger to Matt! Buckshot/V-Trigger combination, but the Jacksons move, and Hangman and Omega nearly avoid friendly fire. Page is left in the ring after SUPERKICKS from the Bucks.

Fletcher gets the tag, and he taunts Hangman. Page isn’t having any of this and he pounds away on Fletcher. Kyle with a half-and-half, his follow up is countered by Hangman. Page tries the tombstone, but it’s reversed, and Kyle hits it instead. The cover, two count. FIGHT FOREVER chants, as Hangman floats over Fletcher. Bailey tags in, reversals are traded, crucifix pin by Bailey for a two count. Bailey with a moonsault to the floor on Nick. Assisted DDT by Knight to Fletcher! UFO Splash by Knight, but Fletcher gets the boots up. Kyle puts Kevin on the top rope, but Mike is back. POISON RANA FROM THE TOP BY KNIGHT! The Bucks with duo stereo kicks to both Knight and Bailey! TK Driver by Nick with Alex’s help. Sheer Drop Brain buster by Kyle on Kevin for the win!
WINNER: The Young Bucks and the Don Callis Family.
TIME: 22:10
THOUGHTS: As much as I make fun of the premise of the “All-Star 8-person matches”, the fact remains that the chaos that they bring, and the combinations presented, somehow manage to always make them feel fresh and invigorated. In this scenario, the bad men may have won, but it remained an extremely fun bout from bell to bell.
RATING: ****

Post-match, the DCF and Bucks still want to fight. The Bucks and Jet Speed fight to the back, as Rocky Romero and Lance Archer are here. A chair is set up in the middle of the ring, as Omega is sent to the floor. FLETCHER WITH A SHEER DROP BRAINBUSTER ON HANGMAN THROUGH THE CHAIR! A table is set up at ring side as Omega tries to protect Hangman. Omega fights back against the Family, but Kyle shoves the chair into the gut of Omega. Fletcher rolls Omega to the apron, FLETCHER WITH A SHEER DROP BRAIN BUSTER TO OMEGA OFF THE APRON AND THROUGH THE TABLE! YOU SICK FUCK CHANTS! It looks like Fletcher also cut himself on the table, as he is bleeding from the bicep. The stretcher is here for Kenny as the DCF finally takes their leave.

And with that, we are done!