411’s WWE Smackdown Report 03.28.08

We kick the show off with no music or fireworks, just big ol’ Kane!

Match #1: Chuck Palumbo vs. Great Khali vs. Kane vs. Mark Henry in a Battle Royal

If you need a new bike or one fixed, call 619-977-4884. Kane starts battling off everybody since he’s the face. DDT to Mark Henry by Kane by Chuck big boots him. Chuck runs at Kane and Kane tosses him over the top rope to eliminate him. Khali and Henry pound away on Kane but Kane battles back and hits running splashes on both men until Henry shoves him down. Khali Bomb to Kane and Henry tosses Kane out of the ring. Khali and Henry exchange blows and Khali nails him with a chop. Henry gets up though, picks up Khali, and drops him out of the ring for the win.

Winner: Mark Henry

After the match, Chavo Guerrero attacks Mark Henry but Henry nails him with the World’s Strongest Slam and stands tall.

Tonight Edge will have a funeral for Undertaker’s WrestleMania streak!

-Commercial-

Teddy Long talks to the remaining Divas in the Smackdown Diva Challenge, Cherry, Michelle McCool, and Eve. He announes to them that Eve is eliminated. Maryse and Victoria interrupt and make fun of her. Long then announces a Wet and Wild Water Fight between the divas.

Match #2: CM Punk (ECW) vs. WWE Tag Team Champion John Morrison (ECW)

I hate CM Punk’s rib t-shirt by the way. They lock up and exchange waist locks until Punk gets a wrist lock. Morrison counters into a pin fall for two. Headlock by Morrison but it is counters by Punk. Morrison nails a beautiful cartwheel heel kick. Punk launches himself at Morrison and they both go over the top rope as we go to commercial.

-Commercial-

We’re back with Morrison locked in a scissors choke hold courtesy of Punk. Morrison gets to the ropes and Punk kicks him afterward. Punk nails Morrison with a flapjack and Morrison rolls out of the ring. Punk goes after him but Morrison trips him up and begins to work on the shoulder of Punk. After a kick to the head, Morrison gets a two count and goes back to the shoulder. Punk gets to his feet by Morrison drops him on the ropes. Morrison misses a springboard shining wizard and Punk is able to get some kicks in. Back body drop to Morrison followed by a monkey flip and a dropkick. Punk clotheslines Morrison out of the ring and launches himself at Morrison through the ropes! Both men in the ring and Punk misses the springboard clothesline but gets a powerslam on Morrison for the two count. Both men exchange pinning holds and Punk delivers a back breaker across the knee. Morrison get a back breaker to Punk after blocking a kick. Morrison gets a few kicks but Punk gets him on his shoulders. Morrison counters the Go To Sleep but Punk gets him in the corner. Running knee and bulldog by Punk for two! Punk and Morrison battle on the top rope and Punk gets a hurricanrana literally off of both men standing on the very top. Punk goes for Go To Sleep bu Morrison counters. Morrison goes for the Palace of Wisdom but Punk counters that and nails the Go To Sleep for the win!

Winner: CM Punk via pin fall

-Commercial-

Match #3: Jesse, Festus, and Kofi Kingston (ECW) vs. Lance Cade (RAW), Trevor Murdoch (RAW), and WWE Tag Team Champion Miz (ECW)

YES!!!!!!!!! KOFI KINGSTON ON SMACKDOWN! The bell rings and Festus chases Cade around. He catches him and nails him with a scoop slam. Same goes to Murdoch and Festus takes out Miz. Tag to Jesse and he gets a head lock on Cade. Cade shoves him down and tags Murdoch. Jesse hits a drop toe hold and a dropkick for two. Tag to Kofi and he works on the shoulder of Murdoch and hits a cross body for two. Tag to Jesse and he works on Murdoch until Miz interferes. Miz gets the tag and gets a two count on Jesse. He works on the back of Jesse and locks in a chin lock. Tag to Cade and buries the forearm into Jesse’s face. Tag to Murdoch and Cade drops him on Jesse. Murdoch goes after the back but Jesse counters a suplex into one of his own. Miz gets the tag in and he gets to Jesse before he can tag. Modified full nelson submission by Miz until Jesse gets to his feel and hits a jawbreaker. He hits a running in Murdoch with a back body drop and gets the tag to Kofi. He gets some kicks and a sweet sunset flip for two. Spinning Russian leg sweep by Kofi followed by the BWAH! BWAH! BWAH! double leg drop or maybe the Jamaican People’s Double Leg Drop. Cade and Murdoch attack but Festus takes them out. Jamaican Buzzsaw by Kofi to Miz for the win.

Winners: Jesse, Festus, and Kofi Kingston via pin fall on Miz by Kofi Kingston

-Commercial-

Match #4: Batista vs. Snitsky (RAW)

Oh boy. Snitsky. I was hoping not to call a Snitsky match this year. Well, Batista clotheslines him and nails the spinebuster. Batista Bomb to Snitksy and it’s over. BEST…..SNITSKY……MATCH…..EVER! Batista also cracked my favorite wrestler list for making this so short. Remember when Snitksy dominated Kane and main evented Survivor Series in 2004? Neither do I.

Winner: Batista via pin fall

After the match, Batista grabs a chair and hits Snitsky with a Batista Bomb on the chair.

We get an awesome video package of Edge vs. Undertaker for WreslteMania. I am pumped for the match. Edge is THE best heel in wrestling today and has been since 2006. Nuff’ said.

-Commercial-

Match #5: Cherry and Michelle McCool vs. Maryse and Victoria Wet and Wild Water Fight with Eve as Special Guest Referee

Victoria is decked out in flippers, floaties, goggles, and a snorkel. Priceless. Cherry is pretty cute in the swimsuit. They throw water balloons at each other. McCool squirts Victoria….with a super soaker. McCool dumps a bucket of water on Maryse. Victoria slips on the water and McCool gets a two count. Victoria drops a bucket of water and slips again. More water balloons by all four women until Victoria breaks a super soaker over McCool. Maryse holds Cherry but Victoria misses with a bucket of water and gets Maryse. There is actually a Cherry chant going on. Wings of Love to Victoria by McCool for the win!

Winners: Cherry and Michelle McCool via pin fall on Victoria by McCool

-Commercial-

Before his match with Chris Jericho, MVP comes out and grabs a mic. He says that after WrestleMania, he will ne known as Money in the Bank as he is better than everybody, including Chris Jericho!

Match #6: WWE Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho (RAW) vs. WWE United States Champion MVP (non title match)

Both men lock up and Jericho gets a headlock and then a wristlock. MVP counters but Jericho counters back. They counter each other until they get to the ropes and separate. MVP gets a kick and slaps Jericho in the face. Jericho responds with a double leg takedown and they exchange blows. Jericho gets a few chops on MVP and nails a high elbow. MVP rolls out of the ring so Jericho hits him with a baseball slide. Both men brawl on the apron and MVP counters Jericho’s spring board dropkick into a big boot for two. Jericho gets another chop but misses a splash in the corner as we go to commercial.

-Commercial-

We’re back with MVP on top of Jericho with a modified abdominal stretch. Jericho gets to a vertical base and hits a hip toss but MVP comes right back with a knee to the gut. Jericho fights back and gets a roll up for two but MVP implants the knee into Jericho’s skull. MVP misses the running big boot. Jericho goes to the top rope and hits a flying forearm to the back of the head. Jericho fires off chops and then a forearm to the face. Clothesline by Jericho for two. Jericho runs off the ropes and MVP nails an over head belly to belly for a two count. MVP misses the clothesline and Jericho gets a NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX for two. I love that move. Jericho goes for the Lionsault but MVP gets the knees up and nails the running big boot for two. Jericho takes advantage of a frustrated MVP and tries the Walls of Jericho, but MVP kicks him away and nails another running big boot. MVP goes for the Playmaker but Jericho counters into the Walls of Jericho! MVP gets to the ropes and trips up Jericho after Jericho broke the hold. MVP gets disqualified for bringing the United States Title in the ring.

Winner: Chris Jericho via disqualification

He goes to hit Jericho but Jericho counters into a Code Breaker onto the belt! Jericho then grabs a ladder and hits MVP in the head with it!

-Commercial-

We get Edge, Zack Ryder, and Curt Hawkins looking pretty snazzy in their suits. Vicky Guerrero and Teddy Long are already in the ring. They play some funeral music and have a funeral parlor set up in the ring for Undertaker’s WrestleMania streak. Edge gets on the mic and says we are here tonight to celebrate the demise of Undertaker’s WrestleMania streak. He talks about how for fifteen WrestleManias, Undertaker has dominated. Men who have fallen are Jimmy Snuka, King Kong Bundy, Jake Roberts, Kane, Triple H, Mark Henry, Batista, Randy Orton, and the list goes on and on. This year though, Edge claims he will bury Undertaker and his streak. With death, comes new life and beginnings. History will be rewritten. People will forget Undertaker after Sunday, and remember one man, Edge! Vicky grabs the mic and says she is unbiased. She says this is difficult because she knows Edge as more than just the World Heavyweight Champion. He is intelligent, strong, determined, tender, loving, and sexy. (Her words, not mine but I agree.) She, along with Hawkins and Ryder, have a surprise for Edge and she shows Edge a video preview of WrestleMania. It’s a movie trailer type video making Edge look like a hero. Edge embraces them and continues to talk about defeating Undertaker. He tells us it is time to bid farewell to Undertaker and his streak once and for all. He then makes out with Vicky until the lights go out, the Undertaker’s music hits, and we get purple! Ryder and Hawkins run up the ramp to meet Taker but the casket in the ring opens and Taker is in it! He pounds away on Edge and takes out Ryder and Hawkins. He chokeslams Edge into the casket and Vicky Guerrero speed waddles up the ramp. Fat bitch. Taker Tombstones Hawkins and Ryder. He goes after Edge again but Edge runs out of the ring as Taker stands tall.

I think this was a great show tonight. Two great matches with Jericho vs. MVP and Punk vs. Morrison, some silly diva fun, a fun six man tag team match, Snitsky gets killed, a good last sell for the World Heavyweight Championship Match. Unlike most people, I am pumped for WrestleMania and as long as there isn’t a hurricane, I think this will be a good show.

Here are the rules of the 2008 Smackdown Wrestler of the Year Competition followed by who scored what tonight:
1. The winner of each match will receive two points unless it is by count out or DQ in which they will receive one point.
2. The winner of a title match will receive an additional point for retaining and two additional points for winning a belt.
3. The winner of the main event will get an additional point.
4. The winner of a specialty match will get an additional point.
5. In a tag team match, a wrestler on the winning team that does not pick up the win will get one point. If the match ends in a DQ or a DRAW, both members of the winning team will get one point.
6. If the match ends in a draw, all wresters involved will get half a point for participating.
7. If it is an elimination match, each elimination is worth one point.
8. If the match is for example, a Best Two Out of Three Falls Match or an Iron Man Match, each fall is worth one point.

Mark Henry wins an elimination match and eliminates 2 people: 4 Points

Kane eliminates one person: 1 Point

CM Punk wins via pin fall: 2 Points

Kofi Kingston wins via pin fall: 2 Points

Jesse wins via teammate: 1 Point

Festus wins via teammate: 1 Point

Batista wins via pin fall: 2 Points

Michelle McCool wins via pin fall in gimmick match: 3 Points

Cherry wins gimmick match via teammate: 2 Points

Chris Jericho wins main event by disqualification: 2 Points

Batista cuts into Undertaker’s lead while Kane, Festus, and CM Punk continue to rack up points. Mark Henry makes a big move and Chris Jericho, Cherry, and Kofi Kingston all debut on the list.

1. Undertaker (17)

2.Batista (16)

3. Rey Mysterio (13)

4. WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Edge (12)

5. Kane (11.5)

6. Festus (10)

7. CM Punk (ECW) (9)
7. Jimmy Wang Yang (9)

9. Curt Hawkins (8.5)
9. Zack Ryder (8.5)

11. Chuck Palumbo (8)
11. Finlay (8)

13. WWE United States Champion: MVP (7.5)

14. Big Show (7)
14. Jesse (7)

16. Great Khali (6)

17. Michelle McCool (5.5)

18. ECW Champion: Chavo Guerrero (5)
18. Shannon Moore (5)

20. WWE Tag Team Champion: John Morrison (ECW) (4.5)
20. Mark Henry (4.5)

22. Big Daddy V (ECW) (4)

23. WWE Tag Team Champion: Miz (ECW) (3.5)

24. Shelton Benjamin (ECW) (3)
24. Victoria (3)

26. Jaime Noble (2.5)

27. Cherry (2)
27. Chris Jericho (RAW) (2)
27. Hornswoggle (2)
27. Kofi Kingston (ECW) (2)

31. Kenny Dykstra (1)
31. Ric Flair (1)

33. Balls Mahoney (ECW) (.5)
33. Layla (ECW) (.5)

I hope you all enjoy WrestleMania and make sure to check out my Road to WrestleMania Preview. Happy WrestleMania everyone!