411’s WWF Sunday Night Heat Report 01.20.02

Hello, and welcome to the pre-ppv edition of WWF Sunday Night Heat. Our hosts are Michael Cole and the returning Al Snow. Tazz is busy defending the Tag Team belts tonight.

The show starts out with a video recap of the Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon feud. We see a replay of the Dudley Boyz attacking the Spike and Tazz in the parking lot at Smackdown. We then cut to Spike and Tazz arriving at the arena. Spike is wearing a neck brace.

We take another look at this week’s Smackdown when Jazz broke Trish’s hand by slamming it in an equipment box. Snow announces that Jacqueline will be the special guest referee for the Women’s Title match. Backstage Trish is getting her hand taped despite the fact that her fingers where slammed not her hand. She is going to compete tonight, against the trainer’s advice.

We now take a look at a Rumble match video teaser. Backstage Lilian Garcia interviews Maven, who will participate in the Rumble match. Maven gives a horrendous interview. Somebody call Josh and tell him there has been a recount. I should point out that throughout the show we’ve been seeing the Rumble Return spots and some Rumble Flashbacks. I, of course, cannot be bothered recapping them. And you thought our “buy the shirt” stuff is annoying. That reminds me, buy the shirt.

We go back to Smackdown to take a look at the mini-rumble they had. It starts out with Rikishi beating the crap out of both Lance Storm and Christian. Then the Big Show comes in and after some back and forth with Rikishi he picks him up and throws him out. The crap-a-thon continues with the APA coming out to take on TBS two on one and eliminate him. Bradshaw then tries to eliminate Farooq to remind everyone of the “every man for himself” aspect of the Rumble. He can’t quite do it. Farooq tries to eliminate Bradshaw but before he can, Kane comes out. Kane disposes of both men to win the “match”. I guess we needed that because the concept of the Royal Rumble is so complicated.

We cut backstage to see Ric Flair arriving in the arena, with his family. J.R. and Jerry Lawler join us in the broadcast. Kurt Angle makes his way out to the ring. He is greeted by a “you suck” chant. That is followed by the “what” chant. Kurt wants to talk about habits. He lists bad habits such as biting your nails and chanting “what” like an idiot. Angle proceeds to make a heel speech that is actually catered to work with the chants. Kurt also has a habit, the habit of being a winner. He requests a “hero” chant for when he wins the Rumble later tonight. Lawler actually tries to start it up. Angle is finally fed up enough that he leaves the ring, but Lawler comes to the ring to try to smooth things over. Lawler gives his Rumble winner prediction. He name drops a little bit then announces Kurt as his favorite.

The show ends with a hype package for the Rock vs. Y2J match Undisputed Championship match.

This was without a doubt the most horrendous piece of crap Heat I have ever had the bad luck of watching. No matches, bad interviews, a bunch of hype. It actually made me NOT want to watch the Rumble. Before I go, I have to plug the 411 Fan Forum’s very own Rumble. It is part of the 411 E-Fed and is written by Cerebral Assassin. It should be pretty fun, and I’m apparently in it, so it can’t be all bad. Be sure to check it out. Ok, I’m out.

See ya.