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Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 8.16.23
Image Credit: AEW
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Man I love wrestling!
It’s Wednesday, you know what that means…
Woohoo! We’re starting with some Orange Cassidy!
International Championship Match
Orange Cassidy vs Wheeler Yuta
OC with an Orange Punch right out the gate, but doenst get it. They trade head scissors and takedowns. An arm drag for each, and Yuta stops the fun with a big chop. OC puts his hands in the air, then chops Yuta. Yuta returns They go back and forth. The chops turn into forearms, and they go back and forth for a solid minute. OC finally gets the upperhand until Yuta slinks under and hits a Saito Suplex, only for OC to pop up and do the same! Kick from Yuta, kick from Orange! They hit the ropes! Double kick! Both men down!
They meet in the middle for some right hands again, but OC gets Yuta against the rope and stomps him out until the ref stops him. Yuta shoots OC to the outside. Suicide dive to OC! Yuta clubs the back, then locks. The head of OC. BUT ORANGE REVERSES AND HITS A SUPLEX ON THE MAT OUTSIDE! Yuta climbs up the ramp. OC follows, fully on his feet. Yuta kicks the side of the leg. He captures the head and PILEDRIVER ON THE RAMP! Yuta kicks OC down the ramp, rolling him to the edge. Yuta is mocking OC with some soft kicks then a superkick to the side of the head. Yuta sends OC into the ring, follows, OC with a surprise Beach Break! Cover! 1..2…NO!!!!
We are back from break and Yuta is biting the hand of Orange Cassidy. Stomp to the right hand. Yuta with a right to the face, holding onto the right hand. A few more from Yuta. OC hits an elbow with the right, while still being held, switch around, sends Yuta to the ropes, Yuta flies through, holds on, swings back in, and OC hits a dropkick! Suicide dive! He tosses Yuta back into the ring. OC climbs the corner. Yuta with a high kick to te head. He runs up the corner, hooks OC up by the head, SUPERPLEX!!! Yuta runs to the apron, climbs the corner, flies with a splash and gets a 1..2….NO!!!! Yuta tries for the elbows, but OC escapes, kicks away, Yuta with a Dragon Screw, OC kicks Yuta away, Michinoku Driver off the ropes from Orange Cassidy! 1..2…NO!!! OC hits the ropes, big kick! Hits the ropes again, tornado DDT to Yuta! OC hits Yuta with a Paradigm Shift!!! Haha. Nice.
ORANGE PUNCH! OC IS HURT! HE CANT COVER! SEATBEALT COVER BY YUTA! 1….2…….NO!!!!! Yuta tries for a sunset flip, but Orange sits on the hold! A pin! 1….2….3!!!
Winner: Orange Cassidy
Another day, another Orange Cassidy opener.
Total Rating: *****
Match Time: 11:51
The Blackpool Combat Club attacks!! It’s short lived, though, because The Best Friends run down the ramp! Trent Baretta attacks Claudio, Chuck Taylor goes after Moxley. But Yuta is there to attack Trent!
Here come The Lucha Bros! Double superkick to Claudio! They gho after Moxley, but Jon runs out the ring. Claudio and Jon grab some chairs.
BUT HERE COMES EDDIE KINGSTON!!!!!
Eddie meets Claudio at the bottom of the rmap and hits a bunch of rights. Huge knee. He sends Claudio into the ring. Trent and Chuck send Jon Moxley back out of the ring. The faces stand tall and the crowd loves it.
Eddie on the mic. He wants BCC at Wembley Stadium. ALL-IN! STADIUM STAMPEDE!
We’re here with Jim Ross and Kenny Omega. JR takes us back to Kenny’s first title win, and wonders how Kenny could ever be friends with Don. Kenny says Don was always there, a friend withhis real uncle. Kenny didn’t have friends, he wanst able to have summer vacations. Don gave him his first weight set, his first protein. Kenny would bring first place trophies and scholarships. Don guided him to be the best athelete he could be. Kenny tries to remember that version of Don.
JR says he’s trying to justify Don’s existence in his life.
Kenny thinks he’s still his uncle, and he tried to justify what he’s done. Trying to find reasons not to make his entire existence revenge. He just wants to move on. He doesn’t want to talk about Don and the people he chooses.
Kenny says he saw a lot of Takeshita in himself. Of course Don would go after him. Don made sure it would hurt Kenny. He has the power to giveth and to taketh away. He will take Don’s cash cow away.
Here comes Don Callis who asks Kenny about his mental health. He is concerned.
This allows a blindside from Jay White and Juice Robinson, and through some shitty editing, we suddnely flash to them hitting Kenny with a pipe across the back. Here comes Takeshita with a huge 4×4 and smacks Kenny across the back while being choked with a bunch of ropes.
Hangman Adam Page is “Outside of a hospital” with an ambulance, and says the thing about a beatdown is you have to finish it. Kenny is not finished nor is he friendless. He and Kota Ibushi will be there at All-In to take on Juice, Jay, and Takeshita. This little beatdown they started, at Wembley, they finish it.
A part of the medical staff comes up to him, saying this is a hospital, Page cant be drinking a beer. So he chugs it.
Switch gears to the ring where Don Callis is being showered in boos. Today, we get the answer. He introduces Chris Jericho.
Chris Jericho comes out solo.
Don tells Jericho he saw what The JAS did last week. Jericho brings it up, says it made him realize maybe he should reevaluate his lifestyle and ways. Like he told Don, he doesn’t join factions, he creates them. After last week, the answer is obvious. Jericho says his answer is YES!
Why? When the JAS walked out on him, it made him realize he need to get back to his roots, get selfish, align with a man as low as Jericho is, and regain the AEW Championship.
They hug it out. Don is shocked but elated.
Don says let’s not waste anymore time with we rubes. He wants to go beat up some rednecks. Jericho says before they go, what’s wit the picture?
There is a covered picture in the ring that Jericho wants to see. Don says no, let’s celebrate. Jericho takes the curtain off, and it’s a pic of Don holding Jericho’s head up high. Just his head. Lol.
Don says it’s a rib. Jericho wonders if Don was going to have him beheaded if he said no. Don is unable to explain himself. He says this is embarrassing. He paid a lot of money to have him, Jericho, and Bad News, and the artist screwed it up.
Jericho knows when Don is lying. He tells Don to shut up. He’s lying to Jericho’s face. He needs Don to be straight. Tell him the truth.
Don says ok, Jericho is right, he didn’t think Jericho would say yes, but because of his massive ego. He’s known Jericho for 34 years, and it’s always been all about Jericho. So yes, he thought Jericho would make a dumb decision and say no. In a business full of egomaniacs, Jericho truly is the greatest at that – a narcisstic egomaniac who is too stupid to see whats good for him.
Jericho wonders who the hell Don Callis is. Three years ago, he wasn’t in the business, and nobody cared. Now, because of Jericho, he is in AEW at the top of his career, and still nobody cares. This is why Don has lost everything – family, Kenny, friends, messed up every personal relationship he’s ever had, all because he is a low life, a worm, a piece of trash, and an asshole.
Don with a slap across the face of Jericho.
Jericho grabs Don, corners him, brings him to his knees, and here comes Konosuke Takeshita. Jericho attacks him in the corner, beating him down until Will Ospreay shows up! Will with the chair. RIGHT ACROS THE HEAD OF JERICHO! Don grabs the painting and cracks it over the head of Jericho, leaving him dripping blood in the middle of the ring.
Sammy Guevara is her with a bat! He runs down the ramp and into the ring as Don and Co leave.
Jack Perry video package and he informs us that next week, he’ll be retiring the FTW Championship.
Darby Allin’s music hits, but Darby doesn’t come out alone, and he doesn’t come out well. Toa Liona and Bishop Kaun have Darby and Nick Wayne hurting. They toss the guys down the ring, then against the steps and into the ring.
The bell rings, then the music of Swerve Strickland hits. He comes down with AR Fox as we head to break.
Bishop Kaun and Toa Liona vs Darby Allin and Nick Wayne
WE come to the match with The Gates of Agony hitting a double team move on Nick. The big guys but heads and Nick gets a tag to Darby, who flies through the ropes into Toa, then back in the ring to try and crucifix Kaun down. Nick in to dropkick and send Bishop into the pin. 1..2.NO!!! Darby hops on the back of Toa, but Bishop stop him, hits abak breaker, Toa off the top rope dives of with an elbow. Cover from Bishop for 1..2.NO!! Nick hops over the ref to stop the pin. Whip to Darby, Toa and Biship each try to orner their respective foes, but the little guys move. Toa locks up, Darby hangs Toa up on the apron. Nick with a rana off the apron! Dropkick to Bishop, he flies over the head, NICK WITH A CUTTER!
Darby to the top rope! Nick follows. Coffin Drop to Bishop while Nick moonsaults onto Toa on the outside. Cover from Darby. 1..2….3!!
Winners: Nick Wayne and Darby Allin
The timing on this was a bit weird, with a bulk of it happening during a commercial, and I don’t think this was a tornado tag but it sure acted like it.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 5:03
Sting is on the tron! He stops Swerve and AR while they walk down the ramp. Sting says he is directing a movie. He tells Fox, this is for him, he better have eyes on the back of his head 24/7. Because they have a coffin match in 9 days at Wembley.
WE zoom out and Sting has Prince with him. He tells Sting they are 11 days away, actually. Sting says all he’s gotta say is…It’s Showtime! Sting screams in Prince Nana’s face and lets him leave scared. Sting sits back, psycho, sings, saying he needs someone to talk to.
MJF and Adam Cole are at a steakhouse. MJF says he is preparing for Wembley, and if they are going to beat the Aussies, they need to eat like them…they are at Outback Steakhouse.
We get a montage of them ordering, with Cole being heavily excited.
MJF calls this the best food he’s ever eaten, and if their food was that good, the wrestling is going to be ten times better.
Cole has an idea on how to prepare for Aussie Open…by watching Crocodile Dundee, both 1 and 2.
MJF has something to show Cole. He has a video of kangaroos fighting. This is how they beat him. Watch this. MJF has a kangaroo kick to show Cole. It looks horrible and hilarious.
Cole’s idea is better.
WE switch gears to them hunting down a wild croc similar to Irwin. They take this as an opportunity to double clothesline the nearest wrestling holding an inflatable croc.
WE then go to a video of Tony Khan’s door, and behind that door, he is yelling at both MJF and Cole. He says leave the double clothesline in the ring.
MJF and Cole leave the office, and MJF says Tony will regret that come 2024. Khan opesn the door, screams at MJF, MJF says nothing, Khan smiles, says thanks, acts weird, then leaves.
MJF and Cole pull up to the arena, MJF says he’s gotta take a dump, and leaves. Cole leaves. Here comes Roderick Strong to kick MJFs car, then hold his foot in pain.
We come back from break and MJF and Adam Cole are coming down to the ring.
MJF talks to Nashville, does a little jig, and says The Devil has arrived. MJF tells Cole to talk to all these 10s he sees.
Cole readies us for storytime. He says Wembley is the biggest pro wrestling event of all time. If you got a ticket, make sure your butts are in the seats by 5, beause on Zero Hour, Cole and MMJF will become the new ROH Tag Team Champions. And they’re going to do it
MJF” “With the Kangaroo Kick, baby.”
MJF starts a Kangaroo Kick chant. Cole says they will win the title with a double clothesline.
Later that night, in the main event, it’s Cole vs MJF and it’ll be the most important match of his entire life. Nine months ago, he was told he’d never wrestle again. He’d lay away, crying, thinking his dream may be dead, and now he is in the main event of the biggest event of all time, challenging for the most precious prize, and doing it with one of his best friends. It’s so important for his legacy. For 15 years, he’s been at the top of every promotion he’s ever worked for. This match with max solidifies his legacy in AEW. Not just being in the match, but winning it, because he loves Max, but he needs to win more than he can ever imagine. As MJF’s friend, the second the bell rings, he will do anything to win the title.
MJF says that was a great story, but MJF’s is better. He Nashville, who’s ready for story time with MJF baybay? When he first got into this sport, on his first day he was told to write down dream opponents. He wrote down two. Cody Rhodes and Adam Cole. Fast forward to 2018. He has a new Dodge Ram truck, and in one year, he put 90,000 miles on it because he busted his ass trying to make a name for himself. Then a birdie tells him that there will be a show in Chicago that would be the biggest in the history of wrestling in decades, and that show was called All In. He sent an e mail to Cody, and promised him he would not disappoint. Some time went by, the show was getting closer. He finally got a response, and Cody told him that he was All-In. He got to open a PPV he had no right being on. He may have lost, but he managed to turn some heads – one of them being Tony Khan. Khan offered him to a contract to a company called All Elite Wrestling. If there is no All-In, there is no MJF. That’s a fact.
The year is 2023, and MJF climbed up the card, growing up in front of all of us. He became a generational talent, the devil himself, one of the best, and the AEW World Champion. Now he’s looking at the chance to be at a show called All-In, and again it’s the biggest opportunity of all time. He will be in the main event with who, on day one, was his dream opponent, and is now his best friend. This means so much to him.
However, it doesn’t mean everything to him. There is only one thing that means everything to him, and it’s the title. This is not simply just a title, it’s a symbol of his blood, sweat, tears, missteps, hours training, studying tape, all so he can obtain the championship, and he will not be laying down just because he’s Cole’s bud. He loves Cole like a brother, but a win in Wembley will make him legendary. He will win, because nobody is on the level of the devil.
Cole: “May the best man win.”
MJF has a feeling the best man is going to win, because he is Maxwell Jacob Friedman, because he’s better than Cole, and he knows it.
That’s interesting, because he is pretty sure the name of the new champion is…ADAM COLE BAYBAY!
They smile at each other, knock knucles, and here comes AUSSIE OPEN!
They attack but MJF and cole corner them with stomps. They call for a Double Clothesline. They send Davis inot the ropes, Davis holds on and slinks out the ring. Fletcher is still in the corner. He turns, but his partner pulls him out of the ring.
MJF holds his title in the air, the crowd chants Kangaroo Kick, Cole looks like he’s ready to attack! MJF turns, and Cole stands up.
Crowd asks them to hug it out. They do, but Cole’s eyes are firmly on the title.
Chris Jericho challenges Will Ospreay to a match at All-In where he promises to drink his blood.
Jeff makes his entrance, makes his way down to the ring, into the crowd, then makes his way into a Concourse area where a bunch of weapons hang up on a wall under orange light. The bell rings just as JJ runs in with a strap to attack Jeff.
Texas Chainsaw Deathmatch
Jeff Hardy vs Jeff Jarrett
JJ continues to attack Jeff through the hallway. In comes Satnam Singh to choke Hardy while wearing overalls. Here comes Ethan Page, Matt Hardy, and Isaiah Kassidy to attack Singh. Page punches Jeff, Matt pours some blood on Jarrett. Jeff is here with a crutch to chase JJ and his wife through the hallway. It’s red, Jarrett is covered in blood, Karen screams that they need to hide.
We are back to the show and they have a clip of everyone walking calmly up steps towards the stage for a second, then flip to Jeff and Jarrett near the announce table. Kren has a fake bone in her hand while Jeff chokes Jarrett up down the ramp. Karen hops on the back of Isaih. A fog machine is under the ring. Sonjay Dutt is beating down Ethan Page with a hat on. Mat sends Jay Lethal into the barricade.
In the ring, Jeff has a kendo stick. He attacks Jarrett with it until Page, Kassidy, and Matt come into the ring. All four get turns to beat Jarrett down a bit. Jeff with a Twist of Fate. He lays Jarret on te table. Sonjay, Lethal, and Karen pull people out of the eing but Jeff is still able to hit the Swanton off the top through the table. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Jay Lethal in to break this up. Page looks to finish Lethal, but Sonjay in to cut him off. Matt in. Twist of Fate to lethal, he tries wit Dutt, but Karen with a low blo. JJ has his guitar. He enters the ring, kick from Jeff. He has the guitar now. A hard smack to JJ over the head.
The sounds of a chainsaw are heard, and here comes Leatherface swinging a chainsaw down the ramp. He stops at the bottom of the ramp, kicks Sonjay Dutt, then stalks Karen Jarrett up the ramp.
Jeff Hardy turns, and Singh is waiting for him. GOOZLE! Chokes—NO!!!! Kick to Sing! JAY LETHAL WITH A HAMMER TO THE HEAD! Singh Goozles! CHOKESLAM! Lethal pulls JJ to cover. 1…2…3!!!!
Winners: Nobody. Absolutely no one won here.
This was one six-sided ring away from being the worst thing I’ve ever seen.
Total Rating: DUD
Match Time: 9:59
Bunny vs Britt Baker
Baker is quick to roll Bunny up for 1..2.NO!!! Another cover for 1..2.NO!!! Lockjaw attempt but Bunny turns it into a pin for 1..2.NO!!! Kick from Bunny. A knee. She hits the ropes and hits another running knee. Bunny grabs Britt by the head, tries to take her down the Rabbit Hole, but Britt turns, hits a knee, rights to the chest, elbow out the corner from Bunny. Ahe heads to the top rope. Bunny with a leg scissor around the head, hanging off the top rope! Ref breaks it.
Oh yeah, this is a qualifying match. Lol.
Anyway, we come back and Britt is hitting some elbow strikes before a whip, a ripcord, and a right hand. She hits the ropes, slingblade. Britt lokcs the head, double underhooks, we get a butterfly suplex and a cover for 1..2..NO!!! Bunny shoulders Britt, Britt floats off, spins her into another rolling elbow. She clubs the back,hooks the leg, swinging neckbreaker. Cover for 1..2…NO!!!
Britt reaches for her glove, but Penelope Ford is on the apron and takes it out of her hand. Britt shoves her off the apron. She turns into a Superkick! Britt hits a Superkick of her own! She then stomps Bunny and covers for 1..2..3!!!
Winner: Britt Baker
A match with a foregone conclusion that spent about half of it picture in picture.
Total Rating: *1/2
Match Time: 7:31
The Acclaimed come out to face some jobbers. They get in the ring after a rap. The lights go out, and when they come back on, The House of Black is standing in the ring! The Acclaimed turn and Buddy Matthews and Brody King attack! Brody with a chain, clocks Max across the head. They turn to Bowens, and Buddy hits him with a knee. He lifts him, tosses him into a pildedriver from King. Buddy grabs Max from the outside and sends him into the ring. Right hands over and over, and it looks like Max is bleeding. Max reaches for his partner, but Buddy hits the ropes, then stomps Max down.
Julia Hart has Billy Gunns boots. She hands them over to Buddy, who hands them to Brody, who hands them to Black.
The Gunns make thei entrance, but are attacked by The Young Bucks almost immediately
The Gunns vs The Young Bucks
All men enter the ring and we bet a bell. The Bucks double team Colten with a suplex. Austin runs in and gets hip tossed onto his brother. Double dropkick then a beatdown in the corner. Whips to The Gunns, reversed, do-si-do from The Bucks and they dropkick The Gunns out of the ring. Matt shooys over onto th apron, Nick hits the ropes and dives over his brother onto The Gunns. Austin clips the ankle of Matt, Matt kicks him, he hits the ropes, Austin trips him up again. Colten sends Matt into th corner. Hits some stomps over and over. Tag to Austin, knee lift, clothesline, cover! 1..2..NO!!!
We are BACK and Matt reaches for a tag, but Nick is not ther. Here come both Gunns, they hit each other with a clothesline, Matt hops up, they catch him, he rolls through, over and tags in Nick. Nick flies with a crossbody. A right to Austin, to Colten, to Austin, chops the chest, flies with a head scissors/arm drag combo. Nick with a Superkick to Austin, he catches ,tries for a Fameasser, Nick shoots him off, SUPERKICK! Nick kicks Colten off the apron, x-Factor into the ring for Austin, then he hits a moonsault to Colten! Ta to Matt, They corner Austin, Superkick, bull dog into a running kick from Nick. BTE Trig—NO!! Colten flies in with a clothesline to both men! He drags Austin over to the corner, tags himself in, Runs into a big kick from Nick on the apron. Matt sets him up but Colten slides through the ropes and trips Nick. Matt shoves Colten into his brother, rolls up for 1..2.NO!!!! Ducks under a right, 3:10 to Yuma to Matt! Cover! 1…2.NO!!! STOMP FROM THE TOP ROPE FROM NICK!!! Tag to Austin. FAMEASSER!
Austin hits the ropes, Matt side steps. GERMAN! Pops up, so Matt goes behind, switch, Matt hits the ropes, rolls up, Austin tries to hold his brother’s hands, but Matt kicks him away, the rollup is reversed, Nick holds Matt’s hand and we get a 1..2..3!!!!!
Winners: The Young Bucks
A paint by numbers Bucks match, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but also not the best thing on a night like tonight. The Gunns looked really good, though. Good for them.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 9:31
Here comes Jay White and Juice Robinson to attack The Young Bucks! The Gunns help. Just as they are about to break the arms of the Bucks, the music of FTR hits! They sneak in from behind as everyone is waiting or them. They attack The Gunns, then make short work of White and Robinson. Shatter Machine to Juice! The Bucks are up! They want superkicks! They turn, FTR is in wait. All four stop and stare each other down.
End Show
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