Csonka’s Impact Wrestling Review 3.08.19

Csonka’s Impact Wrestling Review 3.08.19

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Non-Title Match: Champion Rich Swann defeated Ethan Page @ 8:10 via pin [***]
– Ace Austin defeated Jake Atlas @ 3:30 via pin [**]
– The Dark War: Rosemary, Jordynne Grace, & Kiera Hogan defeated Su Yung, Dark Allie, & The Undead Maid of Honor @ 11:32 via pin [**¾]
– Non-Title Match: Champions The Lucha Bros defeated Wentz & Xavier @ 7:55 via pin [***¼]

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Champion Rich Swann vs. Ethan Page: They go power vs. Speed to begin, with Swann hitting a dropkick. He follows with chops, but Page takes him down and lays the boots to him. Swann battles back with a RANA and kicks for 2. Page hits a back elbow, and then a side suplex for 2. The back breaker follows, as Page focuses on the back. Page again hits a back elbow, celebrates, and follows with kicks. Swann fires back, and hits a blockbuster. Swann dumps him and follows with a tope. Back in and Swann hits a frog splash for 2. Swann back up top, but Page uses the ref to crotch him. The iconoclasm and brain buster connects for 2. They trade strikes, kicks, and page unloads on Swann. Swann lays in kicks, superkicks are traded, and Swann hits the lethal injection. The Phoenix splash finishes it. Champion Rich Swann defeated Ethan Page @ 8:10 via pin [***] This was a good and fun opening match.

– OVE arrives and Sami says tonight is the night Swann joins oVe. They are family, and gives Swann an oVe shirt. Swann hugs Sami and he’s in, putting on the shirt. Nope, Swann attacks and lays them out and bails.

– LAX meets in their clubhouse. Konnan says that they wouldn’t be in this position if they didn’t do things on their own. Konnan will get them their rematch.

– We get highlights from last week’s main event.

Ace Austin vs. Jake Atlas: They lockup and work into some back and forth. Austin works slick escapes, lays in kicks, takes out the knee and follows with a dropkick. Austin eats a running kick, and Atlas follows with strikes. Austin fires back, hits the disaster kick and that gets 2. Atlas battles back with a DVD for 2. Austin follows with kicks, hits double knees and the fold for the win. Ace Austin defeated Jake Atlas @ 3:30 via pin [**] This was ok, I think Atlas got a bit too much in as Austin was to be featured here. Austin has a ton of potential.

– Johnny & Taya are interviewed. Johnny has a neck brace on. Taya puts over how serious his injury is, and Johnny says he will defend against Cage and be a man of his word.

– We get a Reno Scum promo, claiming their loss last week was a fluke.

Alisha Talks: Alisha thanks Impact for her opportunity in the company. Her contract is expiring. What’s next for her? She likes to show the fans a good time, but maybe it’s time to stay home and start a family. Desi Hit Squad arrives. They say she’s finally making sense, and are sick of women’s empowerment. Her job is to stay home, as this is no place for her. Gama tells her to cook, clean, and serve her man. She slaps him. Eddie & Kenny arrive but the numbers get to him. Eli Drake makes the save, hits gravy trains and Gama runs. The angle between Eddie & Drake continues, Alisha is no good on the mic.

– Eddie & Alisha argue, and Eddie then thanks Drake. Drake says they nee to go for tag gold, Alisha calls him stubborn and says they may have something and Drake maybe the only one Edie has left. Drake says they will face Desi Hit Squad next week.

– From 2014, the GWN flashback is the Hardys vs. Wolves vs. Team 3D.

– Moose and Kross say they feel great, Moose hits on Melissa, and Kross says that there is a crisis situation with Johnny, and that if they don’t get title shots, no one will. They agree to celebrate at the best steakhouse in Vegas.

– The Rascalz toke it up.

The Dark War: Rosemary, Jordynne Grace, & Kiera Hogan vs. Su Yung, Dark Allie, & The Undead Maid of Honor: If Rosemary’s team wins, she gets Allie back. If she loses, she must go with Jim Mitchell. Mitchell is at ringside. They brawl at the bell with the faces clearing the ring. Hogan works over Yung, tags in Rosemary and Yung runs away. Allie tags in, but then tags out to the maid of honor. They trade, Rosemary follows with a tarantula, tags in Grace and Allie tags back in. Grace hits a German and senton, Hogan tags in and they work double teams for 2. The heels cut off Hogan as Allie hits a cutter for 2. Post break, and the heels continue to work over Hogan. Allie follows with a clothesline, and then lays the boots to Hogan. Yung tags in but Hogan cradles her for 2. Yung now grounds things, Allie tags back in and chokes out Hogan. Hogan fires back with a flurry of kicks, and tags in Rosemary. She takes out Yung and hits the reverse DDT on Allie. It breaks down a bit. Yung hits Hogan with Panic switch, Grace and Allie in and Allie hits a code breaker. Yung mists the maid of honor by accident, and Rosemary ends up pinning her after a Grace spear. Rosemary, Jordynne Grace, & Kiera Hogan defeated Su Yung, Dark Allie, & The Undead Maid of Honor @ 11:32 via pin [**¾] This was a pretty good, but disappointing match. Outside of the lights, there was nothing special about this, and it never felt like a war of any kind. I didn’t need any wackiness, but some weapons, intensity, and real aggression would have been appreciated.

– Rosemary puts a collar on Allie and drags her away.

– Disco meets with Konnan, and he tells him to threaten to kick Calis’ ass. He mistakenly was yelling at Kross, who kicks the shit out of him.

– Disco now thinks he hears Vince Russo and then thinks he sees Jeff Jarrett, but was wrong both times. He then thinks he sees Cody & The Bucks and tries to get a job with AEW. Disco heads to commentary to meet with Callis and joins them.

– Scarlet arrives and makes fun of the people in her talent search. She buries Disco, who gets in the ring. He mocks her for wanting to wrestle and says she will suck at it. He runs down women’s wrestling, and says the only good women’s wrestling was brand panties matches. Scarlet slaps him and says she can kick his ass. Disco tells her to go home and go shopping and cook. And then, she can come back and try to kick his ass. Scarlet promises to make him her bitch.

-Rosemary drags Allie outside, and tells Hogan & Grace to leave them alone.

– Tessa faces Grace next week in a #1 contender’s match and still blames Gail Kim for losing her title.

Champions The Lucha Bros vs. Wentz & Xavier: Fenix and Xavier to begin. They work into some back and forth, superkick by Xavier but Fenix cuts him off as Pentagon attacks Wentz on the floor. The champions pick up the pace, work double teams and get a near fall. They isolate Xavier, who fires up with strikes and Fenix accidentally spears Pentagon. Wentz tags in and lays in a flurry of kicks on Fenix. The springboard knee strike follows for 2. Fenix battles back with chops, Pentagon tags in and hits a superkick to the knee. Wentz cuts him off, it breaks down, and Xavier hits an over the post assisted dive. Back in and the swanton and final flash gets 2 as Pentagon makes the save. Xavier & Fenix trade strikes, the Luchas follow with kicks and assisted Pentagon driver for the win. Champions The Lucha Bros defeated Wentz & Xavier @ 7:55 via pin [***¼] This was a good main event, just too short. I want these four to get a good 15 sometime soon as I think they could do great things.

– Post match, Konnan meets with the champions. They are pissed about the mask angle, and Konnan asks about a rematch. They say no. Konnan demands it and says they need to give him a date the next time they meet.

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

The 411 on Wrestling Podcast returns after a long hiatus to the 411 Podcasting Network. On today’s show, 411’s Larry Csonka discuses Jushin Liger’s retirement, Tommaso Ciampa’s neck injury, previews the WWE Fastlane PPV, and discusses his recent medical issues, which led to his absence in early 2019. The show is approximately 33 minutes long.

Intro
Liger – 3:30
Ciampa – 6:20
Fastlane – 9:40
Personal Update – 23:45

7.0

The final score: review Good

The 411

This week’s episode of Impact Wrestling was a good show, bookended with good wrestling and some overall nice angle advancement in the middle.